 Well, welcome, welcome everyone. It's gonna be another spontaneous night. I'm always joyful, but oh my gosh, spending that four and a half hours with Judy Skutch and and wit, I feel like high as a kite. You have to peel me off the the ceiling. These, these are like the founders, you know, they, Judy's one of the original four and then wit, she married William Whitson and and the Deborah Roberts is so devoted with the foundation for inner peace, the copyright holders of the course and they've just lived the life of devotion. I don't know if some of you know the story, but you know in this world everything's about comparison competition and yeah, sometimes they say this is a world of like pairs, everything's in opposites and even relationships are partnerships and the ego has some sayings about that. Two's company, three's a crowd. Three makes it difficult. Well, I think don't think I'm triangles sometimes. Of course, we're out in the Bay Area, so you know we're just broadcasting to the rest of the world, but we're in the Bay Area and they have communes and all kinds of configuration. If the world wants to learn about the possibilities of human relationships, just come live in the Bay Area then you'll really get a chance to see what's going on here. But what I like about them is Judy was married to Bob Skutch and then Jesus actually intervened in a marriage and reconfigured the marriage. So she was guided by spirit to leave her husband and to marry another man and the three of them have worked together for these 38 years that they've been married and before. They're still working together in a joining that's beyond collaboration. It's divinely inspired. You might say Christ is just working through those three as well as all the rest of us, but to me that's very, very inspiring to live a life devoted. Also, they've been together in a world where there's so many changing relationships and people come and go from people's lives. Yeah, these original four and the ones that came after had a cohesiveness that was based on a purpose not of this world. They had to deliver something that would be basically turned into the symbol of the escape hatch from time and space in terms of this planet. And of course the Miracles, again, it's just a book, so it's just a symbol who you are, who you're very being is, is the escape hatch. And sometimes people in Christianity will say, well, Jesus came 2,000 years ago and they've been waiting for for decades and centuries for the second coming of Christ, but you and I, remembering who we are and who our Creator is, is the second coming of Christ. We don't have to wait for someone to come on a white horse and send some to hell and pull some up into the light. It's when we're ready to forgive and see ourselves as the living Christ, then that's the second coming of Christ. It's really remembering our creation, remembering our source. So it's, yeah, it's just just an honor. I feel really honored today. I always feel honored, but after this afternoon, I feel more honored than ever. But here comes more lighting. Yeah, this is good. We're testing it out. It will at least light the roses up. Okay. Even better. It's nice. Oh, look, you have a face. I have a face now. It's a glowing face. A nice golden tint, a golden hue has come over me. So, yeah, I just feel like this evening can be a deep joining and connectedness where we really invite the Holy Spirit to just come and descend on us and have that deep, mystical, sacred feeling of who we are and who we've always been and who we will forever be. That is so glorious and so sublime and really just shines away every sense of ego, familiarity, every sense of the past, every scrap of the past, so that we can meet in this Holy Instant. Is it for the very first time of not knowing anything of anyone based on form or the body, just coming into that transcendent experience, that our mind is a vessel for Christ to shine through a perfect, translucent vehicle for light and love to shine. And we pray that if there's any scrap of fear or doubt or darkness that would block the light, we ask that it be shown to us so that we can voluntarily give it over to spirit. Because that's how the healing occurs when we don't cling to or hold on to or protect the darkness, then the darkness is given over to the light and it just disappears. It's like ignorance coming into wisdom and then the ignorance is gone and only wisdom remains. That's how the awakening occurs. So that's been my prayer, is to be the living presence of Christ. And then it was interesting at the lunch today because at one point Witt and Judy were recalling when they would say, well I asked Bill Thetford one time, how do you know how it's going in the plan of awakening and how how much how well you've done, how much you've accomplished in your part of awakening. And Bill had a beautiful quote from the Course and then they shared that and then they asked me directly, how do you know how how much you've done in terms of fulfilling the part that you're to play and everything. And the thing that just came immediately to my mind was when Jesus starts out a sentence in the Course with the one right use of judgment, because to me it's that's a fascinating way to begin a sentence because Jesus is known for the Sermon on the Mount and most specifically for teaching in the Bible, judge not lest you be judged. So when Jesus Christ starts out a sentence with the one right use of judgment, that gets my attention. That piques my attention. I can't wait to hear what he's going to follow that up with. And in the Course he says the one right use of judgment is the question, how do you feel? So he's saying that we still have this barometer in us that can still tell us how tuned in we are, how aligned we are with spirit. How do you feel? And so I would add this one word at the end of that, how do I feel now? That is telling me how things are going. And if you keep that barometer open and you keep tuned in and you pay attention to that, wow, that's taking us all the way back to the gateway to heaven, that we are responsible for how we feel. And we are being informed and instructed on how to purify our hearts and to live in in joy and peace. And Judy added one word to joy and peace. She said wonder. 84 years old and wonder. And I said like, yeah, that wonder in the terms of awe, feeling awe in the presence of the Creator. Almost like a child like awe, like, oh, how about father, papa, father, you know, oh my God, you know, what can I do to serve you? What can I do to glorify you? How humble that is, how absolutely humble. So, yeah, I just I just love to come and join and connect him with everyone and let the Spirit bring clarity to us, make quick our way. So we hasten unto the kingdom of heaven, that we not delay in time and space, that the Holy Spirit wishes us no delay, that in the attainment of the real world section of the Course, Jesus is saying that the Holy Spirit will will give you everything that you need and will renew it as long as you have need of it. That's your life insurance policy. That's your health insurance policy. That's your economic sustenance. That's your nutrition. That's your safety. That's your security. The Holy Spirit will give you everything that you need in the awakening and will renew it as long as you have need of it. Okay, that's spectacular. There's more, but there's a comment. There's even more. As long as you believe that you're here, but the Holy Spirit would not have you linger in time. So wow, give me everything I need in the awakening, renew it as long as I have need of it, but would not have me delay and linger in time. Which at that last part is important too, will not have me misuse the symbols of time and space to cling to time when my home is eternity. It's even got that fail-safe part of all this divine providence. Divine providence lavished on us, on our mind and no delay and no lingering. Which means that sometimes in our perception of the world, it will seem as if things are being taken away. That's even from the manual for teachers. The stages of the development of trust, one of the stages where it will seem as if things are being taken away, it's not really the case. It's just that our mind is devaluing the things of time and space and certain things we have no longer need of and they disappear from our perception. This can be relationships. It can be houses, cars, children, animals. It can be even our memory. We can pride ourselves and having a good memory. Well, William Whitson was talking about an encounter he had with a dear friend who went into Alzheimer's and he got more childlike and more childlike and then as he kept visiting him he couldn't remember things. He pointed over to his wife and he just said she says she's my wife and he got so childlike that his wife bought him a big sandbox to play in because she was so tuned in and loving to his state of mind and they would play together in the sandbox as they got up in years and then he would take some little things and he would make a little city and he would say this is God City. He called it God City and they did publish, he was Swedish, so they published the Swedish version of The Course in Miracles and he kept that Swedish Course in Miracles near him all the time he carried around with him and then when Whits asked him what's that? What's that that you're carrying and he said it's the voice of God. So he played in the sandbox with God City and he carried his little coursebook around Swedish book around saying it's the voice of God and didn't seem to know much else. Those were the most of the ideas that he could really hold together and it reminded me of my grandmother, Lillian, who was diagnosed with dementia and she was she got happier and happier and happier the farther along she went into the condition. Legally blind, diagnosed with dementia, short-term memories blows out and long-term memory while she remembers the 23rd Psalm, I don't even know the whole 23rd Psalm, she could verbatim go through, the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want, couldn't tell you who she had lunch with, couldn't tell you what happened during the day, but could sing these old Christian hymns of praise to God. She remember every line and every note and every thing of the melody and have the whole nursing home singing along with her. I'd go to visit her and look around the halls or vacant and say, what is it? Where did everyone go? She's there in the cafeteria singing with Lillian. The further she got into her dementia, the more she she got into the presence of love. And sometimes I would even push her around in the nursing home for a while and then she would look at me and love me. She was legally blind, but she would just kind of just flick up at anyone else in her life and then finally sometimes she'd turn, she'd go, Dave, is that you? Just like an instant little flick of a memory or a recognition. So yeah, that really, the more we talk today, I thought, hmm, that's where this is heading, where we get so happy and our seeming skill level and education level and memories of the specifics of this world start to fade and fade and grow dim and disappear and Whit and I were, Whit was saying, yeah, it seems like that's, that's getting close to the happy dream and the real world. I know in my own life, I, I got to a point with the course after I read it eight hours a day and and just immersed in it so much that I would show up in the early course groups, like in the late 1980s, and I would start talking and people would ask a question and all sentences, paragraphs would even come out verbatim from my mouth and also what page number and so on and so forth and people would go, God, you can't possibly be, and then they go, ah, it's it's actually right, you know, they couldn't believe that someone could memorize the course, but there came a point, too, where I remember in Lesson 189, forget this world, forget this course and come with holy empty hands unto your God, where I could feel Jesus was going the other direction, like you don't have to verbatim quote scripture of the Course, you have to be happy, you have to go into joy, you have to move into an experience. That's what I want you to do, not be like some kind of scribe or Pharisee or or, you know, quota, quota of the book. I want you to have an experience. I want you to go beyond the words. So that launched a whole new phase, and I have to say, yeah, I have been having a lot of quiet time in the recent months, and yeah, this is a kind of a rare, quick, spontaneous little tour with Nikita and I shooting through California and doing some speaking, but yeah, when I was down in LA, I had to, oh, talking, that's right, I did exercise the vocal cords a little bit because it's this strange thing, oh, talking, yeah, yeah, I remember that. It has to come back to me. So yeah, that's the beauty of this, I think, is just to be in that real devotional life and and sink more and more into what I call the still mind, just pristine stillness with no yakity yak going on in there, no no committee meeting to try to decide what to do, just given in a very natural way. It seems like not too long ago, I was here in Northern California, and then I had lunch with Sundari and Tam. Tamra, Judy's daughter, who Judy's daughter's age, Tamra's age and the body of David are both the same number years, 58 years old, and I don't know if any of you ever saw those old videos, it's one of the only one that goes way back, the story of A Course in Miracles, but in that one, you know, you have Helen Schuchman and she goes through her vivid dreams and, you know, all these kind of cool all and you know, the inner voice saying, this is A Course in Miracles, please take notes and everything, but there's some scenes over about, like a cave over in the Israel, what we would call Israel, or Galilee, in which she goes into a cave and some of you remember the clearing off the giving the scrolls, the gold-tipped scrolls, and then opening up the scrolls and little tiny letters appearing inside the scroll and then the voice inside of Helen's mind saying, you know, if you roll it to the left, you can read the past and if you roll it to the right, you can read the future and Helen going, no, I'm not interested in that and she just rolls the scrolls back with all the tiny little letters and there's only two words that are left in the center of these scrolls, God is and she rolls back and she's content with God is not knowing the future or the past and then the voice inside says, good, you made it this time and that was one of the preliminary experiences that Helen had before she began taking down, this is A Course in Miracles, please take notes so but in that cute little story of A Course in Miracles, there was a scene where also where she was going down a little stream in a boat, some of you remember and was wearing like a hood, kind of a gown of the hood and then she's streaming a buried treasure and she says, I wonder if there's buried treasure underneath so she gets a like a little pole thing and she reaches down and she pulls up a trunk into the boat and and I think she opens it up and there's a book in it and it has Esculapius which is I think the Greek god of healing, it's the name of the book forecasting again that she would have something to do with a book on healing using symbology of the world but at some point I was I was wondering I said, how did you make that movie? I think I had asked her some other time during lunchtime with her back around 12 years ago. I had lunch with her a few times and and she said that was my daughter Tamra. We dressed her up and we put on, she was probably a teenager that's her, that dates the body of David. I was a teenager back at that same, we're both the same age imagine being a teenager and and having Helen Shuckman hanging around you and your mother about this book A Course in Miracles and growing up in that home what a teenage years, you know, to grow up in very exciting so I was very happy when Sundari said we're going to go over and meet Tam and Kirsten and I went with Sundari, I'm just absolutely delightful in the field of deep connection with her, you know, she's just oh it's so cool out here in California, you have so many cool people, she's like oh she's giving me a tour of her little place, she said oh and here's her spare bedroom David you can come and stay here whenever you want oh it's just so adorable, you know that's that's and she's going to be taking over the foundation as Judy and Whit, her and Bob Rosenthal Bob's going to move out to the area so the beat goes on, I said well we're going to collaborate with you and join with you and in honor and respect for all those that have been before us that come before us to bring this beautiful scripture from Jesus into our lives, it's so practical that we can practice in our lives every day of the year and we can do it without interrupting our regular activities in any way just by tuning in to these beautiful lessons that are so impactful and can be transferred so effectively to clear our minds like a meditation program from Jesus, it's like a guided meditation program, instructions, daily lessons, amazing, absolutely amazing so tonight I just want to join with everybody and I am fully available and open for any questions, I had so much fun with Judy today because I my buddy Gary Renard, I saw him on a recent Bat Gap program, Buddha at the gas pub, at the very end of the talk he said something like Helen Shuckman is back