 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the five steps to stay high value when he doesn't call or text. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, the content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I could be seen in the YouTube algorithms. Really quickly my coaching is what I call heart centered radical honesty. It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance the sentence. So if an F bomb or two isn't your cup of tea, I suggest logging off right now. Lastly, these are my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions. By no means do I suggest this is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. I'm a bit of a contrarian, so my advice goes contrary to public opinion and tradition. So then again, I invite you to explore my content to see if it resonates with you or not. All right, let's jump into those five steps to stay high value when he doesn't call or text. So whether it's a man or woman, when someone begins to communicate less with us, especially if we've invested time into getting to know someone, that can feel very frustrating. That can be very, what's the word? Not demoralizing, what's the word I'm thinking of? I mean, certainly frustrating, but it can certainly wear on us emotionally when we think we're getting to know someone and then all of a sudden they start to pull away, they start to communicate less, you start to feel something different. And this is certainly very natural to feel frustration, maybe a little bit of anger, maybe a little upset. It's natural to feel that way when you think you're building something with somebody and then it's not happening. So I just want you to understand that this is very normal and we are in such unique times then when we were back in the cave man days where the only people you made it with were in your tribe, if you will. And then as we grew into larger villages, most everybody knew everyone. And then when we started to live in towns, there was a sense of community around us. And when we did connect with people, most of the time these things lasted for a lifetime. And certainly this was true for the most part up until probably about a hundred years ago. And then certainly with the invention of divorce and I say the invention of divorce, certainly the proliferation of divorce starting around the 60s and 70s, at least a much greater percentage of divorce, we see a whole different shift in mating practices and the mating ritual. And quite frankly, dating is a relatively new phenomena. Let me repeat that dating is a relatively new phenomenon. Dating didn't exist back in the cave man days or even thousand years ago or 500 years ago. You pretty much, up until about a hundred years ago, if you wanted to get laid, you had to get married for the most part. And quite frankly, when the term courtship was invented, if you will, courtships only lasted a few weeks because people wanted to get laid and they got married. Nowadays, people, that's why dating, you know, a lot of people fantasize about the idea of courtship, especially from a romantic sense, because it feels so good to be romanced into a relationship, romance to falling in love with somebody. It feels so good and chemistry feels so good. And yet there's a deception to chemistry of two people don't share the same values, their lifestyles aren't wonderful, and they lack a level of emotional maturity. So I'm here to encourage a different way of viewing the process, not from the fantasy way. And what I mean by fantasy, many of you are suckling on the nipple of romance as the indicator of relationship success. In fact, many of you are so desiring of romance to feel good about the process instead of actually vetting someone to determine if they're a really good partner to be in your life, to think about compatibility outside of chemistry. And if you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg chart, I'm gonna put it up for everyone to see. And you can see above the waterline, you can see the word attraction and there's the word chemistry. But below the waterline, in other words, the meat of this iceberg, if you will, is compatibility that shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. That's the more important piece. So this whole fantasy around romance and being romanced so you can feel good about someone is just the surface level if you're not digging underneath. So then what, then you're thinking, okay, Jonathan, I'm gonna start digging underneath. I'm gonna think about compatibility in a more conscious way, which is great. I'm here to encourage that. So why does someone start to communicate less? And I wanna spend a moment leaning into that because oftentimes that person's life is going through some level of chaos. Maybe they're going through a contentious divorce with an ex. Maybe they have a contentious relationship with their ex. Maybe they're going through some professional chaos in their life that's consuming them, especially for men, because men identify with their professional life as to who they are as a person. So if someone's going through professional chaos, the ground underneath them is in solid to actually form a fully committed relationship with someone. Maybe they have some issues going on with their children if they are divorced and have children. Maybe that's part of the process. Maybe they have some health issues. Or worse, maybe they're not consciously thinking about commitment because most human beings, especially after going through divorce, are thirsty for connection, companionship and sex, but not necessarily cognitive of the whole understanding of the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. This is why ladies, I repeat this over and over and over again. Before the penis ever goes inside the vagina, you should purchase two copies of the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. And the reason why you purchase two copies is if you're gonna begin a relationship with