 Listen. Yes. Listen. Are you listening? Stop that and listen. I just matched with this girl I'm gonna text her and you're gonna help me come up with the perfect first text I want to make a good impression so that she likes me instantly I want her to understand that I'm looking for a one-knife long-term relationship. Oh Dude talk about her looks girl. Love that like talk about her profile picture. Okay Hey, I saw your profile picture and I gotta say It's pixelated. That's not what I meant. Oh I get it. I get it. I get it. Okay. Hey, I saw your profile picture and I gotta say you're cute Thanks to the filter you used Tell her about yourself Ah Hey, I am a kind and trustworthy person now. Do I mention that I went to jail or Maybe not. No, okay. Ah, I'll save it for the first date I'll leave with that. Why not just text? Hey, because if I say hey, she will say hey back Then I will say what's up, and she will say not much. What's up? Oh, even worse I will say what's up, and she will say the sky At first we'll appreciate the fact that she has a sense of humor But then I will realize that I can only be the funny one in this relationship Then what's gonna happen? We'll date divorce get married in that order. Is that what you want for your best friend? No So Hey nice and simple. Why does the first text matter anyways? The first impression is everything I can't sound too confident because she'll think I'm a jerk I can't sound too nice because she'll think I'm fake. I can't sound too arrogant because what are you doing? Oh, nothing nothing keep talking. Okay, I can't sound too needy because girls like a man with confidence Right, right, right, right, right. We bought her proposal. Okay, so profile picture is blank. There's no description Her name isn't there. There's literally nothing to work on. That's perfect. Send her nothing That's the beauty of it It's the beauty of it. That is the beauty of it Maybe just be honest with her. Ah Hey Let's have hard core sex. Yeah Say here's one talk to her like she's your girlfriend. It'll make her comfortable So I pretend like we've known each other for many years and that's what madly in love Okay, okay, wait. She's my girlfriend Hey, you said you would do the dishes. I am fed up with doing everything here You better say something right now You're gonna end up alone. Oh, yes, you're gonna end up alone. I think we got it. Okay, read it one more time Hey cute one. Thank you in advance for reading this so that she's already on my side It would mean the world to me if we could meet and make great moments project a future together I know making this type of decision can be tough But we only live once that puts her worries away your info surprise and you're for sure a prize for the candy. Oh My god, okay, if I receive a text like this, I would date myself like right away. No questions asked Yeah, send it. It's great. Send it. Oh, I just received a text from you. What is it a meme or something? Hey cute one Okay, dude, I just got the most romantic text like ever Please help me reply to this guy has to be the perfect text. All right. All right