 Well, since I just made a video this morning about how I used to be a scumbag and now somebody's accusing me of using my friend's death as a way to emotionally manipulate my audience, I guess right now is the perfect time to do something I've been meaning to do for a long time, which is make a very public apology to Megan Tonjes. Up everybody, this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. Part of mental health is growing as a person. And not being a dick anymore. So if you're new to that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So yeah, I'm going to share a little bit of a story time with you and full disclosure, like I don't even know like if that's the right thing to say full disclosure. But anyways, this is something that happened seven or eight years ago. I have since apologized to Megan Tonjes a couple times. Uh, we've talked. She's cool. I'm cool. And before making this video, we were actually talking in DM yesterday and I was just like, yo, I want to make this video. She's known I've wanted to make this video, but I just wanted to check in with her and say, yo, can I talk about these things? Or do you want me to leave this vague? And Megan is an amazing woman. And she's like, no man, just talk about whatever you want. So that's what I'm going to do in this video. All right. So those of you who don't know who Megan Tonjes is, she is a creator on YouTube. She is like OG YouTuber. I found her back when all I used YouTube for was for music and cover songs. Like fun fact about your boy, Chris. I love covers so much when they're done well. And Megan was just like the cover queen of YouTube. Anyways, now she has two channels. One of them is just kind of her channel where she does her things. She made a separate one for her music. She just went to play a show in like New York, I think. But anyways, if you're into like feminism, mental health, body positivity, humor, badass women, like go check out Megan's channel. I will link it in the info card as well as at the end screen, but she's awesome. And I think a lot of people from my audience would really love her content if you aren't already subscribed to her already. So yeah, something I try to teach all of you is like check your motives. Check your motives. Check your motives. Like what is my motive for making this video? Right? And something, this is a video that I've wanted to make for a long time. And I was going to wait until I had like 50,000 subscribers or 100,000 subscribers. Like I wanted to make sure that there was an audience where this video was justified. And I don't know. Like I think it's just part of my crazy brain. Like for some reason, I don't think 23,000 is a large audience, which is nuts because that's huge. That's really big. But anyways, a lot of you have been subscribed for a while. You know the kind of content I make. I'm trying to teach you to learn from other people. And I made a video earlier this morning about Jake Paul being a scumbag. I shared my experience of being a scumbag in relationships. And I make a lot of videos about beauty gurus and stuff. And I empathize. I empathize a lot. Like I am a tough love type of person. But I always think that people can grow and change. And one of my motives for this video is just so you all know. I wasn't always a good person. You know what I mean? When I'm giving advice, when I'm giving suggestions, when I'm teaching people on how to grow and improve their mental and emotional well-being, it's because I've had to go through a lot of this myself. Like this is a completely different person than who I used to be. And like I mentioned, there's somebody on my other video I just made about my friend passing away who's saying I'm emotionally manipulating my audience. And I empathize with that person. So why am I babbling? Let me get you into the story. Okay. So yeah, this was about seven or eight years ago. I was in my full-blown addiction, drugs, alcohol, and most of my life, I was just a miserable, miserable person. And that's why I don't take the heart like the hate comments I get. And it doesn't ruin my day. Because I know how miserable I used to be. Like we're talking like friends hated me, family hated me. Like my son was born and I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. And Megan Tonjes, you know, she has always been very independent with her music. And you know, she started all the covers, she started doing her own stuff. But like it was a big thing when she talked about like, you know, she was very independent. Well, this is back in the YouTube days where like people didn't get sponsorships. Like you weren't getting sponsorships, you weren't getting brand deals. And Megan made a video talking about some kind of dietary thing that she was trying out and like promoting it. And just I don't know, like this is why I tell you guys like, not care about stuff that doesn't involve you. Like, and I made a video like, I think a week or two ago about being a sellout or whatever. And like, I was just an idiot. Like, I am just like, what was wrong with me? So basically like something I did on the internet a lot. Like I used to be just an angry person. I had to let everybody online know. And this is back when YouTube was smaller. And I wrote Megan a very long, terrible comment on her video, just calling her a sellout. I can't believe you did