 Hello my YouTube family, welcome to another NARC Survival Live video. In this one I'm going to be speaking about how to ruin a narcissist forever, once and for all. How to really just put them out, finish them off. But before I get into that, I just want to say that it is International Women's Day today. And of course I am a big supporter of women's rights, fairness and equality. Women who have good jobs, work hard, become successful, have their own purpose in life. Yes, I am completely for that. I stand for women's rights. Of course I stand for men's rights as well, being a man myself. As it is International Women's Day today, I just thought I should say that. And yes, since the very beginning, originally my videos were intended more for women. I was speaking more to the opposite sex. Yeah, I'm proud of a lot of women today. Women who aren't just going to clubs, sleeping around every week. And instead women who study, work hard and choose to build a family with the right man. Of course that's not to say that you can't ever have fun. I'm not saying that. But yeah, let's get into this message. How to ruin a narcissist forever. How to really eff them up. How to screw them up. And their lives and their heads. How to damage them once and for all. Because I'm sure that's exactly how many of you are feeling right now. You just want to destroy them. You want to ruin their future. So that they've got nothing to live for in their lives. They've got nothing that they value, nothing that they're proud of. And in fact to the point where they just want to take a gun and pop themselves in the head. So that you can say bye and then move on with your life in peace. Wouldn't it be great if I actually did a video talking like that. Unfortunately, that's not something I'm ever going to do. As an empath. Even though yes I do identify as a super empath. We don't do stuff like that. That's what narcissists do. Narcissists ruin people's lives. We don't. And you should know that from your own experiences. How many of you have had your life ruined by a narcissist. Because I know I have. From a very young age. When I was just four years old. I was sexually molested by my sister. Was eight years old at the time. Other than just a few years later. My father's girlfriend was about 35 at the time. I was just 10 years old. I'll never forget it in front of my father. And in front of her son as well. My father had a son with her. She put her hands down my trousers and touched my penis. And I was just 10 years old. And those are just two incidents of many that I went through in my childhood. I know I spoke about before how I've had many near-death experiences. One when I was three months old. My mother dropped me on my head at the circus. And even now 35 years later. I've still got the scar on my forehead. Funny enough it's the shape of a lightning bolt. The same as Harry Potter. Quite a strange coincidence. But yeah that was the beginning of my life. You could say my life was ruined before it even begun. And if that wasn't bad enough. Even my teenage years were pretty much taken away from me. Wasn't really allowed to have any friends. I never had the opportunity to have a girlfriend. Or even experience my first kiss as a teenager. I didn't even lose my virginity until the age of 22. That's how bad it was. And even then I wasn't allowed any friends or girlfriends over the house. And I wasn't allowed to go out late at night even at that age. And these are just some experiences of many. Aside from that as you know. Of being the victim of several smear campaigns. Even gang stalking since 2016. That has been going on for about 7 years now. And in that time I lost a lot of people. A lot of friends. A lot of money. Just a few years ago I was earning about nearly $20,000 a month. And my business was attacked. I had a lot of money stolen from me. Potentially I could have lost hundreds of thousands of pounds. Maybe over a million. So now even at the age of 35 I haven't even got a home. I haven't got a car. I haven't got anything. And even my daughter. She's going to be 4 years old in a few months. I haven't seen her for 3 years. I've experienced a lot of abuse. Especially physical violence my entire life. And I'm sure many of you have your own experiences as well. Because we are the victims. Or rather we are the survivors. Because I call this channel Narc Survivor for a reason. Just because I've been the victim of child sexual abuse on many occasions. That doesn't define me. And it doesn't define me just because my entire family and community kept a code of silence and denied that it ever happened. That's not why it doesn't define me. It doesn't define me because I won't let it define me. Because I know that I am greater. I'm better. I'm stronger than that as a child. I was more than just a sexual object. I had feelings. I had things that I was interested in. Things that I enjoyed. But unfortunately when these things happen to you. When these narcissists they don't actually care. They never sit you down to ask you how you feel. In fact when that happened to me at the age of 4 years. I still remember it to this day. My older sister she abused me sexually. When I was in her bedroom she turned the lights off. Dragged me under the covers. I was terrified. I was so scared. That I ran down the steps as fast as I could. I ran into the lounge and I saw my other sister and my mother. And I told them exactly what had happened. And they just looked at me like I was crazy. Like they didn't even care. And that just continued throughout my life. But people just thought that I was