 From Hollywood, California, the Lux Radio Theater presents Charles Lawton in Ruggles of Red Gap with Zezoo Pits and Charlie Ruggles. Lux presents Hollywood. Tonight's play is the lively and romantic story of an English ballad set down in America's wild and woolly west. Charles Lawton stars in Ruggles of Red Gap with Zezoo Pits and Charlie Ruggles. Between the act, you'll hear one of the most famous real-life butlers, Herbert Peacock. Our music is conducted by Louis Silver. This program is brought to the microphone jointly by the makers of Lux Flakes and by you women who are buying Lux Flakes this week and every week. Here's what so many clever women are doing nowadays. They use Lux to care for all their washable clothes and to do their dishes too. Do you realize how little this costs? Only a few cents and it saves dollars. Things stay new looking so much longer. Remember, this is a luxable year and to look your best to benefit from all the loveliness this year's crisp linens, colorful cottons, printed silks and rayons can give you, be sure to use gentle Lux Flakes frequently. And buy the thrifty big box. Let Lux care for everything you care about. Everything safe in water alone. Ladies and gentlemen, our producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Back in 1914, the British Army lost an eager recruit named Charles Lawton. They told him he was too young to fight. So he learned the hotel business in which he was intrigued far more by the habits and manners of the guests than by the duties of his job. A little later, when another birthday had come and gone, Mr. Lawton was at last allowed to serve his country. The war ended. Other ventures claimed him until after ten years, he got his first part on the stage. Mr. Lawton had been acting three years when I happened to see him in London and decided he was the man I wanted for the part of Nero in the sign of the cross. His contributions to the screen since then have given the world many hours of glorious entertainment and artistry. Outstanding among them was his performance of the title role in Ruggles of Red Gap. And tonight, as he repeats that role for us, he makes his first appearance in a radio drama in this country. Mr. Lawton's latest pictures are two Paramount releases, The Beach Coma and Jamaica Inn. And he's now at RKO Studio starring in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. With Charles Lawton come two other fine players, also from the original picture cast, Charlie Ruggles and Zezo Pitts. We hear Ms. Pitts as Mrs. Judson and Charlie Ruggles as Egbert Flaude, leading citizen of Red Gap. So put on your ten gallon hat and your high heel boots as the Lux Radio Theatre presents Charles Lawton, Charlie Ruggles and Zezo Pitts in Ruggles of Red Gap. Paris in April. A velvet breeze steals softly through the open windows at the hotel apartment occupied by Lord Bernstead. His lordship, on a visit from London, had had a restless night. By his bedside stands Ruggles, his valet. Immaculate in dress and soft in speech. Ruggles is the perfect gentleman's gentleman. He shakes the coverlet gently and speaks in the liquid tones, reserved for awakening the master after a too enjoyable evening. My lord, my lord, it's ten o'clock, my lord. What? Ten o'clock, my lord. Ten o'clock, what? In the morning, my lord. Oh, what day? April the 17th. My lord. What year? One thousand nine hundred and eight. My lord. Oh, same as yesterday. Is there anything wrong, my lord? Everything's wrong. Shellfish again for supper, my lord. Well, what of it? You know what they do to your digestion, my lord. They don't do a thing to my digestion. No, my lord. No, if you want to know, I had oysters and lobster and sherry and champagne. Right. My lord. I had dinner and spent the evening with Mr. and Mrs. Egbert Floud. The Americans, my lord? Yes. They taught me their native game of drawing poker. Quite a horrible experience, my lord. Yes, it was. Mrs. Floud telephoned a few minutes ago, my lord. I informed her you were asleep. She said you had a surprise for me, my lord. Was that all she said? Yes, my lord. Got tea, my lord? Oh, thank you. I say, uh, Ruggles, how are you on shocks? Shocks, my lord? Yes, you know, shocks, upheavals. You've always stood up under them pretty well, haven't you? Trust I have, my lord. I trust I always will, my lord. Yes, well, this has to do with the game of drawing poker I played last night. You see, in this game, there's a thing called bluffing. And though I say it myself, I'm particularly good at it. I bluffed Mr. Floud into putting up quite a sum of money. Then you won, my lord. No, you see, I didn't realize that Mr. Floud was not bluffing also. I suddenly discovered that I'd lost more than I could pay. And then Mrs. Floud said I'd got something they'd rather have than the cash. Then you didn't lose any money, my lord. No, Ruggles, I, uh, I lost you. Ruggles! I'm extremely sorry, my lord. Did I, uh, did I understand you, uh, to say, my lord, that you had, uh, lost me? I did. Ruggles, please! Do I, uh, do I understand, my lord, that I was the stake in this game of chance? Yes, Ruggles. Apparently this Floud woman's had her eye on you. You don't have to go if you don't want to. If I was lost like that, my lord, I am a debt of honor. I have to be paid, so to speak. Well, it's a dash sporting of you to go off like that, Ruggles. Go off, my lord. I have an idea. Well, I'd rather think they want to take you out to America. America, my lord. A country of slavery. No, no, I think that's all finished. I believe some chap by the name of Pocahontas did something about it. There, wouldn't be surprised if this isn't that Floud chap to collect you. Collect me, my lord? Will you answer it? I, uh, oh, tell him I'm ill, will you? Yes, my lord. Howdy, Bill. Morning, sir. You remember me, don't you? Floud's the name, Egbert Floud. Yes, sir. Won't you, uh, come in, please? Thanks. Now, uh, now look here, Bill. This thing ain't my idea, you know. It's Effie's. She's my wife. And when she once makes up her mind to do a thing, a whole herd of buffalo wouldn't stop her. Buffalo, sir? I don't know if I'd want you at all if it was me, but it's Effie. And she's some wildcat, believe me. I have no reason to doubt you, sir. Yeah. Now, uh, now I don't want to hurry here, but I guess we ought to be gone because, uh, well, when Effie wants a thing, she'd fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites. A rattlesnake, sir? Yes, sir. Will you excuse me a moment? Yeah, sure, sure. Go right ahead. My lord. Yes? The, uh, gentleman has called for me, my lord. Oh. Is there anything further I can do for you, my lord? Uh, don't think so, Ruggles. Uh, this is, uh, all very, uh, sudden, isn't it, my lord? Well, uh, yes. I can't help worrying about what is to become of you, my lord. Oh, I'll be all right. Rather fundraising myself for a change. Uh, I've put your digestive tablets over there, my lord. Yes, well, uh, goodbye, Ruggles. Look after yourself. Yes, my lord. I'll return later for my things, my lord. Goodbye, my lord. Goodbye. Say, Bill, I'm just looking at this picture on the wall here. What's it supposed to be? The French Revolution, sir. The aristocrats on their way to the guillotine. I am ready to leave now, sir. Come on in, Colonel. Hey, Effie, he's here. I got him. Yeah, sit down, sit down, sit down, Colonel. Colonel, sir, my, my name is... Sit down. Make yourself at home. I heard you thought you... Here he is, Effie. Hulk, tired and waiting. Well, Mr. Ruggles, there certainly is a pleasure. And are we delighted to get you? I do hope you're going to be very happy with us, both here and in Red Gap. Red Gap, madam? Yes, Red Gap, Washington. Our hometown, you know. A little bourgeoisie, I'm afraid. But you'll find a few of us really do care about what's happening in the hote, moondi, or a society, as you call it. Yes, madam. Now, Ruggles, I want you to start right in this morning. The first thing you can do is to take Mr. Flout out and buy him some new clothes. What's the matter with these, I got on. And then, Ruggles, after you've made Mr. Flout presentable, you might spend a few hours with him in the art galleries. There are galleries, all. Yes, dear. Art galleries. Art Ruggles is Mr. Flout's emotional outlet. Yes, madam. But you mustn't let him stay too long. We have some very important people coming for dinner. Very dis-tan-gy. Yes, madam. Now, you see what I mean about the wildcats and the rattlesnakes? Do you know anything about art galleries, Bill? If I may be allowed to say so, sir. We have a common sympathy in the pictorial arts, sir. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, then, come on, then. I'll take you to a good one. Waiter, give me another of the same, will you? We miss you. Mr. Flout, may I remind you, sir, that madam instructed us to go to the art galleries? Not at least, Colonel. I get all the art I need right here at this table. Now sit down, make yourself comfortable. Oh, no, sir. Why, what's the matter? Sir, there is a certain difference in our walks of life, sir. Which makes it impossible for me to sit at the same table with yourself, sir. You ain't ashamed to sit here, are you? Ashamed? It isn't that, sir. It, uh, it just doesn't do for a gentleman's servant to sit with his superior, sir. Your superior's nothing. You're as good as I am and I'm as good as you are, ain't I? Well, uh, sir... Well, ain't I? Uh, yes, sir. Well, then, what's eating you? Now, sit down. Take the weight off your shoes. Yes, sir, if you insist, sir. Ah, there you are. That didn't hurt much, did it? Well, what you're looking so funny about, you ain't sick, are you? I am an excellent hell, sir. But it is rather a shock to find oneself breaking the tradition of generations. Well, don't let us throw you, Colonel. Excuse me, sir, but you must remember to address me as Ruggles, sir, and not as Colonel or as Bill or as Mr. Ruggles as you've been doing, sir. Now, why? Now, why? Why do you say that? Why can't I call you Colonel? If we were overheard, sir, people might take us to be equals. Now, listen, let me tell you something. Where I come from, everybody is equal, see? Indeed, sir, that may do very well for America, but it would never do with us. Yeah, well, I don't get what you're talking about. Well, I'll bet. Well, look who's here. Hey, Jeff. Jeff Tuttle. Yeah, Jeff Tuttle from Red Gap. Good old sourdough. Yeah! Well, I thought you're going to pass me by, you longhorn. You're going to pass you by. Why, you knock-knee don't say wash. Yeah, wait a minute. I want you to meet a friend of mine. Colonel Ruggles shake hands with my pal, Jeff Tuttle, from the state of Washington. Well, pleased to meet you, Colonel. How do you do, sir? But I have no military title, whatever, sir. Never having served our king, not even in the ranks. Well, that's all right. Any friend of sourdough is okay with me. Say, what's the matter with settin' down? Yeah, sure. Sit down, Colonel. Sit down. Well, Jeff, you old stingin' lizard, where'd you turn up from? Europe. Me and Amy's been all over Europe and Italy. Say, what's the matter with havin' a drink? Well, I don't know. Beer's all I know how to say. You'll leave that to me. Here, boy. Visquis sourdough. We miss Europe. That's French for highball. You don't, Jeff. Well, how'd you ever learn it, Jeff? Well, it took me some time to get the accent. We had some very important guests for dinner, sir. We were given deafness instructions by Madam. Yeah, he means F.A. You know how she is, huh, Jeff? Do I? Yeah. Colonel Ruggles, that woman can bite through nails. Yes, sir. She chews them instead of gum, Colonel. He drinks, monsieur. Oh, that's fine. Just set the drinks down here, boy. And wait a minute. Bring us three more, will you? There you go, muster. Yeah, you old coyote. Mr. Flout, I hope you won't take me in pertinent. You'll sit down, will you? Well, here's mud in your eye, Jeff. Come on, Colonel. Wrap your paw around that glass and dive in. If you excuse me, sir, I never touch. Oh, go on. Go on. Don't be bashful. Oh, well, sir... Come on, she goes, boys. Ah! Yahoo! Yahoo! Have you been in Paris, Mrs. Flout? Oh, just a few weeks. Some more Urduvies, Mrs. Tiflin. Thank you. Mr. Bainbury. Thank you, no. Very kind of you to invite us, Mrs. Flout. Oh, that's what I love about Paris. One makes such good friends so easily. A decent one. Yeah. How true. It won't be here any minute now. I must apologize for him. But he's spending the afternoon in the art gallery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look out, Jeff. Watch it, Colonel. Why, why in the world? What's that? Yeah, yeah, he's a wild one, Jeff. Yahoo! Mrs. Flout! Oh, please, ladies and gentlemen, it's nothing. Nothing at all. Oh, do