 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited for doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, The Seven Ways, a woman gives her power away to a man and you don't wanna do number six. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video the content resonates with you, please do me a favor and hit that like button so this can be seen in the YouTube algorithm. Also, this is your explicit language warning. Throughout the video, I may use expletives to enhance the sentence and if that is not your cup of tea, I highly suggest logging off right now. All right, let's jump into the topic of The Seven Ways, a woman gives her power away to a man and you don't wanna do number six. All right, so one thing you've heard, if you've been following my work for a while, you've heard me say this over and over and over again. How much I've witnessed women giving their power away to a man in relationship. I'm gonna repeat that, giving their power away to a man in relationship. And today I'm gonna share with you the seven ways a woman gives her power away. I'm sure there's a lot more than seven, but these are the seven that kinda come to mind for me. But before we do that, excuse me, let me reverse that. I'm trying to not use the word but in a sentence and before we do that, I wanna express why I think this happened. So I'm gonna do this kind of in reverse. I'm gonna share the why and then give the examples. Now the reason why I think this happens and it's quite frankly, it's anecdotal on my part. It's purely a hypothesis. I don't have any data to back this up. It's just observational from my point of view. When you think about it, throughout history, women have been dependent upon men for survival. I'm gonna repeat that, women have been dependent upon men for survival, certainly from caveman days, all the way really at least up until about the 1960s here in the United States, literally. What is that, a million years or a billion years? I don't know when cavemen started, but certainly within the last few hundred or from the last thousands of years, women have been dependent upon men for their survival. So I think on some level, women naturally give their power away from a instinctual perspective because this has happened throughout history for so long. We've lived in basically a misogynist environment, a patriarchal environment. Women were treated like second class citizens. Women couldn't vote, at least here in the United States up until about a hundred plus years ago. And quite frankly, it wasn't until about the 1960s when not just the feminist movement, because to me that was more of an empowerment movement by women, and women began to be more prolific in the workforce, not from a secretarial perspective, but from a high income earning perspective. So up until about, let's think about that, for thousands of years, women have been dependent upon men and that has certainly changed. Most women are not financially dependent upon men unless they're maybe in a marriage and the arrangement is the man is the worker and the woman takes care of children at home if that's their arrangement. So this is where I think the why comes from, why women have given their power away. In addition, the traditional dating process is that the men do the asking for the dates, men do the paying for dates, men do the asking for marriage. Let's just think about this. Basically, and this is even prevalent today, it boils down to whether or not the man wants to get married. It's not, you know, woman may wanna get married but if it's not until the man wants to get married, it's literally on his terms. So think about that, we've moved past the 60s and it's still very traditional that the men do the asking. So on some level, a woman is dependent upon waiting for a man to do the asking. Now I'm not suggesting that a woman is waiting but it's basically set up that way. So can you see how this occurred, how we've come to a place where women oftentimes give their power away in the relationship from the very first, second, third date because how the narrative has been set up and I certainly wanna change that. That's one of the reasons why my coaching practice here is to empower women from a place of both self-love like my book what the heck is self-love anyway? By the way, there's a link below to get my book. Anyone who's familiar with it, to love on themselves because self-love is your self-worth, your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-reliance. And also to recognize that the dating process from the very first date is a two-lane street. It's a two-lane street. Both people, man and woman, since I deal with heterosexual relationships, should be jumping in a car, traveling at the same speed together from the very first date. It's not the woman jumps into the man's car and then he goes at whatever speed he wants and he drops you off. It's like a bus stop. He drops you off when he wants. He lets you back on when he wants. That's not the way I see relationships. I see relationships as a two-lane street and it starts from the very first date. Starts from the very first date. That's the way I, that's the narrative I'm encouraging people to operate on instead of this men are chivalrous and they're just going to claim you. And all you have to do is sit back in your feminine energy and everything will magically work out. Yeah, magic fairy dust works out about zero of the time. So I'm gonna now share with you the seven ways a woman gives her power way in relationship. And I hope you find this interesting and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well. So put on my trusty glasses. Folks, I've got my notes right here. You can see. So let's jump into seven ways women give their power way to a man. Number one is the relationship is on his terms. Basically you women, and I apologize for saying it that way but I just witnessed so many women who abandoned their standards and their boundaries based on the man. I'm gonna repeat that they abandoned their standards and their boundaries based on the man. So it looks something like this. Your standard is that you'd like to have a relationship where you see each other three or four times a week. You have regular contact on the phone. I'm just giving you a couple of words. I'm just giving an example. You'd like to have regular contact on the phone together. You'd like to do social activities together. You'd like to do hobbies together. You'd like to spend time with family and friends, physical intimacy on a regular basis. And that's your standard. That's what you want. But the man you're with is like, well, I wanna see you once every two weeks. I just wanna hook up with you and have sex with you and then move on. And that's his standard, okay? Well, if your standard is that you wanted this type of relationship, but his standard is something different, substantially different and it's not a compromise. You haven't agreed to this. It's just basically his way or the highway. You have also basically not set up boundaries within your standards. This is one common way women give their power away to men. They abandon their standards. They abandon their boundaries and the relationship is on all his terms. Can any of you to relate to this? If you can, please hit that like button right now or please comment in the chat section saying, yes, I've done this. Okay, number two, you're afraid to speak your truth in relationship. You're afraid to speak your truth in relationship with him. Ladies, one of the reasons why when I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, is that chapter one is speak your truth, do it with kindness. Speak your truth, do it with kindness. What that means is if something is material to the relationship and it's affecting the relationship, maybe something going on within you, maybe something going on with him, please speak your truth to a guy. That is probably one of the top things I witness is women so afraid because Jonathan, if I speak my truth, he might run away. He might leave me. Yeah, he might, he might because he might not be the right guy. And let me just tell you this, the right guy appreciates your truth. Let me repeat that, the right guy appreciates your truth. Chapter nine of my book, chapter nine, let me just read to the heading here. If it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing. Here, I'm gonna put that up again. If it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to a guy. Ladies, this is a perfect example of how so many of you are giving your power away to a man. Does that resonate with you? Please give it a thumbs up. If you've done it, please post a comment in the chat box because I