 The narcissist has to predict your next move. When you're dealing with a narcissist it's always a constant game. Even when it may seem like it's not a game. Even when they may be smiling, laughing or joking. They're still plotting against you. They're still trying to find a way to tear you down. Which is why they always need to be able to predict what you're about to do. They need to be two steps ahead of you. Which I like to call the anticipation modes. And I already did a video on this topic four years ago. They have to anticipate your next move. They have to imagine or expect that something will happen. Because your thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors have a lot of power. They have the ability to direct and influence the behavior of other people and the cause of events. But they want to be the ones who are in control. They want to be able to restrain your emotions and actions. Because then at times they also want to tend and entice you. As long as they're able to determine your behavior. And maintain influence and authority over you. Because they're very weak and insecure. So they don't want to be on the receiving end of it. They want to be in a position of power over you. They want to be the ones who remain calm and reasonable despite provocation. Because despite what they have led you to believe. You are very powerful. And they may not realize this initially or when they're still engaged with you. But when they walk away or you leave them. It becomes evident to them. As they are still longing and yearning to be around you. It frustrates them. It causes them to feel upset and annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something. Because despite what you may have been led to believe. You are actually a lot more powerful than you think. And it may seem as though you're just making them angry. But you also have the power to arouse sexual desire and interest in them. Especially deliberately. To where they may even fantasize and daydream about you. But then they also want to put a stop to that. Especially if they realize that it's something they can no longer achieve or obtain. Which may then frustrate them even more and make them want to take it out on someone else. When all they may really want is to have something with you again. But since they know that you're on to them and you're not coming back. And they can't participate in the fun, enjoyment and like-hearted pleasure. They get mad. They become hateful and envious of you. And they desire to control you. Because the way they see it is if they can't participate. Then it shouldn't even exist. It should be destroyed. So it immediately becomes this chess game or this game of cat and mouse. Where they're constantly trying to hunt you down and contain you. But it's actually because they realize they've made a huge mistake. They just don't want to accept it. They don't want to accept that they lost something to value. Something that could have been good to them. They don't want to deal with the shame and the pain. They don't want to deal with the regrets. That is the last thing a narcissist wants to feel. They don't want to feel sad or disappointed over something they have done or failed to do. That's how they want you to feel. Which is why from this point it's all about making you feel regret. Making you feel like you made a mistake and now you can't have something with them. As though you're missing out. As though you now failed to benefit from something useful or fun by not taking part in it. When the reality is you already knew what they were like all along. That's why you shut yourself off from them. When they began you to devalue you and treat you with contempt. You already knew that you didn't want to be a part of that. You were longing and desiring for something else. Where you actually felt wanted. Where you felt someone would do anything for you. And you would do anything for them. Because that's what we want. But narcissists actually have the arrogance of the audacity to think that you would want someone who lacks self-awareness and empathy. They actually believe that you would desire to connect with someone like that. When you were never looking for something like that to begin with. You just wanted to have fun. You wanted to have a good time. Which is something you're never going to experience with them and they know it. Because they're like a machine. They're constantly anticipating what's about to happen. They can't live in the present moment. And that just takes all of the enjoyment away. Because that's what fun is. It's not knowing what is about to happen. It's letting things play out naturally. It's unpredictable. And yet they're always trying to predict how things are going to pan out with you. Because that's their idea of fun. Their idea of fun is control. That's fun for them. Because they can't be vulnerable. They can't relax and enjoy themselves. Because they're so worried about their image and trying to be better than other people. And it's no fun being around someone like that. And you will find that when you're around them. You can't have a good time. Become tense and uptight. You're worried about what they're going to do next. Because they're unpredictable. But not in a good way. They're always seeking to harm you or get what over on you. Because they're seeking power and control. They're very insecure and they lack self-love. So for them it's all about getting you to see yourself in some type of way. So that they can feel better at your expense. Misery loves company. People who are unhappy take comfort in knowing they're not alone and they're suffering. But because they can't uplift themselves or be uplifted by others. They feel no desire to make you happy. So instead you stay stuck whenever you're around them. The situation never progresses. They deflect their misery and pain onto you. You self-love and then go home with your head down. And that's just the only way that it can be. It's