have some more Urduvies, please. Hey, hey, Effie. Eggman. Yahoo! Hello, everybody. This is my old friend, Jeff. Jeff, meet everybody. Effie! Oh, I'm afraid I must leave, Mrs. Flout. Oh, no, no, no. Please don't go. It's quite all right. It's nothing. Good evening, Mrs. Flout. So sorry. Well, what's the matter? What's the matter, everybody? Going? Hey, come back here. Oh, good night. Good night. I'm so sorry. I don't know what. Good night. Good night, everybody. Well, what's the matter, Effie? Ain't they going to stay and eat? Eggman, Flout. You, you, you've been drinking. You owe me drinking? Oh, yes. Hi, there, Effie. You shut up, Jeff. Shut up. You've disgraced me. That's what you've done. I was never so mortified in my life. And you, Ruggles, I entrusted him to your care. Can you bring him home like this? No? Why don't you see? What have you got to say for yourself? Yeah! The curtain falls on Act One of Ruggles of Bread Gap, starring Charles Lawton with Zazel Pitts and Charlie Ruggles. During our brief intermission, we bring you the Browning family. It's a hot summer day, and we find Dot Browning visiting her friend Janie Barrett across the lake. The two girls are talking about a party they're going to next week. What are you going to wear, Janie? My white cotton evening dress. Gee, I wish my hands weren't so red. They'll look dreadful against that wife. I know. Hands seem to show so much more in the summertime, don't they? Mm-hmm. And it's awfully hard to keep them nice-looking, swimming and grubbing around the garden, not to mention dish washing. Want to know something, Janie? What? I think it would help a lot if you use Lux Flakes for your dishes. Why? Because Lux is so easy on your hands. It doesn't make them all rough and red the way a lot of soaps do. We always use it at home. And your hands always look nice, too, Dot. Well, you just try Lux Flakes and see how much it helps. I certainly will. I'm going to ask Mother if she won't get a box tomorrow. That's just grand. Then maybe you'll have nice hands in time for the party. In the summertime, nice hands are more important than ever. It isn't any fun to get all dressed up in pretty short-sleeved dresses and light pastel colors and then have rough, red hands spoil your whole appearance. Your hands need special attention. Now, listen. You wouldn't dream of washing your hands with harsh kitchen soap, would you? Then why expose your hands for hours to soaps like that in your dish pan? You're letting harmful alkali roughen and coarsen them. It's so unnecessary. Use Lux Flakes for your dishes and help your hands stay soft and smooth. Because Lux has no harmful alkali. Absolutely nothing to bite and sting your skin the way harsh soaps do. Lux is gentle this is the finest toilet soap. And a little goes so far. Lux is thrifty. And now I see Mr. DeMille is ready for act two. We continue with Ruggles of Red Gap starring Charles Lawton as Ruggles with Zazu Pitts as Mrs. Judson and Charlie Ruggles as Egbert Flaude. Ruggles has been forgiven for his first misstep and now far from his native Piccadilly far from the comforting notes of London's Big Ben, he journeys fearfully through the vast reaches of the west of Red Gap, Washington. We're almost there now, Ruggles. Indeed, Madam. I have seen none of the usual signs of an approaching city. Well, Red Gap ain't exactly a city bill. Fastest grown town in the state, though. We shall be met by my sister and my brother-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Belknap Jackson. Are you fine, Mr. Belknap Jackson? Quite the gentleman. Yeah, you sure will. Effie's mother, Mark Pettingill, made a barrel of money in oil and Belknap searched a gentleman. He'd come all the way out from Boston to marry into the family. Egbert, be quiet. Mr. Jackson is the leader of our north-side set, Ruggles. You'd hardly believe it. But until he came to Red Gap, nobody even thought of putting doilies under the finger bowls. No, nobody even thought of finger bowls. Really? How very extraordinary. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. You see that sign out there, Bill? You see what it says? Keep your eye on Red Gap. A rootin' cutin' town. Don't that make your heart beat faster, huh, Bill? Well, in a way, it doesn't. How are you, Effie? A Belknap, moon chair, Belknap. How are you, moon chair? I have the carriage waiting, Effie. Thank you, Belknap. Oh, this is Ruggles, Egbert's man. We persuaded our friend Lord Bernstead to let him come to us. Oh, really? Take the bags, Ruggles. Very good, sir. It is Mark. Mark Pettingill, were you all maverick? Tardo, your old horn toad. Well, you're a sight for sore eye. You're gettin' prettier every day. Oh, go on, you bow-legged lizard. Mother, please. Oh, hello, Effie. You're gettin' fat again. Oh, ma, listen, I want you to meet the Colonel. Colonel, this is ma Pettingill. Hi, Colonel. Where's your uniform? Mother, this is Egbert's servant. Shall we leave, Effie? Sure, go ahead. I'll take the Colonel home for ya. Mother, you can't. Why not? You ain't gonna leave him here, are ya? Come on, Colonel. I'll give ya a hand with those grips. Thank you, madam. Oh, Grey, home in the West. Twenty rooms and you could drown in the bath-hub. It is most impressive, madam. Never mind that, madam, business, Colonel. Just ma to you, ma Pettingill. Uh, yes, madam. Go ahead, Ianbill. After you, madam. Well, that's certainly sweet of ya. Thanks, Colonel. Daisy, Willie, come here. Yeah? Where are you, ma? This is our maid, Colonel. How do you do? Pardon me. Are you calling me, Missy Ma? And this here's our cook, Willie Lung. Meet Colonel Ruggles, folks. How do you do? How do you do, Colonel? Oh, me pleasure to meet you, Colonel. Now, be that, folks. We want dinner in a hurry. Okay, ma. All right, Missy Ma. I beg pardon, madam. Was that a genuine black amour? Yeah, sure. And a China person? That's right. Well, what do you think of the place? It's, uh, it's large. Ruggles! Ruggles! Oh, here you are. Yes, madam. Ruggles, I've just written a little notice of your arrival here as Mr. Flau's man. I want you to accompany Mr. Flau over to the newspaper office. I want it to appear in tomorrow's paper. Yes, madam. And Ruggles. Yes, madam. Make sure that Mr. Flau doesn't stop off anywhere. You know what I mean, Ruggles. Yes, madam. Well, come on, Bill. What you're stalling around about? Shake