 Oedden nhw i mi. Rhywun ni'n roi'r problem fel ychydig. Felly yna'r dystiad, heb cynllun bwysigwyr. Felly i'r rhai i'w gweld ydym i callu i'r adael. Bryddo'r ddiweddodd drwpl wedi gweld. Roeddwch gofyn y ddechrau ar treato ddyliau cyfaint anodol, gweld bod ni'n bod chi'n helpu i'w ddim. ac yn y cael ei wneud i chi wedi cael ei helpu, a gweithio bod rwy'n fawr bod ni wedi'i helpu i chi. Rwy'n cael ei wneud i chi'r ffordd o'r tŵlau a'r teimlach sydd wedi'i gweithio ar y dyfodol i'r sydd bwysig o'r cyntaf, i gweithio i chi'n bwysig o'r tŵlau a'r tŵr i chi. A gydig i'n meddwl i'n meddwl i'r cwmwyntion gyda'r ddechrau ar y cyfnodau o'r ddysgu'r cyfnodau a'r ddysgu'r cyfnodau a'r ddysgu'r cyfnodau a'r ddysgu'r cyfnodau sy'n meddwl i'r ddechrau, ond rydyn ni'n gwybod, yn y ddechrau ar y ddechrau. Rydyn ni'n gwybod i'n meddwl i'r ddau'r cyfnodau. Mae byw atod, yn r offended. Rwy'n gweithi, Gymraeg dwi'n gweithio perfi ond aron datblygu syddatesaeth. fears26.fm mwy ffordd hon yn i eich envoedd. Nad o'u gorfor, ddechrau mynd bwrdd fathasecondstaeth, ac yn hip ymin, yn fries iysgrinfodd, ac sy'n meddwl i ddechrau iawn i'r ddechrau erw. Well, I'm David, as I've said. I'm Cifah Thorney on just about all the social platforms, and if I estou no Cifah Thorney it's because I forgot my password and don't have access to the e-mail address. I've got cystic fibrosis, cystic fibrosis-related diabetes. What I have personally defined as functional depression, in terms of I can function from day to day, most of the time is about right people's interviews but it is written down to me as a schneller. I can function from day to day most of the time, but I am in an oppressive state. I have imposter syndrome and I have lots of other things that too many labels to reply to one person. I'm a back end developer predominantly, I'm a Drupal specialist since 2009 and I work for a company called Anatech based out of Ireland, but I work remotely from the UK. My last major burnout was in 2016 and my last major case of imposter syndrome actually was earlier today, I forgot to update the slide. Why am I doing this? I want to help promote better health awareness, it's too important. I dislike seeing people suffering in our community and I dislike seeing people leave our community because they feel they've burnt out or because they feel that the community isn't right for them because they are not good enough to be in the community for whatever reason. So I came up with this list of tips and tricks. I must say though I'm not a medical professional in any way shape or form, so your mileage may vary and some of these are kind of mutually exclusive, i.e. it's good for burnout, but it's not particularly good for my imposter syndrome for instance, or vice versa. So these tips can help kickstart your recovery of burnout and hopefully prevent or limit further relapses. I do not believe you can fully recover from burnout, I do not believe you can fully recover from imposter syndrome. But we can minimise it to the point that it is no longer relevant in your life hopefully. What we can't help you with, we can't solve all your problems, you have to want to be willing to accept that you want to help yourself. There is only so far advice can take you. By coming to this talk hopefully you've taken the first step in helping yourself because it was a choice and that there are some other really great alternatives on including social events etc. Some of this advice will not work for you if you are not currently in a good place, i.e. part of my advice is go out into the community. If you're in a position where you do not want to go out, obviously that's not going to work for you at the moment. So what have I tried? I've tried therapy, hypnotherapy and other talking therapies. I've tried putting myself out there, doing things like public speaking. I'm doing one now. I met my Drupal heroes and my mentors. I tried meditation, meditation, headspace, calms, other apps are available. I tried buying stuff, another first world problems style problems rather. And I stuck my head in the sand. I've tried getting a new hobby, I tried starting up old ones again. What worked? Well therapy has helped a lot, particularly hypnotherapy for me, more on that in a moment. And that has helped both my imposter syndrome and my burnout. I've tried putting myself out there. That actually worked for me with regards to my burnout, but it was terrible for my imposter syndrome. I met my Drupal heroes. That actually really helped with my imposter syndrome. It didn't help for burnout because I wanted to do more. A new hobby really helped with my burnout. I stepped away from digital. I attended events such as Drupalcon, Drupalcamps, et cetera, all over UK and Europe. Personally I find that great for burnout, but it is very bad for my imposter syndrome. Changing job worked for me. I'm not saying quit, but if the opportunity arises and you genuinely think a new position, even if it's the same level, so back end developer specialist with some other company, that may help you, consider it, but don't do anything drastic like quit tomorrow because some guy at Drupalcon told you. I also explored me and I mean that at many levels. I mean that in terms of the meditation journey. I mean that in terms of deciding actually I don't care if socks and sandals look silly and I should be locked up by the fashion police, they're comfortable. So what worked? What didn't work? Oops, sorry. Do we get breast space? Meditation didn't actually work for me. I'm not going to promote meditation as a way of helping your imposter syndrome or burnout. It may well work for you. It works for a lot of people. Buying stuff really didn't work and sticking my head in the sand really didn't work either. Although I would hope that it is fairly obvious that sticking your head in the sand