 Here's what we're going to do today. We're going to work on leadership and leadership doesn't mean that you have to be the boss and Boss people around it could mean that you want to have a greater impact in the work that you do in the community You live in in this Unbelievable community we could talk more about that or just for yourself Because we're going to work on leading self today I'm going to give you the roots of it and if you're grateful dead fan, you know the illusion I just made and We are going to practice the best way adults learn as you know is by doing So that's why I'm asking you to sit with somebody We're going to work on a few things together kind of like appetizers So as soon as you get into it, you will see me waving wildly that it's time to stop talking and We'll do that over and over again till you get mad enough at me that we can stop And then I'll give you a few resources at the end if you're curious to learn more There's a lot on the web that you can do and books if you like to read and the neighbor that you just met Hopefully you're sitting next to somebody you don't even know and we'll get into that in a minute. So Where does this come from I am going to start by Giving you a story of myself very briefly I'm an old lady. I woke up in my 50th year and I felt Empty which made no sense. I had been a partner in McKinsey, which is a worldwide consulting firm for a long time. I Had a husband. I still love I have two beautiful children daughters Amazing. I live in an apartment in New York City. If you ever there it faces the park It's pretty nice and I have a farm Yes, I have cows and chickens and goats and sheep and all kinds of stuff And so I wake up in my 50th year and I feel Empty and worse than that. I felt invisible and You might think why is she wearing such a colorful dress if she feels invisible all the time? And it's because the organizer said there would be a black curtain here and not to wear black because you would be invisible then Okay So I wake up on this day and I go to my husband David who is an ex Israeli paratrooper You kind of know what that looks like and I say I feel empty and David says Why don't you buy yourself a pair of shoes? So I go. Yeah, I know He says and if I can say it in this audience you're going through your changes. It's all gonna be fine By the shoes I buy the shoes two weeks later. It comes back to me Why do I feel this way and I thought it's because I'm not a leader if I were a leader You know leaders tend to be like really pretty tall. They come into the room. They talk to each other and they never even saw me It could be because I am under five feet tall I'm not sure or it could be something else and I thought I'm gonna go and Talk to these unbelievable successful women all over the world and I'll talk to men leaders, too I will find out what they have that I am missing and when I get that I'm gonna drink that and I'm gonna share it with anybody who will listen and David says this is a great idea You got to give this a name that will make the men think it's important and so I decided to call it the Blair Witch Project Until I found out that somebody had already taken that name. So I broke the rule I called it a McKinsey centered leadership project. Why centered? We'll find out I Interviewed men and women all over the world here a couple of pictures of some amazing people including Christine Lagarde now the IMF or There's that's John Donahoe who briefly ran eBay or Andrea Jung who was now running Grameen Bank Who was running Avon at the time and one gessie mutu who's an unbelievably talented artist from Kenya and there was also Couple of other well, there were 200 now. It's up to like 600 people. I keep interviewing people I'm pretty shy and I love to hear people's stories and this is what came from that research We did look at all the available research if you're interested in leadership You should know there are at least 350,000 books on the topic almost all of them are written by men for men and They're pretty good. I'm sure but we also looked at evolutionary psychology and gender studies We looked at all kinds of psychology positive psychology and therein lies the secret it's cross Fields we did a global survey with men and women from small medium and large companies Who work and wanted to take this survey with us? And we found out that centered leadership is as good for all kinds of people as it is for women and we've been in the field for over 15 years teaching it and proselytizing and I proselytize because at its core It's really quite simple It's self-awareness the ability to understand what is going on in myself right now to be able to step back and Pause to make a choice to recognize that what is happening in me is my choice I can practice with new skills and new tools and I can change if I choose or stay as I am and If I do that simple thing which takes a lifetime to learn That I will have greater resilience. I will perform at a higher rate and frankly. I will have more fulfillment and that is what I learned I learned that nothing was missing in me But in fact it was all there. I chose not to use it and That why was it that I fell in love with every single person I interviewed and I saw their faults. I Saw what limited them and it didn't stop me from loving them But I couldn't do that at the time to myself This is the gist of centered leadership Helping you to manage your thoughts your feelings and your actions in order to have a greater impact Not just on yourself on the people around you and on your organization or community and there's nothing wrong with that So it has five pieces. That's it. I couldn't