 Good health to all from Rexall. It's the Phil Harris Alice Fay show presented by the makers of Rexall drug products and 10,000 independent Rexall family drugists. Good evening. This is your Rexall family drugists and tonight I have some unusually important news for you. This coming week in five different magazines you'll be seeing a double-page advertisement telling you about Rexall's one-cent sale that starts October 19th. The biggest one-cent sale in Rexall's history. This ad will appear in Life, Look magazine, Saturday Evening Post, Colliers and the Farm Journal. And it contains more than 200 items. All of them regular Rexall branded guaranteed merchandise. And all of them offered to you at two for the price of one plus a penny. These items and many more are available at Rexall drug stores throughout the country. So it's your big chance to buy twice as much for only a penny more. Watch for this ad. Check what you need in advance and use the ad as your shopping list. Remember, it appears this coming week in Colliers, the Farm Journal, the Saturday Evening Post, Life and Look. And when October 19th rolls around, the starting date of Rexall's greatest one-cent sale, remember, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. And now your Rexall family druggist brings you the Phil Harris Alice Fay show. Written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevrolet, with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Robert North, Janine Roos and Whitfield, Walter Sharp and his music, yours truly Bill Foreman and starring Alice Fay and Phil Harris. The Harris family is going through its usual morning routine. The children are getting ready for school, Alice is preparing breakfast and Phil is admiring himself in the mirror. Suddenly, for the first time, he notices three gray hairs. There's a moment stunned silence and then, Hell no, this can't happen to my crowning glory. I can't go on with a tarnished crown. Oh, this is awful. Alex, Phil, what's wrong? Alice, sit down, dear. Sit down. I've got something to tell you, honey. And well, if you want to leave me after you hear it, you have every right to. How are you looking so t- Phil, is there another woman? I wish there was. No! I mean, I wish it was something that trivial. Alice, Alicia. Honey bun, My hair is turning gray at the temples. Oh, is that all? Gat, woman. Don't you understand? I'm prematurely gray. Let's face it, Phil, you're 40. Lots of people start turning gray when they reach 40. You didn't. Let me finish. I was going to say you didn't have to remind me. Did something happen, daddy? Are you all right? I've turned gray. Girls, I hate to tell you this, but your daddy is growing old. Very, very old. It's terrible. Mommy, does that mean you're going to have to take him to the old man's home? What else can they do with an old man? But mommy, couldn't we keep him here? He won't be a burden. We can take turns pushing him around in his wheelchair. I can still whip the three of you. One at a time. It's not acting ridiculous over a few gray hairs. It doesn't look bad. It makes you look rather distinguished, doesn't it, girls? Yes, daddy, you're starting to look just like Louis Stone. No. The irony of it today, I look like Louis Stone and only a few short weeks ago I looked exactly like Mickey Rooney. It's terrible about a few gray hairs. Don't just see. First it gets gray and then you start to lose it. I got to make public appearances. When people see me without hair, what will they say? Good morning, Baldi. I have to lose something. Why can't it be him? Get away from me, Willie. I've got enough on my mind. Something awful has happened to me. Oh, good. Tell me about it. Oh, it's nothing, Willie. He has a few... Wait a minute. I'll bet you won't even notice it. Look at his head. Do you notice anything different about it? No, it's just as flat as it ever was. You two got a brother and sister act now, you... Listen, all she wants you to do is to look at my hair. Your hair? Well, I'll be switched. Hi-ho, silver top. See, Alice? Even little squid-eye noticed it. I don't dare go out in public like this. Now, look, Phillip, your few gray hairs bother you so much. Why don't you go to a barber shop and have them touch it up a little? Oh, fine, fine. All I got to do is to let the guys see me in a barber shop and let them see me having my hair dyed. Why, they'd kid the shirt off of me. Why should they, honey? Lots of men have their hair touched up. Jack Benny goes there every week to have his hair done. Yes, but he don't have to sit there while they're doing it. I don't want them guys to find out about it. Then why don't you go to my beauty parlor? Phil, I have a ten o'clock appointment with my hairdresser. I'll let you go instead, huh? You want me to go to a dame's barber shop? What are they doing? Well, I'd be embarrassed in one of them places. Oh, you won't be embarrassed. Nobody has to know that you're going, and nobody there knows you. No. Well, nobody knows I'm there, and nobody's going to know about... I guess it'll be all right, anything. I'll go. All right, good. I'll call the beauty shop and tell them you're coming in my place. And in the meantime, honey, you'd better get started. You only have a half hour to get there. All right, I'm going to leave right now. I'll be back in about... I'll get that. Hi, Curly. Hello, Frankie. I can't talk to you now. I'm in a hurry. Where you going? I got a ten o'clock appointment at the beauty parlor. One reason to go to the beauty parlor. Don't apologize. It's perfectly normal for the man of the house to come along. Look, Frankie. I'll stay here and talk to Alice while she shaves. You going to the beauty parlor? I know that sounds like a stupid question, but I'm anxious to hear you're stupid. No, I'm going