 Okay, my team is doing the thing this morning. It really is a really good Monday morning. Very good day to be six feet above the ground. If you're just joining us, Karibu Sana, this is Why In The Morning, where we bring you a dose of goodness, sauce and a little heat, especially on those cold days. How can you interact with us at Y24 on Facebook, Y254 channel on Twitter, Y124 underscore channel on the ground. Sorry, the hashtag of the day is Why In The Morning. Yes, it is Monday. Still Monday. Still a very, very long Monday for Arsenal fans. I am not letting it go. I am not letting it go. But anyway, moving swiftly on, my name is Valentine, or it's Kala Mi Val, and we have our first interview of the day. This is a segment we'd like to dub a career talk. Now, let's get right into it, okay? Good morning. Good morning. How are you? I'm doing fine. Welcome to the show. Karibu Sana. Thank you so much. Welcome to the people. Good morning, listeners. I'm a show-free, I'm a pastor, I'm a mentor. I do mentorship to schools, institutions, among others. I have written 12 titles in different topics. Yes. All right. You clearly have a lot on your plate, an author, a mentor, very, very many good things going on. I've been an overseer of several churches, yeah, in the PHE churches. Okay. All right. So maybe I can see you came with a couple of goodies, if we can talk about that. Yes. Yeah, there's a nice book. Say Don't Be A West, the power of believing in your dream, and design your future now. Design your future. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Does the message come across as very plainly as the title? Yes. Yes? So they're basically self-help groups. Yes. What inspires you to write them? While I was working in high school for nine years, I discovered that sometimes you may have a good message, and if you can write it down so that it can lead many people, it will be a waste. So that's why I decided to write several books, and my books are all over, especially in second schools and institutions, like banks. Yeah. All right. It sounds like they've been helping quite a number of people. Yes. You must be very proud. Very. How you thank God. Tell me about mentorship programs. Quite often, we have people who are being mentored, talking about their mentors and how wonderful it is to have someone actually hold your hand, especially in this day and age. What is it like being on the other side, being the one mentoring? You know, the faster somebody can go, it will depend with the kind of mentor that you have. And if you don't have a mentor, it means you may not go very far. So there are many people today who have been very successive, but they had not somebody to mentor them. So from the experience that I have, I've done this work, it's now almost 17 years, because I started when I was working in high school, and I've seen people have gone through my hands. Even the schools that have invited me to do mentorship, we have seen a great change. So it's a good thing. I tell you. Yeah. All right. I want to ask, without asking, I don't know how intimate the mentorship program really is, but can you share a couple of stories about people you have mentored, who you've seen maybe in the lowest hour, and then you've seen them bouncing back, if you can? Yes. You know, especially, you know, me, I deal with institutions. And I remember there was a time we had what we call a team building, capacity building for teachers. When I gave a talk, now you can be able to build the capacity to handle stress. And after the talk, the teacher was crying, and I didn't know what was happening, but because of my talk. So then after the talk, he told me I had planned to commit suicide because of stress. So then we started a mentorship talking to her. And I can tell you, he's very successful now. He has done master's, doctorate, and yeah. So there are many, many examples. Even students in very many schools, where I've given a talk to students who are not performing very well, there are several schools, and performing schools in this country, where we have gone and invited maybe to do mentorship for the whole year, like candidates. And at the end of the year, we see a wonderful result because of the mentorship. Because there are many things to go through, lives of young people, especially in high school, in colleges, in universities. When I was growing up, we used to be asked, why is stress? Yes, there is stress. You don't have the energy to pay, you're not doing this, and all you have to do is read. Yeah. What else do you see within the younger generation? Young people, especially on the relationship, it's alarming, I tell you. Many young people, they don't know how to own a relationship. And it has become now an issue where young people are committing suicide. And then they say, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. So I don't know if it's a joke, I don't know if it's a joke. So that's why young people, they need a lot of mentorship, especially the age of, as from 14, the age of 10, up to the age of 30, that year. They need a lot of mentorship so that they can be guided on how they can reach their future. Yeah. I don't know why there's such a significant difference between all the years I was in high school, very many years ago, guys, very many years ago, and now. And I don't remember a time where we were very, yes, we went to the same thing, adolescence is inevitable. You're a damuna cemka, you're hot and cold at the same time. Your brain is still developing, you're still growing, so there is a whole lot going on. In fact, that's why we tell young people. It's normal, it's a damuna cemka, you're hot, it's normal. But how do you handle yourself, have you built the capacity, are you able to control yourself, are you able to have a mature relationship? You know our young people, you know, they are men that I've talked to, but I can remember one day, just one day, the second day, one week, you know, do you