will not help. So I tried multiple types of therapy. Hypnotherapy worked really, really well for me compared with other talking therapies that are available through the National Health Service, which is the healthcare service within the UK. It's different to other talking therapies and it is only available privately. I'm in a very privileged position and I'm able to afford to do this. It allowed me to see the wood for the trees, work out which problems I needed to work on first, prioritise, choose your wording. And that allowed me to work out what I could let go very easily. And some of those surprised me. I would have thought they were bigger problems for me than they actually were. And in the three-ish years I've been working with my hypnotherapist, I would have said some of what I would have considered core issues if you just said what's your biggest problem. They actually weren't. They were gone within six months. We are getting to the point now, hopefully, that we're dealing with what are my core issues because the same things are coming up over and over again. That to me suggests they're bigger issues. And I will continue to work with hypnotherapy and encourage people who are in a position to be able to afford it to do so. And if you're not, I encourage you to try to find a way of looking at alternatives to what might be available through your insurance provider or healthcare system nationally. There might be people that are willing to do pro bono work, I don't know. There might be charities that help with donations for this kind of thing. Putting myself out there, as it were, really, really helped. And this is part of my continuing journey with putting myself out there. I'm talking at Drupalcom. For a Drupalist, or to me at least, there is no higher honour. It's one of the top two, in effect, places to talk about Drupal. It's also the most difficult thing to do from an imposter syndrome perspective. Who wants to listen to me talking about burnout in imposter syndrome? Roughly 25 people, I think, apparently. That's brilliant. I was hoping for double figures. It's marginally easier from a burnout perspective for me because I find particularly things like Drupalcom are so energetic, it's infectious. And it pulls in inspiration for me to want to go away, do something, learn something. That doesn't work for everyone, though. I'm very, very aware, I'm potentially more unusual in that regard. But the infectious energy I got from Driesi's keynote on Tuesday or some of the other sessions that I've been to today has really helped me from a burnout perspective. It's Drupalcom, it's not a holiday, but it feels as good as a holiday to me. As I say, I've attended things like Drupalcom Dublin in 2016, spoken at many local user groups. Drupalcamp London, Drupal Europe last year, and now Drupalcom. And each time the area I have spoken about has been different, but it's been targeted to a different-sized audience. Drupal Europe, I went particularly niche, Drupalcamp London. I went for something that would hopefully attract a similar-sized audience to this. This has a potentially unlimited audience because I do believe it affects everybody. I've got future plans to continue putting myself out there. I speak French and Spanish to a level standard, which is exams we take at school at 18. I want to do this talk in Spanish and or French within the next 12 months. I'm actively seeking ways to help me to do that in terms of how in the world do I say half of these terms in Spanish properly, because what I look up in the dictionary is not necessarily what people say. And I also find pushing myself to the point of discomfort really important. It's one of those things that I... It just energises me in an unusually large way. I feel I have to say that because most people I know don't find that. I'm actually going to leave that slide in twice. Meeting my Drupal mentors and heroes, these are some of my colleagues at Anatech. Yes, this is partly suck up, but they are also my mentors. I personally don't believe the don't meet your heroes you'll be disappointed is a thing. You should meet your heroes and your mentors, because you'll discover they're human. You'll discover they have imposter syndrome. You might even discover that actually the areas you feel you are good in are areas they struggle in. More on that in a moment. I work with amazing people. I've learned so much from them, from a back end of support, a front end perspective. It really helps. Really should read my slides more carefully, more often. Mark in particular really, really helped me. He's front end lead at Anatech. He's taught me more about front end than I actually needed to know, but I did want to know. He inspired me to contribute to CORE through the Out of the Box initiative. Ironically it got me my second patch into CORE. I didn't realise some documentation I had contributed a long time ago got in. To me it was my first contribution to CORE because I knew I was actively contributing to CORE. He helped me rebuild my confidence by actually asking me to mentor him for back end work and vice versa. He refers other Anatech staff to me rather than somebody else helping me realise I do actually know things which really helps my imposter syndrome. Slightly less helpful on the burnout because I am the sort of person that will go that extra mile, but that's a personal thing. It didn't work, meditation. My mind just doesn't work that way. I couldn't quiet my mind. I solved lots of debug problems. I found plenty of missing semicolons in my head, but I couldn't quiet my mind. Meditation does teach you to just allow that to happen, but within five, ten minutes of finishing a 20 minute session, I was raging about the same thing that caused me to walk away in the first place, which is why I say for me it doesn't work. Buying