 Yes, welcome back to why in the morning special thanks to joy and which actually in color me valve for that amazing segment Start our Wednesday on a laughing note. Remember. We are going to be Aaron the Uganda game For the African Cup of Nations will give you more details on that right here on why in the morning and and our mother channel at KBC Channel one I go by the name of Barry Moses or it's very one every social media platform and it's time for strength of a woman so we have Libby was an artist and Activists and then we have James who's an activist and she'll tell us more about her activism Thank you. Thank you very much. All right, so your camera is number four Since Libby you've been here before where's him? Good morning everyone, my name is James. I'm one you were I am a consultant and also an activist around issues gender-based violence and Currently working on projects in and around Issues gender-based violence just trying to make sure that nothing happens to a woman the same way it happened to me So yeah, all right, so you have a story this that's why this is so dear to you Yeah, I have a personal story for me. GBV is really personal. So that is how I started All right, you're going to explain to me how you wear that smile so confidently and Good morning, my name is Libby. I am a musician and I have a background in media And I currently have released a song about GBV. That's how I got into GBV specifically rape So you don't have a personal story. No, I'm not a survivor But I have survivors around me and that's what made me Write the song and do the project and gets into this particular. All right, so I like you guys to take Why did you guys meet first? Because this is an amazing We met in school in university. Yeah, a couple of many years. I think It's a lot Wow, you have not met I won't say the name So you met in school. Yeah. All right, so this is Deister. Yes, and this is where you had this Odio, yes, this incident. Yes. All right So we are not going to talk so much about it, but it happened and then you had to transfer schools. Yeah, and You got a child as a result. Yes, who's turning how old? Four in September. I'm so proud for September. You're so proud. Yeah, I'd like to know what was running through your mind post this Odio, I felt like I would be judged that is when I've always told people that I'm a person who's very close to her parents And I tell them practically everything that I'm doing. So when the when I got shaped I didn't know how to tell them because I felt like that They'll ask a lot of questions. Why why you get yourself in this position? So I didn't really say a lot and I slipped into depression and when I slipped into depression That was even before I knew I was expected. I was even admitted in hospital for a while So when my parents realized that I was admitted they came and they were told by a friend of mine who I had told What had gone down? So they were really Agitated and also very hot because I'm a person who is known Libby will tell you my my lifestyle was practically You'd know where I am at what time if I'm not in worship people person. Yeah, but also The things that I wouldn't get involved in so if I wasn't in worship team that is in school I was with my friends in the hostels if I was not in the hostels I was in class and that was my leadership position Yes in worship team. I was in charge of the Agape library for the Christian whatever so That is what I used to do. So when that happened I slipped into depression and during that time That is when we realized that I was expectant and that really took a toll on me because I was running mentorships For girls. I was the one who was telling people how they should be pure Not engaging sexual activities till they get married then now I show up pregnant So it was a lot that happened with me and also with my family so For us it was kind of it was a shaky time for us as for me as jeans and for my family also All right Did you seek any legal action because I'm told most of these cases go and prosecuted and if prosecuted It's very hard to prosecute rape cases in all honesty. We started the legal process when the person Showed up, but I'll be very very honest with you when it comes to the legal system in this country You need to have a certain position You have to have money a certain way because the offender will easily pay up if they have money like my my offender Could easily yes in the burden of proof lies exactly and now I'm not coming from a well or family like yes We manage just fine, but I don't think my dad or my mom had that kind of money to buy power Yes, and and for us like my father is a pastor and we believe in forgiveness So we had to come to a point of you know what God will fight for us So I moved on seeking counseling and all this and I will really that is all working on projects around GBV because I realized that the legal system is not fair on the person who has gone through Rape or has been beaten by the husband because they will always find a way the person the offender will always find a way of Working their way around it and gender-based violence is really in Kenya right now It's real people are just not talking about it enough and victims are not coming out enough. Yeah, all right My next question is having a religious background did this Was this part of the reason you decided to keep your baby Really, no I remember when I was told I was expecting my child They gave me two choices because now I conceived. I didn't even love this part. So I did anyway So I was given two choices either to get rid of my child or to keep my child Definitely as jeans. I wanted to get rid of my child and I remember my father's words Sometimes it drives me to tears till date because my father was like, you know what this might be your only child in this life So and we are going to take care of this job Not you are going to we are going to tell me yes We are going to take care of this job and my parents have been very instrumental I tell people every time I don't know the first thing that Like the meaning of being a mother because I give birth so I stayed with my child for three months and my parents took over after that and they sent me back to