remember these for the first year of doing this work So if you don't remember it, that's okay. I'll be repeating this quite often and we'll go through each one We'll taste it meaning which is about living into your own strengths And we'll do an exercise on that framing and reframing which is about in the middle of an upset Stepping back to be curious about yourself. What is going on in me and the ability to shape shift? Connecting building trust between people. We'll work on that engaging which is taking risk and Then owning that without self-blame and judgment and then finally Energizing because we all work and live so hard and we often forget that we are giving out energy all the time And we need to recover and renew and that's part of our responsibility So we're going to go through all of those and these five it turns out Are the distinguishing factors between being a good leader or manager and a remarkable one? And my on my book committee was a fellow no longer with us We're in Venice the father of leadership and he said to me Joanna Why five I mean I wrote the books I wrote 16 books just so you don't forget and there are 23 leadership traits So how come you have just five and I realized in that moment. This is the difference This is not everything it takes to be a great leader, but these are the only things that matter so Why is that it starts with you think of yourself and everybody you don't know in this room as an iceberg So it's chilly in here, right? And you see you see and you judge it's normal. It's human you look at people and you say What do they look like what do they say or not say what are they doing or not doing and then we make a judgment? That's behavior But just like you don't know anything about me and I don't know anything about you Underneath the waterline are all these thoughts and feelings that we have that we never disclose We're in a meeting and we suddenly get angry and we forget to say I'm angry we just Bark at the other person and then underneath that sometimes we don't even know it about ourselves or the Mindsets the values the beliefs that we hold True and then way at the bottom beyond the grasp of most of us and certainly I don't know about you and you don't know it about me, but that's who we really are That is who we are at our deepest most human being What is it? We need that we are not getting in the moment that causes the behavior to shift and so we're gonna work on just becoming curious about ourselves and From there we're gonna gain greater happiness performance resiliency Pretty cool. So Are you with me so far? okay To do this we have to take a small risk and I promise you no one will be hurt and Yes, you will be uncomfortable You have to be uncomfortable because we're gonna leave what makes us comfortable in order to learn and grow Okay, I got one lady with me and what about the rest he is? All right, so we have to withhold judgment about ourselves and We have to enter an open space So I'm gonna do the scariest thing I'm gonna do today Which is to ask everybody here to Unwind our feet and our arms if they're all wrapped up just unwind them Get your feet on the floor if you're short like me you might have to squidgey up technical term and When you're ready, I'm going ahead of you Please close your eyes and take a deep breath in some of you know this from mindfulness and An even deeper breath out. Let's do it again more time and start to feel yourself relaxing from the top of your head Through the small muscles in your face Feel any tension from today or home just dripping away Feel your neck Getting longer as your shoulders drop feel the tension flowing out through your arms and into your legs and Through them through your feet and into the floor Feel the floor and the chair holding you safe and of course our brains are always active. I Invite you to bring your attention to your breathing to the sensation of The air coming in and out of your nose of Your chest rising and falling and you might feel your neighbor or Hear a noise And that's okay Just gently and easily Bring your attention Back to your breathing and so we go From our breath To our thoughts and gently back To our breath and if you would be so kind Take a moment in this state and think back over the past year To a moment in your work or in your life Where you were at a peak at a high point Where everything was going your way where you were filled with positive energy Where you were achieving impact in your work take a moment and put yourself back and Relive that experience that moment as You see yourself. What is it that you value most? About yourself because what gives you positive energy and what you most value are Your strengths. They are not your skills eyes pointed at the floor Slowly slowly open them up coming back into the room picking your head up Looking around at all these amazing people Smiling because they're gonna help you grow And you're helping them grow if you like Take a stretch and I'm going to invite you to spend literally three minutes Talking to one neighbor about your strengths Now neighbor you also will talk about your strengths So for the very shy people in the room, I suggest you go first Because I do know from experience what happens For three minutes you are fully engaged in the other person and then you say we're out of time Look at that I'll catch you later So really fast top strengths as you listen to your partner if you hear skills Push deeper and say tell me more go deeper than that what lies underneath what you just said give it a try Three minutes. I'll count Let's go. This is the talking part Energy in this room. I don't have time to tell you what