 Brene Brown, one of my favorite authors, made a comment in one of her books that said this, that the common enemy intimacy is a fake form of connection. What she means by that is if what connects you and I is our common hatred of someone we both dislike, hate are against, then that is really a fake connection that we have, it's a connection based on our common hatred of something or someone rather than a connection based on our common humanity. There's no quicker way to I suppose make friends with a stranger than to find out they hate the same thing that you do or the same person that you do or the same things that you do and then to have a conversation about the person or the things that you both hate is effortless with a stranger and then that stranger becomes like a friend at breakneck speed because your bond was over this common shared despising or hatred or cynicism or put down or negativity towards someone or something but it is not a glue that lasts it is not it is not authentic isn't that bond is what I think Brene Brown meant and yet our world is full of connections that are based on common enemy intimacy and I think it's been aware of where you have them in your life and it costs you very little to build them where others are hitting on you to make a connection like that with them where they see that you like them don't like something and bend you ear about it and feel they have a connection with you a friendship with you that's really based on what based on someone's guts we both hate based on something we both hate some group we both hate it is not going to last and the energy that's around that is so negative and so winchy and so complaining that it will be a containment and it will be like a reverse effect on your progress and flourishing as a person so watch out for where you have connections connections and the connection really is only as strong as long as you continue to hate that person in the same way that you do because if you ever change your mind about that person or about that group or that thing you ever change your mind then you will see that person whose connection to you was based on common hatred of someone or something they will move away from you faster than you can think because your bond was based on this shared hatred and the moment you change and soften and think there's another aspect here I've changed how I think your detachment from them will be very quick because you know that glue is because we both hate them if that changes I can't be a friend anymore is the proof that it is not authentic connection and lots of people are making connections of that nature and let's not be one of those people