school and Being that my dad said that I was like, okay There's a reason why this child is here at this time and this is how I conceived him So I carried my child to the photo. I'm in delivered and I think during the pregnancy Because I didn't want to give birth to a child who is angry And my child is a very happy boy for people who met him He's a very happy boy. I was saying happy baby boy. Yes. All right. So Just to get a perspective so there's so many people who go through the same thing you've been through they never came out But it's a period of confusion. Yeah Right after I'm trying to understand What was some of the things people were telling you because you get a lot of misinformation from your friends and people around you They'll tell you and personally I'd never do this if this happened to me Yeah, I'd never what are some of the things people came around to tell you that you felt like we're really toxic Before I even came up because I wrote my story in 2016 around February and this happened in 2014 No one knew I had gone through rape No, I knew No, I knew I just disappeared from school. She'll tell you I disappeared the next time they saw me I was posting a picture of my son and everyone's like She was doing off-campus There was a lot of judgment before I spoke and For me it was a personal decision because you need to heal Not crying over spilt milk So I decided to blog and just write my story and that was your escape that was your outlet Yes, so I wrote my story like nothing unfiltered nothing censored anyone who reads that story today to tell you How can they get to read the blogs? Also, my blog is a lovely me web lovely me web at wordpress.com Lovely me web. Yes, so it's very important to find an escape or something. Yes, that you can use to release Exactly. Yeah, all right. She'll be telling us how you managed to keep a brave face like this Work like nothing happened and smile leave me in a few right leave me You you've you've been with people I don't want to call them victim survivors You've been with survivors. You have survivors around you From kids to grown-ups, right? All right. This rape culture. I Was walking in town sometime and then this guy tells this woman If your dress is above your knees, it's a mini skirt I thought it was all fun and games and I was like, yes facts facts facts And then he goes like if you're raped, then it's your own problem Then we were like, yeah that but no edit that part. We don't like that part So there's so many things that go around this rape culture And what are some of the things that you've come to learn about this rape culture in Kenya that I really Should really leave the building Number one rape culture finds it easier to blame the victim and not hold the perpetrator accountable Yes, and I'll give personally. I know for Jane's story Everyone blamed her for what happened Based on her story judgment was a number one judge Judge her and not the perpetrator. Remember you can judge two people if an act happens There's the person who did it and the person who received but then what we do is we find it easier to blame the victim So we'll say your miniskirt is it was asking for it You will say that where you are walking at night or how you are dressing in the house or what you are saying or how you act You know the people who are very friendly and very bubbly you asked for it. You wanted it So rape culture is centered on that that we blame the victim and not hold the perpetrator accountable rape culture is how we view women as objects sexual objects called Misogyny where men look at women and just see sex As opposed to seeing a human being so then when when it comes to rape people are like but You are with a man, you know, what were you expecting in a room like this? What did you want? I went to someone's office and I was raped there. What did you want you were with a man alone? So the near fact that I'm a woman and I walk into a room and I'm in a space with a man And we are having some sort of relationship be it small like just we've just met or be it hardcore that we are married It it entitles this man to sex You get or rape culture says that a common phrase that men say that she was wet So she was asking for it forgetting that it's a biological process that women can't get wet You know, so that's rape culture rape culture is looking at rape and seeing that this is something We don't talk about and so we pay harsh money You get because we need to dial the story down that it may not Tarnish the image of the community of the company that has the scandal So people are forced to hash about it. This is something that you don't like so much about it. All right, so Do we have cases where parents or victims or survivors tell them don't talk about their story It's going to bring embarrassment to our family. What would you tell such parents? I tell them that it's happened What you need to do is one and I keep saying this one and sure that the survivor knows that there's someone Behind them and fighting for them and sure the survivor knows that it's not their fault And ensure the survivor knows that there's going to be a day. They're going to get it justice Because you are there for them Secondly is paying harsh money doesn't stop the perpetrator from doing it again If you pay harsh money like a report was I think to a citizen yesterday listed a report about How parents are becoming that a report has been released that parents are becoming more dangerous to children now Because more defilement cases are being shown are being reported that parents are the perpetrators So how do you pay harsh money to my father who's defiling me then? How do you protect me from being raped again or being so normalized? You know, how do you protect someone if they're walking around the only way we seek just it's justice is getting them in prison But then you see the bad on him of proof is put on the victim because when it happens You have to go to hospital get the proof Taken you get but most victims because of how defiling it is you want to just clean it off You know, I I I haven't gone through it But they thought of someone raping me and going and taking this gift that is sex Because sex was created as a gift