someone, then start asking the better questions to understand the mechanics. This teaches you the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. And it helps build intimacy in the process. And intimacy means into me you see. Instead of focusing on romance, I know so many of you are suckling on that nipple of desiring romance instead of actually genuinely getting to know someone to determine if they're right for you. And think back thousands of years ago, it was a lot easier to determine someone was right for you because when you grew up in a small tribe, everybody knew each other, they felt safe with one another. They felt safe with one another. Now for the most part, we're meeting total strangers in the dating process, primarily through these little devices. And we know so little about them to feel safe in our heart. And this is true for men and women. This is true more so for women, it's important, but for men as well. But since men are typically driven by their penis, we'll be gung ho to get laid. That's why you guys all hear about men love the hunt. They love the chase and let them hunt and chase you because if they capture you, they claimed you. And all you have to do is sit back in your feminine energy. Well, how the fuck is that going to work in the long run if you don't share the same values if your lifestyles aren't blendable? And more importantly, is this person emotionally mature enough to be in relationship? Now I'm not here to say that everybody is fucked up, it's just most people are. This is why if you're not familiar with my emotional maturity relationship skills chart, I want you to take a look at this. By the way, at the bottom, it says this isn't a fact that's an opinion, but I say roughly 20% of the population has clinical issues, borderline personality, bipolar personality, narcissists, sociopath. And while some people can use medication to work on this and people that actually have addressed their issues like borderline or bipolar disorder, they have a chance for a healthy relationship. If they're not addressing their issues, it makes it very difficult to be in relationship with them. And then I say over here, roughly about 20% of the population is emotionally healthy and have good relationship skills. And I'm being ridiculously generous when I say 20%, it's probably closer to three to 5%. And this is you ladies as well. You all think you're good at this shit, but you're not. And I want you to stay for about 20 minutes because I'm gonna share why. Bear with me about 15 or 20 minutes. I'll share why most of you are not. And then most everybody else is in the dysfunctional realm. This is why it's important to understand this instead of listening to the bullshit dating advice you hear over and over again. Like I say, and I joke, you guys know, if you follow me, you know, I love to joke about the feminine energy coaching. And while I am all for personal empowerment and being in your power and loving on yourself, in fact, I wrote a book about it called What the Heck Is Self-Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Health and Spiritual Work so you can feel good about yourself. And by the way, there's a link below to check out all my recommended books because the number one emotional health issue for people is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. And nothing triggers this like dating and relationships. This is why I'm such a big proponent of people doing the inner work, doing the work so you can actually lean into a healthy happy relationship. And whether or not someone does pull away and stops texting or they stop communicating, you still feel so good about yourself. So we're gonna lean into those five steps for that high value person. So when someone does pull away, you don't have to freak out when it happens. So I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses. We're gonna pull out our notes right here, bum, bum, bum. All right, number one. First thing to do is don't overanalyze what's happening. Don't overanalyze what's happening and worse, don't make it about you. Don't make it about you being wrong or something bad about you. One of the fundamental principles to understand in relationship is, look at chapter one in my book says, speak your truth, do it with kindness. And later on in the book chapter nine, it says, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So when you're with the right person, they're most likely not going to pull away, maybe temporarily for a minute if someone is stressed out, garden variety stress, they might temporarily pull away for 24, 36 hours. But if you're seeing 48, 72 hours, a week not leading in. They're a week or so not leaning into the conversation. Don't make it about something being wrong about you and don't overanalyze it. We'll talk about that in a few minutes as well. Number two is remember, you are good enough. You are lovable, you are likable. In fact, I want you to look at my bracelet here, what it says. I don't know if you can see that. It says, I'm enough, I'm enough. Can you see, or let me put the I'm enough. I wear this as a reminder that no matter what happens in my life, if someone judges me, if someone ghosts me, if someone rejects me, it's okay because I am enough and I invite you all to lean into that. This is why I say personal development, self-health and spiritual work is like a vaccination to emotional chaos. It's like shoring up your heart so that no matter what the guy does, you're in such a good place that it doesn't matter what he does. What matters most is how you feel about yourself. And I'm here to remind you, you are good enough. You are lovable, you're not likable. And again, I want you to wait till shortly after this because I'm gonna lean into this in a lot more detail. Number three, whenever you're feeling anxiety or fear, whenever you're feeling anxiety or fear, I want you to recite the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer, the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. It's