 The Mystery Playhouse, a rebroadcast for the service men and women of the United Nations. Good evening, this is Peter Lorre. Would it bore you to hear a tale of tragic murder? Are you unwilling to sit through the telling of a strange and horrible story? The brief narrative of a man caught in a web of evil? You're not? Then my friends, keep right on listening to the Mystery Playhouse. A sense of humor, I've heard it said many times, is of real benefit to him who possesses one. This particular sense has come to be so generally admired that it has attained the stature of a first-class virtue. While the fellow whom you're about to meet while hardly falling into the virtuous category, he does have a sense of humor. Things like murder or hate and madness, or was someone telling him his mother just died? Practically rolls him in the aisles. He loves a good, ghoulish joke, or when he loves to tell him too. He's about to start one now. So follow me please, to the Inner Sanctum and your host Raymond. Good evening, friends of the Inner Sanctum. Now come in, won't you? This is your host Raymond again, disturbing the peace. Say, have you ever had the screaming memies? Did you ever get an attack of the yelling and wailing jitters? You walk and you sleep? You have a wake in the middle of the night shrieking at the top of your lungs? How you do? Well, you must be an awfully hard person to live with. Well, friends, it's time for our story to begin. From this point on, forget everything pleasant. Get a finger ready to chew on, turn the lights down low, and listen to Peter Laurie tell you the blood-curdling tale. Death is a Joker. Come with me to the criminal court's building. The tense hush falls upon the spectators as Charles Luffer takes the stand. Gentlemen of the jury, I'm accused of murder. I'm an actor, a comedian. Look at my face. Ugly, huh? Yes, so ugly that whoever looks at it laughs. I'm not telling you this to win sympathy for myself. I tell you this because it is important to your understanding. The strange events that brought me to this courtroom today to plead for my life. Shortly before midnight of November 28th, I went to the apartment of my friend Robert Langwell, the famous actor and master in the art. Well, this is a surprise. Come in, come in. Thank you. Would you like a drink? No, don't bother. I don't want anything. Here, may I take your thing? Oh, excuse me. Oh, George. Yes, I have the money for you. You'll be up? When? 20 minutes? Yes. George Galvin. You know him, Charles? Yes. An excellent poker player. Robert. Robert, before leaving the theater tonight, someone told me that you and Julie Winthrop are going to be married. Is it true? Yes, we'll be married in two weeks, right after my wife gets a decree in Reno. You must not marry Julie. Not marry Julie? Well, who are you to tell me what I can do? I know Julie well enough. I also know you. That's why you must not marry her. Charles, it might be better for you to mind your own business. Julie and I are in love with each other. No, you're not. She's fascinated by your good looks. She's impressed by your fame, but she does not love you. Now, look here. We may be old friends, but after all I'm going to act. Wait a moment. I get it now. You're in love with her yourself. I? I'm in love with Julie. No, we are just friends. Friends? You're madly in love with her. That's why you came here tonight, isn't it? No. Friends. Stop your laughing. You, in love with a girl like Julie. Why should my love make you laugh? Also, you admit it, huh? All right, I do. Why is it so funny? You think she'd have you? You are a clown, ugly, clumsy. You, in love with Julie. Then why not? Why not? You! Stop your laughing. Stop it. Can I? Look at yourself. But go at me. No. You're choking. Let go. A joke. That's a joke. Laugh. Oh, and laugh now. Laugh. Robert. Robert. I didn't mean it. Lord, what have I done? I rushed out of his apartment, trembling. I turned my coat color up to hide my face. His trees were crowded with people coming from the late movies and restaurants. I tried to make myself act naturally. But it was impossible. And brave when I saw every pale face that looked at me seemed to accuse me of my crime. I stopped, waited for the light to change. Paper, Mr. Warren Capers. Wait about the Reynolds' execution. Here, let me have one. There you are. I didn't know Reynolds was to be executed tonight. Well, they burned him. Well, he deserved it. Murdering his friend like he did. Oh, wait a minute, Mr. You forgot to change. Never mind, never mind. I went to my apartment and I looked at the newspaper I bought. There was a photograph of Reynolds on the first page. In his face, I saw my future. The shattered hooves. The torch of the trial. The horrible, nerve-wracking experience of waiting for death. I've slung the