crazy. Or they just didn't care. I don't know how many of you have experienced that as well. The gas lighting. They make you think that it's all in your mind. Or they even call you the narcissist. No matter what you've been through. They could put you through hell a million times. And still blame you and act like they're these perfect saints who never did anything wrong. And I get that I really do. That's why I created this channel. To support other people who have experienced the same things as I have. And of course I'm not getting on here just to play the victim. I act like I've been so hard done by in my life. And I've never done anything wrong myself. Of course not. I have spoken about on many occasions how I've been bad in my past and I've done things wrong. But yeah what I never spoke about. Although I've been doing these videos now for five and a half years. I never spoke about how I was a child sexual abuse victim. I never really spoke too much about my childhood. But yeah there has been hundreds of experiences that I went through. Horrific things that no child should ever have to go through. But yeah I went through that. And I thought I should share that with you. And the reason why is because what you need to understand is that these narcissists may have been through a similar thing. Yes they may have been sexually abused as well. Or they may have been abused. Well they most definitely have been abused or neglected in some way. So just think about that for a moment. These people are already miserable. They're already going through hell. Because unlike you or myself. They don't self reflect. They don't go within to heal their childhood traumas. And that's what I had to do. Which is how I can get on here and speak about it so calmly. Even though it's the first time that I've ever spoken about this on a live video. Of course I have spoken about my experiences a few times before. I confronted my family on it and they just completely denied it. They said I was making it up. And I remember I confronted someone else as well. Who just said that I probably enjoyed it. So yeah that's the type of response you're going to get. You're just wasting your time. If you're dealing with a true narcissist. And you go and you hurt them. And you ruin their life. Let's say you succeed in doing that. You really think they're going to put the pieces together. They're not going to connect that to what they did to you. That's never going to happen. If we're talking about a real NPD. You can get revenge. And they're never going to connect that back to what they did to you. They're never going to come to that conclusion. They're just going to see it as though you are the abuser. You are the perpetrator. And now you need to be punished even more. And then they're really going to do you in. And if you thought you had it bad before. They're going to try and make it that much worse. They really will. Because narcissists are the type of people to push and provoke you to the limit. To the point where you can't take it anymore. And then when you finally react. Maybe you shouted them. Maybe you throw something. Maybe you even become physically violent yourself. Then they'll just take up their phone and record you. And show it to all of your family and friends. And they might even call the police and get you locked up. And I know it may hurt to cure that. But I'm just telling you how it is. Because that's exactly what it's like when you're dealing with an NPD. But I know many of you have clicked on this. Because you want to know how you can ruin the narcissist. So I have to give you some advice along those lines. But the right way. Not in a way where you become just like them. When no one can even tell who is the narcissist and who is the victim. I don't want you to become that. I don't want you to do that to yourself. Because yes they may have done these things to you. But at some point you start doing it to yourself. Because then you have the opportunity to calm down. You have the opportunity to relax and think logically and rationally. And recognize that we are different. We are not the same. We are empaths. We don't treat people in that way. We don't abuse people. We don't ruin their lives. And in fact the only reason why the narcissist wanted to or did ruin your life. It's because their life was already ruined a long time ago. They're already having that experience so they want to project it onto you. As with then so without they can only give you what they've got. But they're already going through themselves. Because they've lost all belief, all hope, all faith in themselves. And in God's and a higher power. They don't believe that things can ever get better for them. And if you start taking on that mindset. Where do you think you're going to end up? I hate to be so blunt. But I've got to just tell it like it is. Imagine if I became that way six years ago before I created this channel. Then I wouldn't have been able to inspire millions of people around the world. But I did manage to do that. And it's because I never lost that belief. I never lost that innocence in myself. They have. They're completely damaged, contaminated. And they're never going to be the same. You don't have to do anything to them. They're already getting their karma. They're getting it every day. So I've already told you what you shouldn't do. Now what can you do? If you do want to affect them in a negative way. If you do want to get them back. Although I can tell you they're never going to see it that way. They're never going to connect what you're doing back to what they did to