see, but this is because of the knowledge, Facebook, you know, Messenger, Instagram has contributed a lot. Now, young people are able to reach several partners within just a day, but during our days, there were no phones, you know, a month. That's why young people need mentorship, so that they can be able to handle themselves in a mature way. It's not bad to have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, but do you set boundaries, are you able to control yourself, do you see? And now you know, because of my adolescence, I remember a phone, new technology, people watch it, monographies, people are very hot, and after they have seen it, they want to do practical. What do you see, what do you do? So, I remember a young girl in standard seven, eight, involving them in sex, but during our days, it was a taboo. Even the thought, sorry, just to interrupt, even the thought of transitioning, because you said something that has triggered me, it's okay to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend at that particular age. See, what that means is, you see, women, they want to be able to handle themselves, even if my mother doesn't want to be able to handle herself, she will come for me, not to be able to handle herself. Why? End of summer, I'm like, okay, it's our bus, all right, so it's, and then now the future, you move on a bit, a bit, if you go to campus with my laser, then suddenly I have a laser, and you don't have a friend, then there's no really transition, we were not spoken to. So I assume that's what you're doing as a man, walk me through that. Do you know, for many years I've done this work, I can tell you our youth in a second school in the university world, especially in the sexual issue, like in our homosexual and lesbianism, it's so high, so high, and it's so open, it's not in our days, but in our days, especially the schools have attended, when I was a principal, I said, oh, talk to these girls, and not one, but it's a group, you know, that's what I'm saying, our young people, they need a lot, that's why you can see young girls committing suicide, even in high school, even in a male school, and I said, I'm going to go, I'm going to go. Imagine at that age, you know, what do we call, these things they use for sex, you know, in high school, but it's a video sequel, and from my research I've done, there's a book written, Billus of Academic Excellence, it's a wonderful book, why our young people in high school, they drop once they engage themselves in sex, it's because they get tortured, like now if you have a, it's a girl's school, you've started their practicing lesbianism, now they're that strong feeling that you want to see a girl in the morning, you know, and that thing is torturing your mind, so concentration goes, after a few days, a girl was supposed to give us an A or B, she will drop to a D, finally she will end up performing poorly, you go outside being miserable, such kind, so what we are doing as mentors in schools, I'm telling is a great job, is a great job, because we have assisted many, we have talked to many, we have seen young people changing, that's why the issue of sex and especially, even in university, in colleges, is an issue that's not supposed to hide, we must talk openly, even parents, we're Africans though, we're very certain of ways, there's something we just don't talk about. To your daughter, just talk, have time, have time with your daughter, know what is going, what she's going through, because during the time of adolescence, there's a lot, there's a lot going on in the lives of the body changes, self-esteem, very low, so parents will listen to us, they should have time with their children to raise their self-esteem, that's why even when I talk to teachers, normally there's a topic that I love to talk to teachers on how to raise students who are self-motivated, how to talk, how to motivate, but it's very unfortunate as teachers in some schools where they discourage students, maybe they abuse them, they don't know how to handle them during that time, but their children are very rude, that's why when I talk to other teachers, they beat the students until they die, because they don't know how to handle those kind of students, even our parents, we have seen parents because during that stage, when our children are just here, in the future, but this is the way that you should value yourself, I'm a woman, I say to myself, who are you, I say to myself, Adab, at the end of the day, they are messed with their child, so that's why when we do this mentorship, we have done even to teachers on how to and leave any principles on how to and the students, I hope also teachers will get augmented, so on how to handle these kind of students, so that because some of them, they are so stressed, they don't know how to handle themselves, so that's why when we talk about failure, I've talked to a few days ago, I was at, last week I was at Stronger Girls National School and I was talking to students on how to rise from failure, it's because in every school we have those students who perform poorly, as we know all of us, we know failure is part of our success, you in one way or another you will fail, but now many people they don't know how to handle themselves, when they have failed, even in high school, many they don't know how to handle themselves, I'm happy that I've seen girls who are not performing, but after we have talked, even though still who have kids in high school, we have tried to give them a right what we call mentorship and after a few days we see them performing, right now as I speak, I have several students who are now teachers, who used to be students, they are now teachers, others are working, very successful, because we are able to talk to them, now this is not the end of the road, this is not the end of life, if you have failed, still you can rise again, so you know youths, they go through stages, like now they are stage number one, innocent