 Hello everyone, welcome to another Nox Fiber Live video and in this one we're going to be talking about how you know that you were with or are with a narcissist because sometimes it can be difficult to tell. You don't always know what you're getting into, what you're dealing with, you're not always sure but what happens is with narcissists what they do is they pull you into their little fun house and this fun house is full of tricks and games. It's like an amusement or entertainment facility and as I said it has various tricks and games that are intended to surprise challenge and amuse you. So essentially it is a roller coaster. It's like a thrill ride at an amusement park. Because it has ups and downs, it has twists and turns and it's very inconsistent. It's unpredictable. You never know what is going to come next but it's also like an obstacle course because you have to jump through hoops, you have to do certain things, certain complicated actions and procedures, things that are unpleasant and often annoying just to please them so that you can get what you want. But it wasn't like that in the beginning because when you first met them they made it look like it was fun. But when you think about it that's all it really is when you're dealing with a narcissist. It is just fun and nothing more. But along with the fun comes a lot of confusion because in this fun house that they've pulled you into there are a lot of different rooms and passageways. You may even find some moving floors, distorted mirrors and it makes it very difficult for you to find your way out and that's when the fun ends because you want to go. You want the games to stop but now you can't find your way out because this is what they do when they know that they've gotten you addicted to them and even at this point you may not know who you're actually dealing with because they're very good at imitating, mirroring other people. So you may find that at this point they will play the victim. They will act like you're doing something to them. They'll usually project whatever they're doing to you. They will accuse you of doing that because that's how they blend in. That's how they stay under the radar undetected because they don't want to bring too much attention to what they're doing to you because they're fully aware they already know that what they're doing is not normal. They know that it is not socially acceptable and they also know that most people would not agree to that if they knew exactly what it was. So of course they've got to hide it. They've got to uphold this disguise about who they really are and what they're trying to do to you. So they put on this act, this performance so that their manipulation is still effective on you because of course for them to pull you into it they've got to make it fun and exciting in the beginning and they also have to leave you longing and yearning for something more in the future. To do that they use future faking. They give you this detailed vision of the future because that is how they create bonding and connection. That's how they keep you addicted by making the kinds of future promises that they know you want to hear and as an example that could be something like marriage or having children or even just taking a trip together they will use future faking. They will use their words to create these thoughts and ideas of future plans but they will always hold you off. They will always deliberately delay doing it. It's not just something where they say it and then you just go and do it. They will resist, they will pull back and they will prevent you from advancing or progressing and they will only give you breadcrumbs, tiny morsels, limited amounts of entertainment but they will lead you to believe that at some point in the future something is coming. You've just got to hold on, you've just got to wait just a little bit longer because everything's so unpredictable. You never know what's going to happen next. There's all these twists and turns, so many surprising changes, so many frequent changes of direction so you never know what's going to happen next. All you know is that you've met this person who is using money or their physical appearance to seduce you, to keep you locked in, to keep you stuck in this world that they have created for you which has now become a very difficult and confusing situation because it's so unpredictable, there's so many twists and turns, they got you caught up in it by giving you a little something of what you like because in the beginning they stand out by doing things that most people wouldn't do. They exceeded your expectations, they did more than what you desired from them and the reason why they did that is because they wanted to leave an imprint, they wanted to impact on you and they wanted it to be strong and permanent enough so that it would have a powerful effect on you and in the beginning you may have liked that, you may have enjoyed the effort that they made but that's only because you didn't realize that you're being pulled into the fun house where there is a lack of consistency and predictability because that's how you really know that you're dealing with a narcissist, there will be a lack of consistency and predictability. In the beginning it's fun, they're not really doing anything bad to you and then when things finally change you don't even see it initially but as time goes by they stop doing the things that you initially liked, time goes by and they forget your birthday, they don't take you on trips but in the beginning they put in so much effort and they made it seem like it was real and that is what got you dragged into this, that is what got you lost in their world and then once they've got you locked in it, they switch up on you, they clear out, they depart, they leave you in there all on your own after they created the shared fantasy for you, they made you believe that they were about something, something that you desired, something that you wanted but then they left you there on your own and then as time went by they started to demand things from you, they started to demand things that what they weren't even given to you, now suddenly they want all of your love, loyalty and devotion but they don't want to commit to you, they just want you to hand your soul over to them and you never expected it to be like that, if you knew it was going to be like that then you never would have gotten involved with them in the first place so now you went out, you want to leave because you realize that things aren't as they appear but then this is when they change up on you again because once you've got one foot out the door that's when they love you the most, that's when they bring back the false character because they can see that they are frightening you, they can see that you see that something is not right because they already know that what they're doing, their behaviors, their behaviors are disagreeable and unpleasant, they know that it made you want to pull away so now they want to pull you back and they will do that by bringing back the false character by trying to make you feel comfortable again by giving you another taste of what made you attracted to them, what made you to desire them in the first place but this is how you know, this is how you know that you're dating a narcissist because it's marked by the inconsistency and the unpredictability, it's like one minute they're there, one minute they're not, they're constantly appearing and disappearing, they're hot and cold and you just never know where you stand with them because they love you one minute and then they hit you the next but they got you pulled into it because in the beginning it was fun and maybe at the time you didn't have much else to do so you had a good time, you had fun and that's what left that imprint, that's what left an impact on you because although they were being fake, for you it was real but even though it was real for you, you've got to recognize that they had an agenda, they had different motives to you and those motives are very different to who they were pretending to be because that's who they really are, they're full of problems and they were trying to play you, they were trying to engage with you for enjoyment and recreation rather than for a serious or practical purpose, they knowingly and intentionally used your emotions in order to get validation from you and that is why if you look at it they dealt with you in a way that lacked seriousness, good sense and any deeper meaning or purpose because all they wanted was you all to themselves even while they were mistreating you and that is how you should know that there is no future with them because you've got to look at it like this even though they made it that far with you, they still ended up mistreating you, they still messed it up in the end and the reason why they messed it up is because they're unable to control their actions, they have poor impulse control and that is why it results in this endless pattern of behavior, that is why it will always produce the same results in the end no matter who they're dealing with, it will always be the same but yeah that's how you know who and what you were dealing with because I know many of you, you have the cognitive dissonance, you've got these two conflicting beliefs, you remember who they were in the beginning as you compare that to who they are now and you're just looking at it like so which person are they, are they Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde, are they the good cop or the bad cop and as soon as you start thinking like that that should tell you exactly what you're dealing with just by having that confusion by not knowing what it is and thereby recognizing that lack of consistency and predictability, that should tell you everything that you need to know so yeah I just wanted to leave this message for you today for those of you who are unsure or you don't know if they were this real genuine person who wanted what you wanted they wanted a relationship, they wanted a future whatever it was or if you were being played, if you were being deceived and that's really all it is that's how you know because if you are being played, if you are being deceived then you get that inconsistency, that unpredictability where it's like they love you one minute and then they hate you the next and then once you start to figure things out and you've got one foot out the door that's when they love you the most that's when they bring back the false character they try to make you feel comfortable again so that's how you know and I hope this video was helpful if it was please give it a thumbs up down below share your thoughts in the comments, subscribe, if you'd like to book on what I want with me you can do that from my website it is naksviver.co.uk