you. They're just going to look at you as though you are the problem. You are the abuser. You are the narcissist. Because that's just how their brains are wired. They don't self reflect. They don't look at themselves. They don't take accountability. And they can keep going like that until the day they die. They're never going to change. But if you still really want to get back at them. Here's what you've got to do. And honestly this is the best advice. If you want to get back at the narcissist for everything they did to you. Don't let what they did get to you. Because that is going to affect them more than anything else. As I said, things were done to me. Horrible things. I went through possibly some of the worst abuse imaginable. But despite that I carried on. That's what happened after I was sexually abused. And everyone just blew it off like nothing happened. So they didn't even care. What did I do? I just went back to playing. Playing with my toys. Playing outside. I just carried on with my childhood. I didn't let it affect me. I didn't become negative. I didn't become resentful. And of course it would be understandable. After all of that. You would think that I would have a lot of hatred. And resentment in my heart. To where I would just want to get back at everyone. But I never felt that way at all. And especially you would think that I would be a misogynist. A man who hates women. Because of course the situation that I described that involved. The only three women that were in my family. But in fact all I've ever really felt towards women is love. Despite everything that was done to me. All of the narcissists that I met who ruined my life. Many of those were women as well. Despite that I carry on. I continue to spread the love. Not only on here but in real life as well. And I'm never going to stop doing that. No matter what happens to me. I will be like this until the day that I die. And that is the greatest revenge on the narcissist. Because that's what they wanted to do to you. When they were doing all of those things. Everything that they did to you. Why were they doing that? I can tell you that they were doing that. Because they wanted to make you just like them. They wanted you to be the same way. Where you would then be burning with hatred. At life for the worlds. Where you become mad at the worlds. And you become mad at the opposite sex. Because that's exactly how they are. And they want you to become like that as well. They want to ruin your life. Destroy your future. If they haven't already. They want you to lose all hope and belief in yourself. They want to take away your innocence. And some of them. I hate to say it. I hate to say it I do. But some of them will want you to lose faith in God. I said it and it's true. Some of them will want you to do that. Because they want to turn you against anything and everything that they can. Anything that you would otherwise love or hold dear to you. And that could be a family member, a friend. A relationship partner. God. Whoever and whatever you love the most they want to turn you against that. They want to make you hate it with a passion. Yes that's what they want for you. Because that's how it is for them. They hate with a passion. They have all of this hatred but you never have that. You never hated anyone or anything. And all of these things were done to you. But you just kept it moving. You didn't let it get to you. All of the things that you went through. A lot of you just pretended like everything was okay. You kept calm, you kept moving. And you didn't even blame them, you didn't confront them. You moved on and a lot of you you were still happy. You still had your head held high. You were smiling. And that's just it because when you do that you can still continue to enjoy life. And I know it may not be the life that you expected. The life that you dreamed about. The life that you worked for. I mean just look at me of course. I worked every day for six years. So many early mornings. So many late nights. Of course by this point I thought I would have a home. At least a car. At least something of my own that I could eventually leave to my daughter when I finally die. So I get it. I know you haven't got the life that you expected. The life that you deserve. I know you haven't got that. Even though you worked for it you earned it. And you may feel like they've robbed you. Your life. Your innocence. Everything that made you you. But actually no. None of these things make us who we are. The money. A house. Even our children. Yes even our children these things don't make us who we are. You make you who you are. That comes from within. And that comes from you. Not going into their arena. Not going over to their side. Not doing what they want you to do. Not becoming a demon a monster just like them. Because I can tell you that's exactly what they want for you. You want to know what a narcissist wants. Any narcissist that could be a sociopath or psychopath. You want to know what makes them feel better about themselves. What tells them that they've won. It's when you become just like them. When you become a monster. When you have all of this hatred. That's exactly what they want. You really want to fulfill their wishes. Their dreams for you. And after everything they did to you as well. Because that's exactly what they want. While all the while what did we want for them. We hoped that they would change. We hoped that they would be better. I look back at some of my narcissistic exes. And of course I wish that they would just have moved on. And found someone else. Even someone