paper away. I went to the window. I opened it. I looked down 17th store through the ground. How tiny people look. The automobile lights moved like so many fireflies. I climbed out on the edge. I braced my arms. I took a deep breath. One last look. I closed my eyes and... Doorbell rang. I hesitated a moment. I decided to answer it. I closed the window. I went to the door. Hello, Charles. Julie. Why did you rush away from the theater tonight? I was anxious to talk to you. Talk to me about what? I need your advice, Charles. What's wrong? Well, it's Robert. What happened? Nothing happened. It's just that I'm not sure I love him. I'm not sure. It's when I'm with him, everything seems all right. Hanson and Charming, but when I'm alone, I begin to wonder and to doubt. Why? Can't you guess why? Yes. You left someone else? Yes. Who is it? You. I guess that's what I came here to tell you. That's why I don't want to marry him. I would have told you before, but I was so afraid of making a fool of myself. You didn't seem to care. I didn't care. Julie, this is crazy. I loved you from the moment I saw you. You loved me? Yes. But darling, why didn't you tell me? Tell you what? How could I? You're too young. You're so beautiful. And I, look at me. Ugly, clumsy. How could I speak to you? How you locked me? Nothing to me? Nothing? Of course not, darling. How lucky we are. We found out in time. In time? In time? Oh, merciful heavens. What a joke. What a joke. Charles, what's wrong? What a joke. The key is spinning down your face. Charles, you're hysterical. Now stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Julie, something you must know. Yes, sir. Tonight, I committed a murder. Murder? What are you talking about? I killed Robert. Killed Robert? Out of your mind. You don't know what you're saying. But is it true? I went to his apartment and be quarreled, and I killed him. Oh, no. He told me a moment ago that you loved me. You still love me? Yes, Charles. And tell me what you do, Julie. Help me. I can't think. I don't know where to turn, but what can I do, Julie? What can I do? Put yourself together, Charles. This may not be as hopeless as you think. Why? Was Robert alone in the apartment when you called? Yeah. Were you seen entering or leaving? No. Are you sure? Yes. His apartment is on that second floor. I walked up and down. What time did you get there? Shortly before midnight. And what did you do before that? Went to a movie. Movie? How long did you stay there? Only about 20 minutes. Do you have the tickets to town? Yes, here I did. Do you realize what this means? They may never find out about you. Never find out? That's right. They won't suspect you since they can't know your motive. No one saw you enter or leave, and you have an excellent alibi. What is it? Alibi, Julie, do you realize what we are doing? The problem of this is that if you plan this crime, it's always the criminals. I committed a crime, yes, but I'm no criminal, and I didn't mean to do it. I know, darling. I know. You can think of your own life now. And mine. Yes, Julie. Why is she what you mean? I'm not a criminal, but I must play the role of a criminal now. A circular criminal who is cunning enough to escape punishment. Can I do it? Can I do it, Julie? Charles, listen to me. You must find out how much the police know. If it's hopeless and they have found out about you, then it would be best to give yourself up. But let's not make any decisions until we know. How can we know? Did Robert expect anyone to lie? Yes, George Galvin found out that there he said he'd be up in about 20 minutes. Then the body must have been discovered by now. Yes, I'm sure the police must be there by this time. I think that I'll go to Robert's apartment. No, Julie, no, no. I didn't want you to become involved. I'm already involved. The worst for me, this horrible thing would never have happened. The least I can do is to help you now. But, Julie... Promise me you will not leave this apartment, Charles. All right. I won't be long. Julie, if something happens, if something goes wrong and is separated before you return, I want you to know that... I don't know what to say, Julie. You don't have to say it, darling. I know what you mean. Goodbye. Criminals. I have to think like one. To act like one. Just to be one. What question would be asked? I wasn't in the movie. She is the sub. No, they... They can see immediately that I'm lying. My voice would not tremble. I shouldn't be so quick with the answer. Out of November 28. Where was I? Let me see. Well, I left the theater and I went to a movie. It was a very amusing picture. Very amusing. True? Well, I don't know. It would be difficult, darling. One may have to pick it up somewhere. Here's here. Let me show it to you. Here it is. Wow! We were friends. We played in