 Hey everyone, I've got a very important topic for you tonight. The worst thing you can do to a narcissist. I think it's very important that we discuss this together, because I think a lot of people have got it confused when you want the narcissist to know that you're really done but then you don't want them to think that they're getting to you to think that you're still hurting. After everything they did to you, you have to get to a place where it's real. You have to get to a place where you're not just pretending anymore, where instead of you just saying that you don't care, you get to a place where you really don't care. See a lot of people think that to get to the narcissist, to get revenge on them, you have to be angry, you have to be really mad, to be fuelled, hatred, or indifference. You have to treat them with contempt as though they're worthless, or beneath your consideration. And here's the thing, see, I know a lot of people on YouTube will say that you should be indifferent, you should treat them with contempt, act as like they don't matter. A lot of people think that's the way to get them back. Well, I disagree. I don't think that's true. And actually I think the narcissist is well aware that when you display any hate or anger towards them, they know it's not real. They know that that hatred is really just you still desiring their acceptance, still desiring a sense of belonging with them. Even when you're indifferent to them, even when you show indifference to the narcissist in their minds, that's still you changing because of something they did. That's still you acting differently as a result of what they did to you. It's still a reaction. So they're still going to get supply. It's still going to fuel them because whether you're hateful, angry, or you're showing indifference to them, it still shows that you care, because if you didn't care, you wouldn't be doing any of that. So what am I getting at here? The worst thing you can do to a narcissist. It's not to fight back. It's not about getting mad. It's not about acting like they're so beneath you. No, that's not going to solve anything. You know what they really can't stand. You know what really lets them know they're not getting to you anymore when you're neutral, when you practice neutrality, because when you're no longer feeling that hate, that anger, when you really let go of that attachment and when you really don't care if you never see them again for the rest of your life, you won't wish anything bad on them. If anything, you may even wish them the best in life because you've got over it. You don't wish them anything bad anymore because you've moved past it. See, someone who experiences hate, anger, or even if they act indifferent, it's only because they were wanting a different outcome or result, even if it's just you were wanting them to act differently towards you. But when you get to a point where you don't care how they act, you don't care what they're doing, who they're with, nothing they say or do can bother you anymore. You may not be overly happy or excited if you see them or if they try and contact you, but then you're not hateful or angry either. You're neutral because you've moved past it all and whatever happens, it's just like who even cares anymore? That person who you thought they were months or years before, you know that person wasn't real. And then you look at yourself, the person that you used to be months or years ago when you were with them, and you know that person doesn't exist anymore because now you've moved on and you've become stronger. And at that point, you no longer react to them in the same way. You see, when you've grown out of a narcissist, it's like a child that grows out of their clothes. They don't fit you anymore. They don't vibe with you anymore. They're not relevant. But that doesn't mean that you hate the clothes. It just means they don't fit anymore. You're neutral with it. It's okay. Maybe you just throw them away or maybe you just give them to someone else. It doesn't matter. And that is the worst thing you can do to a narcissist because they can feel your hate. They can feel your anger towards them and it fuels them. It makes them feel alive. Any reaction will make them feel alive, even if you're indifferent. If you all of a sudden start acting as though they're worthless or they're beneath your consideration, they know that it's not real. Because if it was real, then you wouldn't have just done that all of a sudden. But if you gradually and naturally throw out your healing process, you just become neutral towards them where you don't see them as being beneath you. You accept them as they are. You understand why they do what they do, why they are the way that they are. And you see them on the same level and yet at the same time you walk away and you just let them do their thing and you do your thing. When you do that, it kills them inside because that's when they really know that you're done, that you don't see them in the same way anymore. And it's like the more time that goes on, the more value they lose in your eyes, the more distance there is between you. But whether you look up to a narcissist and admire them as you did in the beginning, or you hate them, or you treat them with contempt, you're indifferent. You're still giving them supply because they know why you're doing that. They know that you're trying to hurt them. But when you get to a point where you don't even care about hurting them, you don't even care about getting revenge because you're too busy with your own life. You've got so much going on now. So many things that are more significant and worrying about what a narcissist is doing or worrying about the things that they did to you. When you get to that point, that is the worst thing that hurts a narcissist. When you're neutral towards them, just cut off that supply because they want you to worry about them. They want you to be constantly thinking about everything they did to you, constantly worrying about everything that they might do in the future. They want you to be resentful. They want you to hold a grudge against them for the rest of your life, where you can never let go. I know it's hard in the beginning. It's natural to be angry when someone hurts you. It's natural to be indifferent, but at some point you have to get to a point where you can forgive so that you can then elevate yourself. And that doesn't mean looking down on the narcissist, calling them names or insulting them because again, they know why you're doing that. They know that they're getting to you. They can tell how you feel by how you react to them. And when you're neutral, they just see it as though you just don't care about them anymore. They don't matter. And there's nothing worse than that for a narcissist. If there's one thing they all want, it's just to feel like they matter to someone, to feel like they're something significant. After all, that's why they abandoned who they really are and created a false self because their true self wasn't noticed. It didn't get them the attention and admiration that they were looking for. So when you're neutral with a narcissist, they just can't feed off you anymore. Anyway, that's all I've got to say for this topic. I hope it's been helpful to all of you. I've got 244 by viewers right now. Great to have you all here. We have a new website as well where you can read my blog posts and book coaching sessions and join our support forum. It's at www.noxviver.co.uk and there is currently a discount code on all sessions. It's NS Welcome 25 in capital letters. So do check out our new website. And also we do have another channel now as well. It's called spiritual secrets. So if you're interested in self development, healing, spirituality, do check that out. Just click on to the channel and then on to Nox Viva YouTube channel, click on the community page. And the link to the spiritual secrets channel should be on that page. And finally, I do have a new email as well. If you would like to contact me, it's coaching at noxviver.co.uk. Or you can also contact me on my Instagram, which is knock survivor YouTube. Okay, that's all for tonight. I hope you all enjoyed the video. I hope you got something out of it and I will talk to you all very soon.