to be given Someone taking it from me and denying me the power to give and then I have to smell them on my body I have to feel that you know automatically my response is going and cleaning myself But most people don't know that you have to go to hospital get your proof because the the law Sexual Offences Act shows that there has to be proof that has been shown that this act happened and this person And that's the problem that we have most people are not aware of that most people are not aware that even The sexual offenses act says that attempted rape is actually something that someone can go for in prison for all right So so the problem we've come to a conclusion that the problem is a perpetrator's the problem is not the survivors It's nothing to do with us. All right. So what do you think is a problem with the perpetrators? Is it mental illness? Is it just kicking morals out of the door or what? I think it's a mirage of problems. There are people who have mental issues that now they exact The what they feel onto women sexually because that's how they feel they can do it Remember sex it rape is not about the sex. It's about power Rap is about exerting power on the victim showing the victim that I am in control So for many of these perpetrators like for a father with a child They are going through their own motions. And so they see this child as And a place where they can exert the power. There are people who are actually psycho Let's just start there. There are pedophiles from the beginning of it. It's just something that is a psych It's a psychological problem that they've not gotten help. So we should address the real issues right there There are very many other issues. There are people who They've seen pornography and so they want to act on it and because porn shows you Be DSM that you get it in when the girl says yes or no, it's still yes You know, so it's getting your knowledge from the wrong place. Yes getting your sexual knowledge from the wrong reasons That's a mirage of reasons. All right. So since we know where the problem is that and I'm sorry to say all the But most of the perpetrators are men. Yeah It's almost impossible to have a queen perpetrator a female perpetrator There are interestingly and right now the statistic the statistic shows like yesterday when I was with my in the other panel I was being told that the statistic currently shows that men are going through the highest GBV right now Yes, and men don't talk Because you see your face exactly that reaction is what men get when they come and say I have been raped Yes, because By my With that so they don't come out. They don't come out like Whatever I'm going after after this interview is also for another panel discussion We have a survivor who we've been working with really closely and if you hear his story You're like, okay. Well now mine is okay as in you even feel you are okay because I realized that men don't talk I will come to Libby. You know this happened that happened Libby will tell another person who is my friend and we'll now look for a way of making sure the person who did whatever it is to me pays But for a man, it's the societal how the society has made you guys feel like y'all should know So you're not supposed to to report you're supposed to feel a certain way Wow, so gender based violence when we talk about gender based violence. It's not aligned to one particular sex It's gone both ways. Yes. It doesn't have age. It doesn't have race. It doesn't have gender It doesn't have religion exactly because if you look at even the Muslims who are being raped Even look at Sudan right now the cases of rape are rising Especially because of the unrest when you look at Saudi Arabia. So many women are being raped Now tell me these women are wearing he jobs back a macho You can't blame a miniskirt You know, so rape is all about power and it's all about if you look at historical uses of rape during Colonial period during the black liberation rape was used to make the men know that who is in power So they defile the wife to make the man stay in line Wow Yeah, so it's sad story why to fair fortune on Twitter white faithful underscore channel on Instagram and white for a phone Facebook There's a way to interact with us. Be sure to join into this conversation You've used your comments and your questions are invited Don't forget the hashtag while in the morning and never ever forget to tell us where you're watching us from Hashtag wins Wednesday as well. So it's a power thing. Yes, and it's all here. Yes Wow moving forward Yes, because we cannot always be talking about problem without solutions moving forward What do you think are some of the solutions we can we can give do we get boys in in class as soon as they Get to class one we get them to a class where we teach them how to treat women or what I think first It's just awareness. Yeah Going to primary schools and telling children. This is how You're not supposed to be touched. No one should do this to you And if they do this to you, there's a place where you can come for you know If someone knows that if this happens, I can go there for sure they will come But what we have is people who don't know where to get help people don't know that if you call gvrc Which is Nairobi women's that they'll come and rescue you for free where you are if you are ripped You know, so having that information just having those discussions in family settings having those discussions and Prosecuting even family members who are perpetrators. So other family members will know that this is something that we do not So having those discussions in the family setting having those discussion in churches in mosques in religious centers everywhere So awareness number one awareness number one awareness awareness awareness I've always believed in conversation and I've talked about things. Yes, talk about things And I always want the men to spearhead this conversation Because we are known as emotional beings women But when a man text charging says by the way this has been happening I feel like their voice is always had louder for some reason that is one number two For some reason I've always believed that it's like people are forgetting their moral