 Fire and Rubber Company, world's largest manufacturers of low-priced fires, presents another half hour of music and entertainment in connection with the introduction of General's revolutionary corkscrew-bryp non-kid fire. We announced an unusuality for hundreds of young men in all parts of the country. It was a rather long announcement, parting somewhat from our customary use of radio. We have been greatly pleased with the many responses from the listening public favorite, the most ratified to receive hundreds of right-of-way pockets. Here he is in person. Thank you, Don. I wasn't heard of this, folks. Well, ladies and gentlemen, this being the start of the school season for the children, we are going to dedicate tonight's program to the kids, the future presidents of this country. Of course, 10.30 p.m. is rather late to broadcast to the children, only the Pacific. Oh, Don, say, when I was a kid eight years old, I never got to bed until 7 p.m. 7 p.m.? Yeah, I was always a sucker for those night clubs, you know. Of course, we lived on a farm, you know, and most of the time I'd go to bed with the chickens and the roosters. Well, didn't they mind? No, about midnight a rooster would look over at me and say, just another egg, you know. Well, anyway, Jack, I think it's a swell idea of putting on a program for the school children. I think so, Don. You know, it brings us back to the days when we were kids. You remember your school days, Don? I sure do. Oh, I was a bright pupil, too, Jack. I was first in reading, writing, and sex appeal. First in sex appeal? Well, yes. And do you know who was in my class? Who? Clark Gable. Well, you're not in his class now, Don. You know, I was pretty good at school myself, really. I was first in mathematics, geography, and hooky. Don, when you went to school, did you ever play hooky? No, just basketball and tennis. Well, hooky isn't quite as strenuous, but I'm sure you would have liked it. You know, Don, I played hooky for four years and never saw the inside of the school. Oh, don't kid me. Yep. And when my father wanted me to go to West Point, but I hated to stay away from there, too, so I didn't go, you know, I think. Well, Jack, you were on the wrong path. Why do you know that Abraham Lincoln thought nothing of walking 10 miles to school every morning? Well, I don't think so much of it myself. Not only that, but, but he used to spend hours reading books alongside of a dim oil lamp. Well, I do that, too, but where can you get a lamp nowadays, you know? Mary had a little lamp. Oh, hello. Hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. What's on the bill affair tonight? Oh, I'm glad you got here early. We're doing a kiddie program tonight. See, why didn't you tell me I would have had my hair curled? You look all right. You know, Mary, we were just talking about the days when we were kids, you know, school and everything. You remember your school days? Do I? I was some kid, too. The teacher gave me some of the best marks in our class. I don't believe it. Well, they're all healed up now. Oh, I thought so. What public school did you go to, Mary? Vassar. Vassar? That's a college. You don't go there until you graduate public school. You see, public school prepares you for Vassar. I know, Jack, but I was so dumb I had to go to Vassar to prepare myself for public school. I see, I see. Well, what did you take up at Vassar? I started to learn medicine. I wanted to be a doctor. Oh, that's marvelous, Mary. Why did you quit? How would I look with a silk hat and a beard? You're right. You're right after all. I don't blame you. So then I took up telephone surgery. Telephone surgery? What's that? I learned to operate on a switchboard. Get out of here. Get out. Scat, scat. Well, here I am. What are you, what of it? Hello. Oh, say, Jack, by the way, I saw a preview of that picture you made, transatlantic merry-go-round. Oh, did you? How is it, Bert? Oh, it's swell. I mean, how am I in it? Well, Jack, you know, after all, Rome wasn't built in a day. I should never have asked that. Wilson, this is Bert Wheeler. Bert, this is Don Wilson, our announcer. Hello, Don. Uh, Wheeler, did you say? Yes, Bert Wheeler of Wheeler and Wolsey. I don't care where he's from, every Wheeler should have the general tire because it has the non-skid porkscrew grip and it's bull out-proof. Does he mean me, Jack? No, no, no, the tire. All right, stay, play, Don. Boy, Hannibal, that was, uh, that was Don Vester and his boys playing Don's own composition Contended. And now for the children's entertainment. Those of you who listened last week will remember we had a school day program. But after the first day, we fired all of the pupils and hired new ones for this week. We thought our school act was all right, but here's a criticism we received from a professor at Catherine Cornell University. He says, uh, listen to Jack Benny's aerial school days, and although he had lots of pupils, he had no class. The, uh, the plot was prosaic. What's prosaic, Mary? A town in New Jersey. Oh, that's right. Prosaic, New Jersey. That's near Paterson. Well, anyway, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we have a lot of new pupils and we will start our school act immediately. Janitor, open that schoolhouse, ring that bell, lift that barge, hold that bail. Play, Don. Oh, dang, oh, red mistake, far to that tune of a hang, green mistake. And me and John who were, we were. A head to cheese, studies and tongue go down. Say, Lois woman, with your diamond ring, when we were a couple of years. Children be seated. I will now call the roll. Frankie Parker Jr. Here I am teacher. I am right here. Don Bester Jr. A little horse this morning, Don. Walter Winchell Jr. You can poke me a saying without fear of contradiction that I'm here. That's something I never noodle now. Mary Livingston. Oh, I'm here. I never missed a program yet. Where? Right here with Bert Wheeler. Dorothy Lee didn't show up. Do you want to play school, Bert? Yeah, Jack. Anything to kill he is. All right, all right. Bert Wheeler Jr. Absent. We're not serving anything. Eddie Cantor. Eddie Cantor Jr. I'm right here, teacher, but my daughter's from Hollywood making a picture. Freddie Allen Jr. Funny thing happened to me, teacher, on my way to school this morning. I'll tell you about it. It seems a woman got on the bus. Never mind. Are you here? Are you here or not? No. That's all I wanted to know. Don Wilson Jr. General Tyre. He's here. Rudy Vallee Jr. Hi, all everybody. Little Rodious here again. Harpo Marx Jr. What's that? Stupnegel and Bud Jr. I'm here, teacher. Are you there, Bud? I'm here. We're short of access. Oh. Well, I guess everybody's here. Before we begin our lessons for the day, we will have our usual morning exercises. Stand up, children. Now, throw out your chest. Heads up. Hands on hip. Now pull out your bottles and put them on teacher's desk until after school. Exercise is over. Now for the first lesson today, we will take up radio. Turn to page three, Broadcasting. Frankie Parker Jr., do you know your radio songs? Yes, teacher. Let's have it. Christina Jack. What time, Bert? At 11.30. Okay. And look the whole world in the face. Party, you old, not any man. Week in, week out from born till night. You can hear his bellows glow. Good night, teacher. Good night, Don. I won't be here tomorrow. Who's keeping you home? Your father and mother? No, McLaren and Rod. You can hear him swing his heavy flage with measured beats and mellows, like a sexton ringing the village bell when the evening sun is low. Good night, teacher. Good night, Johnny Wood. Thanks very much for doing this presentation. You're welcome. A bunch of the boys were whooping it up under a spreading set of trees. One in-walked a girl whose name was Lou, even as you and me. Little both teased she lost some sleep and didn't know where to find us. And Mary had a little lamb, and there it was behind her. So little boys, Lou, come blow your eyes. Tonight's the cause of the very flattering interest which has been expressed by the car owners of our audience. This is a nice little broadcasting trouble. 11 o'clock, Eastern daylight savings. AF, New York.