stuff. I would hope that it's fairly self-explanatory why buying stuff you do not need doesn't help you with either burnout or imposter syndrome. It led to debt. It led to fear of I have to work to pay this off. Oh God, how am I going to do it? Nobody wants to lie to me. Same with ignoring it. I would hope this is self-explanatory. Just don't. Find someone you can talk to. It doesn't matter whether it's a family member, a close friend, a work colleague. Everybody is having problems with this. To an extent it doesn't matter what industry. It might help talking to someone outside of our industry for you as an individual. Personally I have found that doesn't help because I'm an analytical mind. I'm technically detailed and they can't keep up with what I'm trying to say because I will moan about Line 76's semicolon or why does the Drupal error message about entity reference keep looping because you've accidentally referenced the entity reference field yet again. So where do we go from here? As I've said, I'm personally doing nothing special. I want to put these ideas out. I want to start a conversation within the community. I've got some ideas that I'm going to put up probably on a page on groups.drupal.org specialising around mental health. I will make sure that that goes into notes on my session page once I work out how to put notes on my session page about that. One of the things we're going to look into doing initially is getting a list of places people can go to and find help, so charities within the UK that might be able to help you. I will need help filling that in for other countries. Once that is set up, I will make sure it's spread far and wide. I will speak to people in the diversity and inclusion initiative, speak to people in contribution and mentoring initiative, speak to the DA to try and get that message out. And hopefully, given we've got representation in a large portion of the world, we will relatively quickly be able to produce a list of places that people can turn to whether you're from the UK, whether you're from Holland, Russia, America. I also feel that it's important to realise there is no one solution to the problems. I also feel in line with what Boris was saying in his keynote yesterday sometimes you just have to accept that more burnout is going to happen and you need to spend that week in bed. I have started as an individual pushing hard with actually listening to my body. If I need to sleep, I go to sleep, I don't care if it's four in the afternoon. I'm lucky enough to work for a remote company that's very understanding and realise that not everyone can fall asleep at their desk at four o'clock in the afternoon and it not matter. But even if that's, I get home at six and pretty much go straight to bed and then wake up at two in the morning. I feel so much better for listening to my body that it puts me in an automatically more positive place because I realise things aren't as bad as they were eight hours earlier. Small stats. As I say, talking about ideas, where do we go from here, I'm going to see, I don't know if individuals can create channels in Slack. I'm also going to try and get a Slack channel started for this where we can push around ideas. I don't want it to be a I am so and so help me with this but I would also hope that if someone does ask that we are able to direct them to the right place in terms of, I don't know, the Samaritans which is a UK charity, mind which is a UK charity or your national equivalent. So, any questions? So, can you describe what exactly is imposter syndrome? Yeah, sure, so for the benefit of the recording the question was what exactly is imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is feeling like you are an imposter, someone who shouldn't be where they are. So, as a back-end developer in a group of really talented other back-end developers I might not feel good enough to be part of that circle. It's feeling do I actually know enough to do this? Do I think that people will listen to me? Have I got something I can contribute? Or that is what it is to me. I don't actually know what the psychological definition of imposter syndrome is. I'm too scared to look it up. Because I will find some other definition in a hypochondriac kind of way, think, oh God, I've got that too. So basically feeling not good enough? To me that's what it is, yes, feeling not good enough. And I found the reason I found putting myself out there particularly good for dealing with mind-poster syndrome was, or why I thought it would be really good for mind-poster syndrome was it would help show me that actually I can do this. It's taken a lot of Drupal columns, a lot of Drupal camps for me to start realising that. I've been walking around today, I've been having conversations with people who remember me from two, three Drupal columns ago, which is great. That actually helped me more than being in a conversation with Driess in 2011 about why I wanted to contribute to Drupal. But don't get me wrong, I valued that connection with Driess. So, if you want to contact me, here's several ways and a link to the presentation. I will make sure that the presentation is updated and made available through the Ancelam website as well. And finally, if you are ever feeling useless, remember someone made a protective cover for the Nokia 3310. There is always going to be someone or something worse off. And contribution days, please come along tomorrow and help, contribute if you can. I unfortunately can't, but I will be doing so when I get home. And please fill in the session questionnaires. I want your feedback, I want to improve and develop this. I want to take this on the road and talk at various places. I need to know where I've gone wrong, above and beyond. I will check my slides again and again and again. Thank you very much.