never going to be anything different. You're never going to feel like you actually had a good time. There's always going to be something else playing on your mind. You're never going to feel at peace with yourself. Following an interaction with them. You're always going to second-guess yourself. You're always going to feel like you have to anticipate or predict something they've said or done by guesswork. It's always going to be a head game with them. Where they deceive you by creating illusory ideas. Which is not real. And I've already done a video on this topic as well. The best you will ever get from a narcissist is an illusion. It will never be anything real. It will be based on a deceptive resemblance or false observation. Or influenced by emotions that prevent a clear view. It will only mislead you from the truth. And the truth is that they can't be vulnerable. They can't let their head down because they're too uptight. They have this desperate need for control. Where they can't be themselves around you. Because they feel unlovable. They believe that you would never want the real them. Which results in them having this desperate need for control. Where they create alternate realities and fake worlds. They create all of these different meanings and interpretations. And everything they do always seems rehearsed. Because they fear rejection and exposure. They don't want you to have that upper hand. They don't want you to get went over on them. They're very paranoid and hyper-vigilant. So they're always on edge. They're always waiting for the next shoe to drop. And if you're around them long enough you will become the exact same way. You will become just like them. Because they will train you to be attuned to their emotions. They will make you receptive and aware. Where you're willing to accept new suggestions and ideas. Where you're receiving signals and stimuli. Which make you open and responsive. Yet they will genuinely believe that they are studying and learning you. When all they're actually doing is getting a reflection of themselves. Because they're brainwashing you. Their pressurized you into adopting radically different beliefs. By using systematic and forceful means. When nothing real comes by pressure or force. Because they're using persuasion and intimidation to make you do something. Or to make you react in a certain way. So all they're getting is a reflection of themselves and they're very insecure. They hate themselves. Which just makes them lash out at you even more. But they never actually see the real you. All they see is bits and pieces of them or someone else. Because you can't be yourself around a narcissist. Around someone who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy. Empathy and compassion is what allows us to be ourselves and the company of other people. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. But because they lack empathy you will never be able to be yourself around them. Even when you think that you are. Because even when you respond to certain suggestions or stimuli. Of the love bomb in you or giving you a facade. That's not real. So how can you be real if you're responded as something that isn't real. Which is them being reflected back to you. You can only be real if you identify that what you're interacting with is not real. Which is why the only way you will discover yourself is by leaving them alone. And in time you will find that is what brings you true happiness. Because they lack empathy. They're unable to receive you as you actually are. They have to mold you into what they want you to be. So that they could disown these parts of themselves that they don't like. And assign them to you. And they will always see you as being fake. Or as though something is not right with you. When there's actually nothing wrong with you at all. If you do have empathy. If you do have the ability to share another person's feelings or experiences. By imagining what it would be like to be in their situation. The problem lies with them. Because they lack empathy. They're unable to understand you. And it's because they're weak and insecure. It's because they're unintelligent. They're ignorant and foolish. They can't see what is right in front of their eyes. Because they're self absorbed and they lack empathy. And they're seeking power and control. Because they know that you are intelligent. And that you will naturally be 10 steps ahead of them without even making an effort. So they will become highly skilled in their thinking over time. They feel like they're in a fight for their lives. Which a lot of times they are. Because they're holding on to their false character and the illusion. Which is all that they have in their lives. And as I've said before. There is nothing that they value outside of that. So they know they've got to act fast. They've got to make a decision quickly. And by doing that they accumulate a lot of wrong decisions. Which leads them to the wrong direction. A lot of times all they get is this reflection of themselves because they lack empathy. And you're just reacting to whatever they're throwing at you. You're not taking your time to think and respond from an authentic place. So all they get is bits and pieces of other people. Things that you've learned from someone else. Rather than your true and authentic ideas and beliefs. Which is exactly what they're looking for. But those are also the very things they're never going to get from you. No matter how hard they try. Because they can't be themselves around you. They fear rejection and exposure. So by default all they will ever get from you is this reflection of themselves that they're trying to hide. And when you finally part ways. They will feel like they've got you all figured out. They will feel like they know exactly who you are. When in fact they've just been unknowingly studying themselves. While you will walk away feeling like you're missing out on the fun and enjoyment. Because