witnessed this over and over and over again amongst women. Okay, number three. When the relationship ends, the focus is on him and not yourself. Let me repeat that, when the relationship ends, the focus is on him and not yourself. I can't tell you how many women call me for coaching sessions all the time. And they're hyper focused on what he did wrong and why he should change and why this should have happened and why it's always him, him, him, him. It's not looking inward and saying, why aren't you angry that you accepted bad behavior? Why aren't you angry? Now I don't mean to necessarily say angry at yourself, but why aren't you looking inward and say, why did I accept this behavior? Why did I accept the crumbs? Why did I accept the ghosting, the pulling away, the asking for space and then coming back the rubber band? Why did you accept that? Because when you can get to that place of understanding it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. And what I mean to say is your emotions and your feelings have nothing to do with him. They have everything to do with inside of you. And this is a prime example of how I witness women give their power away over and over and over again. Can any of you to relate to this? Please give a thumbs up again and hit that like button and mention in the chat, have you ever done that? Okay, number four, you're waiting for him to initiate the contact. You're waiting for him to initiate contact. Oh my God, ladies, I can't begin to tell you. I get these messages. I haven't heard from him in a week. I haven't heard from him in a week. I haven't heard from him in a week. And I'm like, my first response is, well, did you reach out to him? No. I'm like, what? Yeah, Jonathan, I'm not supposed to reach out to him. What? Yeah, Jonathan, the book, The Rules, saying we women aren't supposed to contact men. Men are supposed to do all the work. What the fuck? Right, I mean, this is what this stupid book has taught so many of you ladies, is that it's supposed to be the man's job to do all the work in the relationship. It's just, he's the giver. He's the doer. He's in his masculine. And I just sit back in my feminine energy and just hope that he's gonna do everything perfectly. Ladies, remember when I said a relationship is a two lane street, that means both initiating, but that's basically saying, hey, you know, you can reach out with a text message, but Jonathan, I need to know that he loves me and that's the only way I can prove he loves me is if he initiates contact. Oh my God, ladies, let me just say this. You don't need constant validation to know whether or not he cares about you. Let me repeat that. So many of you are requiring constant, constant, constant, constant validation by knowing, but if he texts me, I know he loves me. No, texting doesn't prove he loves you. Being in a fully committed relationship and communicating with one another, that's one method of proving love. But texting is simply oftentimes, many of you are to have the need of constant communication to validate your feelings and God forbid he doesn't contact you for a week. You're in chaos over the whole thing. I can't tell you how many women reach out to me absolute chaos. How many of you have done this on a regular basis because he didn't reach out? The telephone goes both ways, ladies. It's not a one-way street. And maybe he's not contacting because he is done. It doesn't matter, but you don't have to wait for him. You can pick up the phone. You can shoot a text message. You can do a FaceTime. Okay, number five. You stop doing your pre-relationship life. You stop doing your pre-relationship life. In other words, your interests, your activities, your friends. This happened. You stop doing your pre-relationship life after meeting the man. You basically, you put him up on a pedestal and then abandon the balance of your life. Now, I'll be candid with you folks. I've done the same thing on this one. I have put a woman up on a pedestal. I abandoned my friends. That is kind of a natural thing that does happen. But not butt. Remember, I'm trying to eliminate butt from my language, my communication. Is doing that though, is also giving one's power away to another human being. Again, this whole narrative that men are the leaders of the relationship has gotten so many of you stuck in believing that it's all based on him. Ladies, you are in charge of your relationship, Destiny. You are in charge of your relationship, Destiny, not the man. So stop, so go back to you. Never abandon your activities just for a guy. Now, that doesn't mean that life isn't going to change or in a relationship, absolutely. But don't abandon, kind of trying not to say butt. Don't abandon those things that are important to you for the guy. Find a way to incorporate the things with the guy. Does that make sense? I hope it does. All right. Now, this is number six. This is the one that I see happen over and over and over again. And I hope to gosh, you change this. I really do. And that's feeling like you can't live without him. Feeling like you can't live without him. Ladies, you existed well before the man entered in the relationship. And if the man ever leaves, you will exist quite fine after him. This whole notion that the sky will fall if the relationship ends. This is one of the reasons why you give your power away. Listen, men are not attracted to women who give their power to them. That just sets them up in very misogynistic role, which means that they can use you whenever you want. But a high quality guy, let me reframe that, a high emotional maturity guy doesn't want any of these things to happen. And especially the last thing is you feeling like you can't live without him because high quality men don't even, matter of fact, when I say high quality, I simply mean high emotional maturity. High emotional maturity men push these women aside very quickly because they are seeking a partner. They're seeking that two lane street kind of relationship and not one where they're driving the bus. Let me tell you, high value, high quality, high emotional maturity men are seeking partners in their life. And certainly they're not seeking someone who puts them up on such a pedestal. Only an egoic man appreciates the woman putting on a pedestal. And let me tell you something, the egoic man, and what I mean to say is he's living in his ego, likes it for a period of time until he gets bored with it. So stop putting up on a pedestal and stop feeling like you can live without him. And the last and number seven, number seven is you think the other person is the only other person in the entire world who you'll have this kind of chemistry with. Let me repeat that. You think, I can't tell you how many times women reach out to me, but Jonathan, our connection is so one of a kind. It's like I've never experienced before. I better abandon my whole self and put, let him be in charge of the relationship because I don't want to lose him. Ladies, how many multiple times have you had connection with someone? These days the average person's had practically a dozen relationships. And I'm sure you've had more than one connection with a person. Here's the thing, we have multiple soulmates in our lives. We have multiple soulmates in our lives and we have an opportunity to meet multiple true partners in our life. It starts when we love on ourself. When we love on ourself, the right partner will enter into our life. It will actually be like a magnetic force that that will happen. So I want to encourage you. Stop giving your power, I'm spitting. Stop giving your power away to man and start retaining the power within. Does this make sense? Does this resonate with you? Please let me know. If it does and you're in the chat box saying, yes, I've done some of these things Jonathan and I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop doing these things. Write that in that chat box because I want to see it. All right, just to repeat those seven things real quick and we're going to jump into the Q&A section of this broadcast. So relationship is on his terms. You're afraid to speak your truth. When the relationship ends, the focus is on him waiting for him to initiate contact, stopping doing your pre-activity, your pre-relationship life after you meet the man. Feeling like you can't live without him. And lastly, you think this is the only person you'll have any chemistry with. That's a lot to cover. And now it's time for the Q&A. All right, really quickly. If you're new to my YouTube channel and if you're listening to the audio version of this, you're not going to be able to put this in the chat box, but on the YouTube channel, in the chat box, if you