in this lifetime and she will experience enlightenment and so I had to ask Judy about that and just got an amazing context to the whole thing and a full-blown answer from her what she thought about that including the context of well reincarnation is just a symbol and really we don't have lives so to speak that we're here just watching symbols dreaming that we're apart from God and really we're reviewing what has already gone by this world's over and done and we're just reviewing the past and thinking it's still going on so there's a time issue underneath everything and we're here to undo that time issue and that's one of the deepest experiences that we have it's one of the you might say that's like the pool of of a backdrop that seemed to be assumed as real for the human being but actually that itself is is part of a an opportunity to forgive and to come back to the holy instant and we did have some interesting discussions about the simultaneity of time I love that that's where Judy and Whit are that's the kind of discussions they're having about time being simultaneous 84 and 87 years old and that's sharp as a tack both of them the memories the clarity that just come the experiences just come pouring out and rushing out and and that's uh that's kind of at the bottom of it all letting go of that so I'm here I open myself up just so happy to be here with all of you and see dear friends and new friends here and yeah I'm open to talk about any topics or curiosities or issues you have going on in your life that you think you'd like a little more clarity on anything that could be truly helpful well it's kind of interesting because I I don't really there were times in my life where I would wake up and write them down and this and this but I I don't really have an awareness of that uh other than that sense that that Jesus says you're dreaming all the time so he's implying you're dreaming at night you're dreaming a day and he doesn't even make distinctions between nighttime dreams and daydreaming or what we would call daily life but um so in the sense that that I'm perceiving a room full of people yes I do dream if you're kind of meaning nighttime dreams what seems to happen is that when people live with me or are around me I don't seem to have any dreams or anything to talk about of the sort at all but they their nighttime dreams are stirred up big time when people are around me so I just was in southern California and the man down there Chris who introduced the whole little tribe down there to me on youtube um he came over for a weekend retreat and he was out in the tent and walking in a whoa those were some major intense nighttime dreams and he said I'm so glad when I woke up that those weren't real they were so intense so I don't really you know have an experience of dreaming nighttime dreams at all but the people around me seem to it flushes up all kinds of things into their awareness and then we were laughing because he was saying yeah I know my I control things so much during my daytime dreams that the unconscious just wildly pops out at night and I think a lot of people have that experience you know fairly things under control during the day and yet if there's unconscious wishes and desires Freud had that part right dreams are wish fulfillment so if the ego can't fulfill its fantasies during the daytime it will do it at night and many people report flying dreams and tell me amazing nighttime dreams it just that are all kind of their mind exploring things and they're just kind of noticing um the elements that are coming up during those nighttime dreams so usually I just kind of there to offer some some hints or maybe even some suggestions or advice on those themes when they tell them to me but yeah mine seems to be a pretty blank a blank slate yeah that's pretty that's what I thought because a friend of mine spent a month in ballet with a teacher and he was pretty aware and awakened but he basically said you know one thing that tells him that he's not like fully free is that he still he was still dreaming he's still dreaming and he said he hadn't met many teachers who they're waking and sleeping state is the same there's no difference then they don't have dreams anymore so I just thought I should ask David yeah that's a good question I don't think anyone's asked me that before so David I have a question about like psychic phenomena experiences because I know what the course teaches is if I'm experiencing psychic phenomena then it's just my own thoughts and I know that you as a teacher of the course you know teach exactly the same thing but I feel like it's like radically different from what I believe because like my previous spiritual practice you know it's all about like psychic phenomena and psychic experiences and being you know being affected by other people or situations so it's like I guess you know the course is thought system is something that I want to believe but I still have some investment in like the external world and I feel there's still like a cause in the world from my state of mind so it's kind of strange that I've studied the course for a long time but I still feel resistance to the thought system so I don't know. Yeah I do meet a lot of people that have a wide variety of psychic phenomena and it varies in intensity and just when I was in Southern California the mother of my host was saying yeah she she has a lot of psychic phenomena that's part of her life and part of her profession and so forth and she was wondering is this good or not good or what's the course they have to say about this and I said well it's it's not so much about the psychic phenomenon per se but it's the purpose like what is the purpose underneath it like for example with fortune telling or past life regression or psychic phenomenon like remote viewing and there's just so many psychokinesis and so on and so forth, premonitions and on and on, is it being used by the ego to reinforce a bodily identity a personality identity or is it being used to heal and to bless just coming in as an occasional inspiration like doing a reading for somebody that's that really helps them kind of see something that's blocking the way in their mind or something the reading that comes in somehow gives hope or inspiration to someone when they're in a period of depression or despair so the use of the psychic phenomenon is the most important thing and that's what I was talking to this woman about because the mind is so easy to get preoccupied with the things and that's one of the things that Judy and Whit were talking with me about about reincarnation how even reincarnation Judy was saying she has some friends and they say they were part of the founding forefathers of the United States and they meet every so often to talk about these things and everything but it's if it's about the past and somehow feeling special or feeling different or unique or different from everybody else then the ego is actually using these psychic phenomenon to keep the mind locked in a body identity and locked in a personality instead of seeing oh my gosh everything's for the whole it's just one mind awakening and if you actually counsel somebody and help somebody using these psychic phenomenon then it's such a blessing or like I always think of the Dionne Warwick psychic hotline you know if if it becomes a business you know I mean even psychic readings could become a profession and a career a career for who for the personality you see spirit doesn't have a career so spirit would be using all of these psychic phenomena to take you away from a personal mask or a personality and the ego says oh no you can be a famous psychic or a famous magician or a famous whatever even a famous miracle worker the ego would want you to draw attention to a personality self a famous teacher you know it's always trying to use fame to hold on to that mask that personality self and the holy spirit is so humble that it's more like the bible says you know the holy spirit is like the wind no one knows where the wind comes from or where it goes it's the holy spirit is like the core principle of alcoholics anonymous and 12 steps is anonymous that's why they call it alcoholics anonymous not alcoholics famous healer or alcoholics famous sponsor you know it's alcoholics anonymous because the spirit doesn't have a body identity and it's wanting us to remember that yes today it was very interesting to me when we were talking about bringing the darkness to the light and there are certain situations where like expression sessions are speaking one's truth where it's obvious to me what that means rather than keeping things hidden and then there's situations that are not so clear like I was talking about this decoding philosophy of finding the causative thought behind each disease and this process of decoding having manual and I couldn't see then about how which way was bringing the darkness to the light and the bigger I don't know why this is all together but there the big thing that's up for me right now is I have a son who's always lived with me and and it's like I can feel his desire to be free and independent and the kind of terror and paralysis behind taking those steps and also being comfortable and I feel it worked for a while you know we would sort of work the chores and work the stuff and maybe about a couple years ago it got to where he's angry about it and it's directed at me and so the household doesn't feel as peaceful and I think that's his own frustration and there's a place that he'd like to go that I have the ranch I have but then there's a renter with a sick wife and we're sort of in paralysis about that and so the way that relates to the other question is I've put it in my little god can you know the little box that's god can and so I stick it in there to remember that god can and I um I just keep sticking in there to remind me that god can and so I've done this for years and years and gotten to the point of course I kick him out and get with mom and I should and waiting for guidance and waiting for guidance and waiting for guidance and it just not being clear and you know on and on and on and on and so I feel that's sort of the process of bringing to the light and yet the peace of it's it's an uncomfortable ongoing solution where everything feels stuck in it and so I guess I'm looking for the way to bring that to the light in a more effective way to bring peace to my son and peace to the household either together or apart or whatever way the story supposed to unfold yeah well it's great because you've been you know hosting us here and and to the monastery and you know you see the value of the the two guidelines no people pleasing no private thoughts you've been involved here and nearby and locally in amazing expression sessions and seeing the value of that now it's just time to like the old lighthouse let the light spin around and touch every aspect of your life including your son so those good old heart to heart expression sessions if there's a stuckness then there's some fear under the surface that's still is being held on to and it could be the fear of of letting go of a son even you know the the good mother concept and you know you've talked about that even with your daughter that's something that has been coming in for you and coming in and you've had this yeah that that aspect of it resolved itself and now you just want the light to gently sweep around to all of your mind like a lighthouse in the night how it just sweeps around the light goes 360 it's just that the light sweep across our mind with no interference with no resistance or not hiding holding anything a little corral apart from the light that we were talking about you don't want to protect anything you would give all to the Holy Spirit so I think just that heart to heart joining of I'm sure David has his aspirations his interests yeah I already have had some of his pumpkin pancakes or sweet potato pancakes that was right pumpkin pancakes was south in southern California and so I've had blueberry pancakes on this trip it's such a short trip blueberry pancakes pumpkin and sweet potato pancakes Holy Spirit's like I don't know giving me pancakes everywhere but it was delicious they were absolutely delicious you know I'm having a pancake fest on this trip to California but but they had a heart to heart talk about what's some of the aspirations because if you're if there's some anger or resentment and you're feeling it telepathically you're tuning into it and the course is basically saying it's all one mind so I'm responsible for what I see what I perceive I choose the feelings I experience and I decide upon the goal I would achieve and everything that seems to happen to me I ask for and receive as I've asked so you can see well even if I perceive that there's some resistance or anger with my son in my house then it's like oh then there's something in my perceptual world where there is some anger coming up and so I would say there's definitely some some protectionism and some people pleasing going on and it's always in our mind around certain concepts like like we have we have a we hold on to a concept and then we've got all these duties and obligations and responsibilities that are tied and wound into these concepts and the Spirit's like bring them up let them come up let's look at them together and then they'll dissolve and that's how the process works bringing the darkness to the light bringing the concepts to the light and they just kind of just completely dissolve as we offer them over so it would be like I think a loving thing to do with like what seems to be an adult child in the house would be to sit down with a good old loving heart to heart and and pray and say how can I help you how can I assist you you know some families throughout the ages have done it in different ways sometimes they put money away for a college fund or they'll have the trust fund where they'll they'll say I'll support you to a to a point and you all those kind of things you know are a little all they are are like steps but the key point is the joining it's like the joining and the praying together and the listening saying tell me what is it that you feel because if there's any kind of fear of going out or if he has expressed like this other property that you have we've talked about a number of times and everything even if there's some pleasing going on around the the family that's there it's still it's this thing of what will serve the whole you know it's if you have this thing like I can't put them out as if like you personally can say it's time to vacate and that you are the the bad one or the the bad guy in the in the whole thing you know it's it's more of like well what serves the whole and it can be again through the joining and the prayer like you said maybe both of you have joined and both of you feel pressured by by that you know like I don't want to do that and you know those are the kind of decisions that the spirit has us really honestly look at because the spirit's task is to unwind us from guilt and as long as there's guilt around anything in this world there's always beliefs and letting some people down hurting people's feelings and so on and so forth and the way showers Jesus he he definitely didn't seem to interested or concerned about hurting anybody's feelings I mean during those three years of public ministry it just seems like the more he let that gentle presence but uncompromising presence come through him the angrier the people got around him until after three years it was an angry mob some of us have seen the Jesus of Nazareth movie where you've got this whole mob there for three years screaming crucify him crucify them they were furious and he was so gentle and meek and and yet his teachings were so otherworldly I have a feeling even Mary Joseph any kind of biological family relatives were if you imagine if somebody in your own family started saying before Abraham was I am and I am the father or one imagined with your brothers and sisters if it or husband's wife imagine if you're if bill started came home and gee I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father except through me you know imagine it's going to stir things up for human beings no matter who's saying it just imagine in your own family so there's a divinity in us that that wants to express that is sure of its identity that is sure of its source and and we're all called to reach that place of certainty through many miracles you know many many miracles of course we're I always tell people you're a saint in training they like that they go they hear the first word they go in training okay that sounds pretty good actually saint in training but really when you think you're a saint in training and so is David I mean we're here for the most holy purpose ever and to come together and say okay how can I support you in taking those steps where you can go for something that you really can put your heart and soul in something that really inspires you how can I support that even if it's would be him going out and living on the land you know I think if that's something that he's kind of drawn to it's something that I think needs careful prayer and consideration because it is available there's no doubt it's just sometimes the ego will throw guilt in to try to say oh it's not really available but it it actually is available and I feel like there's a there's a big trust with that that we don't really have the power to hurt other people's feelings we just have the power