 So a few days ago, I was asked by a leader of a certain organization to stop referring to it as a cult in my YouTube videos. Now that organization, I used to be a part of that organization for years and eventually it happened so that personally I feel I was pushed out of it because I started questioning and bringing up questions and thoughts that were not aligned with the vision of the organization. I think we don't see eye-to-eye to that. I think in that organization, nobody considers that I was pushed out. It's kind of presented in a way that I was just, I decided to leave, but that's a different story. And I'm not going to bring up the records to show you what happened and how, so I don't want to get too much into it. But after I left that organization, for the next few years, I started reflecting back and expanding my knowledge and I came to conclusion. Based on various arguments that that organization could be categorized as a cult. And I started reflecting about that and exploring that in my YouTube videos on the new channel, The Journey, and bringing up the subject of cult-like behavior, cult-like mentality and reflecting through my own experience of what impact that had on me. And that's why I would come up sometimes and I would say, you know what, I consider that I used to be a part of a cult. Now, after some of those videos were released, the leader of that organization, as I said, connected up with me this week and requested me or asked me to stop referring to it as a cult. The argument was because it hurts him. Now, I don't know, you know, it's hard to say whether that was meant as in a personal way, you know, that it's painful for him or was that or if that meant on a business scale, like, you know, it's hurt, it's potentially hurting his business. But he didn't point out business. The quote was that it hurts me that you're, you know, referring to the community as a cult and he asked me to stop doing that. My counter, my counter argument to that was besides having arguments why I shouldn't do that besides hurting him, my counter argument was that I am doing a very, I'm really focused on making sure that I do not point any fingers to that organization. Like if you will watch all of those videos, I never name the name and surname of that leader. I never named the organization. I don't say where it is, what it's based on. And sure, if you really dig down those videos, you may figure that out because, you know, it's my history. It's what happened. But I do my best for the past few years to never point any fingers at it, to not put any targets. And basically just the way I see it, I'm basically just exploring my own experience and reflecting back about the things that happened. And it happened so, you know, that I ended up coming to that conclusion that it is a cult. And the reason I'm actually recording this video because I recorded another video yesterday and that video was, I used the so-called bike model by Stephen Hassan, a famous person who's combating cults on the scientific level. He wrote numerous books on the cult's cult mentality, how to understand it, how to leave it, how to overcome, you know, the residue of its implications. And, you know, he's a smart guy and he created a bike model which helps you perceive and brings up right now as I'm talking, which lets you perceive if things that are happening are going to the left, then, you know, it's more of a healthy organization. If they're going to the right, it is a destructive cult. And when I looked at that model myself and on that video, I brought it up and I gave numerous examples of what happened when I was in that organization and that just leads me to come to that conclusion that it was a cult. But the issue is now that I decided to make this video, I recorded that video, argumenting why I consider that organization without pointing any fingers about bringing up what the organization is, where it's located, anything, just looking at my personal experience, I brought up arguments why I categorized it as a cult, why that's my conclusion. But the thing is, I realized, as I recorded it, that I have a difficult time and the reason for that is because I started having these internal doubts and thinking, you know, what if I am hurting that person or what if he's right? And, you know, I'm, he actually, so one of his arguments was he claimed that I am being a bully. And I quote, you know, quote unquote, I mean not quote unquote, but that was his quote, you know, he said I am a bully and he defined that a bully in his experience is a person who does things out of financial gain and entertainment. The way I see it, I presume, you know, that was just he was describing me. His assumption is that I am doing this for finances, for money, and for my entertainment, I guess, you know, he didn't clarify whether my own entertainment or the entertainment of other people. It's hard to say, but basically the claim was that I am a bully. Another argument that was made at the very end of the conversation of the exchange on Messenger was that I'm hurting also all the other core members of the organization, which used to be close friends of mine. We never connected with 90% of them, even one bit after I left the organization, nobody, you know, reached out to me and I didn't pursue relationships with them either. But the leader of the organization in that exchange, he pointed out that I'm hurting them as well. And he went as far as to make a list of all those people. It was like, I don't know, like six or eight people just naming names, you're hurting this person, you're hurting this person. And that was kind of the main argument. And I think, you know, that plays with my conscience and my desire to be a good person, that when he made those arguments, despite them being weak arguments, you know, I didn't get some strong arguments, which would explain why this is a unethical behavior that I am doing this. I gave some counter arguments. I brought up the example of Andrew Cohen. Andrew Cohen is a well-known spiritual teacher in the States. And he was like top figure in the spiritual world for years, not decades. And eventually, his students wrote a book about him, he's taught students, revealing that actually he's a very abusive individual and that he actually created a lot of negative impact in their lives. And they even went as far as to ask for a either psychologist or psychiatrist, they