many shows together. We were on the best of terms. That's all, Mr. Lip. Yes. I can't treat. It is possible. I can't escape punishment. Please. Can I be the please? Maybe it is Julie. Good evening, Charles. George Gale. I know it's rather late for an unexpected visit. Yes, it is. But this is important, Charles. A matter of life and death, you might say. What do you mean? Have you a cigarette? Yes, here. Thanks. What's the matter, Charles? Your hand's trembling. It's nothing. It don't seem to be your usual self this evening. No quips, no jokes. What's wrong? I don't always feel like joking. Yes, Charles. It's strange about human nature, isn't it? Who would have ever dreamed that tonight, a few minutes before midnight, you and at Robert Langwell's apartment quarreled with him over Julie and choked him to death? What are you talking about? You're an excellent actor, Charles. But you're wasting your talents on me. Save them for the footlights. Or the police. Police? Will you please tell me what all this is about? You're acting, huh? Now, look, Charles. You killed Robert shortly before midnight tonight. You are mistaken. I was in a movie at that time. So that's your alibi. Very clever. Now, Charles, either we discuss terms now or I go to the police. Wait. How did you find out? That is my secret. What do you want? All you have on hand. All you can dig up. All right. Come with me, all right. I have some money in the bedroom. All right. Just a moment. What is this? Why? I'm taking no chances. Let's go. All right. Well, where's the money? Charles, stand back or I'll fire. Stand back. No! Look over my head. I'll twist it till the gun points to your head. Let go of my hand. You don't know what you're doing. Come on, come on. Fire now. The bullet will enter your brain. Fire! Charles! Charles, don't! I'll make you fire. I'll squeeze your fingers. Charles, don't. This is all a joke. I'll make you... Stop it, Charles! Just a second. Charles! Darling, there's nothing more to worry about. Everything's all right now. We can be married and go on living and never fear anything. What makes you see that? Darling, you didn't commit a crime at all. What do you mean? Robert's alive. Alive? Yes, he's downstairs now paying the taxi. Robert? Yes, I spoke to him about the marriage and he was wonderful about the whole thing. They're all over. You can smile and be gay. That must be Robert now. Hello, Charles. Hello, but... I thought you were... Well, I'm not. But how did you... I think it. George Galvin came in and brought me to... George Galvin. Did you tell George Galvin what happened? Yes, I did. Look here, Charles. I'm willing to forget the whole thing if you are. Forget... Forget? Might have ended tragically, you know, but taking it over, I realize I'm as much to blame as you are. So if you're willing to shake hands... Shake hands? See, now, darling, there's nothing more to worry about. I feel so happy. Charles, what's the matter with you? It's... It's nothing. It's... It's nothing. It's... It's nothing. Gentlemen of the jury, I became a criminal. Well, because I thought I had committed a crime and I had to think like a criminal. My motives were those of all men. I wanted happiness and... when in marriage to the woman I loved, what would you have done in my place? Don't think I know that guy. Ha! I wish I could place him. Well, it must be wonderful to have a sense of humor, but I don't think Charlie feels much like laughing. Do you? We'll pay a return visit to the innocent when it's fun-loving host Raymond soon, but don't go, please. Not until we drop in at the green room where the players are rehearsing our next performance in a mystery playhouse. Come with me, please. Come, come. Mm-hmm. They're in the dressing room at midnight and again in the morning, nurse. Yes, doctor. Well, doctor, what did you find? Will I be blind? Is it very bad? Now, now, take it easy, Mr. Denton. There's nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. You...you're sure? You weren't just saying that. I'm quite sure. Valerie. Valerie, did you hear that? I...I'm not going to be blind. Valerie? Valerie, where are you? Right here, darling. Did you hear? I won't be blind. You're wonderful. Yes, darling, it's marvelous. You...you don't sound very excited. Valerie, don't you realize I'm going to see you again? She doesn't sound excited because I don't want you to be excited, Mr. Denton. You've got to relax. Try to sleep. Sleep? With this ungodly pain? My eyes feel as though they were on fire. That will stop as soon as the opiate I gave you takes hold. You'll be comfortable, I'm sure. Now, good night. You...you're going now, Doctor? Yes, I'll... I'll look in on... on your husband in the morning. Steven. Yes, Valerie? Do you mind if I step out into the corridor for a moment? But you...you