also known as the hapono, ponopono, ponopono. And that what the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer is, I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, thank you. Like giving yourself a shot of B12, you're giving yourself a shot of love. Forgiveness stands for forgiving love. And I invite you to recite the prayer on a regular basis whenever you're feeling abandoned, you're feeling frustrated, you're feeling anger. Maybe you're feeling a bit of judgment for someone else because they shifted their energy towards you. I want you to remember that you are good enough and you are lovable. And if you need that little help, recite the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer because that's what love would do and that's how love would respond. That's what love would do and that's what love would respond, how love would respond. And number four, I want you to understand that humans are an emotional wreck with weak emotional skills coming back to what I shared here. Most humans are dysfunctional, yourself included. And I'm only yelling because I'm passionate about this and I'm like trying to make sure that the child doesn't touch fire and just remind you that you are good enough and you are lovable and you are likable. And when we understand that most, here's the thing, most men are actually good people. Most women are good people. They're just bad at this process. And most people don't genuinely try to hurt another, hurt another. Most people just don't feel safe. So when a guy is pulling away, when he stops communicating as as much is something's going on in his life where he doesn't feel safe to lean into the relationship. And that's okay too. That's okay too, if that happens for him. He's on his journey, you're on your journey. And I want to remind you again and recite that don't overanalyze, remember you are enough, recite the Hawaiian forgiveness for understand humans. And then lastly recognize, recognize misalignment and a lack of resonance. A misalignment lack of resonance. And what I mean is when you're misaligned with ladies, so many of you are so hyper focused on the chemistry piece and not focused on compatibility that you don't recognize how misaligned you are with another one. But Jonathan, chemistry is the indicator of relationship success. No, that's called fantasy. That's called magic fairy dust. And so many of you are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. Men and women alike. And it starts by doing the work within oneself. If you're not familiar with the work of Mary Ann Williamson, I highly recommend checking out the book, Return to Love by Mary Ann Williamson. This is the CD version. Highly recommend checking out this book. So you return to your own love first and then you'll recognize that it doesn't matter if he pulls away, if he doesn't call, he doesn't text because you are in your sovereignty. You are in your empowerment. And this isn't about leaning back and giving a guy space. This is about leaning into yourself. And guess what? Get on the fucking phone with the guy and saying, what the fuck is up? And I say that a little tongue in cheek. You can do it in a much kinder way. Okay, remember my book, Speak Your Truth To Over Kindness. But get on the horn with him and ask him what's going on. But Jonathan, all the other dating coaches tell me not to do that. If every other dating coach was so right, then why are people miserably single? This is why I said I'm a contrarian. Try something different. Lean in instead of leaning back. And most importantly, lean into your sovereignty, lean into your self-loves, lean into your self-worth because ultimately that's how you're gonna stay high value when someone doesn't call or text. So I just wanna remind you again, don't overanalyze. Remember, you are enough, you are likable, you are lovable. Recite the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. Understand humans are emotional wreck and ridiculously flawed and lastly recognize misalignment and a lack of resonance. And by the way, my whole coaching program, my private coaching helps to fine tune your intuition, particularly in the area of alignment and resonance and compatibility. So check out the link below to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, I think we covered the five steps to staying high value when he doesn't call or text. I hope you found value in this. Please post a comment below. If you have something to share, please add that. Since this is my live stream, we're gonna do Q and A portion for a few minutes and those listening to the live stream right now on YouTube, you can post a question by writing the word question and posting your question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat. All the funds from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor as like who passed away a few years ago. That's a picture of him there, isn't he cute? And that's a picture of him there. One of my favorite is my son Colin there. The monies in the scholarship fund go to defray the cost of personal development for those who are seeking personal development work and also donating to the charities that I most believe provide value which includes the Hoffman process and insight. So there's a little dollar sign in the chat box to purchase a super sticker super chat. And by the way, if you're listening to the audio recording you can certainly donate to me via PayPal as well. All right, before I take questions I do have something I wanna share with you centered around understanding why we may not feel good enough, not lovable, not likable. So I wanna share with you, this was, I don't know if you can see this really well but this was a rock I found. I think it was in Santa Barbara area. I hope you notice it looks like a heart, okay? Now I want you to, this is a great example of love and we all started as human beings. We started as babies, pure love, pure heart, okay? We started