to tune into the source and say you lead the way you show me and I will follow so a lot of decisions that I seem to make in the parable of David it's a lot of decisions that I would say we're not really popular especially as I got deeper and deeper in with it popular initially with with parents or my sister or friends I mean as I've gone deeper I've even had course of miracle friends over the years which I thought this is my tribe but as I go radically into divine providence and trust radically into make no compromises you know decide everything for the whole for the good of the whole then sometimes even what seems to be friendships even course of miracle friendships can can fall to the wayside it helped me to read that in lesson 76 I am under no laws but gods where he started Jesus starts rattling off the laws of economics you know the laws of nutrition and and he's going through all these laws and then he says the laws of friendship are part of the ego friendship that's really interesting because it's associations you know how some of our friendships are clearly based in the past you know whether it's genetics and dna or whether it's high school the reunions that we went to or buddies and friends and girls that we've known for all these years look what happens on facebook when you start waking up you know you start posting things you start putting things out you're all fired up and inspired yeah yeah oh this is good you're good and some of those past associations just come and bite you on the rear end just like you know I was like no I don't want to hear that what are you doing what's gotten into you I'm into love and joy since when who are you you know a friend of mine right now is is pondering you know starting a new facebook profile because there's been so many radical shifts that it's almost like you know she just it's almost like wanting to share to the whole world holly holly and come free hey we're all innocent come on let's all be innocent I'll be innocent with you and then that's just a doubt thought showing up as a facebook message that has to be one's own doubt thought it can't be that there's anybody out there that's a doubting Thomas it has to be you have to start to see oh my gosh I still have a doubt thought if it's being acted out and I'm reacting to it then that's something that's a forgiveness lesson so I feel like it's it's a joyful opportunity there and and just a symbol that all the miracles you've gone through with your daughter is almost like building the momentum like oh here you go you're you've got a lot of joy to extend and there's no exceptions to that joy and therefore you do want your whole life your mind your space the reflections around you to all reflect exuberant joy and and otherwise it can it can start to feel again like a compromise like there's a part of your mind going really really anger really like am I still what would I what do I still have any value for anger you know it's you know it there's that part of the mind it's just like I can't I can't hardly believe it still I have value anger what you know yeah so you're just on the cusp you feel your tethers it's like those old Thanksgiving parades with the big floats maybe they you know you're the little tethers those little steel cores that hold that hold the big balloons to the gravity of earth you know you've just got your little steel cutters out you're ready for the balloons to take off and it's just one or two steel cords you know and it's blowing in the wind that's that can be disturbing because you you know you're just like a a snip away from from soaring you know snip that cord you know whatever it is yeah I pray for that for you to your joy your fulfillment your happiness let's say I want to talk about special relationships turning them into a holy relationship well we've had this special relationship next month it'll be 50 years oh yeah and it's changed a lot from when we first got married then right now let's see I'm still very much identified with the body I still have this body body identification and Christine is way ahead of me she does and she doesn't have the same bodily identification that I do and this can cause some problems you can imagine all kinds of ways I know that the Course says that the Holy Spirit can use our relationship to turn it into a holy relationship but right now I just I just I'm dragging my feet I'm so reluctant I don't want to give up the things that I like about the physical and you know just life as I see it and understand it and she's not that way and we there's no compromise and so there's conflict um you know we do the lesson every day we do our daily lessons we read and we go to course meetings on Monday night and and and and she corrects me all the time so I know there's no simple there's no simple answer but all that wisdom in your house is now you're married to Yoda it started off as Christine now it's wise Yoda where she's actually so it's the special relationship problem getting beyond that well it's interesting you know when we sometimes talk about relationships and we identify even characters characters or characteristics you know specialness and I've been talking a lot about that in this little tour through California in the sense that I was sharing last night that sometimes people say well I've been reading the Course for years and Jesus is telling me about specialness and it's of the ego so I'm through with special relationships I'm never I'm never going to get in another special relationship but it's it would be like a fish thing I'm through with water uh people don't understand the full extent I mean the nuances of specialness just believing that there are separate people even um is is specialness the nuances of believing a glass is a glass a candle is a candle that's special um I was did a talk recently and um somebody was commenting on on this YouTube and and violence and violence in the media and everything like this and um like how how can I deal with all this violence in the media and I said thinking an apple is an apple is violent and there can you explain that and again I've been talking a lot about how when we try to pull apart from the whole imagine your mind in its quantum or forgiven state just comprehends uh beholds the whole as whole it doesn't try to pull apart a thread out of the tapestry it doesn't try to pull anything apart there's some great lessons like one of these three one of these four where Jesus describes all these dynamics you know how you live by symbols and you've given everything a name and and he's talking about how its fragmentation is the problem it's not that any specific symbols are problem it's just that the belief that there are specific symbols had it been given meaning we our mind needs to go through the rinse cycle and that's what the workbook's for nothing I see means anything okay rinse okay here we go just rinse and rinse rinse me clean purify my heart take me back to to christ's vision to wholeness to abstraction take me back into the light you know I want to go back to the light I want to go back to heaven nirvana so in one sense it's almost like you're you're seeing something and you're labeling it and then seeing that that this this happens in relationships where one seems to be reflecting opening up faster than another and everybody knows that even about relationships when when you're in long-term relationships and then there's these nuances it happens a lot where one seems to open up and the other seems to be want to going maybe even in a different pace your opening too but maybe the pace of your opening is there and so you need to come back to okay it's the holy spirit's use of specialness the ego is the specialness the the ego made the cosmos the ego made all the images and so the holy spirit has to use it and that really gets back to guidance like how willing am I to open up to guidance and and really connect with with the the holy spirit because that's really the core issue it's not so much a horizontal issue between david and christine it's it's a vertical issue to the extent that i'm like whoa whoa whoa slow it down and and hold on there a bit then that puts a that's the block because the holy spirit as i said wills no delay would not have the mind linger in time and so when you start to take it back that way then it's like oh yeah i need to let the resistance rise up in awareness i need to whatever fears i have even the fear of loss or the fear of sacrifice which it can be if there's things like in the world that still seem valuable then there's a fear of sacrifice and that means there's a belief in sacrifice that's underneath there and the holy spirit is wanting to rinse that and wash that so when i've had i mean years ago i had a student who she got into a course of miracles and the more she practiced the course of miracles she was in the yoga and but the more she practiced the course her sex drive started to to go away her libido started to shrink and her husband wasn't in the course and he was more orthodox orthodox jew and uh expectations you know and so this is they would come right to me they would just say we need help here we got some major conflict going on in our marriage and so i would they both loved me and respected me so i would go and i would sit down with them and you know he would he was a dentist and orthodox jew and he said you know this is my wife david you know this is my sexual partner and of course i have expectations uh at least i want to have sex two days a week uh at minimum two or three times a week and because of my schedule with dentistry you know it has to be like tuesday afternoon and thursday night and so you know this is great this is the kind of stuff that i'm like good i'm like in the matrix like let's hear it give it it doesn't matter say it don't censor it at all there and he would you know there was like two or three times a week and and when it needed to be and everything and his his wife's just sitting there watching him you know during the whole thing it's like go have your turn and then soon she comes in and she just goes listen you know i don't know what's going on but i don't have such a sex drive and this and this and yes i know i'm your wife but you know i just don't feel it i mean i'm i'm my mind's opening i'm getting into all kinds of things and she said on i value spontaneity i value spontaneity i can't fit into a schedule i can't have my my declining sex drive scheduled into the days of the week i you know and but see this is this is what you need to have this is the kind of talks that people need to have it's like good this is really good let's hear it you know and she gave the whole thing so then after they both had talked i said okay let's just pray on this and i said you know you still feel like a love a deep love and connection yes yes we do we still feel the love and you still want to be yes we still want we want to be with each other in this so then it's like well then let's pray and then start talking and so i think at the end of that session it was more that she was like saying you know i can i be spontaneous with this and and he was opening saying okay i see i need to i need to open here to be more spontaneous um you know he was seeing and i'm willing to do that he said and and again you know you just pray and then you let it come out and then you let the chips fall because because there's a love underneath and as i was sharing earlier there's judy and wit you know they've been married 38 years but she was married to bob prior to that and i think he had a couple of marriages too but it's been for a higher purpose um and very dear watching those two today and she's called him my honey and you know it is all you know it's 84 and 87 and it's beautiful but but there has to be an underlying purpose and that there takes it it's like a self honesty with it too and that's you know you're going through that christine's going through that it's like a self honesty with spirit because nobody can go through the motions we can't we have to be authentic we have to be authentic we can't we can't play games with ourselves you know if we start to feel certain things as things start to shift in our perception it's important for us to be very transparent about those the ego is so afraid of loss or so afraid of rejection that the ego wants to keep aspects of the mind very private uh and jesus even told helen schuckman and bill setford that they've just they've both chosen like life partners to avoid intimacy how's that for choosing partners to avoid intimacy you know that's quite insightful but he was saying no you you picked partners that that would be reflections of avoiding reaching that deeper love and deeper intimacy so it you can say wow i'm we do share a purpose we do things together whether it's listening to the talks that i give or reading the course or sharing miracle inspirations and so on and so forth and it's more coming back to to that focal point like what is it that we share what is it that that we share that can be expanded instead of coming around from the negative which is how the ego sees it like oh god christ now what am i gonna give up next christ you know it's not easy you know how hard it can be the way things are going they're gonna crucify me uh john lennon you know i mean you know he the beatles could definitely put these emotions into songs that we could relate to and and that's the way it is from the ego's perspective it just feels like oh god what am i gonna have to give up next because it's it just perceives that things are being taken away from it that it likes that it enjoys actually it's a rinsing and a washing of the mind becoming what the mind truly wants mind truly wants deep intimacy deep love a sense of freedom a sense of purpose fulfillment contentment that's of course the mind wants all of that that's what we were given in creation and if we forgot it we want it back we want it back we want that we want all of it back in our awareness and that's what's going on that's the deeper prayer and then the ego is just preceding all of that as like a big sacrifice because it made this world as a substitute for heaven and then it became very familiar and accustomed that's the sneakiest of all defenses when we become familiar with the past and we think the past is our friend like a cuddly bear like a very fuzzy creature i remember an old jack jones song does anybody ever remember jack jones he was a singer he had a song i've grown accustomed to her face she almost makes the day begin you know it's a real familiar kind of you know it's very all the subtleties of that that's why people get so bent out of shape when someone dies they're so accustomed to those conversations they're accustomed to touch they're accustomed to being held that's the hardest part when we have the death of a sibling or a death of a child or a parent it's the touch i'll never see that face again with that smile i'll never be able to touch that i'll never have that embrace again the ego is going through a time of withdrawal and a time of loss a grief that's what we that's our word for it but it's grieving the familiar and meanwhile the christ is right there saying come turn your turn your gaze up to me your spouse hasn't gone anywhere your whether it's even a cat a pet you know there can be a grief like no the cat hasn't gone anywhere the dog hasn't gone anywhere i'm here for you i'm still communicating with you communications unbroken and so you know we're just getting to those those subtleties right now that's what it's really coming down to david that our unwind your mind group last uh last saturday night um i forget what page is on 300 some um this person was talking to you about oh sometimes uh i really feel in the spirit and when i do the lessons and so on and other times it's you know back in ego and you use the metaphor of it's like the ego's like a train that you want to get on and i just i just realized how how really apropos that that that metaphor is because getting an ego it's like comfort you know there's no effort involved you just go go that way you know you don't have to decide anything you just go that way as opposed to if you're going by yourself you got to make all your own decisions and and face everything yourself so i just wanted to compliment you on that metaphor on that metaphor the train of comfort yeah the ego that's what it is yeah yeah it seems you can see much less challenging to just hop on the train and sit in the seat and just go and it's going to go where it goes whereas the spontaneity of kind of just being dropped in an area where it's just you there and what do i do next and and this and this is scary to the ego because it wants it has its own definitions of safety and security and spontaneity is not not one of those definitions thank you for raising that those are all those are the subtleties you're facing it yeah i have a question um i do this one practice where i'll sit for about five minutes or so and just ask myself is this a dream am i dreaming and i'll just sit there and watch and most of the time i have a very clear sense that this is all a dream it's just a sort of like it's sort of like a sense of this fuzziness that just sort of i'm not this body sitting here i'm just sort of behind behind me just sort of watching this whole thing and so i've gotten more clear that this whole everything is a dream and yeah i'm not sure how to proceed with this or what it's not scary or anything but just not sure how to what to do with this