 Hey psyched goers, welcome back to our channel. Each of your comments, likes, and shares help support this channel and our goal to spread awareness about mental health and psychology. You help us make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. So thanks for the support. Now onto the video. One of the most damaging fears to many is the fear of abandonment. A form of anxiety. A fear of abandonment often starts to form in childhood for those who have it. Usually this fear begins when one has experienced some sort of trauma or loss already. Thus developing a fear from an already traumatic loss. Each individual's experience is different. With some mental health experts theorizing that the fear of abandonment can arise due to challenges with past relationships, troubling social and life experiences, or interruptions in one's development of certain cognitive and emotional capacities. So do you suspect you may have a fear of abandonment? Here are six telltale signs that you may. Number one. You attach too quickly. You've just met the person of your dreams. There are everything you ever wanted. Or so you think. It is after all the first date. You start to get a bit anxious after your date though. What if they meet someone else? What if they decide to date them instead? So you want to make things official. You ask them to be your significant other. But you've barely scratched the surface of getting to know each other. Those with a fear of abandonment often want to move things faster because they're afraid they'll lose that special someone to someone else they admire more. Even if the person you desire is unavailable, you can get attached to them too quickly. It's instead best to take a moment and give yourself some time to think over how well you know this person and if it feels comfortable and natural moving to the next stage. Number two. You don't fully commit to relationships. Moving to the next stage in a relationship is one thing, but fully committing is an entirely different thing. You and your partner are finally a couple. Everything seems to be going well until they want you to meet their parents. Oh boy. It can be hard for you to show you are committed long-term. You often resist discussing things such as meeting your partner's parents, moving in together, or simply talking about the future with your partner. These topics can seem scary in your view. Or you simply don't think they're important right now. But avoiding too long may key into your partner that you don't view your relationship as serious. Number three. You're a people pleaser. Being kind to others is a great thing. It's thoughtful to do someone a favor or think of their needs or wants over yours sometimes. But if you only think of their wants over yours, it's not always a good thing. Always aiming to please your partner no matter your needs can lead to weak personal boundaries. You fear that if you don't fulfill every wish of theirs, they will not care for you and move on to someone else. Common signs in this range include engaging in unwanted sex, which is more common in women and staying in an unhealthy relationship. You may soon find yourself going along with whatever your partner wants if this continues, placing your needs second. Number four. You struggle with emotional intimacy. You may call yourself a pro with the physical realm of relationships, but emotional intimacy is a fear in and of itself for you. You keep your guard up as a defense from any chance at being vulnerable with your partner. Perhaps it's an insecurity that keeps you from opening up. Or maybe you've developed an idea that they may leave you if they knew the truth or the real you. But all relationships need vulnerability and trust. To not trust your partner is to not engage in a serious relationship You may try to compensate for this lack of emotional intimacy by simply focusing on the physical aspect but your partner is likely to take notice that you're not being real with them and without the emotional side of relationships they can never grow for the better. Number five. You look for flaws in your partner. You're on the second date but this time you may be second guessing how you really feel about this person. You can't help but notice their flaws. I mean everyone has flaws, they're normal, right? But no, not for you. It's all you notice. They chew too loud, they don't like the same music as you. They're a cat person, you're a dog lover. These may be the types of flaws that start to catch your attention but then you'll begin to notice the more pressing flaws in your mind. You decide to ignore everything you enjoyed about them and focus only on the bad nitpicking your way to relationship doom. Because of your fear of abandonment you tell them they were never right for you in the first place. When in fact you never gave it a chance in the first place. You decide the small flaws and judgments outweighed everything that made you like them. Number six. You experience separation anxiety. Your partner decides to go out with their friends after work. It will be a great evening out and they're deeply excited. But why can't you tag along too? You may think don't they think I'm fun too? The issues are needed in every relationship so you try to relax knowing your partner will have an enjoyable evening with their friends. But you can't. When you're not around your partner it's the absolute worst. In fact it's pure torture. You can't help but feel anxious as you ruminate on where they are. Who are they with? Are they with that slime ball Billy? What would he be doing there? Are they even with their friends at all? What are they even doing? You can't tell them for the fourth time. And don't even get me started on the texts. Were their friends night out? You're in the hundreds when it comes to just checking in texts. Well, maybe not hundreds. Dozens? That's still a lot. So do you have these signs? If you do possess a fear of abandonment all is not lost. You can grow into trusting and taming that fear with practice. Try keeping a journal of all of your feelings, and thoughts. No seriously, expressing these feelings by writing them down is one step to vulnerability and understanding your emotions. Recognize these feelings, fears and emotions. Understand you have them. Speak them aloud to someone. Write them down. And then you can begin to aim for change for the better. How? Reach out and open up to someone. Sometimes vulnerability and trust cannot put all of your energy into one partner. It's important to build a community first. Socializing and trusting multiple friends can help. And soon you'll realize that fear of yours is not as strong as it once was before. Which is something to be happy about. Go ahead. Tell your partner. Do you relate to any of these signs? Which ones? If so, what steps will you take to overcome this fear? And do you have any interesting relationship stories to share? Feel free to express them in the comments below. If you found this video helpful, don't forget to click the like button and share this video with someone who might need it. Subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more content like this. And as always, thanks for watching.