 Hi, she was living and I'm back. Okay, so today we are going to be discussing potential. Okay a Lot of women will choose their mate partner boyfriend husband based Only on potential. Okay, and this is dangerous. I'm telling y'all Because I have friends relatives and other people Who based their relationship? Who based you know who they ended up with? On potential And I find that these type of women who based Relationships with their partner or man on their potential Are still to this day years and years later Still waiting on that potential to come through. Okay When you base things on potential you're taking a big risk Why because that potential may never manifest it may never manifest every by everybody has potential But not everyone has ambition. Okay, not everyone is taking action towards Their Potential, okay, everyone has potential Okay, the bum on the street has potential Okay, the surgeon Has potential One of them chose to get up and use the potential And the other one did not So I have so many people saying well when we first met he was doing this he was doing that and then everything changed and blah Blah blah blah blah and he never got up and did anything and now we're stuck here And now regret even being with him. I love him, but I want a better life blah blah blah blah blah well When you get involved with someone And you make a life long decision to be with that person They need to actually be The type of person you want to be with now Okay At the moment you choose to be with them not what they are going to be in five years What they're supposed to be in five years what you want them to be in five years How your influence will change them in five years. No They need to be where they Were you want them to be right at that moment when you make that decision? Why? Because after someone has already gotten Into a relationship in a comfortable zone They slack up And this is natural even with men who are great providers financially stable Once they get into a relationship They're not going to be as you know adamant about things as they were You know in the beginning They're going to slack up a little bit, but you still have everything you need right Imagine if you were to get with someone who only had potential and nothing else They're going to slack up even more because now they're comfortable. They don't have to prove themselves to you They're just like, oh, well, she'll she'll she loves me no matter what she loves me for me Not for what I can do, you know, she's always going to be with me because I just got lucky like that. I don't even have to you know Finish my degree. I don't really need a career I can lay on the couch all day and play video games and she'll just take care of me because She loves me and she knows that I still have potential if I really wanted to I could get up off the couch and actually do something and she's hoping for that and she's holding on to that That's why she's not leaving me yet And maybe one day I will and maybe find that today because I you know, I don't feel like it I don't want to you know You know sacrifice my time and Do this and that I'm perfectly happy and comfortable. She loves me anyway So it doesn't matter. Our love is unconditional There's you know, they're they're too comfortable. Okay But as soon as you start doing better And showing signs that you're not as into him as you once were that's when he starts to worry That's when he says, okay. Well, is she seeing someone else? Is she trying to upgrade on me? Is she replace any dang? I don't I haven't done anything She has all the cards in her and you know in her hand and you know, I'm just basically living off of her What if she decides to break up with me and kick me to the curb? Then I'm homeless now. He starts worrying and becoming insecure And this can lead to lots of issues in the relationship unbalance Physical and mental abuse. Okay. So you never want to get involved with somebody who Only has potential. They need to be already doing something on the way Almost there. Okay. If you are going to go for potential that potential has to almost be met That potential has to be like a month or a week away. Okay. It can't be 10 years down the line. Okay So ladies, I cannot stress this enough So many women that I know Based their relationships on potential and they're still making excuses for their man still years later Wouldn't you rather brag on your man To other women than to make excuses for why he's not where he's supposed to be And why you have to struggle and why you have to do this and why you have to do that Wouldn't you rather be saying oh, yeah, well, my man took me on vacation last week. Oh, yeah We're gonna go here. Oh, he bought me this. Wouldn't you rather brag on him than make excuses for him? Oh, well, he'll he'll do something one day. He's just not motivated right now Oh, I need you know, just wait and give him time, you know, uh, you know He was you know, he was neglected as a child or oh, well, he'll get it together Uh, he's going back to school online. Maybe if he can do this this isn't that you're you're creating a space for him to be Lazy you're not pushing him. You're not giving him ultimatums You're accepting his mediocrity and you're making excuses for him and you're making excuses to yourself as to You know, why you are accepting this A lot of men will will talk themselves out of any type of success Even if you present an idea to them. Well, honey, why don't you do this and why don't you do that? You can start your own business doing this. Oh, well, they'll come up with every excuse in the book Well, why it won't work instead of trying it, you know If you were an expert on why things don't work, why don't you be a consultant, you know What I'm saying is if you have to type a guy who makes excuses for everything who is not motivated Who has potential but won't do anything about it get out of that relationship It's going to drag you down All you're going to be doing is making excuses for the rest of your life for this man that you thought was going to become Something but never did Go find somebody who's already there go find someone who's Almost reaching it go find someone Whose potential Is going to manifest 100% okay And I cannot stress this enough Women everywhere are always asking me. Well, what can I do to make him do you can't do anything? That is who he is Either you can give him an ultimatum or kick him to the curve and upgrade. Okay Men do not move unless they are they're They're threatened. Okay