your feet. Yes, sir. But are you sure the newspaper office is in this direction, sir? Now, stop worrying, Colonel. But I was definitely instructed, sir. Oh, sure. I know. Listen to that. You hear that? That's Nell Kinner singing. Ain't it beautiful? Huh? Come on. Yes, sir. But just where are we going, sir? We're going to Nell Kinner's house. That's where we're going. She's having a barbecue and beer. Barbecue, sir? Yeah, yeah. That's roast cow. Now, come on in and mix around with the boys, huh? Oh, no, sir. Say, lookie here. Now, who are you working for, anyway? Why, uh... No, sir. Well, then, come on in and mix. Mix, sir? Yes, sir. Hi, Sam. Hi, Joe. Welcome home, sourdough. Well, Jake Henshaw, you're coyote. Glad to see you back, egg. Jake, I want you to shake hands with my friend, Colonel Ruggles. Hi, you're Colonel. Yeah, this is Jake Henshaw, Colonel. Find us Newspaper Man in the West. How do you do, sir? Colonel, eh? What army? Well, the truth of matters is... I got it. British army. Retired. Here, wait till I make a note. What's your first name, Colonel? It's, uh, never used, sir. Just for the paper, Colonel. Go on, go on, Colonel. Tell him your first name. Well, uh, it's, uh... Marmaduke. It's Marmaduke? Yahoo! Ha-ha-ha! Excuse me, Mr. Clough. Yeah, sure, I'll excuse you. Go ahead, Marmaduke. Ho-ho-ho-ho! Yeah, go on over there and get yourself around some of that barbecue. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Good evening. Good evening, uh, madam. Can I get you another sandwich? Thank you. I say, who, uh, is responsible for this, uh, mitzos? Why, I am. Really? It's very excellent indeed, my good woman. If you're calling me a good woman, because you don't know my name, it's Jedson. I'm delighted to make your acquaintance, I'm sure. I know who you are. You're that colonel everyone's talking about. Oh, but really, I don't know. I'm glad you like my mitzos, colonel. Uh, yes, it's very good. Very good. It's almost, uh, perfect, in fact. What do you mean it's almost perfect? Oh, I was just thinking that a few drops of this, perhaps, and a little bit of that, might make it into a really superlative sauce. Well, let me tell you something. I've been making mitzos for longer than I can remember, and nobody's ever found fault with it before. Wasn't finding fault with it. Well, what do you mean by a few drops of this and a little bit of that? Only meant perhaps a little spice and some wine vinegar. Well, listen, colonel, you'd better stick to something you know about, like leading a regiment. Uh, please, uh, let's not have an international row about it. Well, I don't... Shall we, uh, shall we dance? Well, I really shouldn't. I've got work to do. Oh, are you in service here? If you mean, am I working here? Why, yes. I always do a little cooking and serving for folks when they give a party. Oh, I see. Yes, I know what you mean. A man in your position wouldn't expect the help to dance, but nobody minds here, colonel. It's funny, but you're the first one that ever made me feel different than anyone else. Might I, uh, have the pleasure of this waltz? Why, sure. It's been a grand evening, colonel Ruggles. Thank you so much. Oh, please don't mention it. It's been most enjoyable for me also, Mrs. Johnson. No, colonel. Ruggles? Oh, I see. Will you excuse me? Mr. Beldap Jackson is calling me from the gate. Sure, go ahead. Ruggles! I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing you again soon. If you'd like to come to tea someday, colonel. Ruggles! Yes, yes, I've been delighted. Good night, Mrs. Johnson. Good night. Uh, did you, uh, call me, Mrs. Jackson? No, very well I did. So this is where you were all evening? Yes, uh, well, that's fine. What prompted you to mingle with a guest? Oh, sir, I had definite instructions from Mr. Floud, sir, to, uh, mix. Well, I'm sorry to spoil your pleasure, but you must come home with me at once. I feel he's incumbent upon me, sir, to see if that coincides with Mr. Floud's wishes. Never mind, Mr. Floud. He can stay here. You're coming with me. I think I should speak to Mr. Floud, sir. And I say you're coming with me. Well, are you ready? No, sir. Why, you impertinent... I'm sorry you did that, sir. And I regret that I feel it necessary to retaliate. Why, you... Good night, sir. I tell you, Effie, I will not be slapped by a servant. English or otherwise. Are you still going to harbor the Ruffian? Certainly not. He's an anarchist, Effie, hitting my poor bell-nap. Does it still hurt, do you? Yes, it does. I had cold compresses on all last night. I fail to see anything funny about it, mate, huh? You were... Quiet, Mother. Ruggles, come here. How could you do it? I, uh, costly gave way to the brute in there. Mr. Bell-nap Jack is quite right. You will have to go, Ruggles. You mean, madam, that I am to be turned loose in this, uh, remote settlement? Remote settlement? You see, Effie, the man's quite impossible. You better pack your bags immediately. Uh, just a minute, folks. Before you go throwin' Bill out on his ear, you better read this here piece in the paper. Well, what is it? Go ahead, read it. Why, it's about... Oh. Oh! What does it say? It's terrible. Colonel Mamadouk Ruggles, late of the British Army and an intimate friend of the Earl of Bernstead. What? An honored guest of Mr. and Mrs. Egbert Loud. Oh, disaster. Complete social disaster. A series of entertainments are already being planned. You can't fire him now, Effie. Pull up a chair, Ruggles. You're one of the family. Listen to this marvel, listen. Colonel Mamadouk Ruggles, late of his majesty's cold-streamed guards, was honored at a tea given by Mrs. Atwater Wood. Colonel Ruggles to be guest at honorary dinner. A card party and dance for the British Colonel, a visitor from across the sea. Oh, I must have it. We're just all happy. Oh, ladies, this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to Red Gap. I thought you'd come here. I know how busy you've been, what with all those invitations I've been reading about. Oh, yes, yes. It has been a bit of a round water. I say, what a spitting little hope you've got, Mrs. Janssen. Oh, I just sort of fixed it up myself. Did you? Did you? Very snug, I must say. Well, topping... Oh, goldfish. Do you like goldfish? Rather, I have always derived intense satisfaction from their silent companionship. Oh, have you? Oh, I say, well, this is rather