stage, maybe standard one, two, three, four, they don't know themselves, they don't know many things, stage of searching, you know, boys who are now discovering themselves, and this is a very dangerous stage, so this is the stage where we are starting now, being very careful to your daughter, to your son, so that you can be able to guide him well, all our well, so especially when they move to the stage where we call the stage of discovery, very destructive, why don't I test for sure, and the many mistakes is being made as from the, let me say, 20 years, 17 years, around the time, many mistakes, now why do I do this if they get somebody, who can guide them, they can be able to avoid some mistakes, that's why I love many schools in this country, where they call mentors, we talk to girls as men, we talk to them, how they can go through a dolly in stage. What do you tell the girls, one or more, you don't know them? No, no, no, yes, yes, yes, but you know of girls, and now they are now teenagers, now, one thing I love to tell girls is build your self-esteem, be strong, believe yourself, self-esteem is very low, when tomorrow I go out for a meeting I say I'm a girl, and I'm a man, I'm a girl, I'm part of a number, but I'm training girls, in every school that I'm being called, I'm training girls on how to build their service team, how to build their confidence, What do you want? Can you talk? I was just joking. There are people who have not built their services. Even in various universities, people who have not built their services. Even in universities, there are people who have not built their services. Even in various universities, they have not built their services. you want at this age, are you serious? take me to your parents wow easy our girls will be able now to avoid such kind of silly mistakes I'm not sure if it's because of the ring but I don't know if it's because of the ring it's because of the ring it's because of the ring I don't know if it's because of the ring it's because of the ring you know you know sometimes you be proud of yourself love yourself know where you are know where you are and I know where you are it's very important that's why I'm saying in the stage of discovery you are able to know yourself you are able to know yourself now you have discovered that I'm a student you have become a lawyer you have discovered that I want to have a great future you have discovered that I want to become a teacher now you will never allow anybody to choke with your life because now you know you know where you are and you know where you are going that's why mentorship is able to open your eyes to see your future and to know how to behave now so that you can lead your great future to see that's why mentorship is very important it seems like you are borderline almost a psychologist as well yes when I was doing my masters I did a lot of psychology subjects even when I was training as a pastor yes and having worked in high school for nine years you can see being interactive with young people yes because I'm sure if young people will be able to know to get somebody who can open their eyes and able to see their future you will never allow somebody to choke with you and you will know what to do at the right time because there are some things that you are doing today but you are destroying your future those things are okay but you are supposed to do those things ten years to come do you see now so some youths that's why mentorship is very important so now somebody can focus on what is important for now and for those things that can destroy their future okay so what I'm getting is there's a lot of play where technology comes it's exposed I want to say us, it's exposed all of us to things that perhaps maybe were not yet things that we were supposed to be exposed to at this particular time in our lives so if you have someone who's a bit younger so now these interactions between romantic partners let's just say that you see if you talk to someone else say it to me if you buy but you had no business seeing what you were doing in the 90s and 80s when you were young I don't know I don't know how much I don't know but you know nowadays let us say the truth nowadays the phone has everything that's why especially when you are in high school you are supposed to see me you are supposed to see me but you know how to handle yourself you see this phone can destroy your future this phone can it can make you to go to a wrong way yeah so when you are young you don't have time but nowadays now that's why our youth have a big challenge I'm telling you they have a big challenge abortion is on a higher level especially when universities are around you can see clinics for abortion and what and that's why in future we are wondering whether we are going to have young people who want to bear children you see because I've talked to young people for sure high school imagine me too much family planning I'm taking bills high school you can see so that's why we need a lot of mentorship in high school so maybe moving on to the last part of the conversation is now let's say I am a teenager when I have children and I have children in a situation where I feel like I have failed because you can feel like you failed but again I don't think failure is a very failure is a step steps to success it's part of the process like he said you fail or you make a mistake and you learn from it real quick and then you move on and that's how people become successful it's not overnight but if I feel like I failed again the target audience is the youth so you feel like it's the end of the world so how would you talk to me how would you coach me into first figuring out that it's not the end of the world and the steps I can take to get myself out of this mess so how would you talk to me how would you relate to me no, you know once you fail we have said failure is part of our success it's part of us if you want to get out of your failure