need to double check, but basically like a professional to look through their experiences. And he pointed out, based on all the stories that actually that's behavior which is common for narcissists. So basically, they point out and show that that spiritual teacher was a narcissist, is a narcissist, that he created a cult. And he created a lot of bad influences despite talking high things about, you know, spirituality being this, you know, losing your ego and stuff like that. And when they wrote that book, he eventually acknowledged and said, you know what, I realized that was wrong. He apologized and basically took him down. Now for me, that's an excellent example. I think that's great that they spoke out because usually in cults, the first thing you're not suggested to do is, you know, to refer to them as a cult to speak your mind to go on record. And another thing that actually, when I was investigating about cult like mentality and reading articles online, one of the arguments said like if you want to identify a cult, one of the good points is if a lot of different people are expressing the same negative things about the community, about the organization, you know, they're all pointing out, you know, this doesn't seem fair, this doesn't seem fair. And it's a significant number of people, usually that's a sign that it may be a cult. And that was my experience too. I know a whole amount of a whole not handful like like doesn't at least it doesn't maybe two dozens of people who probably at least two dozen people who left that organization as well because they were thinking different things and eventually or they didn't like the things which were happening around. And so that, you know, that only pushed me further to feel like there's something wrong. And for me, it feels it's important that makes it important to speak up speak out your mind. And I'm not like, you know, even they're making a direct war with that organization. I'm not, I'm not, you know, trying to put off everyone against them. But I do feel it's important for me to go go public and to talk about my experience to reflect about it, not only by myself, but also with experts. That's what I did on this channel. I discussed the subject with experts and applying to do that even more. But then I get this message, you know, of telling me that I am I'm hurting them and I should stop doing that. And when I gave the when I gave the argument of Andrew Cohen and saying, you know, it do you and I asked, do you agree or do you see that there's a chance that your organization is actually occult, but it's not internally recognized? And the fact that you're asking me to more or less the way I see censor my my opinion, to censor my my self expression about it, my my reflections, my public reflections, that is already that is kind of like a red flag that that shows almost like a sign of occult. And and that's and having keeping all of that in mind, that there is a chance that it is occult, they just don't recognize it. And it's actually good that I'm doing that. But again, despite all of that, the reason I wanted to record this video is to double check and to ask your opinion. As my audience as my as my viewers, I value feedback. And I when I put out videos, I've done that already before in the past, when I put out some videos on my YouTube channel. And sometimes I see like a sounding board, you know, I put out something. And if a lot of people are saying, you know, actually broke us, I think you're, you're taking this wrong way, I think you're heading off in the wrong direction. I always listen into it, especially if it's like a significant amount of people. And, and I make amends, you know, and I learn my lesson, and I move on in a, you know, a better way. And that's what I wanted to do right now. Before I published that other video that I reported yesterday of, of making my arguments, why I consider my experience to be categorized as a cult experience, being a part of a cult and giving examples. What do you think, you know, maybe, you know, because there is, I like to say, you know, there's always in a car accident, there's always two drivers which are at fault. And maybe the one one of them is, you know, like tiny bit, he just looks like, you know, he just barely made anything, but he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. But still, you know, they were both involved. And I think it's always important to ask yourself, you know, what if there is something that I'm doing wrong? And, and of course, I have my arguments, you know, I have my line of thought. I have my examples, et cetera, et cetera. But there is a slight chance, or let's say, you know, it's, I guess, let's be humble, let's say there's a chance that I am a bully, that I am doing this for financial and entertainment reasons. And, and that I'm hurting them now hurting them, that's kind of the tricky one. Because if we're talking about emotions, if we're talking about me hurting them as individuals, you know, it's not, I don't know if it's fair to ask someone to stop talking just because it hurt someone. But let's say it was implied that I'm hurting their business. Now again, I do want to bring back the argument that I am not directly pointing any fingers. I never say who I'm talking about. I am just discussing about my experience, bringing up examples from my personal experience. And I have to be honest, I'm also concerned that the reason I don't want to censor myself, and this doesn't seem to me like a good deal to just stop talking about it because I feel it's important to, to, to, because there are people who were parts of legitimate cults. And I know myself that my experience, you know, left me psychological scars, it left me negative implications that I have to still kind of overcome. That's what I'm exploring in this channel. And, and when I go on record and share my experience, share my examples, I know that it helps other people as well. Some people reach out to me and said, you know, I went through the same and thanks for talking about that. Now I better understand my experience. Now I know that I'm not alone. So I see the benefit of it. And my concern is if I would choose to agree to stop talking about my experience and referring to that organization and my experience as a being a part of a cult, then suddenly I don't have any more kind of ground base to work from, even if I would continue to talk about cults