 is there all the same Luke before I say anything else anything about what I've brought up yeah so the bad things that you're talking about not something that other people do is something that we all do almost all the time so for example if you have kids right and you're running late for school in all likelihood if you're feeling anxious about that you're gonna stop blaming your kids you're going to be gaslighting your kids saying all right you're to blame because you changed your outfit just before we went to school and now we're running late and because we're running late you know that's the reason I got into that car accident I remember my father was under the weather one Saturday morning when I was about 17 years of age and he was due to preach that morning and so I think I was responsible for us running a few minutes late and he was backing out of the garage and he backed out of the garage by having his driver's side door open looking out with his driver's side door open so he pranked into the garage because he was so stupid as to you know drive at a rapid rate out of the garage with his door open and then he said you know it's your fault because we were running late now it wasn't my fault he was gaslighting me we all tend to gaslight people where we feel anxious like if I feel anxious about what the boss is going to say to me about something I have mistake I've made or a client's going to say to me I will immediately start thinking of excuses ways I can get out of it ways I can stop blaming other people so all these awful things you're talking about they're not something that's foreign or removed from us it's something that we all engage in we all engage in trying to gaslight people that the things that the bad stupid idiotic things that we do are somehow their fault we all exploit people in that we all tend to try to get what we can while giving as little as possible most workers try to get as much money as possible while doing as little work as possible most employers try to extract as much labor as possible from their workers while paying them as little as possible in countries like the United States there's not much of a bond between each and speaking between employers and employees it's highly transactional neither side feels much loyalty to the other if you're living in a city alright it's going to be highly diverse meaning you don't have much in common with other people around you when you don't have much in common with other people around you you're going to feel much more free to treat other people casually so if instead of living in an individualist society like Australia or the United States lived in a collective of society such as life in orthodox Judaism then you take great care with how you treat people who within your in group because they will know people wherever I go in the world I have found and I go to synagogue right we know people in common right we start playing Jewish geography and I go to Sydney and I go to synagogue there and we know like 12 people in common in Los Angeles I go to Brisbane and we know people in the Jewish community in California so if you're part of some kind of strong community like Judaism or something Adventism some kind of high-intensity community you can take that wherever you go in the world and that can act as a check on some of your wilder impulses certainly within the in group but my main my main point is that this exploitation thing is something that we we all have tendencies towards just trying to extract as much as possible while while giving as little as possible we all look for weaknesses and someone who is weak is going to get taken advantage of right it's it's up to us to look out for ourselves usually other people are not going to intervene I mean if you're drunk and you insist on driving people may try to stop you may be able to stop you but in the final analysis there's a very good likelihood that you will get get behind the wheel of a car and go driving if that's what your heart is set on and so people who like feel exploited well people who feel like that their gas lit what's really going on is that they are gaslighting themselves and someone is honest with themselves right someone who has taken stock of their defects so for example I lack common sense I lack business sense I am not terribly detail oriented I'm not the type of person you aren't checking the engines before the plane takes off so if I like get out of touch with with my weaknesses and and deny them and kind of gaslight myself that I have strengths where I'm actually weak then I'm going to be much more vulnerable to other people gaslighting me if you're honest with yourself then you'll pick up when other people are lying deceiving or trying to exploit you because something would just feel wrong so the people who continually get lied to and exploited and abused usually lack the the courage to be honest with themselves or they're just weak and weak animals get eaten and weak human beings get eaten too and so if you're weak the the only way to live a life is the opposite of a passport bro you want to live within the bosom of your protective family and your protected community so if you're highly vulnerable then stay within the confines of your family and your community it takes courage and independence to be able to go out into the world and go to a foreign country and and establish a life for yourself so if you have an accurate sense of yourself and your own weaknesses then you're going to be much less likely to be taken advantage of by others