one thing that you should do is to ask this why have I failed you see why have I failed and be truthful to yourself maybe it's because you should not listen to the advice that you are given you see maybe it's because we are so close to somebody that's why you maybe you joined a very bad group that's why you failed so but our young people they don't get what we call to a situation where they ask themselves that kind of questions in fact not only young people even us once you failed the next thing that you should do is to ask yourself this kind of a question why have I failed number two how can I get out of it do you see now as a mentor you try to ask such kind of questions some you tell but hoping it can tell you and others are not open do you see but once you answer yourself then you are able to get out of that mess because I always say this failure is good sometimes we say oh failure is bad nobody wants to fail but I want to tell you one way or another you will fail in life you will find yourself in a situation where you never expected do you see now but you can get out of it you can get out of it so that's why I have said now when we come to young people you would try to know why have you failed but now when I talk to young people in high school I will try to know why are you calling D you came with a very good amount why are you failing in the universe having a lot of referrals and yet you passed very well so we will try to know so upon the woman answer conversation you want to know so that you can guide that person and you know sometimes we give advice if you take in you will get out of it but if you review you will continue to fail do you see we are not supposed to fail the entire of our lives are you listening to me you are supposed to fail once or twice a lot but you learn and listen and you get out of it that's why these young people who are listening to us this morning you must ask such kind of questions am I in a wrong direction am I doing the right thing can I get to my destiny you know in everything that you do it doesn't impact you it impacts you whatever you do if you do the right thing wait for the result if you are doing the wrong thing wait for the result do you see that kind of question how can I get out of this mess when I was here last round I said oh I am going to die I am going to die I am going to die sour but we ask have you learned to listen what I learned out of it do you see so when you are able to answer yourself then now you can get out of that mess even us people are listening to us you can fail in marriage in business you can fail in your career you can fail in many ways in many ways but the question is are you able to ask yourself such kind of questions because sometimes I tell people like this failing as a person and failing as an event what's the difference you know let me tell you failing as a person is when you accept that I am a failure and there is nothing I can do anytime you accept in your mindset that I am a failure there is nothing I can do I am useless now you will become a failure but when an event happens like now you have failed yourself but inwardly you are telling yourself I have not failed I will try again still I feel I am a winner still I feel I can do something still I feel I am worthy still I can keep on going you have not failed missed it so an event is not supposed you know that's why I tell people you are not supposed to rapid yourself by the mistakes that you have done don't brand yourself even in my age I have talked to people I have counseled people I have never failed I have never said over my failure I have not failed until your mind accepts because this is what I always tell people what you are thinking inside is so powerful than what is happening outside what thinking about yourself is so powerful they say the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results but I think one of the most profound things about making a mistake of failing is ego the ego is bruised it depends on the amount of time or resources that you have spent on a particular project whether it is a marriage feeling day one is different from the feeling you will have when it fails 50 years from now you have put time you have put all kinds of resources into it and I feel like licking your wounds is the hardest part it's just the hardest part you know how to take it and then you can comment we can do this again we are going to get up and try but let's just mourn for this particular loss let me comment something you know the way people fail what differs from one another is how you react people have failed in business people have failed in career people have failed in business I was telling my part of my story in 2007 I bought my new car doing taxes and it was stolen and it the same thing happened in 2017 I bought my new car and it was stolen wow when you can create this almost one point you can see but once you have failed how do you pick yourself and continue do you see you have said you have invested time it's okay you have invested your money it's okay but that's an event who you are remains you are what remains if land is that it's not a part of you as you heard what I am saying you can pick yourself and continue with the channel that's why I have said the way you respond how does they remain stuck there are people once they fail that is the end they are not able to pick themselves and continue on with the channel I have talked to students who have failed totally but once they pick themselves and they are able to move forward they perform that's what happens with life you fail in your business you say this is not the end of life this is an event my family remains you get what I am saying your thoughts telling you still you can make it that's why I tell people when you are failed then failure develop you learn from it failure make you to be a better person then failure make you to go forward not backward then failure to open your eyes and see an