 Good morning my beautiful friends and welcome back to Tuesday. Nope. I get this wrong every time. I swear. I have taboo Tuesdays Welcome back to taboo Tuesdays where we talk about difficult subjects or things that you may have always wondered But never felt comfortable asking or things that are just weird to talk about because hey I think education is important and the more we talk about things the less weird things become Today I'm gonna answer a question that so many of you guys asked me about and it really all boils down to Subconsciousness when it comes to being an amputee for the first 27 years of my life I had two legs now. I have one in a one in three quarters Do I have two good legs or do I have one and a half in my amputee in my dreams? How about when I wake up? Do I ever forget that I am missing a leg? Do I ever try to take a step on it? These are super good questions and actually things that I always wondered about so let's dive in and talk about that So if you aren't an amputee, what do you think? I mean, do you think that your dreams would immediately adjust? Do you think that you would always remember you were missing a leg? Let me know in the comment section down below and then let's head on with the rest of this video And I'll give you my answer up before that quick word from our sponsor Well, it's actually from me, but I'm not our sponsor today audible.com is sponsoring this video I absolutely love this service. It's why I love talking about them. They are the world's largest collection of online Audiobooks I use them literally every day I'll usually fall asleep to an audiobook and right now along with Joe's book club over on patreon Which I just launched earlier this week I am listening to everything happens for a reason and other lies I've loved which is a fabulous book so far great narration I really enjoy it so check out audible.com if you're interested in audiobooks now Here's the thing if you want to check it out for a month totally free You want to get a free audiobook and just see how the service works use the link down below Not only will that help me and support the channel, but it'll get you a free audiobook You'll get to see how audible works and get totally hooked like I did and now I've had a membership for like three years So who am I in my dreams? Do I have two legs or one? I actually really wondered about this when I was heading into amputation like I mean if you've been one thing looked one way for 27 years and then something changes overnight is your Mind gonna like recognize that is your subconscious gonna recognize that are your dreams going to immediately change I think that question when I was asking it came from a really logical place like oh our dreams or representations of ourselves But actually dreams really aren't representations of ourselves dreams are like projections at least for me They're usually of things I fear I get a lot of weird dreams and like nightmares and things like that So I kind of assumed that as soon as I was missing a leg my brain would kind of adjust to that But it didn't it didn't for a really long time I think I've had like one dream in which I was missing a leg and it was like a daily life dream It was like I was just living a normal day in my dream while I was sleeping It wasn't a very restful night, but aside from that I have been like running around and doing stuff with two good legs I've had a prosthetic on in one dream, which is weird to me because my body has permanently changed I obviously know that but my dreams don't I still dream like I have two legs I'd be really interested to ask this to someone who lost a limb when they were much younger than me Or was like born with limb differences. It's an interesting question to me But what about when I wake up do I forget that I don't have a leg This is like super super common for amputees wake up in the middle of night You're groggy You just want to head to the bathroom and head back to your warm bed and you forget you have a leg and you take a step And you fall that has not happened to me fingers crossed just yet when I wake up I'm usually like awake really quickly So I've always been aware of the fact that I am missing a leg but there have been two times I have tried to take a step and very quickly very quickly came to the realization that oh wait That doesn't it doesn't work that way anymore Both times it was when I was trying to like stand up from a chair to be honest with you one time was when I was trying to stand Up from the toilet, but I mean whatever we're gonna call it a chair And so when I tried to take that step and like fell over I had somewhere to sit back to so neither was like catastrophic I didn't actually fall down either time. Thankfully I have fallen. I have like slipped on crutches before I've had some issues with that But never because I forgot that I had a leg didn't have a leg I have a leg never because I forgot that I don't have two good legs anymore thinking about it now It kind of makes sense to me that Subconscious things like like dreams and stuff like that wouldn't necessarily adjust a hundred percent because I have phantom pain, right? My nervous system still thinks my ankle and foot and toes are there I feel it right now I feel both of my legs all the time the sensation is weird like a lot of times my ghost foot will feel stuck or At a weird angle or something like that, but it's always present It still feels like it's there even though it's not so it kind of makes sense to me that while I'm sleeping It would still be a part of my body if that makes sense I've also never woken up so far and like forgotten that all of this happened like woke up and thought oh I have two good legs and I'm like ready to go for the day. I'm kind of glad that hasn't happened I think that'd be kind of a jarring experience if I woke up And I thought I was like, you know back years ago and then realized that I wasn't for the past seven months every time That I have woken up. I have been fully aware. I am an amputee. I am missing a chunk of my leg It's gone now. It's gone forever. Yeah, and that hasn't been an issue Those are super good questions though guys and things that I wondered too before I actually lost my legs Keep those questions coming feel free to comment in the comment section down below if you have any other suggestions for taboo Tuesdays videos Because I'd love to hear them as long as something is asked respectfully I would love to hear what you are wondering about a huge debt of gratitude goes out to all of my patrons Thank you so much to everyone who is supporting me over on patreon. You guys are amazing and help me so much I truly appreciate it today's patron of the day is Marilyn Marilyn Thank you so much for everything you've done for me from sending me truly delicious cake to taking care of me by supporting me on Patreon and more thank you so much as always I really look forward to reading your comments and responding to as many as I can and thank you again to audible for sponsoring this video Please check them out. They are fabulous, and I really like a service. I'll link the book that I'm reading down below Thank you guys so much for spending a few minutes with me here today I truly appreciate your time and your care and your compassion and your awesomeness So thanks for being here and listening. I look forward to seeing you in my next video I love you guys. I'm thinking of you, and I will see you then. Bye guys