principles and we are seeing this because From my experience the person who raped me was not brought up by a man And there's a way in which when you see your your dad treat your mom a certain way You'd want to treat your wife that way if your dad treats your mom like a queen You want to treat your wife someday as a queen you'd want to protect your daughters and all that and for me It's always been how the men are treated from the word go Mechs like forms who they are If you grew up with a man Yes, if you grew up with the father beating up your mom for some reason you'll just feel comfortable beating your wife You pick up on the lessons. It's the same way you hear women have daddy issues Why it's because they are looking for that acceptance from a male figure and daddy was never that daddy was never there So he's looking for a daddy in another man So I feel like from the word go how you bring up your child really matters because it's very hard for a man who has seen Sisters mothers being treated a certain way to go rape someone or even a man who has been taught This is the standard of how we treat women and women who have been taught This is the standard of treating men exactly train up a child in the ways of the Lord And they will never depart from it. That's a very fundamental principle So you teach up a child that this is how women are treated. This is how men are treated and they will never They will never depart. They may stray once in a while, but the fundamentals of it. They know they don't forget But what we're having is children who are brought are not brought up. We are letting the screens right now Bring up our kids, but I've never heard of something as a parenting school. You know, there's no there's no parenting school There's no parenting, but you learn lessons from one another. Exactly. Yeah, so in our circles That's why it's important that this rape discussion happens with with our parents with our grandparents with us And then now without our children because generations are being brought up Right now we are at the statistics say every 30 minutes in Kenya a girl or woman is being raped If right now 2019 we are talking about every 30 minutes if we do not solve this problem We're going to be talking about 20 20 every five minutes. There's someone is being raped Wow statistics, I said yes, just a Painter picture of how this this is a very Bad crime or hideous one Take us back to the Bible. You are sharing a story with me cases where we've seen great cases in the Bible and how they were handled I went into Phase where I was reading a lot about the Bible and what they needed to cause I'm a Christian and I needed to do something You know people wait for something to happen to them so that they become activists for it and for me I just like I can't I can't go on looking at my friends and thinking. I wish I could do something So I went into this phase while doing the research for my song I was reading about what God did after someone was raped. So I'll give two instances Diner Diner was raped and her brothers were infuriated. They were so hungry. So what they did The king who raped her came to the family and said give us diner and let us marry her Now the king was not from the community where the Israelites? Yeah, so they were not circumcised the brother said you guys have to be circumcised And this king said will give you anything you want in this world will give you anything just ask for it And give us diner so the brother said anything we want your whole community your whole society the whole city to be circumcised the men So when they were circumcised in the middle of the night the brothers went into the city and slaughtered all the men Why because they were still they were here. Yeah. Yeah, it was a game plan and Jacob Jacob now The father asked them why did you cause this war because now this will cause more retaliation from the community and the brother said should we have allowed this man to treat our sister like a prostitute and That statement cut me to the core that The more we allow more women to be raped and more men to be raped is saying that their lives are not worthy That they are just sex tools that we can use and misuse and we know where we have sisters and moms And yes, but we shouldn't be saying that we shouldn't wait until it happens to someone we love then we care Rape is a fundamental Offense, so it's a capital offense. Exactly. Yes that people died Because of because of one rapist. Yes. The second case is The lever it's wife Concubine she was raped and left half dead in front of his house And so what this husband did he cut her pieces in 12 sent to all the tribes of Israel and told them that this is what has happened and the benjamites protected the perpetrators because it was a gang of men Protected the perpetrators and the whole tribe of Israel. Remember, Benjamites were a tribal if of Israel the whole 11 of them Ganged up against Benjamites and three times went to attack them and killed all the men Because of one woman being raped. How many women are being raped within this whole program? If the statistics say 30 minutes one person so in a two hour program we have four people You should have died by now, and that's Kenya. All right The statistics around the world are even more painful Whoo, and this is where you got inspiration for your song. All right, and this particular song is Against gender-based violence as much as it is religious. Yes. All right. What is the name of the song? The song is called rise again. In fact when it took 16 months Writing this song because of the research, you know, it is a very touchy topic to discuss so I wrote it the first part I wrote in February of 2018 and I walked into studio and I was so angry now after doing the research and I was like, what do I need to do? So I walked into studio and I remember singing out the verses and the verses are real life stories So the first verse was important for me because a four-year-old in the newspaper had been raped by the uncle And the uncle had lured them inside the room by telling them I'll give you a sweet In Then raped the child The second story is a very close colleague of mine She was raped. She left work late and then