better in their minds. Of course I wish that for them. That they would be happy. But it's never going to be like that for them. They're always going to hate us. They're always going to seek to destroy us. No matter what you do. No matter what you want for them. They're never going to see how you actually think. They're never going to realize that you're actually a good person. Because they're not a good person. So how are they ever going to see that in you? They can't recognize that in themselves. Because they're not that. So they're never going to see that in you. They're going to do whatever it takes to see anything else. Other than that in you. Because if they were to see that. In their minds that would tell them that you have won. Because it's always a competition to a narcissist. It's been that way since the very beginning. That's where they create the false self. And it will be that way until the very end. There's only good or bad, winners or losers, right or wrong. That's why the greatest punishment, the greatest revenge. Is when you don't let it get to you, you don't react. Just look at what happens when you gray rock. They can't take it, they lose their minds. They have to ramp up the abuse to get a reaction out of you. Because then they feel like you have won. They feel like you're good, you're right and they're wrong. That's why they've got to get these reactions out of you. And that's why the greatest punishment, the greatest revenge. Is if you really don't let it get to you. And not just pretending like they do when they float their new source on social media. But you actually do it for real. You actually move on and you become happy. You enjoy your life or what's left of your life. Doesn't matter what you've got, doesn't matter how little it is. As long as you can still find satisfaction with yourself and your life. And you have a support network around you to protect you. And they see that nothing will drive them more mad. Nothing will. So that's my advice. If you really must get back at the narcissist. I mean as I've said it's, they traumatize children in adult bodies. They don't even know what they're doing after time. What they're doing. And when you do something in response they never connect that back to what they've done. They're in such extreme denial. Of course they know what they're doing and they understand that it's wrong. They are aware of that. And it's just a part of their disorder and it's why they'll always be miserable. Somehow and for whatever reason they do know. They recognize it when you are actually happy. When you've moved on for real. Yes they do see it. They sense it. But it's not because they can operate on that same frequency. That same vibration of happiness and joy. That's not what it is. They'll never get to experience that. But what they do sense is that you're kind of, you're wandering off. You're drifting into like some other dimension. Some other land, some other world. That's how they see it. And they see that it's making you feel good. It's making you better. And they might not really know what that is. But what they do know is that they don't have that. They can't experience it. And they're typically just going to try to bring you down. They're going to project more of their shame onto you. Because they don't want you to experience that. Something that they're never going to have. And of course they're never going to have that. Because they chose to be bitter and resentful. They chose to be that way. And it's the same way for us, we have a choice. And I know you've been through a lot. I understand. I mean I've spoken about some of the things I've been through as well. And I'm not bitter. I'm not resentful. I mean of course sometimes narcissists can get me in the moment. I am human. I'm not just some robot who doesn't feel anything. But then as soon as I get some time to myself. I can meditate and be mindful. And I can move past that. I can focus on the present moment. I can focus on the things that I am grateful for. Even if it's just the fact that I'm not like them. And I think that's what we should all aspire to be. The opposite of what they are. And I hope that this will inspire you. To not become bitter. To not become resentful. Because if you do that then they have won. Because that's exactly what they want for you. That's the whole point. That's why they do everything that they do. They want to destroy your innocence. Your hope, your belief, your faith. In yourself, other people and the world around you. They want you to be mad at the world. They want you to think that the world is not a safe place. They want you to not trust anyone. They want you to think that it's you. They want you to gaslight you to the point where you don't even know which way is up. That's what they want for you. And don't ever let them do that to you. Don't ever let it get to that point. Because you know what happens. When they do that, when it gets to that point. There is no going back. You're going to be that way for life. And you will know that because that's exactly how it was for them. That's exactly how it is when you see these bitter old people. They were so mad at the world. They're always the victim. They're never happy. They're always complaining. They're always gossiping. They went over to the dark side. They lost that innocence about themselves. And they chose to become that way. Don't let that happen to you. And I won't let that happen to me as well. I will never let it get to that point. No matter what they do. I'm always going to remain positive. I'm always going to believe that things