a quaint picture. Oh, I say, who is it? That? Oh, that was Elmer, Mr. Janssen. Oh, yes. Mr. Janssen? Yes, he's dead. Really? A fine-looking chap, I must say. Colonel, would you excuse me? I think the tea-wet water is boiling. I say, can't I help you? Oh, no, please. Men are so helpless in the kitchen. Helpless, really? Well, now just sit down and I'll pour the tea in. Mrs. Janssen, please. Oh, why? What's the matter? Oh, no, always bring the pot to the kettle. Never bring the kettle to the pot. What? Listen, Colonel, I've been making tea for longer than I can remember. Now, look here, don't let's get into difficulties about this, but you must listen to an Englishman about tea. If it were coffee, I should be your pupil, but we're making tea. And when making tea, always bring the pot to the kettle. Never bring the kettle to the pot. Oh, Colonel, your knowledge is surprising. I don't see why you should say surprising, Mrs. Janssen, the best cooks have always been men. I myself have pronounced views as to the preparation and serving of food. Have you? Oh, yes, yes, yes. It would be difficult to describe the intense satisfaction I've always derived from cooking. And goldfish. You know, Colonel, you were right about that meat sauce, too. It's much better with the vinegar. Isn't that splendid? You know, if you weren't such a gentleman, I mean a colonel in all. I bet you'd do swell if you'd open up a restaurant. A restaurant? Oh, my God, Mrs. Janssen, restaurant. Oh, I know it, cellan, excuse me. Well, sit down, Colonel, and I'll get the tea. Come on, I'll get the tea thing. Oh, thank you. Restaurant. Restaurant. Mm-hmm. Restaurant. Well, evening, Ruggles. Ah, good evening, sir. Yeah, you look quite comfortable beside the fire there. Sit down. Oh, no, thank you, sir. Reading? Oh, yes, sir. I've been taking the liberty of reading again the life of one of your great American statements, sir. Wonderful man. Very instructive pastime, Ruggles. I found it so, sir. You seem in a very good mood yourself tonight, sir. I am. It's a pleasure to tell you that you're through. Did you, uh... And you're fired, Ruggles. Mrs. Floud instructed me to pay your railroad fare to San Francisco. There's a train leaving at 9.30. See that you're on it. Train, sir? Uh, yes, uh, train, train, sir. Yes, sir. Good-bye to you. Hello there, Colonel. How do you do? What do you have? I think I've time for a small glass of beer before the train goes. Thank you. Small one, huh? Hiya, Colonel. How do you do? Howdy, Colonel. Hiya, Colonel. How do you do? How've you been? In excellent health. Thank you. Hey, hey, Bill! Bill! Come over here! Mr. Floud? Come on back here! Well, well, what are you doing down here, you lone wolf? Hiya, Colonel. Good evening, madam. Good evening to you, sir. I was, uh, under the impression that you had gone out to the ranch. We set out, too, Colonel. You just stopped off here for a little bite to eat. What's wrong? This is, uh, this is most awkward, sir. Huh? What's he talking about? You, uh, you ain't been drinking, have you, Colonel? I should like you to know that I have only the kindliest feelings towards you both. Sure he's been drinking. No, he ain't either. He ain't. Well, what's up, Colonel? I thought you knew, sir. Thing like this has never happened to me before, sir. It, uh, it's something of a shock. What is? I've been discharged, sir. What? Who did it? Mr. Jackson, madam. Bill Nebjection, while cut out that dude's windpipe. He can't fire you, Colonel. Really, madam? He can, and he ain't. I'm the only one who can fire anybody around here, and I say you're working for me as long as you want. Mr. Flouts, I couldn't be happier. I couldn't be happier, sir. I, I, it was a disgrace, madam. Well, just forget about it. Come on up to the house, Bill. I want to speak to that fella. Uh, no, sir. I'd, uh, I'd rather not. Well, why not? Well, sir, I can't go on posing as what I'm not. Uh, and I, I don't wish to remain in service any longer, sir. I, uh, want to make something of myself. I would like to stand on my own two feet. This is a land, sir, of great opportunity. We're all a created equal. You're there, there. Now, that's just what I've been saying all along. You know that? Like Lincoln said that day at Gettysburg, he hit the nail right on the nose when he said, uh, uh... Well, what did he say? Well, that's funny. I, uh, uh, what, what did he say? I don't know. Well, he said, uh, uh, uh, uh, hey, Sam. Yeah? Yeah? Uh, what did Lincoln say that day at Gettysburg? I don't know, but I'll find out. Hey, Joel. Yeah? What did Lincoln say at Gettysburg? Shucks, I don't know. Harry, what did Lincoln say at Gettysburg? I don't know. I wasn't there. Hey, Pearly. Yeah? What did Lincoln say at Gettysburg? Well, you got me. Ask Hank, he reads the newspaper. What did he say, Hank? There's me. Hey, don't anybody know what Abe Lincoln said at Gettysburg? It's been seven years ago. It ain't no use, Hank. Nobody knows around here. Yeah, well, you're a fine bunch of Americans. Don't even know... Wait a minute. What's that you were saying, Ruggles? What, what, what, what, what was it, Bill? Go ahead, Colonel. Tell us how it goes. In the first four and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. We are now engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are now on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives, that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this, but in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far beyond our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, no longer remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us. That from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion. That we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom and that government of the people, by the people and for the people shall not perish from the earth. I knew it by heart once myself, a long time ago though. You know it's funny how easy Americans forget the things that are said by Americans. We pause for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. The curtain falls on act two of ruggles of red gap starring Charles Lawton, Zezu Pitts and Charlie Ruggles. In just a moment we present a very interesting intermission guest, but first I want to tell you something very interesting about our product. See this large box of luxe flakes I have here? How many