have a question, write the word question or purchase a super sticker or super chat and post a question that's easier for me to find when you do that, super stickers and super chats. The monies from that go to a foundation. I'm going to be starting in the honor of my son, Connor. That's him, my son who passed away. And the goal is to start a scholarship fund to help people with personal development work. Actually folks, before I get started today, I do have something to share. Tomorrow, July 3rd is the third anniversary of Connor's passing. And I'll be candid with you for the last couple of days I've been feeling very melancholy, very somber, very almost borderlining on depression. This is a very hard time a year for me. And I can't believe it's been three years since I've seen my baby. Folks, I hope to God, nobody ever has to experience seeing their lifeless child. And sadly, in the last three years, I've had so many people reach out to me that they've lost their child. In fact, just yesterday I learned of a woman who lost her son named Connor and I'll never forget the week I lost Connor. I had a friend who lost her Connor few months before that. I'm like, oh my God, I hope it's not the name. Folks, no parent should, I'm trembling right now. No parent should ever go through what I've experienced. And while I know Connor doesn't want me to suffer any day of my life and he certainly, I know he's in heaven looking down on me so proud of me because he encouraged me to write my second book called What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? And I'd be truly honored if you purchased a copy if you haven't already done so yet. He is throughout the book and he was the inspiration for it. He is the inspiration for me to get up even when I'm not feeling like doing these videos to help encourage a shift in perspective, to help encourage better loving, to help women in particular stop giving their power away to men and is through Connor's love and strength for me that allows me to lean into this. And so on his behalf, I wanna thank you all for your love and support. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate how much of you. And if you notice this picture right here, that's the one I posted yesterday on YouTube and I really appreciate all the hundreds and hundreds of comments many of you sent for me. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. All right, time to take questions. If you have a question, post the word question and write it out. And I'm gonna start looking, bear with me one second. I'm just looking for something I can't find it. Oh, there it is. I felt naked without wearing my ring. By the way, I wear this ring on my right hand in the ring finger to attract my soulmate. A friend of my wrote a book called Ring Shwe and she said, if you place a finger like a wedding finger on the opposite hand that attracts your soulmate. So that's why I was feeling naked without my ring. All right, oh, I see some beautiful comments. Thank you so much. I really do from bottom of my heart appreciate this. All right, so let's see if there's any questions here. Oh, I wanna thank Bridget for the super sticker. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. See if there's any questions. If you have a question, post the word question. Okay, Angela wrote, here's an interesting comment. So Angela wrote, Jonathan, you have the feminine wiles down very well, LOL. I appreciate your candor and passion with us. Thank you very much. And I love your haircut. You can use however, instead, yes, I have. I'm assuming, yeah, I put gel in but it's not sticking up so well. So thank you so much, Angela, I appreciate that. Let's see if there's any questions. If you have a question, post the word question and then write the question thereafter. Joy says, yes, I've tested chapter one, Jonathan. I spoke the truth and realized we had just a friendship. This opened me up to move forward and onward to the kind of relationship I want and I need in my life. Oh my gosh, Joy, I'm so proud of you. Ladies, speak your truth to men. Can I tell you something? Actually, the more you speak your truth and lead by example, the closer a man will come to you. Let me repeat that, the more you speak your truth from a heart centered place, if this is the right guy, he's gonna start coming closer to you. Now, let me just say this. Speaking your truth is not vomiting your feelings. Let me tell you something. Men really abhorred women who vomit their feelings and there's this expression that women say in 10,000 words what men can say in 2,000 words. And I'm sure it's more like women say in 20,000 words what men can say in 500 words. When you're expressing yourself, be concise, be focused on how you're feeling but come from a place of calmness and preciseness when you're sharing your truth. When you're just vomiting your feelings, we're trying to fish through the vomit to find whatever thing that caused you to throw up. I just made that up right now but let me just think, I just want you to think about this, ladies. When you vomit your feelings, we're spending the whole time trying to, then we don't wanna touch the vomit but we're trying to find out what was the thing that caused you to vomit. What I mean to say is start with the specific issue and then share the balance of your feelings. I'm gonna repeat that. Start with your specific issue and then share the balance of your feelings. That will go a long way to actually helping him open up to do the same thing. I'm gonna repeat that. When you can express yourself in a kind, loving way. And I know, let me just say something. Recently I did a video about breadcrumbing and I told all of you that in that video was to basically tell the guy to fuck off and delete him on your phone. I recognize that's very harsh. But here's the thing, when someone is acting like a child, sometimes you have to smack them in the butt to get them to wake up. And when someone is bread crumbing, that's child-like behavior, that's not adult behavior and sometimes you gotta smack a child, you know what? My dad used to smack me in the butt. Couple times he smacked me in the face. Dad, I know you didn't mean it, that's my mom and dad, I know you didn't mean it, but that was the product of his generation. But sometimes we need, sometimes men need a smack on the butt. So again, if we're talking about a relationship where two people are working together and exploring a committed relationship with one another, speak your truth, do it with kindness, don't vomit your feelings, be precise, and then express yourself. And I promise you, the more you do it, the more you do it, the more you do it, the closer and closer and closer and closer, you too will get. Because let me tell you something, we men, well, if you're hiding your feelings, it's that, what's that old, the elephant in the room? It will rear its ugly head in a way that you won't appreciate. And that's my invitation for you. Is this sinking in? Please let me know by hitting that like button. All right, let's see what a joy, great question. Thank you so much. If you have a question, post the word question. Oh, there we go. Folks, by the way, sometimes it's hard for me to see in this chat, so. All right, Kimberly writes, question, how do I get past those you feelings? Hugs, Jonathan, I lost a son in the NICU, then lost my marriage. Totally understand how you're feeling, praying for tomorrow. Thank you. How do I get past those you feelings? Okay, so I think what Kimberly's talking about when it's all focused on him, it's not focused on self. You know what, this reminds me of a line in the TV show, couples therapy, couples therapy. It's interesting, most couples that go to therapy, by the way, couples therapy is on showtime. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend rent showtime for a month, binge watch season one or two, it is fascinating to sit behind the scenes on actual couples therapy. But what was interesting, the therapist said, is she said, most couples go to therapy hoping to change, hoping their partner is going to change. They hope that the therapist changes their partner. That's focused on him, what everybody should be looking at. By the way, everybody should look at themselves and saying, what do I need to change inside myself? I wanna read you a couple of the titles in my book. Take responsibility for your choices, chapter seven. Chapter eight, everything happens for you and not to you. Number 11, or excuse me, number 12, your thoughts create your feelings. Understand, chapter 16, understand and accept others' experiences. Folks, I understand it's hard not to focus on the other person's feelings, but do yourself, I'm gonna imagine that this is a mirror right now, okay? This is a mirror, always look in the mirror and say, what within myself is coming up? What within myself is coming up? What within myself is coming up? What within myself is coming up? What starts, sometimes you have to repeat 100 times until you actually change the narrative. And that's one suggestion I'm making for you to shift the narrative outside of him and focusing on yourself. Kimberly, I hope that helps. Thank you so much for that question. Maria, thank you so much for the super sticker. I really appreciate that. Okay, Sadie writes, question, Jonathan, I have everything I need in life, but I have no partner. I don't need a man, but I would like to have one. Will this put men off? I've been told that men need to be needed. Well, first off, I wanna give you your props, okay? Because when you say you don't need a man, that's basically recognizing that your life doesn't center around having a man in your life. And what I suspect is life is better shared. That's what you're really asking me. Here's the thing, in relationship, we constantly need each other. It's going to happen. Maybe you're not feeling that right now because you're not in relationship. But there are, you know, men wanna feel needed and women wanna feel needed in relationship. That's a very natural thing. Men wanna feel needed. You know, you've heard this narrative. Men wanna be your hero, you know, and women wanna be cherished. Basically, human beings, let's focus on stop the narrative being needed. And how about both men and women want to feel loved? They want to feel loved. Here's one of the things I highly recommend is reading the book by Barbara DeAngelis. How to make love all the time. When you understand how to really enrich your, these books I recommend are all about how to enrich your relationship from the fantasy you've all adopted. You've all adopted the fantasy that all it takes is two people being together and magic fairy dust will make everything work out so magically. Ladies, I say this over and over again. Read the book, Eight Dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman. This teaches you the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. When you understand how to build the deep roots of trust, when you understand how to build the deep roots of trust and the mechanics of a relationship, you're actually better prepared to have that juicy, delicious relationship you desire. And if you're a single woman and seeking help on that, check out a link to a free discovery call with me because my area of expertise is teaching you how to determine true compatibility with a partner, how to ask the right questions to determine if you're compatible, how to vet for emotional maturity by using what I call an emotional aptitude test. Let me repeat that, an emotional aptitude test. Ladies, before the penis ever goes inside the vagina, you should be asking a lot better questions instead of, but Jonathan, every other dating coach says, have fun, just have fun. You know, it's all about having fun. You know what, we should just have fun. I'm just gonna sit back in my feminine energy and have fun and I'm gonna play the book, The Rules, and he's just gonna naturally know exactly what to do and our relationship is gonna be so fucking perfect. You know, I crack up, I am cracking up, I'm sorry. I sometimes witness absolute buffoon behavior. Listen, if a 20-year-old acts like a buffoon, you gotta give him, you gotta give it to them, okay? If a 30-year-old, you still haven't experienced life. Folks, when you hit 40, 50, or 60, stop acting like children in relationships and learn how to become an adult in relationship. Definitely read this book, How to Become an Adult in Relationship. I can tell you both men and women like are acting like effing children. You're acting like effing children. Giving your power away is a perfect example. Let's think about this. We literally from birth have been controlled by our parents. We're so used to be controlled by other people that it's no wonder we give our power away in a relationship and I'm here to say, stop. Oops, I don't want you to see my armpit stains. Stop giving your power away. God, screaming gets my throat sore. By the way, folks, I yell just like a child about to touch fire. That's why I yell because I witnessed so many of you about to touch a flame and I'm saying, stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop giving your power away to men and start retaining. Do you know why men love bitches? I'm gonna do a video on this, but let me tell you. A friend of mine made the acronym, bitch. Babe in total control of herself. I'm gonna repeat that. Babe or beauty, total control of herself. That's what a bitch is. Men are attracted to women who retain their self-worth, their self-esteem, their self-confidence. They are in their sovereignty. By the way, emotionally mature men appreciate that. Egoic men, listen, egoic men are looking for weak women. Egoic men are looking for women that they can basically treat as property. Egoic men are looking for relationships based on their terms and egoic men, the children have no fucking clue what they're doing in relationship and all they want is connection and sex with you and they aren't willing to invest anything into a relationship. That is the child ego, the child ego operating as an adult. Stop choosing children to be relationships and first start becoming an adult in relationship and you'll stop choosing children. Can I get an amen please? Thank you. All right, thank you for your question, Sadie. I really appreciate that. Mary Kay says, or Mary Nott says, God, I butchered that. May Nott says, I have a platonic male friend who continually harps about his ex and how badly they treated him. He takes no responsibility for staying with them for years and it's pathetic. Yes, isn't it pathetic to witness people giving their power away? And what's most, what's really pathetic is when you give your power away, knowing you're giving your power away and then saying, but I can't help myself. That's pathetic. Lack of self-discipline is pathetic. And I see this continually, continually, continually. Stop giving your power away. Thank you, May Nott, I appreciate that. Chef Round E says, Rhonda E, chef Rhonda E says, Question, when you coach, do you advise women to take time to get to know themselves? Yes, one of the books I recommend, every one of my private coaching clients to read is the book, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I highly recommend reading this book to start connected to your spiritual self, to your higher self, to your divine self and to your intuition. This book is a great way to start tapping into your intuition. Now, before reading this book, you may wanna do a heavy deep dive into healing your childhood wounds and traumas, your childhood wounds and traumas by doing the Hoffman process, by doing the Hoffman process. I can tell you, this changed my life. And after going through the actual, by the way, if you go to the Hoffman process, they have it in Northern California and I believe they have it on the East Coast. That's actually all over the world. It teaches you how to heal your childhood wounds and traumas that cause negative patterns and limiting beliefs in your life. So when you've done this in conjunction with this, oh my God, you are 90% of the way to attracting a great guy in your life. Yes, I do recommend doing work ahead of time. And it's part of my coaching practice as well. It's a great question, Chef Rhonda. All right, Julie writes, sending you hugs at this difficult time. Thank you so much, Julie. I was seeing a guy for about seven weeks. I thought he was different, making a lot of effort and a week after we slept together, he dumped me. Yeah, I've done that. I've been that guy. I'm gonna be, and I'll tell you why that happens. After my divorce, I was a train wreck. My life was in chaos. I had lost my quarter million dollar a year job. I was doing drugs and alcohol to get through the day. And online dating was one of my drugs of choice. I share this with you not because I'm proud of the experience, but it prepared me for where I'm at today. We have to hit rock bottom, oftentimes, to rise above. Now with that said, I said online dating was one of my drugs of choice. I was desperate for connection. I was desperate for physical intimacy, but I was incapable of going beyond that. I'm gonna repeat that. I was desperate for connection, desperate for physical intimacy, but I was basically, I could not go any past that. What happens is after the, so ladies, I know many of you have bought into this many hunters and