yeah it sounds like quite an interesting practice um because it's it's like if you can feel that with with a lot of seeming situations and then it's more like that lighthouse thing i was talking about letting it sweep um that that can be like almost like a mantra that from time to time you just it's almost like checking in and what what's on the screen here is this a dream because there's lots of movies that that are part of my movie watchers guide to enlightenment that are that's a that's a common thing of of really being a how can i discern that it's a dream or even how can i remember if i become aware of the idea that it's a dream how can i stay consistently aware that i'm dreaming in inception they had these little kind of totems um the little totem that's how the movie ends you know as the totem is spinning which i thought was a spectacular ending to the movie like even after they seem to come to this place of of freedom and and they all looking into each other's eyes at the airport in this sense of recognition welcome home Mr. Cobb and all this and this then i loved it that the the totem was spinning at the end because it was like and even the happy dream is still a dream it's just been purified of its hatred purified of its competition and guilt and it's still a dream so there's another movie that's a great movie called waking life uh like an animated one and um that's a theme in the movie is like how do i remember how am i aware that i'm dreaming um there's little signs and and clues and this is an important issue because there's one part of A Course in Miracles where Jesus actually comes straight out and says that awareness of dreaming is the function of God's teachers he actually comes straight out and says it you know a lot of times it's forgiveness and tonement and miracle but he comes right out and says awareness of dreaming is the function of God's teachers so i think it's a really good practice and then especially if if you start to feel your heart beating or there's a situation that seems to have uh some intense emotion with it that's that's almost the perfect time to insert the question hmm am i dreaming yeah i'd say there's a really spectacular movie there's a trilogy just so we know about the matrix trilogy and this and this there's the divergent series and the second one the first one we start to see the main character you know into some pretty extreme conditions where she's being tested for fear and the way she gets out of it and nobody can understand how she can get out of the the seeming fearful situation so quickly but she just gets into like a glass container that she can't get out of or she's sinking into some some mud or something in the birds are attacking her and so on and so forth it's this isn't real which is another version of i'm only dreaming and and then no one else they're all pondering in the beginning divergent and then of course that that will come up when she has to face her fears in the second of the series and then of course this coming march we get to see the the third in the series but it's an amazing series for teaching that very thing that you're talking about yes i've been reading unwind your mind with the group and i was raised christian and we were taught to push down your emotions push everything down look look good and so what i really appreciate about your book is that you say you know when the emotions come up don't push them down allow them to come up um and some difficult emotions have been coming up and um the strongest one that seems to not be letting out is is real self-hatred like real self-hatred and a hardness like i feel a real hardness towards myself i i find that i'm not taking good care of myself sometimes when i can take much better care of other people than i do myself and i know that underneath all that is this intense self-hatred and it seems to be more apparent and it's been around for a long time now and i'm just sort of wondering if you have any ideas about that because i sort of want this one to kind of pass and it's not it's not it's a relief to let the emotions come up and to allow them to be it's it is a huge relief rather than judging it pushing it down but this is pretty this is pretty challenging and uh i don't really want to be around other people very much i'm i'm almost i don't know there's a way in which i'm almost a recluse right now and it's it's challenging well it's interesting you know when you were just sharing it's interesting you know what you grew up and you in this society you watch all this tv we're in the tv generation and all the commercials thousands that i've watched and i'm and you're talking i've got the jingle from from an ancient commercial going into my mind um which i don't know could be turned into a ringtone or something on your phone be be good to yourself it's important to do so be good to yourself there's only one you and it was playing in my mind when you're asking the question oh that's that's cute i mean i never especially the ending there's only one you oh my god that's so metaphysical uh but but that's the lightness of the spirit you know imagine turning that into a ringtone so that every time someone calls you there's this you're being serenaded if there's only one you be good to yourself you know we we have to start to turn the tables on the ego we need to be playful we need to have reminders um i had one friend from england who was so such a high state of mind and at one point when she went back to her mobile home where she lived her trailer she started getting these like posted notes the little posted notes and there was one phase she went through where she just put one word all over her her stove her counter i mean her her just stuck all over the place posted notes aware just reminding her like in her own word to stay aware stay aware don't sleepwalk don't or don't push things down stay aware i think um i just recently showed a mini movie down in uh to pankin canyon i showed the mini movie of 51st states where drew berymore has a memory problem from an accident of seemingly hitting a a tree you know in a vehicle and having brain damage and so on and so forth and and adab sandler plays the guy who sees her in the little breakfast shack and and starts to fall in love with her and and then it's told by her father you know that she has this condition he's actually she's actually told that by the the lady that works at the the breakfast shack and he first can't believe it he says what do you mean she's got a a memory condition this is some kind of a crazy story that i tell women to to throw them off to to get rid of them and they're telling me this is the truth but eventually he ends up making a a video that kind of reminds her of of the accident brings it all back it was pushed out of awareness brings it back into awareness including the context of those around her her brother her father himself others that love her um it's part of a retraining of the mind i loved that he he made a video for her to reorient her mind and the courses that's what the mind training of the course is really reorienting the mind but we need to allow ourselves to be flowing and creative to bring aspects and things from the world symbols into our life that will help us during those times of self-hatred self-doubt fear coming up we we need tools we need reminders we need consistent reminders my prayer to the holy spirit was always you know just flood my mind with with reminders of love and light like like this is a big turn and jesus does say in the course is still you get in touch with the extent of your own self-hatred you will not be willing to let it go that's what's happening you're just getting in touch with the full extent of self-hatred it's probably one of the most unpleasant periods of the of the awakening process defenses self-criticism that were kind of pushed out of awareness and the mind was into distracting like you said appearances distracting distracting now when you first let them up into awareness the judgment the self-criticism is enormous like i can't believe i'm doing this to myself or over time i can't believe i've done this to myself for so many years you know ego just wants the mind to wallow and get stuck into self-judgment and criticism when really these are just defense mechanisms that have been unconscious that are now becoming conscious and that's the first step in letting them go is letting them into awareness so you're actually benefiting and gaining so the ego's actually using the using all this new knowledge yes it's it's it's hijacking the new knowledge to build a case against you to build a case for guilt to build a case for pain almost to build a case for punishment which is which is sponsoring that idea yeah i feel that yeah yeah and that's where you have to start to say hmm i'm on to you here i i see that you're trying to take everything that i'm going through and just use it as fuel against me against you a fuel to keep you trapped instead of to free you and release you and initially Drew Barrymer when she was first told about what happened the father and the brother were doing protectionism to the max you know painting the wall and giving her colored paints to paint new things fake newspaper of the same day they were doing the groundhog day thing except they were part they were doing it to her because they didn't think she could handle what was underneath the truth of it and therefore they were doing it to themselves they were adapting to her problem and watching the same football game on videotape over and over the minnesota vikings the same scenes watching the same movie that movie was the one six cents over and over and over where she's like hi was so surprised it was a ghost and over there yeah yeah yeah it's like imagine watching the same movie over and over and over painting the same wall white over the colors filling the soap and and you know pineapple it froze in a whole case it froze the pineapples and it's a lot of work my gosh the maintenance to that we do when we adapt to illusions and that's the same kind of people pleasing that everyone knows goes on in relationships you know it's like oh yeah honey i i don't want to rock the boat and what can i do for you and this and this and this and then the pattern just goes on and on and on and on and then the resentment starts to build up like okay maybe like you start off okay i'll give you foot rubs and then foot rubs and then after a while you don't like foot rubs you start to feel resentful for for something the very thought of it this should the socks come off oh god again i have to you know it's you know it these are these rituals that human beings get into and what's the contrary to the ritual well i oh my god they could just say get out you're not going to give me foot rubs anymore you have no use to me out the door you know and it could be the same we know it could be the same with sexuality it could be the same with anything one one in the partner is the breadwinner bring them the bread bring them the money and then it comes to the point you know i don't want to work anymore i don't want to what that's your role i spend the money you earn the money what do you mean not gonna nope i'm cashing in my chips i'm quitting my job and everything what what about our lifestyle oh i'm i don't want to work anymore you work oh god don't say that word work me no i don't i spend the money you you earn the money i spent you know it's you know it's just these roles get so set and then there's a certain that's what sundar is going through with with david at her home you know you're the mom he's playing the son you've got the money he doesn't you've got the house he doesn't you say it's my house it's my way or the highway so you play like the ogre and he plays the the victim and and and then and then at some point it's like we gotta shake this you know it's like this is we gotta do it you know even for one day if you switched you just you should try to where he says and by the way get me this and do this and this is another here take my shoes off for me and isn't it for just for one day you you know like they can please switch it back you know but though we have movies that's what you know like eddie murphy trading places then actually yeah yeah yeah but there's these there's these unholy alliances that are what are the unholy alliances build out about expectations oh they're like caked in with expectations and and heaven forbid you violate the expectation then there's a war going to go on like you know and and i mean i just bet so many people and so many families and and i guess the spirit kind of uses me as a as a activator of like let's get underneath this to the to the hurt and the pain that's underneath of reenacting these rituals you know to to keep the status quo i used that in one of my talks and then the key was like she called me up status quo i heard you say status quo i'm having you that was like the the words that triggered something for you right you had something you knew there was something it was not so much and then again like so next two nights i spent sleepless nights and it was like and i was like keep status quo you know maybe it's helpful hey i mean maybe something that you spent it's actually helpful what do i know anymore and then it just i and then at some point it was almost like a breakdown it's like i have no choice i've been hearing for two years or like i don't know how long it's been almost like two years like i have to let go status quo and it's like it's not a choice it's like it's like it's almost weird it was like do you tell me do you think you can't actually keep it and i was like i was at a point where i can't like i just can't like and so i called it i was like what is this status quo and i know like i can't i have to let it go but i don't even know what it is so and let alone how to let it go and so but i know there's something that is not helpful and it's like i can't like it has to it has to go and like it has to go and there's some fear that it's like it has to be harsh and and so like i just like i have no choice that's what david explained yeah yeah letting go of the familiar yeah because the familiar you know to the ego is it's push the definition of comfort and security led to the ego the status quo whatever it seems to be which is a set of concepts and a set of perceptions you know that is comfortable and familiar and secure and safe and then in the ego's perception the holy spirit is very scary because that is something that was going to shine away the status quo it's going to shine away the past it's going to shine away the familiar and it seems like all of us sooner or later we start to get an idea like oh my gosh this is not a course of miracles of learning anything this is a course in unlearning whatever we were doing before thinking we're making progress and we're going to achieve the aim we're going to achieve future enlightenment and we're going to get more spiritual and keep take more spiritual courses and more spiritual workshops and just keep building and building and building like the tower of bebel almost like make our way back to god through all these achievements and concepts and then oh my gosh at some point it starts to dawn though it's everything's being washed away like whit was talking about today that Alzheimer's state that his friend dear friend was in of not knowing you know not having the words not being able to put together sentences not being able to have a conversation a normal conversation because he could only string a few words together voice of god of course voice of god voice of god at the end and city of god and his sandbox you know those are the words you could string together and he couldn't coherently put anything else together he he was so letting go of the status quo and coming back to that place of innocence original innocence before guilt was i am innocence is wow before guilt was innocence is but that's undoing time so Jesus tells us time goes backwards not forwards what a trick we've always believed that time was going forward and we were looking forward ambitions and future goals and future achievements and future accomplishments and the whole thing underneath it was no times going backwards we get it in science you know you look at science and there's amazing concepts in science the concept of entropy entropy the whole cosmos is moving to chaos oh my god science was trying to tell us something if the whole cosmos is moving to chaos then i want to go the other direction of the whole cosmos how and it's that movement of forward moving bigger better more faster better better new improved you know if all that is not it if all that is the status quo then it's glory hallelujah to start to say okay i surrender all the all the income for you here's my wife's leg i'm not going to play the ego's game anymore it takes trust it takes trust to let go of the status quo it takes trust to let go of the familiar that's what these last 25 years have been for me i had 10 years of university i had degrees i had the beginnings of a career oh then Jesus at about 28 years old he tells me you won't have a career is that the kind of thing you tell somebody when they're 28 years old why don't you tell them when they're five or something you know but not when you're 28 because that's the time when you're supposed to what be building a career he said you won't have a career in this lifetime oh well we'll see how that goes that's going to be interesting talk about trust wow that's