 There's a pretty serious mental health issue that you're probably struggling with and you don't even realize it. And the problem is that this is affecting your relationships with people around you and there's something you can do about it. And this mental health issue is called Black and White Thinking. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about helping you out with your mental health. So if you would like to improve your mental and emotional well-being, make sure you subscribe and hit that notification bell. But this is a video that I've had planned for a long time and I've been waiting for the right opportunity to do it. And right now with all of the drama going on in the YouTube world as well as in pop culture in general, there is no better time than now to talk about Black and White Thinking. Now some of you might have heard of this, okay? Black and White Thinking which is also known as Splitting is a symptom of a mental illness called borderline personality disorder. And if you ask anybody who has borderline personality disorder about their black and white thinking and how it affects their relationships, they can tell you how awful it is. But they're one step ahead of you because they actually acknowledge it. Now, hold up, hold up, hold up. I'm not saying that you have BPD but what fascinates me about BPD is that a lot of people have one or maybe two of these symptoms. In order to have BPD, you need something like five or six of the symptoms or more to be diagnosed. But so many people have symptoms of it and they don't realize it and any of these symptoms can really hurt you, okay? So I think it's important that we talk about it. Now, what is black and white thinking? You're sitting here like, hey dude, quit rambling and let's talk. What is black and white thinking? So black and white thinking or splitting is when you have a person in your life, right? Or you see a person and they are in one of two categories. They are all good or they are all bad. And this can be very harmful to relationships. Say, for example, it's your mom. You love your mom. Your mom gave birth to you. She does everything for you. All sorts of stuff. She is just the best person on earth. But then your mom does something that you don't like that you disagree with. She didn't give you that thing that you wanted. Now, she has gone from this perfect person over to this other category and she is the worst, most terrible, awful person, okay? Same thing could be with your boyfriend or your girlfriend. They're so loving, caring, affectionate, all these other things. But one day they do something and they've gone from the best person you know to the worst person you know, okay? And this type of thinking where people are in one of two categories at any given moment, it hurts relationships because we get, we have this emotional outrage and these outbursts and we just lash out. But like what's crazy to me and I call it black and white society, right? Because we see this happening all over the internet. So like if you've been keeping up with any of the drama going on with the beauty influencers, but it's also something interesting if you look at like James Gunn or other people who have been taken down by a tweet or some tweets from their past and it just fascinates me. These are people with massive followings, a ton of fans. I love you so much. Thank you for the art that you put out. Thank you for helping me when I'm bored or just want to be entertained or thank you for helping me learn how to apply my makeup or which beauty products are the best. Thank you so much. And then it's like oh you did what? You are the worst person on the planet. Like I still have this sign up right behind me that just says empathy and like this is something that I struggled with for a very long time and I couldn't I didn't have healthy relationships with people. People were either all good or all bad and like it made me very lonely and made me very angry because I was constantly pushing people away because I couldn't see that gray area and like something I just want you to think about is if this is affecting you like how do we get in that gray area and like this empathy like how would I want to be treated? You know what I mean? Like I am more forgiving than most and the reason being is I have a terrible past. If you followed me on my channel for a while or if you're new here and you've been binge watching some of my content you get little bits and pieces of my story and the things I've done to other people and hurt people like I worked really hard to be forgiven. So it's not fair of me to not forgive others. You know what I'm saying? But the reality is is that we need to realize that people are not all good or all bad in most scenarios. Sure there are the outliers, the people who are purely evil but we can't keep classifying people by like specific instances. Good people can do bad things okay? Just because a person did a bad thing does not mean they're a bad person and this is also something like you might be struggling with it with yourself too. You might look at yourself in a black and white way right? You might think that you're all good or all bad. You are not a bad person. Maybe you did a bad thing but you're not a bad person. You know how I know that? Because you feel guilty about it. You feel a little bit of shame okay? If you have a conscience about something you did clearly you're not bad because something inside of you knows that that thing was wrong and the great thing is is like that guilt that is an internal alarm system going off that says you need to do better. You need to be better. So like it breaks my heart just seeing how like there's these like social media mobs that just go after and attack people for stuff they did like we need to give people a chance and I'm not gonna get into a huge rant in this video but like when I see people judging all these apologies and stuff and I know I make videos on how to apologize but I've seen a few apologies lately that seemed pretty legit and I'm just sitting there I was actually talking with my girlfriend today I'm like I wonder what people would have wanted to hear like what would have been satisfactory to them like if there was a checklist of how to apologize what would be on that list maybe that will be a fun experiment down in the comments below because I've been watching and I've seen people do it one way and still get backlash I've seen people do it another way still get backlash I'm sitting I'm like it's just lose lose but in most scenarios we got to speak louder with our actions rather than words and to be honest nobody's gonna be forgiven right away they have to prove with their actions and I really hope you guys are subscribed to my channel because about seven or eight months ago I did a video about Logan Paul after that whole forest incident and I was like yo we gotta see if he's gonna change and I have some thoughts about that we've given him some time and we gotta talk about did he change did he learn something but anyways black and white thinking can really screw up our relationships and like this isn't just about like you freaking out and unfollowing somebody or unsubscribing for somebody it's not that like how is this affecting your relationships with your parents with your friends with your family with your significant other with your children how is it affecting you in those ways like we really gotta start thinking about this stuff and working on our mental health so we can build healthier relationships learn how to forgive people and learn that hey people screw up but you know we need to forgive them for their past and see if they can grow into a better person yeah it sucks that sometimes people have to lose hundreds of thousands of subscribers to really get that kick in the butt but if we don't hit some kind of rock bottom we're never going to change so I'm glad that some of these people are going through these scenarios and I will be keeping track of them to see if they actually learn from this and improve as a person all right but something else I want to talk about down in the comments below do you struggle with black and white thinking let's have a conversation all right but that's all I got for you so if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and if you're new to my channel again feel free to subscribe ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos to help you out with your mental health and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you help me on a daily basis spread a message of hope to people all right so anyways if you want to check out some more content you can click or tap right there that's all I got thanks again for watching get rid of your black and white thinking and I'll see you next time