can be better for us. Because I know they don't believe that for you. Many of you may not know this. But narcissists don't actually believe that we can heal or move on. They really don't believe that. They don't believe that we can never get it back. That we can never come back to ourselves. They think that once they've done these things to us, then that's it. It's over. And there's no going back. And why do they think that way? Because that's exactly how it is for them. They know they're never going to be able to come back. You know that void that they always try to pull you into? That is the same void that they're never going to get out of. That they're going to be stuck in for life. And this is why they're always badgering you. This is why they're always on your case. Because they keep getting pulled back into it. And when they come after you, it's like for a moment, they can distract themselves. They can feel like they're not stuck in that void. But they make it out as though they're stuck in a void. They're stuck in a pit. And it's because of the things that you did to them or someone else before you. And now they need your help. They're playing the victim. You've got to reach your hand into it. Pull them out. Of course, if you do that, as many of you may have already experienced, they're just going to turn around and push you in there. That's all that they're going to do. Because the reality is that void, it's not that pit of misery. It's not the result of what has been done to them. It's the result of what they have done to you and what they have done to other people before you. And that's how so many things have been done to us. And we are not narcissistic. We don't have a void. Because like I said, it's not what was done to you. It's what you have done. So never let yourself become that way. Never do these things. Never become just like them. Because that is what they want for you. They want you to ruin yourself. They want to manoeuvre you into that space. And this is why they've always got to be two steps ahead of you. This is why they're micromanaging you. They're stalking, harassing you, they're always watching you. Because they're trying to manoeuvre you into that space. They're trying to pull you into that realm of misery and darkness. Because like I said, once you get stuck in that, many people never find their way out. They never get back out of it. And I know that because I've seen it myself. I've seen it myself. Some people never return. So think of that before you think of getting back at the narcissist. That's really what motivates me. That's what keeps me coming back to myself. That's what stops me from going into the darkness, from a cell in my soul. Because I've seen it myself. I had to watch my own mother going through that when I was a child. And then I remember running to my father and telling him, she's the devil. Yes, I said that when I was just seven years old. I've seen people go over to the dark side and never come back to where they can't find happiness in anything anymore. They have to fake it, they have to pretend. And it can never be real for them. And I guess a part of that is from them becoming abusive. Even if it's just passive aggression. And they can't just be vulnerable. They can't just say that, yes, this is hurting me right now. This is getting to me. This is bothering me. I can't take any more. I don't want to live another day. They can't feel that. And instead, they choose to hurt someone else. And I can tell you that that is what saved me. All of this hopelessness and helplessness that they pushed on to me. I took that on. And I accepted it. I accepted that, yes, this is how I feel right now. I accept it. I feel stuck. I feel like my life is over. My life is ruined. My body, my brain, it's never going to be the same. And I accept that. But then I come back. And then I feel more motivated. And it's like, okay, what do I need to do now? How can I move on? How can I be better? Not only for myself, but for other people as well. And that's the last thing that they want. It's for you to become a better person for everyone else. And to try to make a difference in this world in a positive way. Because they never did that. They took their pain out on the world. And I know it may look like they're just doing that to you. They're not. You don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Narcissists, they act like they're all together, they're all against you. That couldn't be further from the truth. They're all against each other. They pretend like they're on the same team. Just to alienate you. Or rather, just to make you feel like it's you. Like you're on your own. Like everyone else is all friends and you're the enemy. You're the outsider. Whether it's in the family unit, in a workplace, wherever it may be, it's all fake. It's never like that for them. Why do you think they're against you? Why do you think they target you? Why do you think they do all of these things to you? Because it's not like that for them. When it is actually like that, as it is for us in our community, on my YouTube channel, we're inclusive. We invite people in. We give people the opportunity to change and be better. Because we have the hope and belief for that in ourselves. So of course we have that for other people as well. And as many of you may have seen just a few weeks ago, even after the years of work and videos that I've done, I interviewed a diagnosed COVID narcissist on a live video. Because that's how it is when you're about this for real. When we are actually all together and we love and appreciate