the entire time they were trying to control you. And when you're being restrained and oppressed. Naturally you're going to have these thoughts and desires. Which they will then assume is who you are and what you're about. Which is why they will then come back with a Hoover and try to entice you sexually. Because they think that's what you want. When in reality. You wanted something more all along. And they may never tell you this. But deep down that's actually what they wanted as well. But they were distracted by other things. Things that weren't even serving them. Because they're very insecure. So they're always looking for control. When that control is the very thing that prevents them from getting what they want in the end. It doesn't prevent you. Because you're free to move on and do what you want to do. You're able to express yourself to anyone who's able to receive it. But they're less stuck. Unable to express their thoughts and feelings unselfconsciously and without restraint. They will never be free and natural. Which is what they wanted all along. But they could never get it because they're just too insecure. Which means that they must obtain power and control at all costs. And it results in them becoming very competitive. What they're always trying to outdo and win up you. They're always trying to fool you because deep down that's exactly how they feel. They feel like they've been fooled. They've been sold and lied. A dream. A fantasy that they're never going to receive. While they see you moving on. And while things may not be perfect for you. You're still able to smile and be happy. You're still able to live your life in a natural way. You're still able to find pleasure in the little things in life. Which is something that they can't do. Which results in you becoming very mysterious to them. To where they wonder why you're so happy. Because they just can't understand where it's coming from. And they're constantly trying to attribute it to things outside of yourself. Because they don't understand that our happiness can be generated from within. They don't know what real happiness even feels like. And that will always remain a mystery to them. But it's also the reason why they come around you in the first place. You may think that it's because of the things you have or the life you live. And while that may be a part of it. It's your glow. Your shine. Your carefree attitude. Of being free from anxiety and responsibility. Which is what attracted them to you initially. But over time they begin to realise that they can't be like that. And they're never going to be like that. So they begin to hate and envy you. And then they decide to take it away from you. By piling on all of these problems, worries and responsibilities. Because they want to destroy that innocent carefree side of you. Once they realise that they can't be like that and they can't receive it. Because once you know what they're about. You can't be that way around them anymore. Which makes them feel like something is wrong with them. So now the last thing they want is for you to be that way with someone else. They will do anything to destroy it. Because that is real love. Love is letting go of everything that you were told you should be. Everything that you were told should matter. And just being in the now and apologetically. And not trying to make the other person into what you want them to be. But just letting them to be themselves. Letting them give you the answers. Based on what they think is important. Without judging them. But just letting them exist as they are. But narcissists are just so full of fear and shame. That they can't ever do that. They will always feel the need to control. And the longer that you are around them. You will find yourself becoming that way as well. But inside of you. That part of you will always be there when it's needed. Because no matter what they do. That's just something they can't take away. Which is why they will always come back with a Hoover to try to entice you. It's not because they actually want to make the effort and give you anything. It's because they know that part of you is not going anywhere. So they might as well use it to their advantage. Instead of being on the receiving end of it. Where it would otherwise overpowered them. It will frustrate them. When they realize that they can't be a part of it. It will make them want to outsmart you and confuse you. It will make them want to make you look and feel bad. To where they will publicly and humiliate. And shame you. Because yes love is a serious threat to their sense of power and control. So they will come back just to prevent you from moving on with someone else. They will try to strip you of your free will. By getting you to cave into your desires with them. Because they already know that it's not going to be real. But if they can't do that they will play the victim. They will make false accusations against you. They will act to show what you're doing is bad or wrong. And now they know. They're on to you. They've figured you out. They've solved the puzzle. There's nothing more to be said. It's the be all and end all. Because they just can't enjoy the journey. It does nothing for them. They're constantly seeking the end goal. Of bringing you down with them. Because that's the only thing that fulfills them. They can't experience real love. So it's all about tearing you down. Because they don't want you to feel like you have something real. Which is why they're so concerned about your consumption and how it leads to your fulfillment. Because while they might consume the very things that you do. They're still not going to get the same result. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive notifications. If you would like to support the channel. You can donate at paybook.me.natsurvivor. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's Natsurvivor the Cuddy Kate. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.