my strengths are but I will the next time we meet Okay, if you know your strengths and you think about five or ten minutes a day that you can use those strengths in your work You will be amazed by what happens if you're on a team and rather than Complaining or feeling irritable about a team member you start with that person's strengths Amazing things will happen and if you start your project and Start with what are we strong at? What are our strengths? Then you will get to a different outcome. I have used this over and over again on the individual level strengths are an amazing Energizer on an organizational level appreciative inquiry Often gets us to solutions that we would not normally find and those of you who have experienced it know the feeling It's pretty pretty cool. So let's go to the other side This will be uncomfortable and I'm not gonna be here for more than two or three minutes Okay, so we're gonna think about our darkest moment over the year You don't even have to close your eyes and if you're sitting next to the person that created the darkest moment for you Over the year. Just look away Put yourself for a minute into the situation Where you were not at your best In fact, you could feel it potentially go into the moment Maybe you got angry. Maybe you felt sick. Maybe you felt nothing at all But boy, it was horrific and you can feel it today Just remembering it. Does everybody got one experience over the year if you can't find one at work Go home. If you have a teenage child at home, I know you will have found it and in that moment ask yourself what are you feeling physically and What are you feeling? Emotionally and in that moment, what do you think is going to happen to you? So everybody got something turned to your neighbors. This could be done three or four or five no names not needed and Just think about those three questions as you describe your very worst moment over the year what you're feeling Physically emotionally and what you're thinking about. I'm gonna stop you in three minutes. Go Feeling physical feeling. Where's my mic runner? Where'd he go? All right, we're gonna. Ah, there you go Joe who wait wave your hand Okay, there's a somebody in the back lady with a hat. Where is it bad feeling? Come on. Let's do this Come in the audience people at the back usually have the worst feelings. So let's go back here Okay, who had a bad feeling come on come in. He does. Oh, no me. Oh, no, it's personal But what did you feel? I don't need to know your situation My feeling was like a gut-wrenching feeling where I got ripped open and like scar, you know and being used at the end of the day Yeah, it was pretty awful. It was a combine of like death and love at the same time death and love, okay Stop right there. Disruptive. Disruptive. Yeah gut-wrenching. Okay. I love it. Thank you so much Who had a different feeling? Okay, lady in the back. Nice right back here This beautiful lady. I was numb. I'm numb Felt very angry like my insides were gonna explode Yeah, explosion. Yes nice and emotionally. Do you know what you were feeling? Anger anger beautiful. Thank you. Okay. Let's go this side of the room who had a completely different bad feeling Okay, Josepha Or Josepha Josepha. Yes. I felt betrayed. Okay. How's that feeling your body in my body? It feels like not being able to listen anymore and also my hands hurt your hands hurt Beautiful. Wait a minute your hands hurt and you put up a shield Yeah Listen to the hand and then right back here is Catherine. What were you feeling in your body? I was feeling very very nauseated. Couldn't eat for a few days. Did you throw up? Yeah, love it. Okay over here. All right one more on this side Completely different feeling here's a person in the purple sweater. I just felt like a failure. Well, wait a minute What does that feel like physically? You just feel cold and just kind of hopeless cold. That's a new one for me. I love it and hopeless is the emotion Awful, let's give them a hand for explaining to us because they have They have something That we need Which is they know what they're feeling Some of you may have found this difficult and couldn't actually Describe your physical feelings. I put you into an amygdala hijack situation What does that mean physically? Something should have been happening Did anybody sweat or get rad or just feel really hot? Yeah, I could see right now She's like Okay, some people get dizzy some people literally Drain anybody feel like God. I wasn't even there Just draining into the floor sort of like that and some people just actually get sick Did anybody cry or feel like they would cry that often happens it happens to me all the time and Some people feel it right here Get really tight or in your heart area get really really tight a little bit like what the gentleman was saying or Even not being able to breathe Knowing your physical symptom is Extraordinary and you want to have that because that's your first warning that you're having an amygdala hijack a lot of people mistake physical feelings for emotional feelings and Particularly a lot of men tell me I don't even know what I was feeling emotionally. So if you do that's extraordinary Because now you've got both Clues and the reason you want these is your brain in an amygdala hijack is not actually working Your executive brain has stopped working. Why is that? Because the amygdala, which is a small organ near your hypothalamus has sent adrenaline and cortisol Through your veins into your body so that you can get away from Danger because it does not know whether this is a dinosaur about to eat you or You're having emotional distress same thing to the