as pure heart. And as we age and we have life experiences this is what happens to us. I'm gonna put a plastic bag over this rock and I'm gonna put a dirty dish towel over this rock and I'm gonna put another plastic bag over this rock and I'm gonna put another dirty towel over this rock to illustrate this point. This is how all human beings are operating today with a lot of dirty rags, dirty plastic bags around us and all of this is judgment and shame and resentment and comparisons and all the muck that we've accumulated since we were babies. And then we stopped being our shining loving self. We stopped being our shining loving self. And what personal development, self-help and spiritual work is it starts to uncover, it's like little by little it's taking off the dirty rags and it's taking off the plastic and it's taking off this other dirty rag and it's taking off the other plastic. And we start to see who we are maybe just a little bit not fully it takes a lot of personal development, self-help work to get there. And so recently I shared publicly that I did a psilocybin journey in my community and I shared this because and I wanna explain this for a moment because several people judged my actions. They criticized it and they judged me. They said I'm bad, I'm a drug addict. I'm a bad person because I do this. Let me share with you why I do these journeys because just like this illustration I just showed you what the medicine does. And by the way, this is a natural plant that grows in the ground that God invented for those religious people that criticize me God invented this plant and almost throughout everywhere in the world this plant is a very acceptable source for healing because it breaks down all the barriers and allows you to be in your heart-centered space which allows you to touch your divinity that allows you to touch your higher self. And I share this with you and I do it in a controlled environment with a shaman and a group of people. What was interesting about this journey was there was seven people and at the end we share our experience with each other and as each person shared, I said, I'm this person. I'm this person. I'm this person. I'm this person. I'm this person. We are a reflection of everyone around us all different parts of that this stuff that's mucked up around us. And what I love about this medicine and who gives a fuck if the government says it's bad by the way, in South America the government doesn't say it's bad. American Indians didn't say this was bad. Judgment comes from human beings who don't understand and we are riddled with so much judgment and being told what to do. And I certainly believe in God's laws of don't commit a crime and don't tread on others and don't kill. But you know what? What's most important is your own individual journey on learning to love on yourself. It's not about finding a guy or a gal in your life. It's about finding the relationship within. So I choose these experiences as an opportunity to become a better version of myself. This is why I'm a big proponent of everyone considering reading this thick-ass book called A Course in Miracles, A Course in Miracles. Look how fuck, this is thousands of pages, thousand plus pages. I spent three years studying this. Do you know what the miracle is? The miracle is a shift in perspective. The miracle is love. What would love do? How would love respond? That's my invitation for every one of you. This isn't about leaning back in your feminine energy and letting a guy claim you. I want you to lean into your sovereignty and your divinity and claim yourself because it doesn't matter if someone doesn't call you or text you back. What matters most is that no matter what you, just like what my bracelet says, you are enough. You are enough. And that's my invitation. And this is why I scream at the top of my lungs. And this is why I recommend so many different books to invite you to do the work because most humans have terrible relationship skills. You don't know actually how to get to know another human being. And if you're not familiar with the Malcolm Gladwell's book, I just got this called Talking to Strangers. What we should know about the people we don't know. Folks, we are meeting total strangers today. It was so much easier when we grew up in tribes and towns and villages because most everybody shared the same values. Your lifestyles were similar to one another. It made it so much easier. And now it's harder to feel safer. This is why I encourage radical honesty. Radical honesty right from the get-go. Ladies, don't focus on romance. Focus on interrogating the motherfucker. And I say that with a lot of tongue and cheek and love. Focus on asking better questions. It's not whether or not the guy paid for the valet or who pays for the date. What matters most is, is this person shared the same values with me? Is this person's lifestyle gonna fit with mine? And more importantly, is this guy an emotional, by the way, he should be doing the same thing. Is he an emotional grownup? And just like for me, I vet for emotional maturity from women. And I gotta tell you, as a single man out there, you ladies are just as fucking bad at it. And just because you have a capacity to vomit your feelings doesn't mean you're good communicators. Most people are bad at this. So Jonathan, how can I have hope in this? You know how you can have hope? You have hope by remembering that your own divinity, your own sovereignty, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you're ever gonna have in your life. This relationship with your heart. And let me just tell you this, when you find that love in your heart, you're going to attract a wonderful human being in your life. First, it's yourself. And then you'll attract a great partner in your life if that's what you desire. If this is what's meant to happen in this lifetime. And guess what? We get to do this over and over and over and over and over again. So guess what? If you