you know the way you shook a matatu This Ocha Ocha places And then the whole street there's only one light but that light was off that it was not working well And so this guy pounced on her and raped her. The second story is another close friend who? Hi and her husband He was beating her so she left the his house went and found another house in the middle of the night the guy comes and He found I tracked her down found her raped her and after raping He said that you are mine, and you will never go anywhere His act caused her to have countless number of surgeries because he had completely completely injured her She had to have she had to be sewn up her vagina had to be sewn up She had she got pregnant after that and then she had to the pregnancy. She lost it again So now you can imagine what she was going through And so I sang out the verses and I was in tears and then the middle part is a spoken word Which is a letter from the victim saying that this is what you did you thought it was a few seconds of pleasure But for you it was a few seconds for me you auctioned me to a system that hides behind religion You auctioned me to a system of justice that finds it easier to blame the victim then hold the perpetrator accountable But regardless of all that I have a God who heals and restores and You should know that this is me waging war and I will not be silenced because no one deserves to be raped And then that's when we sing out I will rise again And I want to say this it was important for me to have the African chants in the song Because that was an act of waging war Whenever Africans used to go to war they would sing before they actually do the actual battle In African culture it was the role of the man to take care of the community them the women and children Yes, and that's why I had Manasseh Shalom singing out the African chants as a male representation that We are going to go to war for you And even if you look at the music video we had men from different ages Saying that this is something we want to fight for you And this woman who are very passionate about it and they reached out and they said we want to be a part of this project Yes, wonderful. I will rise again by Libby will be playing that in a few but before that Jane Your last remarks to the people that you're talking to right now And how can they get to be part of the support group that you run? After I will rise let me just go to that after rise again. I remember My friend and I sent Libya text because for some reason I got the link and immediately I Told you for a moment. I was in the office and I stopped It spoke to you this song for some I relieved my moments like through the song I was relieving every moment. I went through and I got shipped and I cried and I even told you that it moved me and For some reason we decided to start a movement here and and we are working on it You all will hear about it by the same time I really want to tell guys out there number one to the parents It's not the fault of your daughter or your son when they get shipped All they're looking for after that is a safe space. I will tell you for sure The reason I maintain my smile is because number one. There's someone fighting for me. Who is God number two? My parents were very instrument. They're still there. There are times that I Go through I relieve my moments. I won't say that I healed completely There are days that you walk see a man and you're like this is trash for lack of a better town and I relieve the moments and I go through a whole face and I just have to call my mom and tell mom by the way Today I must beat up someone Because of this this and that and number three stop normalizing grip Do not normalize it and that is all fans. Yes, and that is what is killing us as a society We've decided to normalize this thing When your daughter comes and it's you the father who's done that do not protects The father do not protect that do not protect the offender just as Libby has said So at the end of the day, this is our war that all of us are fighting together You have to protect your sister and it's sad for me It's sad because when we were growing up who are not talking about trip Your mother wanted like your mother wanted you to go play with the neighbors Go play with whoever your mother didn't have the reservation of what if You know right now I'm sending her to go play with Libby's daughter and I'm not so sure what is going to happen there I'm a figure, you know things like that and that is not the society we grew up in and that is not the society We want to raise okay exactly So this is our war that all of us have to like come together and fight against all right Yeah, thank you very much for that. How can they get to be part of the groups that you run sometimes? Right now we are in the starting processes of whatever projects that we're doing because personal for me. It's It's a one-stop-shop. I when Libby was saying when you report Like there's the fear of going to report and we realize that the cops are also not being instrumental in this because they make you Relieve everything so when we'll be ready. I'll be posting when I need a team and things like that And I'm so sure they can find you on social media. Yes. What is your hand? Okay, oh my Instagram page is miss underscore James with a Y And my Facebook page is James. I'm windy on book. Thank you very much. You're social media social media is Libby Underscore number everywhere. What about you to the most YouTube is Libby Dumbo the song is rise again Yes, and you can be part of the movement We are doing a movement on hoodies the hoody. I'm wearing it has messages from the song So you can reach out to us on our social media platforms, and we'll be able to plug in the same one Libby Yes, yes, all right. Thank you very much for coming and thank you very much for what you're doing And thank you very much for the movement. We need this for to secure a good future for our kids Yes, all right. We have come to the end of this strength of a woman today. We had amazing Queens in studio with me. We're about to listen to I will rise again By Libby then color me Val will be back with some more wine the morning dope on the way That was easy, right?