cupfuls of flakes do you think it holds? Goodness, I don't know, Mr. Ruit. And you? Why, I think maybe five or six. Sorry, you're wrong. There are 12 cupfuls of delicate sheer flakes in one large box of luxe. That's enough to do your dishes for about 60 meals. Just a few flakes make so many suds, such rich, active suds too, that it's thrifty to use luxe for dishes. And you know how kind luxe is to your hands. So when you buy soap for your dishes, remember these three points. Luxe is speedy, it's thrifty, and it's kind to your hands. Get the generous large size box tomorrow. And now, here's Mr. DeMille with our guest. The man we're about to present comes very close to being in real life what Ruggles is in fiction. He's Herbert Peacock, who like Ruggles came here from England and devoted his life to attaining perfection as a gentleman's gentleman and butler. For the last 12 years, Mr. Peacock has been a butler in the home of Miss Anne Morgan, distinguished lady of one of our most important families. Going across the country to hear his comments on our play, we bring you Peacock of New York. Thank you, sir. Only a man in service, like myself, can realize what a tremendous shock it must have been to Ruggles to be forced to break the traditions of his time on a profession and actually sit at that French cafe with Mr. Flound. Although the butler would never, ever step the bounds where his master is concerned, he is indeed a gentleman to the staff he supervises. In England, for example, he gets his morning cup of tea brought to him in bed. My father was truly a gentleman's gentleman and was never known to do a hard day's work in his life. The two butler, wherever he is, sees all, knows all and makes no sign whatever. Sometimes that's difficult to do and sometimes it has his humor side. I have a friend in service who could never allow himself to smile when he overheard a dinner table joke. Of course, no excellent butler would. But he had another reason for saving his last for the pantry's ears alone. So he could take his false teeth out and laugh without disaster. Incidents like this made me realize that many household staffs in New York, although they live close to some of the most charming rooms in the world, have few places of their own in which to entertain their friends. So we organized the staff club, at which I am secretary, where we supply all a social club can offer and have a fine steward who battles for us. The club publishes a magazine, too, written by and for the staffs of homes and estates. We have many out-of-town members and an honorary member, one of whom we're very proud, Mr. Arthur Treacher, who plays butler's part in ever-so-many good movies. Here and Mr. Lawton can get excellent references from us if they ever needed them. But the butler's life isn't all clubs and recreation. His domain covers everything that happens in the butler's pantry, and that covers a lot. Wines and how to serve them, the making of salads and appetizers, the arrangements of flowers, and many, many other highly specialized functions. You know, Mr. DeMille, that butlers are a class who spend years in one household, and quite naturally we feel, as joggers did, the tug of parting with families we get to know and love. We become part of the household. But although a butler is definitely a servant, he tries to make his service so fine a thing, so exact a science, that he maintains not only his own self-respect, but the respect of his master and mistress as well. This very week begins my 13th year with Miss Morgan, so perhaps I'd better get back to my pantry and allow Ruggles to return to his work, too. Will that be all, sir? That will be all, Peacock. The service was excellent. Back in Hollywood, we are ready for Act 3 of Ruggles of Red Gap, starring Charles Lawton with Zezu Pitts and Charlie Ruggles. A blinkin's doctrine of equality, embedded deeply in Ruggles' soul, mingles strangely with his class consciousness. But acting upon Mrs. Judson's advice, he's preparing to open a restaurant called with impartial patriotism, the Anglo-American Grill. He's rented an empty store, where he and his helpmate labor earnestly to make it presentable. I can't move this. Oh, here I am, Mrs. Judson. You mustn't attempt to move these boxes. Allow me. It's certainly beginning to look like something. Yes, I'm not at all displeased, you know, not at all. It's going to be a large kitchen, isn't it? I guess I'll have plenty of room. I say let's hope fervently that we shall need it. Now, I suggest we put a few... Oh, Ruggles! A Ruggles! Are you here? Oh, Ruggles, I'm so glad I found you. I've been almost frantic. Is there something wrong, madam? Look, look at this letter. He's coming here, Ruggles, to Red Gap. He's coming to visit us. Who, madam? Why, Lord Bernstead. Who else? His, uh, lordship. Coming here. Yes. Isn't it glorious? Of course, I shall be simply frantic, arranging dinners, parties, receptions. But I'm depending on you, Ruggles. Oh, what are you doing now? Are you busy? Uh, yes, rather, madam. Oh, yes, yes, of course, yes. There's a chop suey joint you are going to open. Well, of course, that's our question now. Oh, but here I am, wasting time, and dear George is apt to pop in on us any moment. Oh, Ruggles, you don't know what this means. Ah, revoir! And don't forget, come to the house as soon as you can, Ruggles. Well, we'd better get on with our work. If you expect to open this place soon. Why, what's the matter? His lordship. He's coming to get me. You're not going to let him, are you? I suppose he needs me. You mean you're going to give up all this to keep him buttoned up? What has he ever done for you? Yes, he did let me down. But I'd be the first member of my family ever to let his family down. And I'd have you know, Mrs. Judson, that it isn't just keeping a man buttoned up. It's heredity and loyalty. Well, I call it downright foolishness. Why don't you practice what you've been preaching? First, I find out you're not a real colonel. I thought I felt it my duty to tell you. I didn't care. But now I find out you're not even a man. Maybe you'd better find out what you are. Oh, I feel like jumping in the river. Well, go ahead and jump. And jump in at the bend. It's deeper there. Oh, look, look. There's Lord Bernstead now. Isn't it just wonderful that Effie is giving this reception for him? And Effie to introduce