amygdala. So if you know Then what can you do? You can pause? You can literally pause yourself. Hey Joanna. I'm having an amygdala hijack right now. I Feel the pit in my stomach and I feel my heart beating So let me just close my eyes hard to do in a large McKinsey meeting And breathe in Japan. They do this if you can't do that There are some things that you can do Physical things you can do is just exhale. It's really interesting that we all breathe without thinking about it Most of the time when we're hijacked we forget to breathe And that can be dangerous So just exhaling Naturally breath will come in oxygen will fill your body and in about 10 seconds your executive brain will begin to function Mine takes much longer and you can do what your grandmother told you to do which is to count to 10 If you can't do that Then you can do something physical you can take a sip of water You can feel your feet on the floor your butt in the chair and say to yourself. I am safe and That's usually enough to do it one person told me she pushes her chair away from the desk to get distance Anything you can do to waste 10 seconds and give yourself that time Which feels very long, but actually isn't because everybody else is also having an amygdala hijack When you're having a conflicting meeting You're not the only one If you can ask a question you can do it silently in your head You can do it out loud so you can ask yourself. What can I learn here? What's going on for me and for the others? What is it? I truly want to create and When you get your question it becomes your mantra I'll give you an example So I'm a I was a consultant for 32 years, which is ridiculous I used to be six feet tall and now you look at me. I'm a shadow of my former self and I went to a giant retailer To do a supply chain study anybody here from production or supply chain or trained in that area would know It's a skill I mean you really need to know something and I knew nothing about supply chain, which is why I brought a team of ten people all Supply chain experts and we were sitting underground No windows with a giant light beaming on this table and a huge screen right behind me that was beaming that horrible light whatever that's you know that sort of like that and We had to wait we're waiting for the client to come in they told us 90 minutes And then your arch enemy is going to come in after you to present because it's a competition So I'm there. I've briefed everybody. I'm the most senior person and then they file in literally The C's you know the C's the CEO the CIO the CMO the CFO The other C's I don't know who they are and then behind them all the direct reports and behind them people They must have taken off the street There were 30 people in that room and then it started I gave my bed. I explained what we were gonna do and and you know 89 of the 90 minutes go by and I'm thinking I'm gonna get out of here alive. This is good I don't really know where the exit is and how to get out of here. So it started, you know what this is, right? What is this? The downward spiral who always goes down for some reason so it starts a guy I'm just gonna call him and John to protect his innocence or not says I just have one question for Joanna Uh-oh is right and I say, oh my god. I don't know what question he's gonna ask But I don't know the answer. How would I even know I don't know the answer this starts to go and It's getting a little bit faster and he goes Joanna and I just thought that tone. He's going for me He's got his big guns out now He says when you said supply chain was a competitive strategic advantage in the first two or three minutes of this meeting I'm thinking what what did I say? I don't remember what I said in meeting two of this meeting What is that even mean strategic advantage? I don't know. He says what did you mean by that? And then it goes then I'm going down and I'm going I can't think of anything I can't even my brain's not working and that little voice Do you have one in your head that little voice starts and it goes Joanna? Can't you think of something to say you need to be talking now? They're gonna think you're stupid They're gonna think you're stupid because you are stupid and this is way rumination works It's get to hold to me. I think my husband doesn't love me anymore. I yelled at my children I'm a horrible mother and I'm really down at the bottom 60 eyes Staring at me. This is gonna be good. They say Because I'm stuck. I am literally having the fight flight freeze. I'm a freezer Right, you can't see me now because I'm frozen Animals can't see unless you move Except for humans for some reason So it is with huge Effort that I pull myself up Tears are literally I can't even see that my eyeglasses are wet and I say the dumbest thing I have ever said in my consulting career. I Say If you don't put product on the shelf People can't buy them And they all look away, it's like oh my god. Oh my god, and then my team comes up to me Then they have such concern in their eyes that I am now crying and I just run out and I run literally I'm underground somewhere. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running to get to a car I get to my car and get in the car call my husband. I tell him what happens and he says Don't cry. You're a million bucks and I say that's not enough money to do anything in New York City He says okay a hundred million bucks. I Literally dream about it Three weeks later. I Call the CEO we get the study. I'm sure you're relieved and I fire myself That's what amygdala hijacks do We literally make our worst fears come true We can stop that by learning to pause and reframe reframe from problem to solution But in the interest of time We'll stop with the shrimp and move on to the beef. I'd like you to think about trust Think of somebody in your community or at home or at work Whatever you do a customer supplier who you do not trust at all no names Think about what it is about this person. You do not trust one defining characteristic Everybody got one Without telling me who the person is because here. She's not in this room. I'm pretty clear They are not in this room. Just shout it out to get it out of your body. Just shout it out one two three. Oh Come on people I'm gonna try that again the defining characteristic like evil one two three shouted Love that Okay, worst thing. I'm gonna tell you I promise it's all up from here The characteristic that you just shouted out is Also in you Yikes We see it. We have it. We own it So think about something you admire about anyone could be a family member a historic member somebody from a movie Somebody from work. Just think about this person. You truly admire and What is the defining characteristic you admire about them? That's also in you If you see it you have it So what is trust? Trust is the ability to do four things First We all care about reliability If you're creating a project and somebody is not delivering what they promised It puts you and everybody around you in a difficult position So we tend to take that for granted So that it's only one element of trust, but it's usually the first thing people think of which is don't make promises You can't keep So if anybody said this person just lets me down every time that's reliability The second one Humanities favorite I don't care if I'm in China Kuwait California or South Africa people hate Individuals who are not congruent which means that what they say what they believe what they do Have to be aligned people hate that About an individual has a hidden agenda who's really out for themselves, but actually pretends I'm I'm totally for the team like it's all about us right as long as I'm the best We hate that about people Openness this is a really interesting one. I typically find more men than women Afraid to be open because a lot of people think about openness is weakness and it's actually not Openness is not telling people what your partner said to you the other day and that you kick the dog out of anger or that you Had a terrible dinner Openness is your ability to say this is what I'm thinking and feeling these are my limitations This is what I'm concerned about and getting that out on the table particularly if you're the project leader Or if you're talking to a customer or a supplier The last one acceptance is really interesting that more women than men tend to fall short on acceptance and I have found both men and women have If you are the kind of person who was an a-plus-plus student in school Who's striving for perfection anybody in the room like that must be at least one Yeah, I see like the hands are like that's me. It was definitely me Definitely me you know who you are because you're ashamed when you're not up at a hundred and five For a test that was only graded to a hundred Right, or you are ashamed when somebody says it was all good except for now I am married to a person who wings it who you know routinely got seasoned ease and subjects He didn't care about because he's a mathematician That's the only thing he cares about so a lot of you probably are very self-accepting if you're like that person So what acceptance is is the ability to withhold judgment? To accept that if you're not going to do a good job I might have to let you go, but I still care about you as a human being. I'm gonna still treat you with dignity Acceptance is something that we can practice doing So you know when a person is not accepting they criticize they micromanage Know that they're doing it to themselves more than that. They're doing it to you it starts with self So if this is you If acceptance is something you'd like to get stronger at Then there is one small assignment and if it's your kid This is important assignment as well, which is each night before you go to bed Ask yourself. What's one new thing you appreciate about yourself? Just one new thing and if you put it in the journal They will add up over the weeks and months and you will begin to retrain your brain to appreciate because appreciation trumps judgment and Then you turn to your co-workers and start with what do you actually appreciate about them? And what we're doing is we're releasing love kindness and generosity It's what you start with even though you could be irritated and frustrated by the lack of progress on the project If you do these four things you build trust so rather than asking Why don't I trust you? Reframe that question to be what can I do to get you to trust me more? How can I inspire you to trust me and? The person will usually tell you and they one of these four things is important to them like at McKinsey Nobody cares about anything other than reliability So there are a lot of backstabbing people there because it's not important to them. It might be really important to you So be sure to tell people on your team This is what builds trust with me and now I want to know how to build your trust in me Okay, two more to go Think about your next biggest challenge or opportunity if you're an opportunity-based person and One of you in the pair will get free coaching and One of you will learn the secrets of being a great coach So you figure it out between the two of you before I give you your time The person who's gonna get the coaching We want you to just think about the upsides if I meet this challenge if I