going to be uh how am i supposed to give money you know yeah i'll take care of that relationship i'll take care of that so so we it takes a lot of faith to let go of that forward that momentum to try to move to make yourself better i mean if you go to the library or you go to the bookstore there's the self-help section is pretty big you know we've spent a lot of time in the self-help section the only thing is we never took time to question who is the self that needs help is our spirit there is our spiritual reality and being need help no it doesn't it's the ego that wants to keep improving to become a better and better ego and a spiritual ego it wants to be a spiritual ego and then if it becomes a good new improved spiritual ego to the point then it will reach a point of of making of arriving even that's a trick that's more status quo i saw your hand up in the back yes be so prominent such a challenge to us well i would say that number one it's it's a death wish so if you take a powerful mind and you invest your powerful mind your your faith your trust your power your glory in a death wish well the results are depressing uh shocking um hard fearful well we aren't that's the beautiful thing you know the ego doesn't exist i'll tell you right right away and the only way you experience its nothingness is by being tapped into god if everything you think and say and do is inspired by the spirit if you're not only here to heal and bless to radiate to shine joy joy joy joy joy uh where's the ego in that there is no ego there's no ego and that's the most beautiful thing is that we are naturally happy we don't why would we want to experience heaven or nirvana if it's pure bliss and joy what would be our resistance to that except maybe we still believe that there's something substitute something not real something temporary that has value so basic question comes down to am i going to value the temporary or am i going to value the eternal well i'll tell you for me it's no choice there's no choice in that at all that's so obvious i i'd say i had to be quite convinced you know um yes that's my experience now is that that it's you know resistance is futile as the borg teach and that that there is nothing reasonable about fear or doubt or hatred it in the end you can start to see that that there's no point and when i've talked for hours and hours for the last 25 years some people will actually come up to me and say you know what david if i totally lined up with what you're thinking and the whole world lined up with what you're thinking the world would cease to exist and i said that's absolutely correct well who said it it didn't who said it doesn't i'm not a proponent of of time i'm not even a proponent of process i'm just sharing that that happiness is the most natural condition there ever could be it's so natural and at some point it seemed like seemed like i had to flip over from from this dirge i was singing why is it so hard hard hard why is everything so hard wait this is unnatural uh you know i was like saying the same things and then at some point it flipped where i'm like oh hallelujah it's easier to be happy it's easier to be happy it's easier to be joyful it's natural to be joyful that's like a natural state of mind it is it's very natural so then the questions disappear the the questions get dissolved in the light because i went i went from questioning questioning questioning oh question everything and there's lots of question questioning and then i came to a point where the spirit was saying well you've got helpful questions and unhelpful questions okay tell me the difference then if i'm doing all this questioning and there's you tell me now there's helpful questions and unhelpful questions what are the helpful questions. The helpful questions are those that are questioning the very existence of consciousness, the very existence of error. The helpful questions go take you inward. Like, what am I believing here? What am I perceiving here? The unhelpful questions are questions about the form. Why do bad things happen to good people? Jesus is like, you'll never get the answer to that question. That's not really a question. That's just a statement. Disguise as a question. Oh, it is. And then he said, most of the questions and all the disciplines of this world, if you go to college, all the questions of the causes and effects and chemistry and physics and you name it. Even in cooking food, there's cause and effect relationships. How long do you leave the cherry pie in the oven? So the crust is nice and golden brown and everything? No. All those questions presume an external world. Presume a world of causes and effects. And all of our disciplines in our universities all have faulty, spurious cause-effect relationships. Every single discipline in there. Now there's quantum physics, which I would say is coming, we're coming to an end of that belief in causes and effects because we're starting to see there's no world outside the thinker. There's no world apart from consciousness. Now we actually, our science and our mysticism are coming to the same point. We're waking up. We're going, oh my god, I had been fooled. I once was lost, but now I see. Oh my gosh, amazing grace. How sweet the sound, hallelujah. There are roads for that one. My god, this is wonderful. And yet it's dissolving everything. It's dissolving the whole world. The whole world is dissolving now. I would say it has dissolved. That's the fun part. It's over. It's over. Yes. You mentioned consciousness just before, and there's a line in the course, and I know I'm paraphrasing it, but it says something to the effect of consciousness is the last error that needs to be corrected. Now I wonder if you could explain that because I never could understand. I thought everything was consciousness. Yeah, I know when you when you read a lot of non-duality stuff and watch a lot of non-dualities, there's a lot of words that get used. People even use the word Christ consciousness, but actually Christ doesn't have a consciousness. It's great to have the Course because you have an awakened master. I mean a real awakened master, not a teacher who's saying he's awake. But I mean there's an awake master, and he's saying consciousness arose after the separation. Okay, now I love it. Give it to me straight. So there's no such thing as Christ consciousness. Woo, that's getting in there. Now we're getting good because if consciousness arose after the separation and Christ is the I Am-ness before time was, before Abraham was I Am, he was teaching that, I and the Father are one who's teaching spirit, then that means that consciousness is the first split that's introduced in the mind. How can we know that consciousness is not real? Well, it has levels. Everybody remember the 60s? What was the goal in the 60s? Raise your what? Raise your level of consciousness. And if consciousness has levels, it ain't real. Why? Because spirit doesn't have any levels. How many levels are there in oneness? One is one is one. Not three, not four, not seven. One, one, one. Is that simple? That is simple. The truth is one. The truth is love, unconditional love. The truth is spirit and consciousness was the first split that was introduced. So if that's the case, then why would consciousness be the last thing that needs to be corrected? It's because fragmentation was what consciousness was about. But what happens when consciousness becomes unified? What happens when we reach what the quantum physics call, the physicists call the unified field? What unified field? I think I heard about the field from Rumi, the great poet and mystic. There is a field. I will meet you there. Whoa! Rumi was talking about the quantum field long before the physicists even came up with the word. Rumi was right in there. These are, why does Rumi resonate with everybody? Because it's reflecting the truth. So that's why it's the last one to be corrected. Because to believe that anything could be fragmented ever is the introduction of error. And unified awareness is really what Jesus calls the happy dream. Why is it so happy? Because it's unified. It's whole. There's no separate parts to it. Even these things that, you know, we talk about, you know, that the parts contain the whole. No they don't. And the world, especially politically. And I'm seeing, first of all, aside from, and I realize this is my own perception, my own perception, I'm looking at this and saying, this is crazy. But then I'm seeing that where people are is based on their level of consciousness, which is true projection. But I'm having trouble getting beyond that. Now I get it with the consciousness as the first split after the separation. I'm still having a little trouble saying that people who would, and it's just my projection, people who would vote for a certain person. These people here are not my colleagues. This is great. I love these questions. This is great. These are the most practical questions ever. I love it. Get into politics. That's good with me. I think it's fantastic. Everything is a concept. Everything's just an idea. So when we talk about politics, that's the concept of politics. And you can't really even have the concept of politics without the concept of duality. Imagine if you had no parties. If you took the parties out of politics. If you took the sides out of politics. If you took the people. People out of politics. That's cool. Buddha would love it. Empty the mind. Just take the politics and just suck at the vacuum out. I still believe in people. Sides, parties. Liberal, conservative. Independent. You could do that with anything. Sexuality. If you took the parts out of sexuality. If you took the private parts out of sexuality. I should be a stand-up comedian. If you took the private parts out of sexuality. Wow. And isn't that the way that it goes? Christine knows. She's heading in that direction. And David's going, oh, hell. This is not good at all. Let's look at the course. William Thedford. Bill Thedford. He was the one who calmed Helen and typed it out from the shorthand and this and this and this. You know, I think when Bill, from everything I know about Bill, when he was younger, he was identified as heterosexual when he was younger because there was a woman that he really was after and wanted to be in a relationship with. And I found out from talking to Judy that eventually that was part of his healing lesson. It was like unrequited love. He loved this woman. She didn't seem to love him. And by the end of his life, he called her up. They went, spent some time together at a hotel. And he totally forgave. He forgave all his relationships. I mean, every last one of them. And he laid aside the body. Left it in the sunshine up here in the bay area, just laying in the grass. And he was heterosexual. Then he went through a homosexual phase. And then when I talked to Carol Howell, a good friend of his, and Judy, they said, well, actually by the end of his life, he was asexual. It's almost predictable. Because what? Spirit is asexual. Spirit is non-sexual. Spirit doesn't have a body. It's kind of hard to have sex without a body. Just one spirit. You know, hey, you can't do the hey baby thing. There's no baby. There's no baby. Hey, I like your hair. I like your curves. No, there's no curves. There's no hair. There's no breasts. There's no private parts. And imagine now applied to politics, you know. If you suck all the concepts out of politics, what do you got left? Oneness. Absolute oneness. You could do it with food and nutrition. I had so much fun with that. You know, I was just in Southern California. I was a group of, you know, wonderful people. Nikita's with me. And we're going through there. That was the most organic. I mean, this was like a showcase. A showcase. We went in there and we went in the refrigerator and everything. And I looked, is there any cow's milk in there? No, there wasn't any cow's milk. They had to bring in cow's milk for me. Because it was almond and, you know, oh my gosh, if this was on a scale of 1 to 10, this was 11. It was at 11 in there. And then Nikita's like, you got any candy? And they were, you know, they didn't have a drop of candy in that house. Sugar? No, there's other substitutes help, you know. It was just, it was just amazing. And then finally we went out, a holy encounter, we went down to the pier at Malibu and this and this. We finally stopped off at one of the things. And I just bought a Halloween size Snickers bar, you know, with all the little things. I got to get some Snickers into this house and everything. Just for teaching purposes. For teaching purposes. And they loved them. As soon as I took a bite of the Snickers bar, they loved me. My God, you wouldn't believe it. They were eating, tell them. And with vegetarianism, there was a duplex. After my first day of talks, the crystal went downstairs and roasted, they roasted a lamb. Now what I'm saying is the guilt's in the mind, the guilt's not in the food. And the guilt's, you know, not, and now this is a lot of unlearning, but we're doing it with politics and sex. We might as well go after food too tonight, my God. You should be enlightened before you get back to your house tonight. It's great. And it's like one go, like, oh, and then friendship, oh. And it was like, already was so like, oh, like, like concepts were like present, present. But then at the end, it was kind of like, they were eating Snickers. And they were adorable. And it was like something that was almost from the beginning, like, oh, that almost like you pushed it, you just pushed it a little too far, right? So it took a whole weekend of deep, deep, deep sessions. And then in the end, it's like, oh, eating, like, drinking milk, eating lamb, Snickers, like Snickers. We're in love. We were falling in love. He's the little puppy, not protecting the puppy from the cat, because like a puppy was going after the cat, and the cat just wasn't impressed. He kept going after it. And they were like, you know what? I think the puppy just needs to learn its lesson, you know? And they were just like, not protecting it. And in the end, the cat got the puppy, and it just went like, and like, now she knows her lesson. You know, it's just like, these are like little things. Yeah, they're huge. They're very little, but they're actually huge. You know, it's an amazing awakening. And we're all falling into this, you could say, fall in or rising to this amazing love that's beyond judgments, that's beyond trying to point the finger. And it actually goes beyond preferences. It's just absolutely amazing. And the Spirit is so gentle that the Spirit uses everything that's believed in just to lift the mind, to purify consciousness, to lift it higher and higher and higher and higher into these glorious states of mind, where you do start to question everything. Because the problem is not in the form. It's the problem is in this faulty perception. This fragmented perception is the problem. The problem's not meat or non-meat. The problem's not lactose or non-lactose. The problem's not in this configuration. You know, people make all these things about homosexuality versus heterosexuality and what's more natural and what's more God given. God didn't create this cosmos. There's nothing that comes from God that has anything to do with time and space. God is eternal. There's nothing eternal in time and space. The black holes aren't eternal. The stars will go out there, but we now know they're burning gases. Our romantic songs were quite, you know, I will love you until the stars no longer shine. And it's like, no, they're just burning gases. As long as the stars shine in the heavens above, I will love you. Nowadays people are sophisticated. Is that all? You've got a time limit? You'll love me until the lights go out. I'm going for a better offer. Jesus Christ has got a better offer for me than that. I'll fall in love with Jesus instead of you. Forget the roses. You better come up with better than until the stars no longer shine in heaven. We will only be content with eternity. Time and eternity cannot coexist. Why? Because one is not real and one is. Reality and unreality don't go together. What happens when you bring the darkness to the light? The darkness disappears. What happens when you bring ignorance to wisdom? The ignorance disappears. So that's what we should be focusing on. When we're looking at political candidates and we're weighing where they are on the spectrum, are liberal, conservative, help the economy, you know, help bring about peace and security by building walls and fences and more weapons, well, just more defense spending. You know, when Jesus said, meekness, blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth, he said nothing about building defenses. I loved it with Michael Moore's movie, Capitalism, a Love Story. I was showing Michael Moore's movie, Capitalism, a Love Story, down one time in a big tent, a big wedding tent in Australia. And the commentary of the Holy Spirit put together with Michael Moore's movie, the ego was furious. It was shaking the tent, it was trying to blow the whole tent down, knocked the screen over because I was basically, with the Spirit's help, dismantling capitalism. And of course I could do the same with socialism and communism and all the other isms. And in the end, mysticism, you know, that's a nice inroad, but then again, that can go too. Why not? If everything is one, we don't need any isms. You know, that's the beautiful thing of this. It's so free. It's