 Ever wonder why the punchline to every psychology joke always has something to do with either our childhoods or our issues with our parents or why people lying on a therapist's couch tend to answer the question. So tell me about your problem with it all began when I was little. It's because on some level, we all intuitively understand that our childhood experiences play a big role in shaping who we are and what we believe about others, ourselves and the world around us. That's why so much of psychology research, theories and psychotherapy focuses on understanding the impact early childhood experiences have on a person. One particular line of research in the field focuses on adverse child experiences and the therapy built on these studies known as psychodynamic approaches aims to ameliorate the detrimental impact it can have on us even well into adulthood. The US Children's Bureau defines adverse childhood experiences or ACEs as traumatic events that occur during childhood, such as abuse, neglect, illness, injury, bullying or peer victimization. The long-term effects of such experiences can manifest either physically, psychologically or behaviorally. Surveys show that children who were victims of emotional abuse often grow up to have overall poor health, receive lower education are more likely to suffer from poverty, weight gain, obesity and significant psychological stress. But what about their story beyond these numbers? One or other important but often overlooked ways the abuse still lingers and hurts them in the present. Let's dive even deeper into how a childhood emotional abuse affects you even in adulthood. Number one, it makes you anxiously attached. Ever heard about attachment theory? Pioneered by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment theory posits that there are generally two kinds of attachment styles we develop as a result of our early experiences with our parents or caregivers. That is, secure attachment and insecure or anxious attachment. Anxious attachment is then categorized as either preoccupied when you have a positive view of others but a negative view of yourself leading to self-doubt and security and cleanness. Dismissive, when you have a positive view of yourself but a negative view of others which makes you distant and overly self-reliant or fearful disorganized, the attachment style of those you have experienced abuse. People with a fearful disorganized attachment style tend to be very wary and guarded around others as well as being extremely sensitive to rejection, conflict and abandonment. And as adults, they often struggle to form lasting positive relationships as a result of their unresolved attachment related trauma which brings us to our next point. Number two, it stunts your emotional development. Being emotionally abused as a child stunts your emotional development because it teaches you all the wrong things about life. Instead of learning important skills like emotion regulation, self-awareness and relationship management. Victims of emotional abuse often grow up to develop issues such as emotional codependency, self-blame and social isolation. Number three, it leads to self-destructive patterns. When someone comes from a home that fails to provide them with a sense of safety and security, important to every child's development, more likely than not that child will grow up to develop self-destructive patterns and maladaptive coping mechanisms instead. According to a meta-survey done by the Mental Health Center of Destination Hope, these can manifest in a number of ways such as in their behaviors, developing addictions, delinquencies, suicidal tendencies or their thought patterns, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety. Number four, it compromises your quality of life. Taking all of the things we've talked about into account, it should come as no surprise then that many researchers have found that the experience of childhood emotional abuse is associated with poorer quality of life. Thankfully, many studies have also highlighted that a lot of victims of abuse can and do recover, thriving later in life, despite their adverse childhood experiences. The trouble is most of them, unfortunately, have to struggle to get there. Number five, it puts you at higher risk of mental health problems. Last but certainly not least, childhood emotional abuse can continue to haunt us even years afterwards by putting us at higher risk of developing certain mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. All forms of child abuse have also been found to be strongly correlated with PTSD, substance abuse and suicide. If you are struggling with your experiences of childhood emotional abuse, know that help is available. The best thing you can do for yourself is to reach out to a mental health care professional today and begin healing from the pain of your past. Consider this the first day of your journey towards mental wellness, recovery and self-discovery. What's one way you will no longer let your childhood emotional abuse affect you?