don't get it this time, you'll get it the next time. And that's okay too. That's my opinion. Told you I'm a contrarian. So I hope this resonated with you. I'd like, if this resonated with you, give me a thumbs up and give me an amen. And if it didn't, then I'm not your... I was gonna say guru, but I'm not a guru. I'm not your guide. I'm not your guide. And that's okay too. Go find that person that resonates with you. I want the people in my tribe because I resonate with you and this is making a difference in your life. And if it is, please give me an amen. All right. We got time for a few questions. All right, we've got a few amens already. So thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. All right, I did see a super sticker earlier. So I wanna thank JB for a super sticker. By the way, again, you can purchase a super sticker. Super chat goes to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. All right, JB writes, I've been dating a guy for three months and we're taking things slow. How do I get him to warm up more to being more affectionate and kissing? Jump his bones. Okay, first off, I'm not a big proponent of taking things slow. I'm a big proponent of jumping into the deep end by being radically honest with each other. So purchase two copies of the book, eight dates by Drs. Julie, Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Talk about whether or not you guys are a fit with one another and then have sex together. Now I'm saying that a little tongue in cheek, but kiss him. You can kiss him too. You don't have to wait. But maybe you should decide if you're a good fit with one another. Don't, folks, I'm not a big proponent of taking things slow because you're doing nothing while taking it slow. Be radically honest right early on because that's gonna build intimacy into me you see. And if you're not familiar with the book, and by the way, it's currently out of print. It's called Oral Sex, talking and listening to your way to passionate intimacy. Find books similar to this and learn deeper intimacy. Check out the book by Barbara DeAngelis called Making Love All the Time so you can learn to communicate at a deeper emotional level because taking it slow is called slow death or slow agony or slow suffering. Now I'm not here to suggest you jump into bed with someone right away. What I'm suggesting is we don't have time to fuck around at midlife. So don't drag things out for months. Get radically honest right from the get go to determine if you have a good candidate to invest your heart with someone. Otherwise you're gonna be doing this. What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. So JV, I wanna thank you for that. I really appreciate that question. Thanks so much. All right, we're gonna take one or two more questions. So let's go swimming. Just a reminder, Alexander says, I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you, the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Exactly. Let's go swimming. Cassidy writes, he says, I deserve better. I know he's depressed recently suffering a huge loss but it also seems like he's not that into me anymore or anyone, how do I proceed from here? Cassidy, great question. So I don't know how long you've two been dating but I'm a big proponent. Look at it. My philosophy is more focused on people who wanna be in partnership. Now, for those who want casual relationships, situationships, friends with benefits or polyamorous relationship, my advice isn't the best advice for you. My advice is geared for people who want to either live together with someone or who want to get married with someone. I believe in partnership. So depending on how long the two of you've been dating, how serious are you talking about partnership? But Jonathan, the dating process is about getting to know one another. Yes, I get that the dating process is about getting to know one another. This is why Rome, as I said earlier, the fantasy is centered around romance equaling relationship success, chemistry indicating relationship success. I'm here to say the only chance a relationship has, if you get radically honest on what are your values, is your lifestyle blendable and this person emotionally mature? And it sounds like this person is going through some emotional chaos, which means they're not in a good position to lean into a relationship. So do this. Tell them, hey, why don't you go work on your, depending on, look at, if you've been with each other for two years, it's one thing. If you've been together two months, it's a whole nother ball game. Okay, if you've been with someone for two years, it's time to have a heart to heart about what they're going through. And either you're gonna work together as a team, you're gonna work together as a team, or he's gotta do, and by the way, he has to do work on his own. He might wanna see a therapist. He might wanna see a light coach. He might wanna do the work, the Hoffman process or insight. And you might both wanna do this together. But guess what? If he can't help himself, you can't help him. It's not your job to save someone else. It's your job to heal yourself and then lead by example. So in that particular case, if it's only been a couple months, cut your losses. You don't wanna be with somebody who's depressed. Those are not really fun people to date, okay? That's my invitation for you anyway. I hope that helped. Thank you so much for your question, Cassidy. I really appreciate it. I wanna thank, oh, we have another super sticker. Oh, thank you all so much for the super stickers. I really appreciate it. So one Christian Spanta says, question. Does a woman need to have her life 100% in order to hit the dating scene? I'm looking for work and in between life decisions. Great question. Nobody ever has their life 100% in order. So guess what? You're in good company. Nobody does. But here's the thing. If your life is 10% in order, work on your life. If it's 20% in order, work on your life. If it's 50% in