many chivalrous and they want to claim you and they love the pursuit and they love the chase and you should just let a man chase you. Yeah. What are we chasing, folks? What are we chasing? Are we chasing? I wanna be in a relationship. I wanna be in a relationship. Is that what we're chasing? Uh-uh. What are we chasing? We're hunting sex. We are biologically driven to hunt for sex. We want to have sex. And by the way, since bordellos and prostitution houses don't exist anymore, online dating took its place. Let me repeat that. Online dating took its place. Quite frankly now with the swipe, within three dates the average guy can get laid. This is why I highly say, ladies say men are the gas, women are the breaks. And when we satisfy that, so here's what happens. Let me just expand upon this for a second more, Julie. Chemistry is chemicals being released in our brain. You know, dopamine, testosterone, oxytocin, serotonin, all these chemicals. And when we physically mate with a person, we experience the rush of chemicals. And as soon as the chemicals dissipate, the minute we ejaculate, all of those chemicals that we, those field goat chemicals are gone. And what happens with a lot of men, and this happened to me a number of times after my divorce, I had sex with a woman and all of a sudden I didn't understand, why don't I like her anymore? I mean, I'm serious. I'm like, I don't know if I like this person anymore. I was so gung ho to get laid, but the minute I had sex, I didn't like her anymore. And this happened repeatedly. And I was like, I didn't understand why this happened until I studied biology and the fact that chemistry is simply chemicals being released in our body when we feel good. And when we quench that initial, if we're not actually bonded to another human being, we're not bonded to them. And by the way, men don't bond through sex. Men bond through experiences with a woman. Let me repeat that. We bond through social activities, hobbies and mutual interests. That's how we bond. We don't bond through sex. Sex is a feel good, but the minute we have sex, we're not bonded with them. So if you haven't developed the deep roots of trust ahead of time and you have sex in seven weeks is a fair amount of time to get to the first level of relationship. It takes about a hundred hours of face-to-face time doing social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, maybe even traveling together to build that first layer of bond. If in those seven weeks, you saw each other only a few times, it may not be that you didn't bond with him. And because of that, the minute the sex happened, he quenched his thirst. And by the way, all of this is on a subconscious level. Men are not aware of this. I wasn't aware of this when this was happening to me. I wasn't aware of this when this happened to me. When I studied it, I realized it. So now, listen, I go on dates, I have lots of women who will have sex with me. I mean, not that I'm a rock star by any stretch of the means, but my YouTube channel has really elevated me and I would have a lot of women who would want to have sex with me. I can't go there. I mean, the old Jonathan could have gone there a decade ago. I can't go there now because I need to have a heart on to go with my heart on. Let me repeat that. I need a heart on to go with the heart on. And that means I want to take time to build something with somebody. And I'm intentional about it. And the last thing I want to do is leave after having sex the first time. I have though, even as in this my awakened self, this has happened once or twice, not too unrecently because the pandemic fucked us up too, but that's a whole another conversation as well. But that's most likely the reason why it happens is that you guys haven't built, you didn't build the roots of trust. And once the chemicals was released in his body, he didn't feel anything for you. And when people don't feel anything, they run away the other direction. And I'm sorry that happened. And I'd like to give you a big, gigantic Jonathan bear hug. Thank you so much. Okay. Shelly writes, can you explain? By the way, $5 super chat. Thank you so much, Shelly. Shelly says, please explain being addicted to the dating sites, especially if you don't go out on dates with them. Okay, so I was addicted in the early stages of my divorce. Okay, you may, okay. We all know the movie Jerry Maguire. You complete me, okay? When we feel a hole inside of ourselves, we will go outside to fill that hole. That's known as co-dependency, co-dependency. Here's a great book to read co-dependency no more. And when we're in a co-dependent state, dating sites are a great way to fill the hole. Dating apps are a great way to fill the hole when we connect with other human beings. And it can be very addictive. In fact, this whole swipe dating in the last half decade has absolutely changed human behavior to become very co-dependent to constant, constant, constant touching. I don't mean physical touching, I mean virtual touching. So this is why so many people are addicted because they're not meeting people in real life. If you're not meeting people in real life, the online version of the dating sites become the replacement and can become an addiction. And I sadly experienced that. So I hope that answers your question. Thank you so much for the super sticker. I really appreciate that. All right, let's see what else we have here. Oh, Wegen! Question, anyways, you suggest us to identify when the moment we unconsciously forget to keep loving ourselves. Co-dependent behavior starts to creep in. Look, it's self-awareness. By the way, great question, Wegen. Self-awareness requires, it's a daily practice. It's a daily practice, it's a daily practice. When I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, it's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work that I recommend on a daily basis. At least 15 minutes a day, if not 30 minutes a day of maybe meditating, maybe reading books like a great book to read is Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. She is one of the, she began speaking on A Course in Miracles. That's another book. Here, everybody, hold on one second, okay? Hold on one second. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. Oh, not coming as in C-U-M, C-O-M-I-N-G. Okay, I haven't talked about this, but I've done The Course in Miracles. By the way, it's, to me, this isn't religious. This is just kind of from a spiritual perspective and a way to live one's life. Look at how thick that is. This has 365 lessons within it every day to examine one's ego, to shift to the, the miracle is a shift in perspective or a shift to love. I'm gonna repeat that. The miracle is simply a shift in perspective, a shift to love by using forgiveness, exercises and the recognition of how our ego causes us. Our ego is our impetuous little child. Our ego is our impetuous little child. And recognizing when the ego is running your life versus your heart-centered space of running your life. And sadly, men and women alike. And I'm gonna tell you, women are equally of guilty of this as men. They operate from an egoic place and not a heart-centered place. And sadly, a lot of women think they're coming from a heart-centered place when it's actually very much an egoic place. I highly, look it, I highly recommend, I did three years study this book every single day for three years in a study group and it changed my life. And I'll be candid with you. I started this, I started reading the book with a group about three months before Connor passed away. And one of the chapters we had been working or one of the lessons we'd been working on happened to be around death prior to his passing. It's one of the reasons why I recognize that at least in my world is that we are a spirit and this is our body and our spirit is gonna experience multiple lifetime experiences in different bodies. And so I know Connor is off doing his next best and greatest hits somewhere else. He's getting started on that. And that's what helps give me peace, especially at this really shitty time that I'm going through. So, Regent, thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. Please hit that like button. Okay, Gulash, I can't even pronounce it, New York says. Question, I'm an ENFP, he's an INTJ. Can I understand he likes me and he's not bread crumbing me? How can I understand he likes me and he's not bread crumbing me? First off, folks, I'm not into the ENG, IP, all that stuff that, I'm not into that. Cause let me just tell you something. I don't think we can condense our personalities into these personality types. I think human beings are fucking ridiculously complicated. I