online and would not give any examples from my personal experience and would not say, you know, I think I was part of a cult because I'm not talking about it because, you know, I was asked not to. And I'm shutting down that part and valuable exploration is cut off. But yet again, let's, let's play this game, you know, let's, let's do this. Let's say I am hurting them. I am hurting their business, which is like, there's a chance, you know, people, there are people who are part of that organization and they listen to my videos. And I actually know of some examples already that, you know, they listen to my videos. And after a while, I know one individual who thought I'm full of shit. But after a year or two of watching my videos, he started to recognize, he started to perceive that what I'm saying in his opinion is true. And he left that organization. So, you know, so that's obviously hurting their business from the inside. But that's, you know, that's, that's not my main intention. That's not my goal. I would, I would, even in the previous video, I said, I would go on a very different route. If I would want to hurt them, you know, that's just the side effect, which I just can't avoid. But again, I, you know, I keep going in circle sites. So let's come back to you. You know, do you think I'm being unfair? Do you think it's unethical that I'm exploring my opinion? And I am referring to that experience as being part of a cult, that I'm referring to that organization as a cult, even without, you know, naming it. And I'm exploring that opinion on record. Do you think it's unfair? Do you think it's unethical? Do you think I am being a bully? If you want some more examples and want to, you know, go dig into it and check out whether, you know, I'm really being a bully or not. There's some videos, you know, I'll leave them in the, in the, in the descriptions. You can check them out and, and tell me, you know, do you think I am being a bully there? Do you think I'm doing this for financial reasons, entertainment reasons, clickbait reasons that was brought as well, that I'm doing this, I'm using them as a clickbait? And yeah, if I'm being unfair and unethical, and if I should stop doing it, or do you think this is actually good? And, and yeah, and the very last thing I wanted to share right here right now, what's my concern is, and again, maybe whether you agree with that or not, because there were no solid arguments, basically what it potentially, the way I see that exchange was mainly just guilting me, making me feel guilty and making me feel ashamed of my actions, which, interestingly enough, is again, Stephen Hassan specifically points out that's a powerful and common tool of cults to shame people, to create a phobia, to create a fear, you know, that to distort their reality, to put things in a perspective where you don't get it, you're wrong. And that's what I feel like I'm concerned that that's exactly what happened with me. I wanted to publish that video, but I felt, I felt hesitant because I thought, what if, you know, what if I am making this stuff up? What if I am wrong? What if, you know, all of this is not true, and they are not a cult? But there is also a chance that that is actually just a sign of that that's actually exactly, you know, what being a former member of a cult is like, and being, I could almost say, being bullied to deny your experience or to openly talk about it, distorting your reality, making you doubt in yourself, making you doubt your narrative, making you doubt your own thoughts and experience, and hide it from others. And basically doing that by playing with your conscience, by making you feel guilty and, and, you know, talking about, talking about pain, playing the victim, you know, there's many things which could be accredited as not appropriate from that side of the exchange. And, and there's suspicion and suspiciousness in me that that could be also true. So, but let's, you know, let's, let's play this game together. Let's do it together. You know, let's, let's do this mental exercise together. You heard what I said, and, and, you know, if I am considering, and I think, you know, the, the funny part is, I am considering about sharing that, that exchange so you could see, you know, that I'm not lying, just without obviously showing who said what, just without showing, showing, you know, names to, to not, to not make it, you know, public, to not, again, to not make this legal or whatever. But just to give it as, as an example, but also there's a bit of a fear in me because, oh man, I'm going to hurt that person if I will, you know, is this correct? Is this specifically correct? If I will share, you know, private conversation, this and that. But I am considering that, you know, maybe I can, if you have doubts, I can show that maybe there is an option you tell me, you know, to show that conversation and, and to see whether the communication was appropriate from that end, because it was a bit suspicious, you know, there were no good arguments, solid arguments, it was mainly just, oh, we did so much good for you and, and you're doing this for us, you're hurting us, you're hurting this person, you're hurting that person, you're being a bully, you're doing this for money, well, all of that, you know, it's a question whether that's an appropriate way of communicating and if that's an appropriate claim. Now, it just occurred to me right now, but I'd like some evidence, you know, I do like evidence, like is there evidence that I'm doing this just for money? Like this channel, the journey, I get like $20 per month for it right now. I'm not doing this for money, if I would want money, I would continue doing martial arts journey videos, which make more. Am I doing this for entertainment? Some of the videos are not really entertaining for me, it's tough, it's hard for me to talk about that stuff. I have to be, I have to expose myself and be vulnerable. So there's all of that. So, you know, if I'm being a bully and being an ethical, I'd like some evidence, I guess, but that's, you know, that's a whole different subject. Now let's draw the line here. Do you think I'm being an ethical? Do you think I should stop referring to that organization as a cult? Do you think I'm being a bully? Or we keep the journey going? Let me know in the comments. I really want to hear your feedback. I really appreciate it. And yeah, looking forward.