that. And like, I was just going off like, like it's just awful. And you know, this is why I, I'm sorry, Megan Ton just like, you know, I was dealing with so much hurt, which isn't an excuse. But that's what happens. That's why I teach you guys hurt people hurt people, right? Well, anyways, you know, we think we think that when we're just sending stuff out into the void of the internet, tweeting out stuff, making comments or whatever, who's going to see it, right? I'm just venting and maybe they'll see it. You know, part of us wishes that they would see it, part of us doesn't, right? Like I made a video about like Shane Dawson retweeting some people. Well, Megan actually saw my comment and she made a video her next video and it's still up on her channel. I'm not going to link it or provide clips, but she was crying in that video. And like when you're an addiction, it's such a weird place because you feel terrible. You know, you're scum. You know, you're just being a jerk. You know, just everything about you is terrible, but you just, you just keep doing stuff. So like I see Megan crying, you know, in this video talking about, you know, my comment that I left and I'm just sitting there like, what the hell is wrong with me? But it didn't stop me from still being a dick for a few more years until I got clean and sober. Hell, if I'm being honest, I was a jerk for a couple of years after I got sober too, until I learned how to deal with my anger and my rage and my issues in a better, healthier way. Like that's something I want most of you to know. When people are like going off on you, especially randoms online, like it's not about you. Like me going off about Megan, like that wasn't about Megan. Like that wasn't about her. That was me and my screwed up terrible, miserable life. That's what it was about. You know, and you know, since then I've put in a lot of work. Like I've mentioned in multiple videos like when these beauty gurus apologize or people apologize, like you can't just forgive somebody right away. Megan doesn't owe me any kind of acceptance of my apology. Something that I learned is that when I went to Megan and I sincerely apologized to her originally, I did not expect her to accept it. She could have told me to kick rocks. You know what I'm saying? And like it's important that you know, we realize that our actions speak louder than words. Like just because I got sober doesn't mean I'm just automatically a good person. I work really, really hard today to be a better person. I mentioned this in my video I did about Jake Paul being a scumbag. Like one of my primary goals today is to cause as little harm to other people on this planet as possible every single day, right? Like just minimal damage. You know, that's why I keep my mouth shut. That's why I don't get into these crazy online arguments. That's why I like, man, I don't have time for that stuff anymore. You know, and I try to preach this stuff about just being kinder and nicer and more empathetic to people. But anyways, I don't know. I hope this video helps some creators out there, some people who might be getting online hate, like you're just being trolled by jerks like me, you know, but I always think that people can grow and they can change. I don't give up on anybody at all. I've worked in drug and alcohol treatment for the last few years, and I've seen people come back into treatment a dozen times and next thing you know, they've been sober for two years, you know, I don't give up hope on anybody. So that's why I'm a even though I'm tough on some of these people making their public apologies, you know, I am very empathetic and I think that they can change if they have that willingness to change. By the way, any of you who have been following the Thomas Halbert saga on my channel, I DM'd him and he sent me a DM back. He did receive that book. So hopefully he reads it. Hopefully he starts getting better as well. But again, go check out Megan's channel. She actually just did a video like a really, really powerful video about how she just started therapy, like, oh my God, like y'all think I open up on my channel? Oh, girl. Like I was watching Megan, I'm like, damn. And like it was inspiring. I hope, I hope some of you who are worried about like opening up about your feelings and past or trauma or whatever, go watch Megan's video. That woman just like put a video up like with her messages to her therapist, to hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Like what? So when you're wondering like how I can come on here and do it, it's because of people like Megan inspiring me. All right. So again, think me and Megan are cool now. She knows I'm, I'm sorry. But yeah, that's all I got. Like, I want to hear from you in the comments below. Have you, have you changed? Did you used to be an awful, terrible, mean person? What have you done to work on it? How do you control that today? All right, let's have a conversation down in the comments below. All right. Anyways, that's all I got with this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all amazing. And again, there is a link to Megan Taunja's channel right there. Go check it out. Go subscribe. Show us some love. Go tweet at her hashtag, Chris is sorry, whatever you got to do. All right. Thanks again for watching. Be a little nicer today and I'll see you next time.