each other and we're all actually friends for real, we invite people in. It's inclusive. It doesn't matter who they are. It doesn't matter what they've done. I mean, as long as it was in the past, that's the one condition that as long as it, they're not doing it right now. Or if they're doing it right now, as an example, if they're addicted to drugs, if they're alcoholics, as long as they have the desire to change, if people have the desire to change. And it's real. We don't turn our backs on them. We don't shut them out because then that would make us wrong. That would make us bad. But at the same time, we do need to be very cautious and very protective of our boundaries. Because narcissists use this tactic a lot. But they give these fake apologies, these false epiphanies. They act like they've changed. They act like they're trying to be better. And then they go and they stab you in the back. I've experienced that about a million times already. But I didn't let it change me. And I will always give people another chance. Just as I know that for the sins that I have committed, because I'm far from perfect myself, or at least I hope and I pray that God will forgive me. I can't say that God will forgive me for definite. I don't know. But I hope and pray that He will. And I hope and pray that He will for you as well for all of the things that we have done in our past. And not only that, but He will give us the courage and the motivation that we need to be better people. Because despite what the narcissist thinks, I believe that it's never too late. We don't have to give up. We don't have to die just because of their grudge. Just because they've done all of these things to us. And they can't deal with the shame so they project it onto us. That doesn't mean that we have to suffer. We can still be better. We can still heal. We can still move on. And I know this may sound like one of the most passionate videos that I've ever done. And I guess part of the reason for that is because of the title. I'm just against revenge. I'm against causing harm, causing pain. I mean I am a vegan myself, but I'm sure many of you clicked on this video with so much pain, so much hatred, so much bitterness, resentment. And I don't want to make you feel bad for having those feelings. Of course I understand. I get it. You've been hurt, you've been abused. Of course you're going to feel that way. And I'd be lying if I said that I've never felt that way in my life. Of course I have. You just need to find the strength and the courage to move past it. Your feelings can change. And you can become better. You're not going to be stuck that way for the rest of your life. So don't make a decision now that you might later regret. And instead go within yourself. Regulate. That's my advice. I don't know that many of you as empaths, you will make the right decision. Instead of seeking to harm the narcissist, to get revenge, to expose them, to damage their reputation, to turn everyone against them. If we do that, honestly we're no better than them. Don't expose them. Don't take revenge. Don't do what they've done to you. Seek support. Confide in someone who you can trust. Someone who you can talk about it to. That is the right thing to do. Seek professional support. From a licensed therapist or coach. And that was what I had to do. Six years ago, before I began this channel, I spoke to a few therapists. And I learned to go within myself. Because nothing you do in the external world is going to change anything within yourself. It's never going to bring you satisfaction. It will feed your ego, but the ego always wants more. And just look at the narcissist. They get themselves stuck in things that they can't get out of. They develop these addictions to abusing people. To where it always has to escalate. And they always have to do something worse than what they did before. Because they're always looking for the next hit. Don't let it be that way for you. And instead, go within to regulate yourself. It's a skill and it will take time to develop it. Meditate, practice mindfulness. Train yourself to regulate your emotions. I know you can do that. I believe in you. Anyway, that's all I have to say for this message. I know it's been quite a deep and passionate discussion. And I hope to do more videos like this in the future as well. Because I'm sure this message has resonated with a lot of people who are hurt. And they're going through pain right now. And honestly, that's the last thing I want for anyone. I hate to see people in pain. There's nothing that hurts me more. Thank you all for joining me on another Nox My Relive video. If you found this video helpful, you can hit the thumbs up button down below. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I read your comments every day. Hit subscribe and click all notifications to be notified when I upload a video in the future. And if you would like to donate, you can leave a donation through the super chat in the live chat down below. Or the super thanks in the comment section. Or you can go to my PayPal. It is PayPal.me. And if you would like to book a one-on-coaching session with me, you can go to my website. It is Noxsurvivor.co.uk. And also, follow me on Instagram. It is Noxsurvivor YouTube. All right, it is nearly 12.30 in the morning here. I'm very tired. It's been a long video. So I'm going to get some sleep and do some work in the morning. But I'm glad I shared this message with you tonight. I hope it helped. And depending on where you are, have a good day or good night. And I will speak to you in another video very soon.