men do not get up and do nothing unless they're Threatened not threatened in a bad way, but like hey, look, I've been upgrade on you. I'm gonna leave you You need to get your butt up. I'm going They won't move until they know you're serious. Okay a lot of women feel guilty about like Pushing them in you're not his mother You know you don't have to baby him You need to give him a choice. Look either you get up and be the man I thought you were gonna be or let me go and find the man that I need. Okay. Just let them know straight up You gotta hurt people's ego every once in a while just to You know get them back in focus. I I don't care about hurting people's feelings. You know why? Because it's going to wake them up. It's going to give them the jolt that they need To look at themselves. You know, there are many times where I have told people Or exes or or something like that. I said look look at you And I I will make the disgusting face and I'm like look at you You know, you could be so much better, but you choose not to you choose to live like this This is not how I see myself living and I can't stoop to your level. So I gotta go. Okay. Good. Look peace You know, I will be that rude To the person to their face Why? Or on the phone, you know, wherever I feel Safe Like because I know there's some crazy folks out there But I will tell them that to their face and I'll and I will tell them, you know I can no longer I could no longer waste my life with you My time is too precious, you know If you're not going to get up and do anything with yourself that I'm not wasting any more energy time Or effort on you at all You're just not worth it to me. I could be doing so much better And once they know that you know this that you know, you're gonna be doing better They'll they'll They'll try to get up and start pretending like they're doing something But once you get a man who's lazy and unmotivated He's always going to be like that and you just got to go but you got to let him know on the way out So that if he does decide to do something with himself, it's for him And maybe in the future once you see what he has accomplished It has something to actually show you if there's if you're still single then hey, maybe he can get another chance, but no You got to leave him where he is So that he can just decide for himself to change because a woman cannot change a man The man has to change himself for the woman by his choice. Okay Um So So Yeah, men make their own decisions. Okay Women may push might hint might ask But it's up to the man in general Whether they're gonna get up and do anything or not. Okay um So ladies stop trying to get charity cases Stop trying to help people Stop trying to do all that because it's a waste of your time and energy and it takes your youth It takes your best years Okay, you're not that person's mother. You need to find someone who doesn't need your help. Okay Who wants you not needs you that's a difference. Okay um For me I would always you know I would look at people and I get tells just by looking at the what type of person they were if they were needy If they had you know ambition or only potential a person with ambition is very Sure of themselves Okay, a person with a person with ambition Knows exactly what they want Knows how to get it And does not make excuses talk to a person for 30 minutes if you hear more excuses then What they did or actions or things that they're working on That's someone only with potential if you hear things that have been done executed Accomplished That is a person Who's you know who has met their potential and has ambition. Okay I know a lot of girls meet guys. Oh, I'm gonna do this. Oh, I'm gonna do gunna gunna gunna gunna I need to see proof. I need to see action. I need to see results. I don't want to hear what your plans are. Okay A lot of women fall victim to this and then the man won't be like, well, I love you And when I get on top, I'm gonna help I'm gonna hold you down. I'm gonna bring you up with me and Never listen to that. Okay, if they're not already on top I wouldn't even bother because once they do get on top What makes you think they still want you, you know when they can have basically whoever they want If you if you're gonna get someone get them already on top because you know that they really want you at that Point, you know, you're not just, you know, they're why they're trying to work their way up To get the type of woman they want because usually the type of woman that they're wet on their way up the ladder Is the one that they can climb on her back And be supported by her And you know, uh be stabilized by her while they're making it He's like she's like the crutch and once he no longer needs the crutch. What's he gonna do? He's gonna, you know throw it away And then he's gonna go buy himself a new pair of shoes What I'm saying is if you're gonna help a man struggle up his way up to the top and you are risking You're gonna risk this is a bigger risk than taking on a person With just potential if you're gonna help somebody get to the top Thinking they're gonna stay with you afterwards and not and be faithful and all that remember Don't take it personally if they don't because you were there you you gave them what they needed to get there when it should have been them motivating themselves You know what I mean You can't you can't be that crutch for men Um because they will not appreciate it when the time comes when the time comes And they're on top And you've exhausted all of your youth and femininity Helping them get up to the top and then they look down at you and say, dang you look haggard. You look tired You know you look You know you've sacrificed so much for me. You know your hair is a mess You haven't been taking care of yourself because you've been too busy taking care of me. I don't want you anymore I'm gonna go find someone that looks Better You know, you're all used up now. I don't I don't need you anymore. Thank you But I gotta go. I hope you understand nothing personal, you know Never give your energy to a man who can't help himself. Okay That is number one never depend on a person's potential always look at what they already have accomplished Or what's within reach? Okay All right, I hope this helps some ladies people keep asking me all the time You know these type of questions and I always tell them the same thing do not base your decision on potential You will be disappointed more than you won't be. Okay So Hope this helps. I'll see you later. Bye