think we are trainwrecks, okay? That's how I think about personality, okay? I do recommend though, reading the five love languages, the five love languages to understand your partner's love language. I invite you to read the book attached, a book attached to learn someone's love attachment style. And I highly recommend reading the book, getting the love you want, getting the love you want. These are great books. Rather focus on that along with eight dates by understanding the mechanics to a healthy, rapid relationship than the whole NFPG, IPT, whatever personality types. That's just my opinion. So how do you avoid bread crumbing? You choose a partner who seriously wants to be in a relationship. Ladies, you start with your standards. What are you looking for a relationship? Those who know me know my story. I'm looking for a relationship that very early on, we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, being partners in our life, teamwork both in our personal and our professional life, including intimacy with just both physical and physical intimacy as well as emotional intimacy leading to living together or being in partnership. That's my standard. I tell everybody, date one, that's my standard. If someone's not, can't fit into that standard, I ask them very, very directly. And I've got a lot of women who cannot meet that standard, then we don't date. Start with your standard because most guys who can't meet your standard, they're gonna go bye-bye. Now they're gonna try to get laid so they might tell you everything you wanna hear, but let me tell you something. If you really tapped into your intuition like this book teaches you, you'll know the guys who are serious versus the guys who have bread crumb. You become highly attuned to your self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-reliance, your sovereignty. You'll become a magnetic attractor for better quality men and you'll be able to recognize the guys who are not ready to go the distance. Can I get an amen? Thank you, New York. All right, I'm about 30 minutes behind questions, so please forgive me. Question, what can I do to move on from an ex of six years? He's already got a new woman and I've been single for a year and a half now. We broke up in 2019. So, you know, I'm a big, so first is recognizing why you're still attached to that person. Again, I highly recommend reading the book attached. When you love attach, when you understand attachment style, you'll recognize that you're not actually still in love with them, you're just attached to him. In fact, they say it takes about women two years to release the oxytocin bond and the love attachment bond that women have with men. This is a very, so this first, it starts off by choosing better men, but ultimately, ladies, I'm gonna tell you something. Self-discipline is quite lacking in human being these days. So, what I would do myself is I would do a deep dive into loving myself. I would read all of these books. I would start going to workshops. I would start going to personal development trainings. You can do them online to focus on yourself. Remember to have that mirror. Focus on self, focus on self, focus on self, focus on self, focus on self, focus on self. You might have to say that a thousand times or write an affirmation for oneself. To shift out of this narrative of giving your power away to a man, that's a perfect example of giving one's power away. Look it, I'm not to suggest that it doesn't hurt when a relationship ends. I get that, it does hurt. But it usually, a relationship ends mostly because you've chosen the wrong person or you're not loving and or you're not loving on yourself and that's why you're lamenting over somebody who's already moved on. It takes self-discipline. I'm sorry to say, it's as simple as that. But Jonathan, it's not that simple, I get it. But start doing the work and you'll start feeling better, I promise you. All right, Anna writes, question. Why do men come on strong in the beginning? How do you navigate this if you like them? Why do they do it? I've said this a thousand times in my videos. I'm gonna say it again. We are driven biologically to have sex with you. That is why we come on strong because these days we don't have to marry you to get laid. So it starts by asking better questions to by performing an emotional aptitude test, by learning true compatibility. Ladies, most of you are dating with your head in the clouds. You're in the fantasy realm of relationships and not in the reality realm of relationships. Start reading all of these books to prepare you to be in a healthy, happy relationship. By the way, there's a link below to Jonathan recommends books. There's a link below to scheduling a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. I mean, I am constantly producing content after content, after content. What's the main focus of my content? Doing personal development work, that's the main focus. If you haven't read the book, The Four Agreements, you've gotta read this to start becoming an adult in relationship and then follow it up with my favorite book. One of my top favorites is The Buddha Dated. If The Buddha dated. Listen, I showed this narrative the other day. I'm gonna do it again. Bear with me one second, everybody. Okay, here is a picture of an iceberg, okay? Iceberg, okay? Now above the water, it says attraction. And below the water, it says compatibility, okay? Now the top of the iceberg is chemistry. It's the first thing you see when you see an iceberg is chemistry. Most people are hyper focused on chemistry and they believe that if chemistry is there, the relationship will succeed. What they're not recognizing is what's below the water is shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. This is why the Titanic crashed, okay? Because it was focused on chemistry and didn't pay attention to shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. And if you need help with that schedule of discovery call with me, because ladies, so many of you are dating in the fantasy realm. You are such fantasy mongers. The movie, The Notebook and Serendipity and Pride and Prejudice, Darcy. He's emotionally unavailable, but Kira Knightley will just magically shift her because magic fairy dust shifts emotionally unavailable men. Is such a fucking crock of shit. Read these books. Listen folks, for literally $200, you can purchase all the books I recommend for $200. And if you invest one year, one year of your life healing from the inside out, you will become a magnetic attractor for absolute wonderment in your life. I say this folks on the eve of the anniversary of my son passing away. Self love is the antidote to inner suffering. Self love is the antidote to inner suffering. It's a vaccination to emotional chaos. Sadly, most human beings are suffering from, I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. Sadly, I share this on the eve of his passing is because it took him leaving for me to do this deeper dive into what it means to love on oneself. And I encourage everybody to do the inner work, to shift the narrative, to stop giving your power away to men. Whether you find a relationship, listen, Esther Perrell who wrote the book, mating in captivity, definitely get this book, mating in captivity. She said, the quality of our life is based on the quality of our relationships. And I'm here to say the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you're ever gonna have in your life. This is why when the flight attendant says, in the case of cabin pressure change, when the oxygen mass drops, put it on yourself first. Ladies, you constantly are giving it to the guy hoping that he'll breathe life into you. No, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first to breathe life into yourself. Can you please start doing this for me? Please, please, please, please, please. Thank you so much. All right. Zim says, I just broke, question. I just broke up for three months. Everyone I know started to hate me. This lady doesn't seek forgiveness in me. How can I ever go back to a normal life? I've been depressed ever since, Esther. Well, that's sad to hear, Zim. How can I ever go back to a normal life? Folks, here, let me go back to my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? Okay? One of my chapters, if I can find it. One of the chapters is don't love others at the expense of self. Make friends with the voices in your head. Understand and accept other people's experiences. Others don't need to suffer for you to feel good. Listen, Zim, read my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? One of the things human beings do is judgment and go back and back. I wanna go back