him. Mr. Floud. Mr. Floud. Well, hello, hello, hello, Mrs. Judson. Come on in. Meet Lord Bernstead. Oh, no. I couldn't do that. Why not? Effie's got everybody in town here tonight. Mr. Floud. Is Mr. Ruggles here? Bill? No. No Effie wanted him, but he never showed up. Oh, Mr. Floud. Here, here, here. What is this? What's eating you? I haven't seen him all day. I think he jumped in the river. Huh? Now what would he want to do that for? On account of a woman. She treated him something awful. Well, who told you that? I was there. Oh, she said some terrible things to him. And now he's dead. Now wait a minute, wait a minute. Keep your head on now. We'll find him all right? Good evening, sir. Oh, it's a ghost. Well, good evening, Ruggles. The Lord. Good evening, the Lord. Where have you been? All right, Mrs. Judson. Might I have a word with you alone, Milord? Where have you been? Come on, come on, Mrs. Judson. Forget about it. I'll get you something to eat. Come on. Well, where has he been? I thought the Indians had got you, Ruggles. Glad to see you. I'm glad to see you, Milord. I'm sorry I wasn't at the station to meet you, Milord. Oh, that's all right. Come in here, Ruggles. I've had a terrible day, Milord. A terrific fight. Oh, were you outnumbered? An even match, Milord. No, Milord. I was fighting with Miss Elf. Did you win? A decisive victory, Milord. Starfella, I didn't think you had it in you. You'll find me rather a changed man, Milord. I don't know quite how to tell you, but... here in red gap... I am considered important. Quite a personage. Oh, yes, Colonel Ruggles, isn't it? Yes, Milord. Colonel Marmaduke Ruggles of the Arcostream Guards. Horrible mistake, Milord. If there should be a war. Yeah, yes, Milord. Nevertheless, Milord, when people think you are someone, you begin to think you are. That's what I've been fighting about with myself all day, Milord. Am I someone? Or am I not? Well, I only just got here, you see, so I wouldn't know. Oh, oh, I am someone, Milord. Well, let me be the first to congratulate you. How did you ever find it out? Ah, you recollect an Abraham Lincoln, Milord. Oh, yes, fellow with a cherry tree. No, no, no, Milord. No? No, no, Milord. Generate, Milord, I am genuinely sorry to have to tell you that I shall not be returning with you to London. I am remaining in red gap. Now, now, wait a minute, Ruggles. It's no use, Milord. My mind is made up. I am entering Trade, Milord, a restaurant. It's no good for you, Ruggles. Nevertheless, Milord, I intend to try. Yes, sir, Bill, quite a restaurant you got here. Thank you, sir, for any kind of you to come, sir. Would you have some more meat sauce, sir? Yeah, yeah, thanks. Oh, Ruggles, oh, where is Lord Bernstead? I don't know, madam. Is he coming? I don't know, madam, I think not. Well, I can't say I blame him. I beg pardon, Mr. Jackson. I said I can't say I blame him. Oh, quite so, sir. Would you try a little of our meat sauce, sir? Won't make this steak any more tender by any chance. No, no, never mind, never mind. I'll eat when I get home. Take it away. Oh, yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Ruggles, did Lord Bernstead arrive? No. Oh, dear. Why, what's the matter with that steak? Nothing's the matter with it. What happened? I suppose it's wrong to hate anybody, but I dislike Bill Knapp Jackson very much. Now, now sit down, Ruggles. I'm going to get you something for your nerves. My nerves are quite all right, quite all right. Oh, Ruggles, everything must go off well tonight. It means so much. Oh, I better return to my guests. Your coffee, madam. Oh, thank you, Ruggles. Yeah, how's everything going, Bill? It's a little difficult to say yet, sir. Your coffee, sir. Yeah, thanks. Your coffee, Mr. Jackson. I told you I wanted nothing. Now take it away. Bill Knapp. I thought it was purely an accident. I'm sorry you did that, sir. You're insulting, Ruggles. I beg your pardon, but you were insulting, sir. It's nice to have enough from you. You boot polisher. Perhaps you'd like me to tell your clientele just exactly what you are. It's quite all right. I've not forgotten what I am. Nor have I forgotten that I'm proprietor of this place. As proprietor of this place, I'm asking you to leave, sir. What? I'm asking you to leave. Now, if I go, all the real people will leave with me. If my success depends upon Cajun to people like you, sir. Well, all I can say is, well, all I can say is, Mr. Bell Knapp, Jack... All right, come here! Let go of me! Let go of me! Come on. It's all right. It's all right, sir. It's all right, sir. It's all right, sir. Now, here's the door. Now! Well, you seem in pretty good shape, Ruggles. Well, Lord, it's, uh... Most unfortunate you had to be a witness to, uh, this humiliating incident. In trouble, Ruggles. Yes, my lord. Excuse me, my lord. I have something of vital importance to attend to in the kitchen. Well, certainly, certainly. Ladies and gentlemen! It can't be helped. I have something to tell you about. As of Mr. Ruggles. I have no... Oh, Ruggles, I heard you. Sir, sir, I'm a failure. Oh, no, don't say that. Perhaps I believed a little too strongly in the words of your Mr. Lincoln. No, you'll see. It'll all come out right. You can go somewhere else and try again. Just don't worry, that's all. You know, I had plans, but it will cost... I have no right to speak about them now. Oh, yes. Yes, you have. I guess if I can make good meat sauce and red gap, I can make it anywhere. Mrs. Judson, I've never met a woman for whom I've had a greater respect than you. Oh, Mr. Ruggles. I say, listen. Do you hear that? They're singing to his lordship. They like him, don't they? Hey, Bill, come on out here. Yes, sir. I'm very fond of him, too, sir. He's a jolly good fellow. He's a jolly good fellow. He's a jolly good fellow. Wish nobody can deny. And so say all of us. And so say all of us. Oh, he's a jolly good fellow. Bravo. Well, wait a minute. Were you all horse thief? What are you applauding for? They're singing it to you. Yeah, sure, for you. Hey, boys, who's all right? Ruggles is all right. My... My friends. God bless you all. He's heard the last act of Ruggles of Red Gap, starring Charles Lawton. In a moment, our star will be back to take his bow. You know, sometimes it's better to let other people say things for you. That's why I want you to hear what three women have to say about Lux