take on this opportunity What becomes possible for me and what more and what more? Just that upper left hand box and when you really sorted that out think about the lower right hand box and What is the downside of doing nothing of staying as I am? So the people who want to coach here's the secret First you just look really sincere usually like this and All you have to do is go Tell me more you obviously know the answer keep it to yourself Let the person do their own problem-solving and just go and what else? That's it. So you get free coaching you get to practice being a coach You get four minutes find your pair and go What we're doing is Retraining our brains to start with the upsides some of you are optimists and so you start with the upside anybody here consider Themselves an extreme optimist Yeah, for you guys sleep at it for 24 hours Because if you start with the upside and nobody's holding you back so you have two choices either to go to sleep and Really look at it in the morning or have a pessimist by your side So you're a little bit different in that you always start with the upside and you never see the downside and in fact you always see the downside of not doing anything you're very fast in this particular Exercise for you a pre-mortem is a beautiful thing Bring your for most pessimistic friends together and they know who they are E or and all his pals and then have them sit together and tell them your idea and have them tell you The worst thing that could happen short of Martians coming down on Earth something that has a 2% black swan probability and then figure out how to mitigate those things and then you're ready You're good to go because optimism is a wonderful thing a lot of us work to gain that that skill If you have it, it's a gift you have it So you can retrain your brain and in fact those of us who don't think of the upside Have voices in our head and those who only think of the upside have different voices in our head So does anybody hear the critic and in their head? It's a little voice usually your mother and Constantly talking to you like with me it would be oh have you gained weight Right, it's just it's always something. It's always something so Voices are actually a serious business if you read pop psychology They tell you to shut the voice up and it doesn't work the more you try to suppress a voice The louder it will talk until you act out So for everybody for coaches and for coach ease Think about this think about your opportunity or your challenge and Here are these voices in turn So what is that coach? Even if you were not an athlete in high school, you can imagine a coach from all of the movies you've undoubtedly seen What voice? In your head can coach you What is the coach telling you? Take 30 seconds think about your challenge and hear the voice Coach might be telling you. Yeah, I know it's hard and I know you don't know what to do And that's okay because the only way you're gonna get better is by doing it What is the wise person I particularly am a Yoda fan. What does Yoda say about this challenge? What does Yoda say, you know what Yoda says right any Yoda aficionados here you are Yes in the voice There is no try. I'm not green. I know I'm trying my best here guys There is do and do not right or is it or Do or do not Hear a voice of a wise person in your head to help you with your challenge Hear a visionary, maybe you're the visionary hear your voice hear the voice You will probably fail, but if you do this thing and it works, that's gonna be unbelievable Isn't that exciting doesn't that fill you with energy just thinking about the way the world could be with your new project and Then hear the critic Hear the critic on the loudspeaker with everybody else I a client literally in her office put Four chairs and a fifth chair you you can try this at home Because none of you work in an office with glass right glass cuppies If you work in an office where everybody in the office can see you then try it at home you do Five minutes. Don't you worry? So in your chair Be you in the other four chairs move yourself to each chair I kid you not and be the voice and say it out loud as you go through each of the four voices Listen to what you're saying because you're telling yourself a truth and then go back to your own chair and Recognize that you are not your voices You're just the author of those voices you are you and those voices can help you Some people are really good about getting their own board of directors not imaginary People you trust but they're gonna tell you stuff. That's good for them These voices are there to protect and help you and they exist whether you hear them or not So use them and if it's your critic Buy them some jewelry What can I say? Okay Energizing Everybody a little like worn out by me at this point usually this is the case Think about your four sources of energy Think about physically you've been sitting still pretty still for a while How active and healthy are you in general and in this moment in your mind? How Focused are you right now? How alert and present are you in this room? Think about your heart. You've had some conversations that are pretty deep with somebody sitting next to you who you may or may not know And that connection is generally of the heart And then spiritually even if you are not a religious person you are a spiritual person So are you in fact investing in what matters for you in what's important to you? So you think about your energy. Just give yourself a score Every 90 minutes just like computers. We go to sleep Asleep at the switch. We need to wake it up. We need to wake it up and we can wake it up in a