so happy. It's so joyful. It's so still. It's so quiet. It's so natural. And so I find it very helpful. Those are, the election thing is offering lots of opportunities for forgiveness. Lots of opportunities. I'm glad you brought that question up because that's, no, that's the kind of questions we need to get into. We need to get into the practicality of whatever's stirring something up. I would, any of the political candidates, I would just adore meeting them all. Of course I said the same about Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein. I think I was going around the country years ago saying, when Osama, everyone was, where's Osama? Where's Osama? I said, I hope I find him and meet him for lunch. He had some good Persian food and really enjoy a holy encounter. And they're like, oh. And somebody said, he's probably hiding close to the Bush Ranch. They were trying to tell me where I could go. Go to Texas to find him. Because he was so well hidden, they thought he must be next to the Bush Ranch. Where's your opponent? The last place you would look. That's from Revolver, the movie, Kai Richie's movie. Oh, you've been, you've been ready to go. I'd like to ask another question about the, you know, the stuck relationship between a parent and a little child. You know, as the, you know, this young adult now starts to, you know, just spread their wings and try to find out who they are. And now they're, you know, crossing a lot of boundaries that have existed in the family relationship before. But now you're at a point where, for a variety of reasons, there's a lot of anger and there's no heart to heart taking place or that it's possible to take place. Where is this going next? Yeah, I did this video one time. I've got like over 1,500 YouTube videos up there now and five million plus viewers and they just keep spreading and growing. But I love, they come up with titles for my videos, but there was one YouTube video I keep discovering to myself. I'm like, oh, look at this one. And, oh, I like the title. The title of the one, I would write this down because you probably can find it on YouTube, but it's, the title of it is Who's Your Daddy? Isn't that a nice title for a video? Who's Your Daddy? Of course, I'm giving the emphasis with the dialect and everything here. And who's your daddy? Who's your parent? That's what all of us really have to ask, because we actually do have a divine parent, not two. We come from one parent and the lie of this world, which, you know, Jesus was addressing 2,000 years ago. Who is my father, mother, sister, brother? He that does the well of my father in heaven is my father, mother, sister, brother. Oh my God. He was teaching this 2,000 years ago and now he's really teaching it. He's saying you, you are a divine offspring from a divine parent, God. Even these religions that talk about mother, father, God, and they say, let's stop anthropomorphizing the one. Let's stop with this masculine feminine stuff and this male-female stuff. One is one. We're not talking duality here. We're not talking multiplicity here. God is one. That's a core idea. And if God is one and God is spirit and the creator is one, then the creation is like the creator, because it says in the Bible at the beginning, God created you in his likeness and image. Remember that? You probably remember Gilda Radner and Saturday Night Live, the old Saturday Night Live. There was Father Guido Sarducci and he was a cool guy. I just saw him on Facebook and he said, if God created man in his likeness and image, why aren't we all invisible? Says Father Guido Sarducci and I'm like, he's got it. I should call him up and I say, we are. We are invisible. These images aren't who we are. These are like masks. These are all part of the mask. We're one being coming from one creator. We're spirit. Spirit's invisible to the human eye. And we have to open to spiritual vision. Above all else, I'm determined to see. He's talking about spiritual vision. So to me, that's the thing. So you're asking a great question because that's the core question. Underneath the question that Siddharth raised earlier and you're raising again, is a question of authorship. Is God my author? And if God is my author, then I must be like the author because the author's in the same likeness and image, which is spirit, we'll say. It's of a like quality. Spirit creates spirit. Just like in the Bible in the Old Testament, begat, begat, begat. That was all physical. So and so begat, so and so. Adam and Eve. And then you've got the whole lineage. And before you know it, you've got seven billion people, the whole human race. Well, spirit creates spirit. And the whole cosmos is really a question of authorship. It's saying, hmm, no, I don't think that God is my author is saying, I think I have the ability to author myself. And what that turns into is a projection of error into form. So if you ask people, where did you originate? Where are you from? Most of the time they lie and they say some city or some place in time and space. I was born in this country or that country at such and such a time. That's part of the lie. Because that says if you have earth parents, and you were born in some coordinate in time and space, that's the biggest lie there could be. You're an eternal being. Like 2,000 years ago Jesus walks into a bar. Where are you from, heaven? Who's your parents, God? When were you born? I'm eternal. Well, what about the world? I am the way, I'm the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me. Are you sure? Yes, let the dead bury the dead. My God, he was telling the truth. He actually was telling the truth. But the human beings, where are you from? Whatever. Yeah, whatever, fill in the blank, time and space. Tell me about your family. Well, I was raised in a Jewish family and we descended from here and we came over from Poland. Lies? All lies? Human lies? Because what? You can't be an eternal being and be a being of time and space. Why? Because they're not the same. One is eternal spirit and one is flesh. It's molecules, atoms. Mostly space, we know. It's like a, it's like a mirage. This is a mirage. It just looks solid. It's really, we know now, there's nothing to it. And even within time Deepak has told us we're replenishing. We're not the same as we were years ago. It's all new, except it looks the same. Looks like the status quo. It looks familiar, but it's, it's, even that's just a mirage. So now we're just starting to realize we can tune into that divine presence and we don't have to buy into the mirage anymore. We're just shifting our focus from the lie back to the truth. We talked about consciousness before too, that consciousness arose after the separation. Guess what one of the first things that was invented as far as abilities? Memory. Memory is an ego invention. Why is memory an ego invention? Because it's recalling. And in heaven there's no recalling. If everything just is, what do you need to recall for? If everything just is present. So memory was invented by the ego, along with consciousness. And now the ego is associated memory with the past. Human beings associate memory with the past. There's a problem with that because Jesus says in the Course you can also use memory to remember the present. Oh, that's good news. That means the Holy Spirit can use a skill that the ego invented, an attribute for the awakening. You can actually use memory to remember the Holy instant. That's good news too. So anything the ego made, the Holy Spirit can take over and use it to take you back to eternity. And that's the good news. And it's actually quite comical. That's why I might have a career as a stand-up comedian. A sit-down comedian. I come out to the Bay Area to start a new vocation as a sit-down comedian. Flowers. You can't see that on the recording. Yes? I have a question about afterlife. Is there anything written in relation to the miracle after we die? Not that I'm concerned about it, but it kind of puts a perspective on how I am processing now. Well, the best answer for the question is there an afterlife or what does the Course say about the afterlife? I always tell this story. It's such a funny parable from the parable of David. I remember I was doing the dishes one time and I was listening to Ken Wopnik talking on the Course and everything. I was doing the dishes and I was listening to my tape and somebody asked Ken in one of his workshops, and this leads into your question, said, Ken, what does the Course say about life on other planets? And Ken's answer was the Course says there's no life on this planet. That's good. So if there's no life on this planet, then of course there would be no afterlife either. If there's no life or people, I would go around to a lot of churches and share the Course and everything, and most of the times I got invited into unity churches and everything. So I would be in unity churches and I'd be talking to people, but nobody in unity churches was ever talking about death. I never heard anything about death in a unity church. It was always transition. It's like, I also made a transition and transition, transition. So I went to one church and I said, this is great. I'm in unity. Nobody ever dies in this church. It's so great. They just make their transitions, but I just have one small question. Transition to what? If this is unity, how many sides are there in unity? And that's the thing with life, that life is eternal. So what we have defined, I mean we, meaning the ego, has defined as biological life and between birth and death and everything, the ego is quite clever. It's invented its own version of life and it's quite convincing and it tries to convince the sleeping mind that the body actually has life and that life begins at birth and or conception, whatever, however you want to define it, and ends at death. So though actually that was, Ken's really hit it right on with a nail on the head. There's no life on this planet. There's no life in this cosmos and there's no afterlife either. Those are concepts. Now the spirit will use the concepts to reach the mind with what it believes. So that's the way it's been in my life a lot of times. Like I went to Roscoe where Ken used to be with Gloria up there in Roscoe, New York and as soon as I got there, I had all these people coming out of the woodwork that wanted to meet me, talk to me and everything, and yeah one of the women that contacted me first, her husband had just passed and she just was concerned about him, like is he okay? And she wanted to ask me all these things and she said I saw you in a dream and spirits had talked to David and so did that, but and the spirit just comes through I'm sure in the time I met her that was back around 1990 1991 somewhere in that range it was just comforting you know everything's well, he's in a good place, he's so grateful, you know words of comfort and blessing and then the more we go deeper with the spirit we actually have experiences, mystical experiences that we are not located, that we don't really occupy a coordinate in time and space because we're everywhere because the idea of place is actually another concept and dimensions you know it's like oh moving to another dimension those are all concepts too. Basically what you'll find is you go on this journey that your mind will be emptied of everything you think you know about everything and and that's just the way that the journey goes you find yourself getting happier and happier and happier as you go more into what I call the I do not know state of mind which is really what forgiveness is about and you become more happy more confident so that people can ask you questions about politics and you say I don't know and they ask you questions about Newtonian science you say I don't know and they even ask you questions about even a course in miracles I'm getting to the point now where it's it's it's fading people will say what lesson is I don't know I used to have it all memorized but that's going to so this appears I'm quite clueless now I'm getting really clueless someone called in while we were in the car this woman Don and and Sundari said oh Don and then and then Sundari apologized for not being able to because Don apparently had called a lot of times and then Don was like oh that's okay and then with this and this and this and then and we were just talking before Don called in about it all things work together for good it's all perfect it's all perfect and then when a Sundari apologized the second time to Don I said you don't have to do that you don't have to it's all perfect and then I could hear Don kind of laughing and you know that's the laughter comes in when we get in touch with that innocence that we are all perfectly innocent it's it's funny yeah it's amazing it's amazing the great poet always in the right place at the right time with the right people doing the right thing wow wait a minute there's nothing to feel bad about there's nothing to feel guilty about there's nothing I didn't do not perfect enough yes I mean it's a real that's a mind boggling yeah well remember that movie with Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neill love story what was the line that was so famous from that love is never having to say I'm sorry my gosh the prophetess Ali McGraw you know it's it's it's all around us it's it's in the love songs carol king only love is real everything else the illusion adding to the confusion tracing a line till we can define the thing that allows us to feel only love is real I mean it's my gosh we've had the course in miracles for centuries we've had it the content of the course in ancient China we've had it in the the Vedas you know it's been around for us and now this is just another form of the universal curriculum and what it's basically saying it's all one everything is one beautiful teaching and now we're just starting to practically apply it and get happy start to say yeah this is this is my birthright this is my inheritance bring it on you know I want to welcome it I want to embrace the love embrace the light this is fun fun you know when you said I bring it on it makes me think that there's this song going back to that song I hear in the Christian video it says your life is not falling apart it's falling into place and it's kind of like that you know like things happen to you like once you're going the spiritual journey and you know like yeah you have to let go of expectations but at first you hold and then it feels like it falls apart but it's really like the trust you were talking about that trust that faith knowing like I do not know my own best interest but you know the spirit knows so it's like holding onto that trust like knowing you know it's fine I'm okay and uh it's very humbling and I mean I like to hear you because it reminds me that trust yeah that trust I want to to remember that day in and day out because as life seems to fall apart and I lose it and I get anxious and scared that's great yeah it reminds me I have all these songs I listen to but that actually reminded me of I think it's it's a Jason Gray that song more like falling in love than something to believe in yeah that's a great song I don't know if you have a sound system here but I've got a little sound system but but um caught up called out come take a look at me now it's like I'm falling in love and then it good then it does mention Jesus um and it's so beautiful because it's it's like um yeah life isn't isn't falling apart it's it's falling into place everything is falling into place which just means it's all coming together in divine order it's it's always been there but now the awareness is like that that's what Judy was talking about today too she was just we were just talking and marveling at how everything everything is working together for the good nothing has ever been out of place and I just I had so much thumb of that four and a half hour lunch with her because every time I have lunch with her it's the fourth time and I just marvel at the experiences she shares that Jesus is so behind everything absolutely everything she did have a I believe it was some kind of a a reading a message that came to her that she was very close in a previous lifetime close to awakening and then she took a wrong turn seemingly and and and it was a it was a lot of guilt with this one little step so close oh so close one little step and she was talking about it and then it came to uh to this lifetime where um she had this message come in about a lawsuit that would be her opportunity to come to full completion was a lawsuit and this was like a little bit a few months three four months before the lawsuit that the that she was involved in that the foundation of A Course in Miracles and Foundation for Inner Peace got involved in that and and we just were smiling in the sense that it all played out just the way that it was scripted just to come to a sense of completion just to come to a sense of of seeing the innocence beyond like with a lawsuit obviously you got to you know beyond the duality however whatever it takes to come to that oh let all the pieces fall into place because they've always been in place some of you know that in the early part of the workbook Jesus says in no situation do you perceive your own best interest is he doesn't say in some situations or or in most he says in no situation do you perceive your own best interest oh my gosh is that wonderful or what in no situation then I was saying in the car today what's so fun is then he says I think it's the next lesson