promised not to leave me. I...I'm afraid, Valerie. Everything's so dark. The nurse will be here, dear, if you want anything. I just want to ask Dr. Wade some questions. Questions? But he's already told us... Yes, Steven. I know. But I'd like to find out about the treatment and how I'm to take care of you when we get you home, you know. Just little things. But...but hurry back. I...I want you near me. I will, dear. Good night, Mr. Denton. Good night, Doctor. And thank you. You're quite welcome. After you, Mrs. Denton. Thank you. I suggest we step into the consultation room across the hall to have more privacy. All right. Here we are. Thank you. Well, it's been a long time, Valerie. Yes, Paul, it has. Almost ten years, isn't it? About that. Strange that you should have called me and called people to treat your husband's eyes. I was panicky, Paul. I didn't know what to do. It all happened so suddenly. Steven was working in his laboratory at the house when suddenly I heard a violent explosion. I ran in and found him clutching his eyes and screaming, I'm blind. First thing I thought of was an ambulance. Then you... Why didn't you think of me ten years ago? Was it fair to turn your back on me and then to marry a man almost twice your age? Why bring up ancient history? Isn't ancient history to me? I've never forgotten you. Paul, about Steven's eyes. What about them? I have a feeling that you weren't telling him the truth. You're right. Oh, you mean he's not going to regain his sight. He's going to be blind? Oh, Paul. You don't expect me to be terribly concerned, do you, Valerie? After all, he did take you away from me. Don't be vindictive, Paul. It wasn't Steven's fault. He didn't even know of your existence. And you never told him that we were on the point of being married? No, never. It's rather ironic that we should meet again at the bedside of my rival, your husband, a man who may forever walk in darkness. Don't say that, Paul. It's horrible. But unfortunately true. A moment ago, you told me not to be vindictive. I'm not, really. But if I were, I could have my fill of vengeance if I told him about us and then told him that he'll be blind forever. You wouldn't, Paul. Or I might take another form of revenge. I could tell you that an operation is called for. A very delicate operation. Are you trying to say that there might be a chance? Yes. But supposing I refuse to perform the operation. Paul, you're joking. You can't mean that. Perhaps not. But you call me vindictive. Suppose I operate and my scalpel slips. What if he dies? That would be murder. You're not a murderer, Paul. You wouldn't risk your professional reputation. Why must you torment me this way? You really love him, don't you? Yes, I do. Then forget the things that I've been saying. I want you to think of me as a friend. I want you to trust me. I do trust you, Paul. Thank you. Now is the possibility of surgery. Here is the situation. The transparent film over your husband's eyes, the corneas, were burned and torn with the explosion. They've been so damaged that blindness will result, even though the eyes heal. But you think an operation would cure that? Possibly, although it's a very delicate job. The injured cornea must be peeled away and replaced by a fresh, healthy one. Where can you get healthy, corneas? From the eyes of the dead. It isn't quite as horrible as it sounds, Valerie. You know, dying people often will their eyes for just this purpose. We maintain what we call a corneal bank. It's much the same as a blood bank, only but this is different. Corneal tissue can't be stored more than 48 hours. It must be fresh, or it's no good. You have some available in the bank? No, that's the trouble. I'm afraid we haven't... But there's got to be some, Paul. I don't know where Valerie is. Unless... Unless what? I was just thinking. Last night, one of the interns asked me to look at a charity case that puzzled him. A patient is a Hindu or a person named Chandra. He lives in a dirty little shack near the waterfront. Yes, Paul. I stopped by and examined him. Counting curable conditions. There's no way to save him. He won't live more than a day or two, but his eyes are healthy. You mean you think he might... I don't know. You have to have his consent, Paul. Take me to him, Paul. I'm sure I can make him understand. Oh, it may not be so easy, Valerie. He's a strange person. A mystic and a spiritualist. Let me try. Just take me to him. All right. We can go there now. Doesn't the doctor sound familiar to you? That's right. It's Boris Karlov up to his old tricks. I think it might amuse you to be on hand for our next performance when we present Mr. Karlov and creeps by night. This is Peter Laurie closing the doors of the mystery playhouse. Good night. Sleep tight. This is the Armed Forces Radio Service.