opportunity that's why you see some people they are sucked to the day one year from now having a very successful business very successful company that's why some ladies once they have been dumped they pick themselves after a few years you see them at the top some young people they are dumped maybe in universities by these guys who joke with them they pick themselves and they say oh no I can continue on so that's what I am saying differentiate yourself from an event and you as a person and a person our failure remains no matter what is happening outside our failure remains that's why we want to tell young people we want to commit suicide for nothing I am a failure I am a failure I am a failure but let me tell you failure gives you a new beginning failure can open an opportunity that you never imagined in life are you with what I am saying who knows what will happen tomorrow who knows maybe two years, three years will be a better person are you with what I am saying why are you committing suicide for nothing but at the time I am quite sure the emotions are lying to you that is why when you are stressed in fact I have written a book about how to manage stress when you are stressed be able to control your emotions don't let your emotions control you yes people to control yourself that is why what is going on in your thoughts when you are stressed when you are failed is more important even activities ringing in your mind telling you are useless telling you are now nothing see what people will say when you are discouraged what parents will say about me what my sisters will say about me what about the people what about the neighbors that is what makes people to commit suicide but if you can pick yourself and say I can be a better person still I can progress still this is just an event I can pick myself I can be a better person usually that is why failure to surprise you that is very smart there is a book called who moved my cheese that is what it is all about learning how to see that things are changing so that when it actually comes because change is inevitable when it comes oh my gosh or have feelings for yourself sometimes give a room for failure sometimes I can fail we are human beings we are human beings and we are subjected to failure we fail so if you want to surprise if you want to surprise yourself it is no you can continue on with life that is why I want to say don't failure move you closer to your success don't failure move you closer to your destiny once you have failed I will learn the lesson pick myself if you are a better person then you succeed I was giving my own example you know there are people they are people and they say this is what I want to do this is what I want to do that is the end of life but I want to tell you there are people today who are in hospital because they are not able to handle there what you call failure in your life there are people of houses they are not able to pick themselves you see as a person sometimes that is why I read books build your inner person have a strong belief no matter what happens in my life I will pick myself I will continue on with the journey I have a dream sometimes you know once something has happened what we call we develop what we call low self esteem when I was being asked and I was asked who I am low self esteem that is why people should be careful when you feel that you have developed low self esteem look for a friend pray look for friends take tea with you see so that at least you can do what you can you can raise your have somebody to share with you can say you are a woman you can say you are a woman you can say you are a woman because you are too easy so people should build their self esteem even our young people those who are listening to us failure is part of our lives so build your self esteem and by building it it is very easy it is why you wake up in the morning and say you have a dream no matter what I have goals I am special there is something in me that I want to achieve I am beautiful I am blessed sometimes when I have failed I want to change my dress I want to change my dress you know you see love yourself love the way you are that is how now we can be able to handle our failure is good imagine I was doing some research of these great people they did great things I wondered that men of them they failed several times talk about the politicians talk about the sportsmen talk about the scientists talk about the historians all of them they failed several times but they refused to give up refused to give up okay I like this is an event I will continue with it to end it we will see we will see we will see pick up yourself how you should smile I think it is important to laugh at yourself for my habit of just laughing either for no reason or at yourself both is a very good combination thank you so very much sir I think we have to break it here although the conversation is so riveting I do not want it to end it won't get the money you are a very wonderful mentor just by listening to the things you are talking about here on set I commend anyone who or advise if you ever see him out there on the streets how can you be my mentor can we get in touch with you or how can we get your books yes that is my command that is my command I do a lot of training to command we need to equity we need to commercial bank so anybody who have a group maybe somebody to talk to maybe in high school university and maybe somebody to come and talk to students here I am let me not say last remarks we might not finish the conversation thank you so very much I like to tell people someday maybe the good lord will decide that I will not be a tv host anymore but that will not change that I am valentine so we are going to have a smokey person we are going to have a smokey person thanks at 54FB Y24 channel on twitter Y25 channel on the gram hashtag of the days when the morning coming on for a panel type conversation you really don't want to miss that thank you