everything is in your own best interest oh my gosh he gives the answer he doesn't just leave it hanging he gives it gives the answer what does that mean all things work together for good let all things be exactly as they are you know that that it's only been a misinterpretation that the problem is that's amazing to think that nothing ever ever has gone wrong wow ziggity dog is that the top of the that's the peak of of understanding of the only understanding well well we were talking on the way home but but Nikita was taken to a place of rest involuntarily taken into rest and and she was going to be our textbook she was going to come and search out the movie for us tonight and I thought well I told her I said I think you should just give go with the rest and then we'll just have a we'll just let it unfold so I we still have a couple more gatherings here in the bay area or the day after to the movie I talk I keep mentioning every day I'm like today is the day today I was sure today is the day I was like I'm going to come back at four and just join with my laptop and the tv see what comes out of it he knows looking forward to it got an eye down so what's happening but maybe tomorrow or the day after I think there's someplace it could be a movie it could be some clips yeah or even a mini movie I could press movie for teaching purposes but it always comes out of a question you know if somebody shows up and they are calling out for love and there's something that's really there then the movie seems to come in as an answer like in Topanga on our last day you guys won't believe it but I really I'm going to mention this over and over but like on our last day was the end of the retreat the retreat ended at 5 p.m. we were there like 7 p.m. just like gathering and there's like all this gratitude just like a few of us and and there's this prayer in the heart I could feel it like there's just this deep prayer like you could just feel it bursting and then all sudden it comes out like I think all of them at the same time were like like they really wanted to maximize the rest of the evening because that was like the last night and they're like we want to spend it we want some kind of an experience a movie or a session that would just blow our hearts open just like blow it open and it's like okay okay and what came in was group over and the nine but that was the answer to that prayer it was a really deep session but that was because it was so like it was just like it was just boiling there so yeah the ninth the ninth and yeah those are those are mindblowers the ninth yeah we just showed a mini movie of revolver and one clip from the ninths but it was like just they were so cute they hadn't seen either and they were like oh my god they had to pause it there like when they came down to the ninth they're like okay we'll pause it then like can we remind remind them like what is going on yeah it's almost like that what they this is an emotion picture I can't believe this is like they're saying on the you know because it's almost like the deepest thing you could ever experience in your heart but when it's acted out on the big screen that's that's like a mind opener it's almost like a drug experience without the drugs just into a shift of perception having your mind spring open they were the topic came up about ayahuasca and and Nikita's like here we go it's ayahuasca ayahuasca wherever I go it's ayahuasca so they were in the car and it's like did you take ayahuasca she said technically no but you know it's it's all around you come out to California you got to show everyone your California shirt she she got a California sparkly shirt from the airport she's wearing it again yes yes so we're out here we're in the I want to say movies better than ayahuasca like I was like no I never got to ayahuasca but I was always praying white coming in I was always praying like hot like for the expansion like experiential something to totally expand the mind and then and it was like ayahuasca drugs and I was like I hear it but it's just like I'm really not guided I'm not judging it like I'm the most open minded person like when it comes to these things but I was not guided and yet every time there's a movie it's like whoa whoa whoa that's like that is so mind-blowing and there's no it's like there's no unless you felt to show a clip if anything if you have an inspired clip that's right we said seven to ten so there's still time for a mind-blowing mind-altering clip yes this is this was our version of the movie we continued on with the use of the movie we can also edit it V said Star Trek there's actually so many well the thing is we've got so many we've got so many Star Trek mini movies that are mind-altering mind-blowing segments around memory and all kinds of things and one of them is called remember me that I don't know if that's that might even be within our well very good we have he mentioned meditating I've got my little boombox here my mini boombox and um taste it would be if we there's any kind of a taste it would have to be like a theme if somebody has a theme or a pressing question anger management I feel pretty Jack Nicholson the scene going over the bridge without a Zedler that's a good movie anger management yeah I was mentioning last night we have this movie watcher's guide to enlightenment MWGE.org and you can go through the emotional list index and then type in something like anger or jealousy or whatever the issue and then yeah they just they come up E.org we even have an animated character that that was intended for that called Mr. Pops he said he's a popcorn bag that is watching movies and he blows his top he gets angry and then he he needs to needs a movie watcher watching help and then Mr. Pops becomes serene more like Yoda so it's a little animation yeah yeah I can now that we don't have anything set up I can I can share a movie that I showed in Southern California I can do it verbally like David said it's all this is all moving anyway so I've had some people tell me that they like my versions of telling the movies better than watching the movies themselves they go oh yeah I saw but your version of you you telling the movie is better than watching the movie her that is a classic movie at transcending roles transcending expectations you've got an operating system with voice of Scarlett Johansson the soft feminine voice and an operating system and eventually she becomes interested with other OS systems and then eventually Alan Watts the Alan Watts there's a group in Northern California that are working with Alan Watts operating system is very intuitive and then she starts communicating and then she gets into simultaneous communications when he's like who are you talking to are you talking are you talking to other people and I don't know how many hundreds of other people she's talking to simultaneously and are you in love with other people because we're so used to relationships where it's one-on-one or in San Francisco the Bay Area you can't get away with that here are you people watching at home should move out of San Francisco you feel stuck you know it really takes it I think that is one of the most amazing things because to me that shows the direction that this is moving in that shows the direction in our seeming lifetimes of what we're going into it going into from the idea of relationships as they've been defined into being used by the Holy Spirit letting the Holy Spirit orchestrate we'll say the configurations well even when two people come together in a relationship that's that's like a little mini community that's a configuration we call a partnership or a marriage or a couple or so on and so forth and and before Yogananda passed on you know he felt there would be these new configurations coming study groups people coming together opening up for self-realization together you know through he was mentioned Korea yoga and his practices but but I feel like that's coming like like it could be that years from now seemingly you may look back and go my gosh I can't believe how my consciousness has shifted I can't believe the configurations that the Spirit is bringing in they're nothing what I imagined them to be but that's how the parable of David is gone it's just gone into configurations world travels I wasn't a traveler I never even enjoyed traveling but I was willing to do whatever for healing so there's all kinds of configurations that came in and and coming together for a period of time and apart and then together you know it's whatever it takes to wake the mind up and and I did say that I remember with this young group that was down there in Southern California most of whom I I'd never met there was some people there that I'd met before but I'll say the same thing to you all that I said to them I said we are in a lifelong relationship we have been brought together in this configuration by a purpose quantum that's that's how these bodies seem to be in this room it's the purpose that drew us together it's nothing from the past we have different past histories different cultural backgrounds we seem to have different races sexes all different kinds of orientations and interests and and intellectual capabilities and all kinds of skills that are different and yet we have one unifying purpose that has drawn us together and I would say that's the purpose that will bring us joy that this whole thing that seems like a room and in Sundari's house we could call it that if we want but yeah she was saying today but but this configuration has come about because of our calling because of of our purpose and we can trust that we can trust to go in that direction this configuration it seems to be a temporary momentary configuration but it will continue to be that way that's how we outgrow the status quo that's how we outgrow thinking we have to have the form be a certain way for us to be safe no we don't we need a purpose that that we're very aligned with to be safe that's that's like an alignment with source that's where our safety insecurity comes in Jesus says it in so many ways but when two people come together with the same purpose we're two or more gathered in my name I am there and not only that but if one needs something the other is sent to provide it instead of thinking we are each responsible for providing for our own body and providing for our own care and maintenance and our own survival and everything we can start to trust that there is one who's in charge of the plan of awakening and if one is sent he talks about this in the psychotherapy pamphlet where the patient and the therapist come together sometimes one is is sent to give money to the other other times no but but when the patient and the therapist come together they come together for healing and whatever one needs the other provides imagine if you thought of your life that every time you have a holy encounter that it's for God's purposes and whatever one needs is provided it could be a hug it could be a smile it could be some money it could be just can I hold you can I you know can we rejoice together in something I can experience Judy was talking a lot about those being drawn together with certain ones and feeling this kind of connection like she felt with Helen when she met she said the day when she met Helen Shepman for the first time it was more like oh I feel it there's something for us and she felt that with her husband Whit and she felt that with her first husband Bob and she felt that with uh with Zebra who was with the you know you know there's this purposeful thing like hmm there's something greater that we're here for we feel the resonance we feel the connection and that's why I say that to everyone I meet we are in a lifelong relationship based on a purpose this isn't kind of a thing where we're coming together to like marry somebody necessarily just in a in the worldly sense but it's it's a it's a joining in purpose for the duration of our lives however that long it was so so powerful for me in an answer to a question about my mother and my daughter of your saying my mother my daughter and it really got me starting started on a path where you know I was I talked about myself as the vehicle instead of my body and the one I call daughter or the one I call mother rather than it was just noticing you got me to notice all the places and times and internal ways that it was my my my my my you know like and and there was some way that that really really helped me transition to what you're saying right now of being the script is written and and you know there's walking through it so it isn't my daughter and my house and might as well be my day but I mean it's like it's like none of it is fine and and there's really really powerful seed you planted that seemed to help me look at what you're talking about right now yeah yeah and I think that's all behind that flash of insight you had to the time and judgment are the same yes from that mystical mystical movie where we yeah had that experience I think we were up in Petaluma that was Lucy that was the same thing and there was the commentary on the site has me and you in it and so there I was in Petaluma David and I watching David and I that I literally lost track of which reality I was I was at your movie festival when I first that that was that was filmed yes and somehow literally watching it I couldn't just both both realities were like so real that I didn't know which one I was in while I was oh my that's a that's a metaphysical compliment for the holy spirit where I was yeah that was fun that was a lot of fun and honestly my mind just got lost in that where I didn't know which one I was in because they were both the simultaneity of it was and it's almost like there's only the now and all the past lights are happening just right here now and once all the future lights are equally exactly here and now and it was that kind of um complete reality for me thank you but everything that happens here is because of the purpose and so the only purpose I can think of not not that I can think of but that my heart tells me there would be would be to feel the oneness feel hold again because I remember from since I was very little I noticed that I wasn't hold like I had this feeling that I wasn't hold and somehow my life would be about becoming hold but then is that something I was born with or is that something that was created because then it takes it out of if this is a dream and this is not real then how could there be a real purpose into this more than into this dream life and where does the purpose come from is the purpose coming from somewhere else or is it yeah yeah the purpose is coming from the Holy Spirit and the the purpose is not it doesn't end well in the dream it dwells in the mind so it's it's a way of looking all Bill Thetford said to Helen Shuckman at the beginning there must be a better way and he thought she would just make a joke or laugh or whatever and she said you're right Bill and I'll help you find it boom there we go you know it was the the query the query was answered and well there's there's so many great ways I could come at this but basically let's just start with like for example the body the eyes of the body are not receptors you know all the stuff that we were taught about light waves coming in you know through the pupil and through the retina and then the image is upside down and then it gets flipped and reinterpreted and then this little neurons are sent and we're interpreting that's all the lie too all the stuff we were taught in science is all the lie too the eyes are not receptors and now there are the ears remember we we learned things about the ear waves and they come in and they go inside and they touch the eardrum and then they send neurological impulses to the brain and then the brain interprets that's true that's all a lie the eyes are are symbolically projectors and the ears are like speakers so the the the mind consciousness through its association generates these things concepts called noise it's not coming from the world if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear hear it doesn't make a sound philosophical question well i'll tell you one thing if there's no perceiver there's definitely no sound because but perception comes from consciousness is generated and radiated outward so the eyes are projectors they're like our little movie projectors talking about the movie the dream david was there's our projectors and here's our sound dolby sound and stereo we got it going on the body is being used by the mind by consciousness is as a projector now this is the fun part about quantum physics because there's really no such thing as linear times so what i'm saying is the closer you come to the projector which is really in the mind but we'll say the eyes closer you come to the projector and everything the more you you think of it in terms of space and the farther away from the projector you think of it as time like if i said well i seem to be maybe like 10 12 feet away from you you see 12 feet that's a spatial thing i don't say i'm 0.01 seconds away from you see what you're talking about or if you spread it out like in terms of stars let's say we move to the stars now stars are so far away you just have so many zeros behind the miles you did in terms of miles or kilometers the numbers would be so big that we don't describe how far the stars are away from the projectors by spatial terms oh that's so many billion miles away or whatever tens hundreds of billions of miles we say light