to this book, The Four Agreements. One of, okay, The Four Agreements. Here, I wanna read this to you. Hold on a second. Agreement number one, be impeccable with your word. Agreement number two, don't take anything personally. Agreement number three, don't make assumptions. And number four, always do your best. But don't take anything personally. People may project their bullshit onto you. That's them. In fact, one of the chapters in my, I forgot the chapter I wanted to share with you, but chapter five in my book, here, hold on. Read that, everybody. Don't let anyone fuck with your chi. This was actually based on Connor. Connor, right there, there's a picture of him. He had this beautiful ability to not let other people's opinion of him affect how he felt about himself. He was the impetus for me writing that chapter. Don't let anyone fuck with your chi, Zim. I know that's easier said than done, but it starts doing a deeper dive into oneself. You know what I'm doing tomorrow, folks? Tomorrow on the anniversary of Connor's passing, I'm doing a psilocybin journey. I'm gonna repeat that. I'm doing a psilocybin journey. To let you know what that is, hold on a second, just to give you an example of what that is. I'm trying to find a, anyways, psilocybin is mushrooms. And it's a great awakening to go into a deeper realm of consciousness. And I'm doing this to connect with my son at a deeper level, to connect with my spiritual self. I'm telling you, I have used cannabis. I've used psilocybin as ways to get into my heart-centered space. Now, I'm not advocating this. I'm just sharing with you my own experiences. You do whatever you want in your life. But I can tell you, it has expanded my consciousness in ways you can't even imagine. Now, at first I did a lot of work ahead of time to prepare for this. But if you have an opportunity, I recommend doing some journeys, spiritual journeys, to connect with your heart-centered space within yourself because who gives a fuck what other people think of you? What matters most is what you think of you. This is why I even shared that I did this because I don't care what you think of me. I care most about how I feel about myself. That's what matters most. And that's my invitation for you, Zim. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm giving you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. Oh, gosh. All right. Aubrey just wrote, you have a beautiful soul and you're 100% right. Reading the untethered soul and the four agreements were the beginning of my self-love and healing journey. Thank you for being brave and sharing your truth. Aubrey, big hugs and thank you so much, folks. Do you just read what she just said? This is a perfect example. A perfect example. She's doing the work. And I invite you all to do the work. Look at kitty cat says, Zim, get Jonathan's self-love book. Yes, thank you. I agree. Not selfishly. I only make a couple bucks per book. I do it because I want to change your life. I want to shift the narrative most of you have adopted. Okay. Bridge writes, question. When I walk past couples, why is it that the men always smile at me and what makes a woman sexy? First off, I highly doubt every happy couple, every man who's in a happy relationship is smiling at you. I recognize that you see this from time to time. And by the way, I've been in relationship with women and when I've seen a beautiful woman, my ex-girlfriend and I would point out, she would point out a beautiful man to me and I would point out a beautiful woman to her. We can appreciate beauty. This is one of the reasons why art and photography and music is something we crave because we can appreciate beauty both in human beings and in other things in life. Now, why is it happening? Most likely these are sleaze bags that are doing it. But who cares? Who cares? But how to be sexy? Folks, sexy starts from within. You know what? I want you, there's a picture of my mom that she was in her 20s right there. My mom, by the time I was born, she was five foot five and weighed 300 pounds. And I will tell you, she would walk into the room with such confidence that she was the most beautiful person in the room. She had inner confidence. She had inner resilience, inner strength, self love that even though she was 300 pounds, she walked in with that attitude. She really did. She really walked in because she, despite what caused her to put on weight and she had 10 miscarriages over a period of 15 years, she had some issues. But you know what? She never stopped loving on herself. Doesn't matter what you look like. Sexy, the most sexiest thing in life is confidence. It's not the outer beauty, it's the inner beauty that matters most. I'm not, look it, I'm a guy with a big nose. I've got a little bit of a gut of a little weight. But you know what? I'm grateful that I have inner confidence because I don't necessarily consider myself overly handsome. But I do have confidence in with myself that I can be a good partner in relationship. That's something I'm very confident within myself. I can be a good partner in relationship. And I step into the dating realm with that confidence because quite frankly, I look at my face and I'm not that attracted to it. But I walk inside with inner confidence and that's my invitation for all of you as well. Thank you for writing. I appreciate that, Bridge. All right. Kirsten says it's crazy that we've been putting ourselves last for so long. Crazy, crazy. By the way, have you ever seen the crazy hot matrix? This is women who all put themselves ahead of men. But I will tell you the vast majority of women put themselves behind men. Listen, entitled women might temporarily get the guy, but let me tell you something, it's temporary. What matters most is that inner confidence, that self-worth, self-reliance, self-love is what radiates and is sexy to men and women alike. All right. Leah says, Jonathan, thank you for saying the same thing over and over and walking the talk. Thank you so much. I do my best. Listen, I fail miserably, folks. I can fail miserably. I've went through hell to get to where I'm at today. In fact, oftentimes it takes going through the desert of the dark soul to get to where we at. Alan, was it, oh shoot, Joseph Campbell talked about the hero's journey. By the way, everybody, write this down. Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. We all go through a hero's journey in life and we're gonna have highs and lows in life. It's the lows that strengthen us and prepare us for the highs, but we have to be able to adapt and appreciate the lows to be able to rise above it. And that's my invitation. That's what self-discipline is all about. And I invite everybody to be more disciplined in their lives. Can you do that for me, please? Can I get an amen, please? Thank you so much, Lee. Okay, look at everybody is saying, Zim, listen. Oh, Suzanne says, Zim says, is probably depressed and needs professional help. Yes, I agree. If you're in a state of depression, I highly recommend seeking a counselor, seeking professional help. I'm a big proponent of therapy. I'm a big proponent of semonic therapy. I'm a big proponent of the Hoffman process, doing the work because if you don't do the work and seeking professional help, people that actually know how to handle, not handle, to address depression, I highly recommend that. So thank you, Suzanne for bringing that up. I totally agree. Rosie writes, question. Hmm, let me read this again. Question, what's the difference between him being uninterested and having a fear of intimacy and having a fear of love which causes him to go hot and cold? What's the difference? There really is no difference. Fear of intimacy, oftentimes is a result of people who don't do introspective work and don't understand the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship and they haven't experienced expressing themselves. Again, I repeated myself but expressing themselves in their life. Folks, men can chase sex all day long but it takes somebody to go deeper beyond that and it requires an emotionally mature person to be able to go into deeper intimacy. It requires emotional maturity and sadly, the vast majority of human beings have done little or no personal development, self-help and spiritual work to shore up their emotional maturity. This is why I highly recommend learning my technique and my private coaching, link below to schedule a discovery call, how to do an emotional aptitude test on a guy by learning what's most important in relationship and then asking better questions before the penis ever goes inside the vagina. Learn this stuff and you will start to have better experiences. Please learn what