 Yeah, I was talking to you. Hi. Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. I was only three feet tall when I got the call, so short notice. Get it? I'm glad you had me to come into addition for the role of Johnny Cage in the hit upcoming Mortal Kombat film MK for short as I call it, the first of my kind to do so. But I'm gonna be trying out for a bevy of roles in the MK universe. I think when all is said and done, I'll win you over with my performance and we will possibly even form a friendship together. It's another it's a Mortal Kombat thing. Again, you're smart. You get it. You get it. Maybe not you, but as you can see I'm in the traditional scorpion fighting pose just ready to strike ready to pounce. I notice the standard typical dude bro douchebag over by the snack table spear hook into a skull. Brains are all over the ground. What? You're mad about the name calling? Chill out sub zero. You're fine. I was told I was gonna be able to rehearse some of the lines with the actress playing Sonya Blade. So if she could get over here and finish me. That would be great. Scorpion teleport punch coming at ya. Holy s***. Okay, that legit freaked me out. I have no idea what just happened there. For the next few minutes I'm going to mesmerize you with the few of the iconic moves from the Mortal Kombat franchise set to the theme song performed by me. Hey, No. I'm not familiar, is that a... is that a Mortal Kombat spinoff? Sonya, it's me, your best friend Jax. If you think these metal arms are impressive, you should see what's happening downstairs. With the writing department scratching the old noodle on how to handle the fatalities, they can give old Adam a call. I'm right here, old Adam Bear is ready to go. I've actually workshopped a couple of those in my free time. Okay, so if it's a male opponent and they finish him, comes up, you just, whoosh, whoosh. Grab both balls individually and look right into the guy's eyes and just, yaaah! Whoosh! Whoosh! And you got them both in the hands and you just go, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. And you spit the balls into both their eyes, blinding the guys, like blowing through the eye sockets. And he just falls backwards, at which point you zip down your pants and piss all over him. That's one. No offense, sweetie, but I assume the role for Sonya Blade is going to go back to the masterful performance by Ronda Rousey, who voice acted for her in the last Mortal Kombat game. Two, I believe, thunderous applause from the community. If she is busy, I suppose we could ask Gina Carino. I think she's pretty open these days, has a pretty free sketch. Another potential fatality is actually to bring back animalities, you know, how well that worked out in Mortal Kombat 2, that hit the big screen. It was just a beautiful film, Mortal Kombat Annihilation. I don't think we can even top that. I don't know why we're trying, but anyway, huge fan of that, huge fan of that one. Animality, the person turns into a praying mantis, has intercourse with the other person, and then bites the head off, as the praying mantis does. The intercourse portion I think should be just as graphic as the beheading, if not more so. I'd really like it to be uncomfortable for all parties involved, not just the audience, but the director, the actors for sure, camera crew, really everybody and anybody that sees it. The final fatality I have is actually a babality, the person gets turned into a baby, which is cute and fun, but then it gets back into a fatality, because they take the baby, put it up for adoption. We do a whole scene in the film that maybe takes like 20 minutes, where we kind of follow this baby's life as the kid gets older, and eventually becomes a participant in Mortal Kombat himself or herself, and they're just absolutely eviscerated, just mauled. This is basically a full other movie. Or it's just a baby that gets put up for adoption, is instantly adopted, and then it becomes a dumpster baby. They just throw it away, they decide they don't want it. So there's a few options we can do for this fatality, which I think would really subvert to expectations. Sonya Actress, if you want to stick around after this is all said and done and you like what you see, which let's be honest, I think you do, why don't we head on over to your place, since I am currently living out of my car, and see how the night shakes out. So we have a couple drinks, watch a movie, order a zah, and we could possibly try to make a bay ballad-y together, and she's leaving. Pretty much nailed this, so whatever role you're thinking of casting me for, potentially multiple roles, feel free to just give a old rap on my car window, that's where I'll be staying for the foreseeable future. I'd say you could call me, but by the time I got here, my phone was taken by a junkyard dog. We have kind of a little bit of a sandlot scenario taking shape, where I have to try to get the phone back from the beast on the other side of the fence. But in this case, instead of the friendly elderly black man, James Earl Jones, we have a scary beyond all reason white homeless man with missing teeth and a lot of tattoos and battle scars. He's seen some shit, he's seen a lot, okay?