years oh year oh my gosh we're describing something that that we perceive that seems to be a long distance away but we're talking about years and then if you want to go even further projected to history if you said to somebody um how far away is Cleopatra if you try to tell that person that she was so many miles away they would say what are you talking about it's a costume party Cleopatra's been dead for centuries what do you mean how far is she away but then you describe it entirely in terms of time how many hundreds of years not in terms of space oh she's she's about a trillion miles away we will say you crazy the farther it is away from the projectors the the more it's described in terms of time now here's the good part if you follow me on this that we will just say we seem to be projecting Sandari's house Sandari's room and I would say that this what we're proceeding right here is the entire cosmos that there's actually nothing outside of these walls there's no such thing as San Francisco there's no such thing as Oakland there's no such thing as the United States there's no oceans this is it look around you Sandari's house is is the entirety of the universe because our eyes are projecting it and it's just ideas there aren't really actualities there you can start to go into the state of mind where you you start to bring it all back closer to your projectors oh it's really fun it's exciting I used to do that I'd be over traveling around and say I'm in France or Belgium or anything and then they start to talk and they say well what's going on in the United States I say I say what and they say United States across the ocean I say what there is no United States you all know this from John Lennon's song imagine imagine there's no country I wonder if you can how willing are you to just start to reel it back into your projection now there was what's the guy's name with the headless way but I can never keep track of all these names he was just basically saying that no one ever sees their head that they they kind of sometimes look into the thing called a mirror but really is that really real I mean they're really mirrors you know it's like we have this view of looking out from something and perceiving something we may perceive other heads because you've never ever directly looked on your head are you sure it's really there you can go like this like these doing and see even with the hands but are you sure they're really there I should pictures pictures photographs and everything and those that's a pretty sneaky trick that those are kind of the mirrors pictures those are convincing yeah just more illusion yeah it's it's really interesting when you start to realize that Jesus says projection makes perception so all perception everything that's perceived into seemingly the external world is just a projection of thoughts but what does Jesus tell us ideas lead not their source what does that mean so it means in heaven Christ never left the mind of God Christ still abides in in God's love Christ is still spirit spirits and spirit light is still light oneness is still oneness and in this world that ideas lead not their source it just means that christa merti said that many times I am the world the world is me something resonated about that when I heard christa merti say I am the world the world is me the ego's like that's the most air you it's it's seeing it as if it's a man speaking but that's no man I am the world the world is me my heart was bursting in love when I would hear that I'm the world the world is me why would my heart burst with christa merti what a kind generous loving expression I used to watch these him sitting there with all these people questioning him and they'd question him question him then they start screaming and shouting at him it was the most amazing thing I'd watch him the people would start shouting screaming shouting at him and I'd look at him to see how's he gonna react to all this shouting he said madams sirs please can we come back to the question that's how he reacted to shouting I was like oh my god my heart just exploded with love I thought oh my god what a what a reflection that was just a reflection of what was in my own heart of that you could be loving and that love wasn't circumstance dependent Jesus could be loving in a in a crowd in a mob that was saying crucify him because why he didn't take it personally because there wasn't a person there you know it wasn't that the man it was not a man to take it personal so to me that's beautiful when we start to think that actually with us here is the whole cosmos and the presence of love that's here is everywhere it's not a spatial it's not a spatial thing um yeah you were talking about person like like the Norris house and I just finished the module us holy relationship and so much came out I mean it was going through a lot and but what I got was I think I share this with you on our last call was this idea of ownership like I own something or I own the car or house or I have this much money I it's so insane like the whole concept doesn't even make sense to me anymore right now I can't even tell people like oh yeah I own a house I can't even say it because every time I say it I feel like this heaviness you know like it just re-emphasizes the personhood I know like I am this individual so I own this thing or I own this or even say my mother like my children like it's almost like I own them like you know like I'm owning a role and it's I can't even it's still I don't know what I'm trying to say but the ownership thing is crazy I just it's so it's such a ego strategy to kind of re-emphasize the separation like yeah you are an individual you're gonna own this and you own this you own these people you own your husband you own your wife no one can touch them you know no one can harm your children like it's such a heavy heavy responsibility yes it is I I like that saying in the in the Spanish tradition me casa su casa imagine that's that's actually God speaking that my house is your house it's so light totally shared I did feel that when I come here with Sundari I felt it when I was just down in Topanga Canyon where it was like I was swamped with all these amazing young people that were just like oh we love having you here and come anytime and come unannounced and just come and make yourself at home and oh so gracious and loving and it didn't have any sense of ownership in fact I think everyone else there felt it too people were showing up and one comes up with their baby and the dogs come in there and it's just all melted together in that and I think that's kind of interesting because isn't that what we want to give is there's something in our heart that just wants to share everything it just wants to say there's no ownership this is all perception the Holy Spirit's sharing our world with us thankfully and sharing the purpose so that we can rise up in vision and to give you an example I had a young man call me from Portugal the other day when I was down in Southern California and I knew of him Rafael and and he's 23 years old and he was the first time he's called me we've emailed and he said I had to call you and he's having all these mystical experiences like transcendent mystical experiences and the flip side is he's having this pain in his body so he's going flipping into mystical experience pain mystical experience pain mystical experience pain and and then in the pain it just goes where he starts to lose all of his five senses there's a movie that we have that we show sometime called perfect sense where all of humanity one by one the senses go it's amazing movie to watch one the senses go and then another sense goes then another sense go and at the very end when the final fifth sense is going out the main two characters are coming together and they can't see feel taste smell touch each other and they just kind of fall together and embrace and the senses are gone and it's a very powerful movie well here I get a call from Rafael and his five senses are leaving all of them going out he used to love to cook he he used to be able to use his eyes to read he's like David I can't read anymore and I can't watch your videos I used to love to watch your videos but I'm getting to the point where I can't I can't watch the videos anymore and I I can't hear and he was going to that it was it was amazed that we we could have this conversation he said I just dialed the number and I just was like spirit spirit spirit and then he was like I can I can hear you now but I can't listen to any audios anymore and I can't watch any youtube videos anymore and I'm losing all my five senses and he said I just want to know I just want to know that that love and God are not abandoning me because when the mind's associated with the fives with the body that's like getting snuffed out that's like loss getting projected out losing all the five senses so we joined and I I talked and I said oh you're so loved Rafael and and God loves you so much and you're going into the light that's what the mystical experiences are you're coming into that union and then the fear and the resistance is just swinging down to this scenario with the body where he was afraid I said I said he said because there's something I can do is it something immediate that can be done I said well I'll make a call I called Kirsten and I said um here's the phone number and an email I want to to communicate with with Rafael and feel into inviting him to Mexico and so she did she talked with him and so on and so forth and then in their call Kirsten found herself the spirit coming through her because when I first met Kirsten she had had two major accidents head injuries she she had had a brain injury I guess was on a mountain bike and then skiing and she'd had head injuries and she was highly sensitized to sounds like a plane flying overhead would be like torturous like a razor blade scraping or any kind of noise a lawn mower would be deafening because she was just through this head injury and came through her all this to Rafael like oh I can relate exactly to what's going on with your high sensitization and and the senses and so the spirit just poured through her and he was oh oh he was just so thrilled it was almost like he was thinking I'm going down fast and I need I mean desperate prayer for some kind of thing so then Kirsten talked with him and he was quite I think overjoyed and thrilled with the way the spirit said no this is just a projection projection of fear that's what's going on with the five senses seeming to disappear that's just a projection of the ego's fear of loss and it's projected to time and to the body so anyway it was very very good and then finally because I said to Kirsten I think you're really going to feel Rafael and sure enough Kirsten could totally feel the love of in this reflected in this man so then Kirsten called me back we talked again and everything and I said yeah she said Mexico is so loud you know the Mexicans they celebrate all the saints and marching bands going on and donkeys going on and and dogs barking horses it's just my hope my dog my horses and my donkey sound like I have to work on and so there's a dog and then the birds and then and it's like there's so many sounds on there and we both talked we said yeah that's Mexico is not going to work at this point he's like when when she had her head injury she's so sensitized she was to the slightest noise and Mexico is like I don't know what the decibel level is in the middle of the night you know it's like Mardi Gras going on they actually do a Mardi Gras for so many days and then the horns blasting and this and there's a three in the morning four to five in the morning so we both said no that's the Mexicans never work and then I thought the monastery so I said call Suzanne because Suzanne's out at our pristine quiet monastery Sundari knows it's you know it's just out there it's perfect it's it's so quiet you hardly have a plane go by it's way up in there you can hardly hear any sound it's pristinely quiet so I said talk to Suzanne and see what Suzanne so Kirsten poured her heart out and the whole experience was Raphael and everything Suzanne's like I feel it she could feel the spirit the tickle and oh yeah Raphael I feel it coming in so that's in progress now so even something as extreme is like you're saying I can't even talk about it on her ship and I'm going deeper into this module I'm going deeper in this experience spirit takes care and this little parable with Raphael is a good example of that like he just he was kind of at rope's end of things and just like I have to call you David I have to talk to you and that just initiated just what he needed his parents even they adore him but they save him how to handle it what do you do when you have a 23 year old son do you think you've got a problem with David here what if your 23 year old son is having mystical experiences and then going into extreme pain and he can't seem to cook bathe himself do anything he has no skills no abilities imagine trying to place your son somewhere where he has no skills and abilities to contribute in any way and they were feeling probably hopeless and they were also feeling some of those same feelings like what how can I help you he said I'm going to call David it's good good and then this whole thing unfolded so that's the spirit taking care and then they also he said yeah he told Gerson I think yeah I think they'll buy me a round trip plane ticket well that's practical and they're very grateful to do that and and offer some money maybe 500 euros a month for for living expenses and whatever they're thrilled that there's actually a place that he can go to where he can feel oh I'm safe oh I'm loved oh I may not be able to lift a finger and I'm loved unconditionally without question you know that's what we all have to remember that's how much God loves us that is we go on this journey of awakening and things seem to even fall away that that we're loved looking at wit and and Judy today 83 duties I think 83 or 84 and wits maybe 87 you know they're so loved oh they're so loved and nurtured the bodies are doing what bodies seem to do they seem to you get older they get more frail Judy's been telling us what is it uh is it glaucoma macular degeneration of the eyes and different things and she was saying this reading she even had when she was had her child 60 years ago she with the oxygen mask and swallowed her own vomit and and was like pneumonia and came you know very close to dying but she was had pushed it out of awareness and this reading brought it back so her lungs were weak and you know the bodies seem to get old they seem to get weak they seem to get frail they seem to break down and so on and so forth but if you're not a body why should that worry the mind if we don't own a body you know when we say my body that's that's being kind of arrogant I don't think that's really true and and yet that's a source of much stress when we take the my word and we attach it to a body then that's it so that's the message we're saved we're loved and that this awakening is the most important thing and that you know if if it starts to fade away and fade away and things fall away fall away you know the spirit's like saying I'm here for you I'm here for you you know because this is everything when I see people that seem to be going through a dismantling I think that's the most glorious thing because they're just opening towards a remembrance of who they are and the spirit will do everything to support that whereas the ego is going oh it does not look good the ego is afraid of going into insanity but what the world calls insanity like psychosis for example if you go into the dsm 3 or 4 the definition of psychosis is a break from reality well that's what the human condition is it's a break from reality the entire human condition is a psychotic break human beings don't have psychotic breaks the whole condition the human race is a psychotic break from reality heaven oh we flip the definition definition around schizophrenic split that's the human race again split mind hearing multiple voices that's another condition of schizophrenia right what do you think planet earth is about we've got seven billion different voices talking and if you listen you listen to them all you watch television youtube you you tune in on the internet you get to hear all the we're listening to multiple voices all of us are listening to multiple voices the human race has schizophrenia I think it should be locked up it should be locked up it's it it's dangerous it could harm itself it may blow itself up or you can forgive and realize that that there's nothing outside your mind that you're coming you're not going insane you're coming in to sanity inward to sanity be still so that's the thing to just be reminded of that is you as you give yourself over all the support of god all the support of holy spirit all the support of the angels are all there in abundance and and that's important to remember you will not go on alone from here mighty companions go with you they may seem to be angelic visions they may seem to be human beings that are that are like angels it's so important especially the deeper you go you know you have to have a sense of that I would do anything for you anything okay yeah so by the way I'm so happy you all came it makes me so happy to see you and to have this house have some functionality I mean it's you know of all existing here with your love and light and it makes me really happy