Flakes. Women, just like you and your neighbors. Mrs. A.E. Simington of Long Island says... A big box of Lux does my dishes for 60 meals and takes away the drudgery of dishwashing. Mrs. John B. Deegan of New York says... About a penny's worth of Lux does my dishes for a day and it helps my hands stay soft and smooth. Another New York woman, Mrs. B.W. Burr, says... It's foolish to bother with soaps that are slow and hard on hands when Lux is so thrifty for dishes. It takes so little to make a pan full of suds. Use Lux for dishes because Lux is speedy, it's thrifty, and it's kind to your hands. Women have discovered the amazing difference between Lux Flakes and harsh kitchen soaps. Lux has none of the added alkali you find in harsh soaps. Nothing to sting and irritate your skin. It helps your hands stay soft and smooth. And Lux is thrifty. A penny's worth does your dishes for a whole day. If the water is hard, a little extra Lux softens the water and gives you an abundance of suds. So the smart thing, the thrifty thing to do is use Lux for your dishes every day via the generous large-sized box of Lux Flakes. Mr. DeMille, now we hear our star on a part that he's never played on the air before, that of Charles Lawton. I believe it's been nearly four years, Charles, since you were last in the United States. It's been about four DeMille pictures ago, as they reckon time in this place. I wouldn't count on that as a calendar. Motion pictures depend on inspiration and actors. No, CB, these actors can get very temperamental sometimes, can't they? Candidly, old boys, one produces to another. If we could find some way to make these pictures without actors, it should be a very much more profitable enterprise. I've heard that you've been producing pictures as well as acting in them. How does it feel to be on the other side of the contract? Oh, CB, it's a marvellous feeling when the picture's unscheduled and everything's going smoothly. Then, of course, there are the other times. And I understand now why many producers are inclined to lose their hair. You've had excellent training for a producer, Charles. Losing my hair? Oh, no, being an actor first. Now, this matter of hiring yourself as an actor to yourself as a producer has its problems. I never quite certain whether I should pay myself a big seller, a far more than I'm worth, and risk a loss as a producer, or pay myself low wages and perhaps make a profit. How can you lose? Oh, I could probably find a way. But now that I'm doing a little producing, if you ever want a job as an actor, CB, just drop over and see me. My advice as a producer, Charles, is to stay clear of the mill. Confidentially, his acting might be just a bit dated. Oh, I don't know, CB. I've seen you give us well-performance in an office. Seriously, though, I've enjoyed working with you in my first radio play in this country, just as much as I enjoyed our association six years ago at Paramount Studios, CB, and that was something. Good night. Good night, Mr. Lachman. We hope your first performance here will be followed by many more. Charlie Ruggles appeared through courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor Studio and will be seen in their new film, Balalaika. Says who pits next picture as the Walter Wainter production, eternally yours. Now, Mr. DeMille. As producer of the Lux Radio Theatre, it's my duty each week at this time to tell you about the stars and play for the following week. Tonight I make a different kind of announcement. I must say goodbye, not just for myself, but for all of us who bring you the Lux Radio Theatre. Or we'll be back with you on September 11th. And that's not so far away. At least once every year, I think I owe you a little accounting, since you, in fact, are partners in our enterprise, your co-directors in the Lux Radio Theatre, so the 30 people who form our permanent staff and who work throughout the year to make the Lux Radio Theatre what you want it to be, wish to express through me their appreciation of your approval of this theatre, as evidenced by the vast number of your letters and your loyal purchase of Lux Flakes and Lux Toilet soap. Your support has made this theatre the largest the world has ever known. Check-ups show that an average of over 15 million listeners tuned in each week during the past year, not counting the great number of our Canadian friends. Let's take a moment to picture this audience. You in the great cities hear us, and so do you whose homes are in those remote villages where the living theatre has never penetrated. You've written us from the cabins of ships at sea and from snow-covered cabins locked away from civilization by storms and distance. Letters have come from hospitals, from elderly people, from invalids, telling us what special meaning the Lux Radio Theatre has for them, what help it's brought them. We assure you that we cherish these messages. But such credit as this theatre may have won since last summer in presenting nearly half a hundred plays involving 1,139 performers does not belong to us alone. With gratitude, we pass it on to you, to whom this theatre really belongs, to you families who use Lux Flakes and Lux Toilet Soap. Between now and September 11, we'll be working on the most ambitious schedule of plays and talent in our history, guided by the great number of comments and requests that you've sent in. Being human, we're also going to try to have a good time. Our real vacation will come not only from our sponsors, but from you. Because we know that you won't forget us during this absence from the air, that you'll remember the Lux Radio Theatre by keeping Lux Toilet Soap and Lux Flakes in your homes. They're products of high character. In them is reflected the same high standard of uncompromising quality that your loyalty has brought our theatre. As I say goodbye, I feel as if I'm standing on the peak of a great mountain, which we've climbed together since this theatre first came to the air in October 1934. The glorious panorama that I see is the most thrilling experience that can come to man. Its name is Friendship. Wherever you may be on this continent, you have my sincere wishes for a summer of health and happiness. Until September 11th, this is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night and goodbye to you from Hollywood. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.