 When you dispose of the narcissist when you finally decide to take out the trash They condition you to believe that you need them and That is what keeps you holding on it makes you think that you have invested in something Something that is eventually going to benefit you in some way Something that is worth fighting for this is why you support the narcissist illusion for so long Because you really believe that they had something they tricked you They made you believe that they were going to be useful or beneficial to you But at some point you begin to realize that something is not right You start to suspect that they have been involved in dishonest behavior You start to realize that everything is not as it seems You were tricked into believing in the illusion and the narcissist believed in it as well They believed in it through their denial and magical thinking So you both think that no matter how bad things are eventually it will get better You're just going through a difficult time You're always working through something and this is something narcissists always do They just assume that it's going to work itself out Without them having to change their bad behavior Without them realizing that they have to fix something Without them making an effort to change and improve it Because they don't really want things to get better anyway They need chaos and drama They thrive in a dysfunctional environment. It fuels them. They take advantage of it They want to keep you in that environment because that's how they control you It keeps you off balance. It keeps you distracted It leaves you unable to focus by keeping you in denial by keeping you trapped in the illusion When you think of disposing the narcissist They see it as though they need to regain their comfort and order Which is always going to be chaos and discomfort for you If they can do that, they assume that everything is going to be okay You can take care of them, but it doesn't work out that way Because they never consider that you're a separate person You learn change and grow You don't want to stay the same for the rest of your life You can accept that the problems exist You can accept that the narcissist is the cause of your problems And then choose to move on with your life Narcissists cannot do that They have to deny their problems or blame them on you Just imagine what your future will be like for the narcissist It's not going to be a bright future It's going to be very unpleasant No matter what the narcissist puts in your head No matter what you would rather believe It's never going to come into fruition It's never going to exist in reality It will always be based on denial Or as a fantasy in your head Narcissists don't want things to be good anyway What's good for you is not good for them The future can only end badly You're not going to be able to maintain your current rate or level For long periods of time It's too physically and mentally demanding for anyone to deal with At some point you're going to break down Being with a narcissist is not sustainable Because there's no equal exchange There's no reciprocation So you're giving away everything that is meant to sustain you And you're left with nothing to replenish yourself They're not giving you anything back in return So it's destined to fail It's destined to fall apart When you are bearing the load of all their problems and difficulties It's going to weigh you down You can't deal with all of their emotional problems And regulate yourself at the same time At some point it's going to break down But if you're fortunate You will dispose of the narcissist before it gets to that point You will stop supporting them And then it will end badly for them But it doesn't have to end badly for you When you leave a narcissist It's only bad for them It doesn't have to be bad for you It can actually be very good for you Because they're no longer a part of your life They're no longer weighing you down When you get wrapped up with a narcissist It is a difficult thing to deal with And you do have to find your way out of that situation What keeps you holding on is thinking that it's going to get better When you cannot make it better They made you believe that you were the problem But no matter what you did to change it Nothing worked Because you were not the problem If you were the problem Then something you tried would have resolved the situation by now You can't fix it because it's not your problem to fix It's theirs But they are in denial They are refusing to fix it Which means that it's never going to get better It's always going to be this way Narcissists have broken damaged people There is nothing you can do to fix them Even if there was They wouldn't like it They wouldn't want your help Because they think there's nothing wrong with them They think there's something wrong with you They think you're the one who needs help They don't like the idea of personal growth and development It doesn't mean anything to them It's not important They cannot accept their problems They cannot regulate their own emotions They will only ever try to pull you into it No matter what happens It is going to end badly for the narcissist It's going to be painful And while it may also be painful for you You're going to learn from it You're going to gain more experience about these types of people But they're not going to learn anything They're just going to pull you into it again You've been conditioned to believe That you have to carry their emotional baggage But that's their problem They're trying to dump their problems onto you When you dispose of the narcissist They will try to turn everyone against you They will try to make your friends and family see you as a bad person They will take your children away from you They will threaten you with financial difficulties They will take advantage of any money or possessions you have And they will try to turn everyone against you These are the problems that you might have to deal with You will also experience a lot of personal growth and development Following the end of the relationship Depending on how damaged you were Before being involved with them But that is the difference between us We can overcome it We can heal and become better versions of ourselves They could not do that So don't fall for the illusion that things are going to improve They want you to think that it's just a difficult time And it's all your fault But you will find a way to figure it out As though they're working with you But it's not true They will just continue to use it on you As long as it is effective Until it stops working on you Until you become more experienced with it But they don't anticipate that happening Because they don't see their own problems They don't recognise that the relationship is not sustainable They don't recognise that it is negative and unhelpful No matter how good they may be at learning and devising certain ideas At some point they run out of tricks It doesn't work on you anymore Because it's not sustainable People eventually catch on to it And that is why they have to move on to someone else But when you dispose the narcissist They will try to turn people against you They will try to get people on their side And you should just let them do that Let them have something If you don't Who knows what they will do next If they don't have something That's when they go crazy That's when they do dangerous and destructive things But once the storm has passed They will always be left worse off It always ends worse for them than it does for you Because you can hold yourself accountable You can be responsible for yourself They don't do that So it's inevitable that they will fall into ruin without you Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at Coaching.narc-survivor.co.uk Thank you for watching And I'll talk to you soon