number of ways And i'm gonna do one quick exercise. You ready you with me? Okay, everybody stand up for just a minute one minute. That's it. And if you're in high heels I'm not I don't think anybody is I was gonna say take off your shoes. What the hell Screws Turn to a person not the person you've been yabbering to for the last hour Just turn to a person and just Tell them one thing you're grateful for Listen to one thing they're grateful for thank them and sit down. Please go Yeah, good You can jump Thank you. Whoa On your on your four sources of energy Did anybody go up did anybody go up on any one of the four sources you feel anybody feel more energy now one minute later Good anybody feel less energy? Okay, it can happen It can happen. We'll talk about that at the break. Okay. What's going on here We all wake up and we want to be high positive high energy positive energy We're winners, right? We want to get out of bed and be really excited about what we're doing And we generally are Even if you're a slow riser and you need three cups of coffee. It's okay You are usually in an up positive mood and what happens You get to work And as you work and people give you problems and you start to realize that it's not going the way you want to And now you have a deadline and it doesn't look like you're gonna meet it And now people are not not only not doing what you want They're making mistakes And you have to fix it for them and then your kids start screaming And everybody's getting angry and you start getting angry But you're gonna get this project done and you're gonna work your hardest because you are fantastic Right and you're the only one around you who's fantastic and you know that now you're in high negative energy And you're gonna get it done And if you work like that for week upon week and month upon month because you're on the Gutenberg project or something Even more important than that you wake up one morning like this And now you're in low negative energy and this is when you say I don't think i'm gonna get out of bed today I hate my job I think i'll quit My kids can get their own breakfast The dog can walk itself Look now if you're grieving or someone you know is very ill You can be in low negative energy for quite some time It's okay. There is no good or bad here The only thing is you must go to low positive Every 90 minutes if you can No matter where you are on this map you're having a fantastic team meeting Take a moment Just a minute To do gratitude Takes 10 minutes to go outside and breathe the air Lesser well Take time to drink a glass of water whatever it is for you Do something that helps you recover it is a responsibility and in fact Think about what you could do every morning Or every afternoon Think about what's going to get in your way deadlines people people's calls Think about Who's going to help you or what's going to help you do it? You're going to set an alarm You're going to do some a ritual with your team so everybody takes a break at the same time Whatever you have to do to practice recovery And think about most important of all the mindset shift go back to the iceberg under the water What will help you want to do this? I used to believe that if I could be madame curie that would be the best thing in the world work myself to death And die on the streets of paris Little radiation maybe but you know that's okay. I worked to death I thought that was the best thing in life Now let's not decompose what's wrong with me But think about it. I had to shift that mindset To actually taking recovery time will make me more productive I need to do it for my people Because frankly nobody really wants to work with a high negative energy person Which I was most of the time And if think about what becomes possible for you if you do this Think about how much more Of you can come to work or come to your life This works in and out of work That's called a recovery practice. It takes a while to build up a ritual for some people It's three weeks for some people at six months of active conscious work But once you do this, it's pretty great So I get up every hour and walk to the window and look out At the world just love to do it And then I come back to work feeling refreshed. What will you do? Because joe says we're out of time At the break I hope You will take out of here one intention for yourself Based on one of the five Doors that we walked through today One intention that you choose consciously choose And one action That you can take next week to start to live into that intention If You want more and I can't believe that you do, but I'm still active You can find me At mckinsey you can find me online I have a freaking beautiful wordpress site that was made to me By chris and michelle if you're in the audience. Thank you very much. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I just wish I knew how to update it, but anybody can help me. I'm introverted and I'm learning And instead you can also find me on linkedin and these are the books You don't have to be a female to read the first one Please there are the head of a major oil company in europe read it and said oh my god I see myself in these women. Is there something wrong with me and the point is no there's something right with him Because we are all human beings and we all have the capacity to be these five Have these five capabilities and if you do that You are already awesome. You will be awesomeer And you will have more energy. I promise you and greater happiness And I will not sell you the brooklyn bridge now this stuff where i'm told no swearing so this stuff It does work. Thank you very much. Thank you very much