because I... Wait a minute. I'll see if you can tell. Now, look at me closely, Frankie. Look at my profile. Do you notice anything different? Yeah. You're starting to get another chin. I've had two chins for a long time. I'm talking about the third one. I think it's very attractive the way your chin's cascade into your chest. I imagine when you drool, it looks like a babbling brook. Will you forget about my chins? It's my hair I'm concerned about. Frankie, time has come. I'm getting gray and I'm terribly worried. I feel awful about it. Well, there's no reason to be depressed. Come on now, chins up, old boy. Look, Frankie, I'm going to the beauty parlor to have my hair just touched up. Now, will you do me a favor and come with me, will you? Well, okay, I'll walk over with you. Thanks, pal. Hey, Alice, I'm going now. See you later. Oh, while I'm gone, you may sing. Thank you, master. He's so good to me. What you done, what you done, my baby? Look what you done, what you done, my child? Look what you done, what you done, my baby? You've done gone and told me a lie. You told a lie, I believed you. To my heart, the lie. My child, look what you done, what you done, my baby? You've gone and told me a lie. I thought that you... Hey, pardon me, madam. Madam. Yes? I'm Phil Harris. My wife called and made an appointment for me. Oh, yes, she said you wanted your curls dyed. Yes, that's right. What do you want to become? A brunette, a redhead or a platinum blonde? Don't be a wise hairdresser, huh? I don't want to be a brunette or a redhead or a platinum blonde. No, we were thinking in terms of midnight blue. Madam, I just want these few gray hairs just touched up a bit to match the rest of my hair. And if you don't mind, I don't want anybody else to know about it. Well, very well. Just step into this booth and I'll call Lucille. She always takes care of Mrs. Harris. Thank you and remember, I'm trying to keep this quiet. Oh, don't worry. I won't tell Lucille who you are. Now you just lie back in this chair and I'll put this sheet over your suit and this towel over your face. There, you're completely covered. Now she'll never know who she's waiting on. How do I look, Renly? Like a sloppy mummy. Lucille, what am I waiting for you in booth three? Oh, it's 10 o'clock. That must be our thing. Oh, I love to do her hair. She's such a nice person and she's so pretty and young looking. Wonder how she does it at her age. Power tour. Oh, there you are. Hello, dearie. Hi, honey. I'm talking to you. I'm talking to Miss Faye. Miss Faye, that is... You mean Alice on a sheet there. How are you, Miss Faye? Mm-hmm. How's the usual, Miss Faye? You'll be able to sing on your radio program Sunday. I'd hate to have to hear your husband sing two songs. Take it easy. You'll blow a gasket on your girdle. Lucille, you've upset Miss Faye. She likes to hear her husband sing. In fact, she insists that he sing on the program. Yeah, I understand. It sort of makes it look as if he's earning his own living. Look, Luc, never mind the conversation. Just get to work. All right, all right. I just want to arrange this sheet around Miss Faye's feet so I... Miss Faye! Hmm? I hate to tell you this, but your legs are getting awful hairy. Your husband's about this. Hey, let's get out of here. Before this whole joint, those what's come on. Don't stay with that woman. Get out of here. After you, dearie. Ladies first, you know. Oh, come on. Oh, Renly, what am I going to do about dying my hair? No matter where I go, it ain't going to work because people are going to recognize me. Well, why go anyplace? Let's die it ourselves. You know the guy. Well, you mean... Yeah, sure we can. We can use a well-known dye. I can't do any harm. You leave it to me. I'll buy the dye. You go home, wash your hair and get ready. Okay. Gee whiz, Frankie. I hope the dye works if it... Well, don't you understand it, but if it don't work, it's going to ruin my career. Why should it? You still have your glorious voice. True. I might even go in for serious singing. I could be another gray-haired baritone like Inzo Pizza. I'm enchanted evening. You may meet a stranger. Why knock him out of a living, huh? I better stick with my own rag. People drag, people boast, and consistently drink a toast to a place that a lot of the place at the top of the heap. Are they wrong? Are they right? Is there reason for their delight? I must live and doubt till the day that I find out is it true what they say about Dixie? Does that sun really shine all the time? Do them sweet magnolias blossom round every baddest door? Do folks keep beating possum till they can't eat no more? Is it true what they say about Squammy? Is a dream by that stream so sublime? Do they laugh? Do they love like they say in every song? If it's true, that's where I belong. Now if you like to hear that southern droll and gals who say I love you all, there ain't no use for you to stall. Just get on down to Dixie. Now if you like that sweet magnolia lane and gals as sweet as sugarcane then hop the nearest choo-choo train. It's all aboard for Dixie. I'm going to pack my shoes and walk and stick my cotton shirt and my banjo pick. If you need me, you can reach me quicker. We down south in Dixie cause it's true what they say about Dixie. Oh, that sun really shines all the time. Yes, those folks are really livin' where old man river flows. They live on watermelon and honeysuckle rose. Ah, it's true what they say about squarming. You can dream by that stream so sublime. Do they laugh? Do they love across the mason Dixie line? Yes, it's true. And it's mine all. We start to play We start mixing that stuff. Now let me ask you one question. Are you sure that this dye you bought you sure that it ain't going to hurt my hair? Well how can it? It's one of the best dyes on the market. What's the name of it? All Purpose Rit. The label says guaranteed not to harm the most delicate fabrics. Then that's for me. It's because my hair is made of the most delicate fabrics available. Let's get started. I pour the dyes into this boiling water. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Dyes. You got more than one? Why? Couldn't get any dye to color your brown hair so I bought four different colors I'm going to mix them. What colors? Red, green, chartreuse, and fuchsia. This makes brown? Sir Tene Muah. Now I pour them in the boiling water. First little green. Now a little red. A dash of chartreuse. A pinch of fuchsia. A jigger of rum and butter size of walnut. Nutmeg to taste. What are you trying to do? Curly, you're not going to drink this. I go put it on my head either. It's an awful looking mess here. Well wait until it boils a little longer. There, that's better. You can bend your head over Curly. I'm ready to die. Go ahead, I'm too young. I'm going to tell you right now you ain't going to get my head near that thing. Curly, can't hurt you, just try it. Try it on somebody else. Why are you picking on me with it? I wish you had a dog. We ain't got no dog. Hi fellas. Well, if it ain't little wire hair to bruise you. Are you on it? Sure, his fur looks a little mangy. Come here Fido, over on this side please. Oh, we're just cooking up a little, we're cooking a little spaghetti sauce. And what spaghetti sauce? Bend over smell that gladly. Oh, this is ex-wizard. Now Frankie, it's your turn to bend over and smell it. Okay. Oh, what a heavenly aroma. It's your turn to bend over. What do you want to? I don't want to. But Julius, we don't want you to taste it. All we want you to do is just... He's catching on. Right idea, but the wrong head. Okay kid, believe me, we don't want you to taste it. All we want you to do is just bend over and see if it smells all right to you. All right. Smell nothing. You will dunk them, Ramley. The directions say soaking for five minutes, but this is just a trial run. See how he looks. Pull him out. Look, Curly. I can't tell yet. We let smoke clears away. Something went wrong. The colors didn't mix. That's right. They didn't. His hair is four different shades. Yeah, his head looks like an Argyle sock. That egg head early today. You know, come to think of it, his head looked a little bit like a chef's salad. Well, I'm ready for you now, Curly. Just dunk it in. I had no technicolor mess. Look, I'm going to go upstairs and see if Alice hasn't got some good dye. I'll be right back in a minute. Oh, Curly. Hey, Curly. Oh, I wonder what went wrong. I know I can get the right color for Curly. I can only find somebody else to test it on. Can't hurt him. Always wash it out. Oh, girls, come out in the kitchen. Uncle Frankie has a big surprise for you. Thanks, Uncle Frankie. Our hair looks beautiful. Yeah, but I still haven't got quite the color I want yet. I love the color you gave me. It's a bright flaming red. And mine is a very unusual Kelly Green. No, not right. Red and green ain't exactly what I'm looking for. Hey, Remly, Alice had a dye and I'm re... Remly, who brought them traffic signals into the room? Traffic signals? They're young ladies. Colorful little midgets, ain't they? What circus they with? Daddy, it's us. Oh, no. Oh, no, Remly. What have you done to Phyllis and Alice? Oh, you poor kid. Your hair is such awful colors. What are we going to do? Change their names to Aurora and Borealis. Come back here. If I ever get my hands on you, Remly, you've hurt my children. I'll do something. Alice and Phil will be back in just a moment. But right now, our Rexall family drugist has a question to answer. I want to know more about the ad on Rexall's one-cent sale. Well, ma'am, the ad appears this coming week in the Saturday evening post, look, life, colliers, and the farm journal. And it contains more than 200 items offered to you during Rexall's one-cent sale at two for the price of one plus a penny. That sounds like a pretty big sale. It is, ma'am. The biggest one-cent sale in Rexall's history. Think of it. Two big magazine pages crammed full of twin bargains. All regular Rexall guaranteed merchandise and all of them going at two for the price of one plus one cent. Now, in front of every item, there's a little square so you can check what you need in advance. Why? I can use the ad as a shopping list. That's exactly what it's intended for, ma'am. It's your big chance to stock up for months in advance. Or you can team up with a friend and share the savings. Because when October 19th rolls around the starting date of Rexall's one-cent sale, you double your buying power by simply adding a penny. Where did you say the ad will appear? In life, look, colliers, the Saturday evening post, and the farm journal. Remember to watch for it. And remember also, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. Frankie, how could you do anything like that to the children's hair? I'm sorry, Alice. You know I wouldn't do anything to harm the kids. I was just trying to be helpful. Never mind, Remly. You're going to wash the girl's hair until you get all that dye out. Now, get going. Don't get it out. Hold still, Phyllis. Daddy, my head feels tight and my hair's getting awful stiff. Oh, that's nothing, Curly. That's just from the starch I put in the dye. Starch? Yeah, I figured I'd dye their hair and set it at the same time. Watch for the double-page ad on Rexall's one-cent sale appearing this coming week in life, look, colliers, the Saturday evening post, and the farm journal. Sales starts October 19th. Your chance to buy more than 100 fine quality, guaranteed Rexall products at two for the price of one plus one cent. It's the Adventures of Sam Spade coming up now on NBC.