I'm teaching. You read the books I'm recommending. You don't have to sign up to some $20,000 coaching program with someone. You can learn 90% of what you need in these books and then you work with someone like me to rough around, to teach you the edges, so to speak. That's my invitation for you. Thank you for your question, Rosie, I appreciate it. All right, Maria says, question. How do you know everything you know about relationships? Relationship classes, only read books, do you have a relationship degree? So Maria, you're asking me a personal question. Thank you so much. So let me tell you how my journey started. After turning 40 and going through a divorce back in 2005, I found myself on the dating sites. I was addicted to online dating. I was actually addicted to talking to women. I was talking to dozens and dozens of women at the same time. I used to have open chat boxes on Yahoo! Personals. I had six going at a time. I'm talking to all these women. I wasn't even dating women. I was just talking, talking, talking. And what happened was at first, women, I wasn't even dating, but women would ask for my advice, helping them to improve their online dating profiles. So how I got started in this business was first, helping women improve their online dating profiles. Then women would reach out to me and ask me for advice about men. So then I started to give advice about men. That's when understand men now was born. But here's the thing. After over a hundred internet dates in one year, I'd meet a great woman, we'd have a great date, something wasn't right. I'd meet another woman, we'd have a great date, we'd have something happen, but it wasn't right. Hundred of these. I realized that the wasn't right was me. And at that time, the movie, The Secret, came out. And the minute the movie, The Secret came out, I was hooked. I think I'd had a propensity for personal development prior, but I abandoned it before I got married. So what happened was the movie, The Secret, opened me up to Abraham Hicks. Abraham Hicks is the law of attraction. That's one of the first books I read was asking it as given. And then I started to read Wayne Dyer books and I started to study relationships. I became fascinated with human behavior and relationships. At the same time, I was beginning my dating coaching practice. Then I started to do workshops, personal development workshops. I did the Hoffman process. I did insight one, two, and three. I did so many personal development workshops. And then I started to do trainings online and I started to watch videos online and reading these books. And then I got my NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming Certificate. And then I started, I'm in the process of getting my Cognitive Behavioral Therapist Certificate. And I also dated a therapist and boy, I got six years of therapy with her helping heal my shit. I also did therapy. So I've amassed over 20,000 hours of coaching. I've amassed over 3,000 hours of personal development workshops, training, seminars, books, videos, therapy. So I don't say this to impress you. I'm just impressing upon you the work that I've done to get to the place I'm at. This has been my hero's journey to get to where I'm at. Not everybody needs to do 3,000 hours of personal development, but I do recommend 15 to 30 minutes every day on doing something to nurture your soul, your spirit, your inner guide. Because when you do that, you become emotionally mature to be able to navigate all the things I'm expressing with you today. And thank you for asking me that question. I really appreciate it. I hope it gives you some insight to who I am as a person. So thank you so much, Maria. All right, you know what folks, I think this might be a good place to wrap up today. Oh, well, I'm, Weijin wrote a question, I'm gonna answer that. Just out of curiosity, do you coach your son to be a high quality man like you coach us? If so, he's very lucky. So folks, that's my other son, Colin. He's just turned 25. You know what? Colin at age 14, I remember we went to the gym together and I was talking to him about past lives. And he said to me, I think I'm on my past life. And I go, my last life. And quite frankly, Colin is an old soul. He came out of that way from the birth. I give a tremendous amount of credit to his mother for doing a great job raising him on the outside world. And when he was 14, I started to do a deep, he had to listen to Tony Robbins CDs with me in the car and he's listened to me talk for the last decade on personal development. Thankfully, I've created a relationship with my son where we actually speak to each other on a regular basis from an interpersonal level. So I'm gonna say he was born this way, but I did nudge him along his way and I give a ton of credit to his beautiful mother. We may not be married together, but she is a beautiful human being who did a great job raising, I'm shaking right now, a great job raising him. Wow, I am totally shaking. Thank you so much for that question. And I'm gonna take the last question of the night because it's a super sticker. Robin says, thank you so much for that. I have had no experience. I had only one boyfriend who became my husband only 10 months after our first date. I can't do that again. I need to establish what I want out of life and I don't take anything else. Robin, you've been on before, we love you and we want to encourage you to love on yourself. I can tell you that this will be a great way to start on loving on yourself because ladies, it's not about having a man in your life. It's about having a beautiful relationship within yourself and that's my invitation for everybody to have a beautiful invitation within your relationship within yourself so you don't give your power away to a man. Ladies, this is your wake up call. Get busy living or get busy dying. By the way, what movie line is that from? Get busy living or get busy dying? Post it in the comments below. You have a choice. You can love on yourself or you can believe having a relationship is the panacea of life. And I'm gonna tell you something. Being in a relationship is not a panacea. It's certainly great to be in a relationship but it is not going to bring you happiness if the happiness doesn't reside within yourself. So my invitation for every one of you is to love on yourself as much as you can. Robin, I'm giving you a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. I know you've only had one relationship in your life and you don't wanna go through that again. So build that relationship with yourself and you might just be surprised that a great guy might enter into your life and give you a big gigantic hug like I give everybody hugs here. All right, folks, I'm gonna repeat those seven things that ways women give away their power. Number one, the relationship is on his terms. Number two, you're afraid to speak your truth. Number three, when the relationship ends, the focus is on him. Number four, waiting for him to initiate contact. Number five, you stop doing your pre-relationship life before meeting him or after meeting the man. Number six, the dangerous thing of all, feeling like you cannot survive without him. And number seven, think that that's the only person you'll ever have chemistry within your life. Again, these are the seven things you gotta stop doing. I hope you found value in this live stream today and if you're listening to the recording, thank you so much. Again, I wanna thank you all for the beautiful love you all give me. You cannot know how much I appreciate all the love and support while I'm going through this tough time. Thank you so much, everybody. And I'm gonna wrap up by posting a couple more comments here. Melissa says, thank you, Jonathan. That was awesome. Joy got it correct. It's the movie Shawshank Redemption, correct. Jill says, thank you, Jonathan. Candy says, thank you. Suzanne says, great chat. Oops, where'd that go? Aubrey says, so much value. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you have an amazing experience. Thank you so much, Aubrey. I appreciate that. All right, everybody. This is a great place to wrap up today. Oh, I'll just say a few more. Kitty Cat says, hugs, Jonathan. Robin says, we love you, Jonathan, thank you. Joy says, relationships are not the end all, correct. Rhonda says, thank you, Jonathan. Have a great evening. Michael says, big flexing. Have a great night stage, Jonathan. Cheers and have a great weekend from bridge. All right, folks. I'm gonna wrap up today as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear or pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye. Bye. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.