order, work on your life. If your life is 60% in order, lean into the dating process. Here's the thing, life is a journey. It can be if you choose personal development, self-help and spiritual work. So if you got most of your shit together, then absolutely jump into the dating scene because the final touches, when you're in relationship with someone else, those are the final touches. And up until that point, that's okay, but if you don't feel like the ground underneath is you solid, then don't date. I know a lot, for example, women who are raising children and their children take up a majority of their time, makes it very, I'm using this as an example, makes it very difficult to lean into a relationship with someone who wants to do 100% relationship and they only have a capacity for 50% of a relationship. I'm here to say, unless you're capable of giving a majority of yourself to someone, then focus on what you need to focus on until you reach that level, whether it's job, children, health, whatever it is, work on yourself. And when you reach that level of two thirds, you know what, I think I got my shit together, that's when you can start doing it. And ladies, what's it like being with a guy who doesn't have his shit together? It fucking sucks. So just like you don't wanna be with them, they don't wanna be with you. Have at least two thirds of your life together, then go for it, at least. And whatever two thirds looks like for you, that's my invitation for you anyway. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Oh, and you also said you have my book and the untethered soul. I'm so glad the untethered soul is a great, great book. So good job. Folks, I'm gonna take, oh, and you said thank you. I appreciate you speaking to the percentages. You're very welcome. You know what? We're gonna cut this live stream short today. I wanna just go back to what I shared earlier. Folks, I'm a big proponent of not following dating advice. It's funny, somebody made a comment. How could I take relationship from advice from a person who is in a relationship? Folks, while I call myself a dating and relationship coach and I understand, okay, I want you to picture this. Somebody is in a relationship and they're married and they're giving dating and relationship advice. Okay, they did it once their way, okay? Do they have any clue how fucked up the process is today? It is a cluster fuck out there. It is a mess because of the dysfunctionality of human beings. When I come to the table and this is not to brag, this is just a, and I'm not trying to validate anything. I'm here to say I recognize the emotional pain most everybody who's single looking for love is going through and my only advice, when I say only advice, my advice is all geared on loving on oneself and anybody can do that whether they're in a relationship or not. This is why I'm such a big, this is why I recommend my book over and over and over again. The journey of life is a journey to finding that peace within ourselves, that heart within ourselves, that love within ourselves and when we do that, when we begin that, then we can invite a romantic partner in our life. But if you're not working on your soul, it's gonna make it very difficult to have a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship with someone. If you're not feeling good enough, you're not feeling lovable and you're not feeling likable. So that's my invitation for everybody to do the inner work so you can be prepared for that juicy, delicious relationship that makes you feel yummy. Ah, you know what I love you means to me? It means I'm here, you matter, we're important. I've got your back, I'm not going anywhere and I only want you and my hope is that the next time you say the words I love you to a man or woman and you say it to each other, it means I'm here, I'm present. You matter, it means you're important to me. We are important, that means the relationship is a separate entity and it's important. I've got your back, that means I'm gonna be there for you. If you have problems, I'm there as a partner, I'm not going anywhere, that means I'm rooted in this relationship and I only want me, you means I only wanna fuck your brains out on a regular basis. That passion, that loving peace and that's my invitation for everybody. So my hope is going forward, the next time you say the words in a romantic sense, I love you. I hope is that's what you're experiencing and my hope is this work brings you much closer to attracting that juicy, delicious relationship where you don't have to worry about whether or not they're gonna call or text but if they don't, you can remember and I'm gonna recite this one more time. Don't overanalyze, remember you are enough. Recite the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Understand that humans are riddled with flaws and lastly to recognize that alignment and resonance is the person that you're meant to be with and choose partners who are compatible with you not based on romance and chemistry by shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. Are you with me? Give me an amen. All right, we're gonna wrap up this live stream today. As I, by the way, post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. I do my best to read them all. If you have questions for me. If you'd like to talk to me, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. If you can't afford a coaching, check out my membership group called Midlife Love Mastery. Check out my book or go to Instagram and follow me on Instagram and you can write me a message there as well. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic jot them barric of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear, a pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. I wanna thank Elaine and Martisa and Yasmin and Ray and JB and Claire and one Christian and yoga preacher. Thank you all so much and thank you all for the super stickers and super chats. Have a wonderful day. Bye now.