 Okay, so I wanna share something with you today. Roughly about almost one half of the women who reach out to me seeking dating and relationship advice are in a relationship with a man and they want some perspective on whether or not they should invest in this particular relationship. And it got me thinking about something that relates to those clients of mine who are single and looking for love. So again, I'd say roughly half are about in a relationship and they want some advice about a guy and the other half are seeking that elusive emotionally available man. So I wrote this, I had an idea for a blog and it would read like this. Do I make it work with a broken man or do I look for the elusive, emotionally healthy man? And it seems to me these days when it comes to dating, mating, relating and I recently shared this, it's like going shopping at Nordstroms. And what I mean to say is you go shopping for clothes and you might try on various different shirts, different pants, different shoes, that sort of thing. You're trying on different clothes and shoes of clothing just like the way dating is. You go on the dating apps and you swipe on a few people and maybe you meet them in person. And what happens is with some people they actually leave the store purchasing something and how I'm relating that to dating and relationships is they enter into a relationship with someone. Unfortunately, what happens these days oftentimes those clothes get overused, worn out, tired kind of looking kind of ratty. And then what happens is people go back and return the clothes to Nordstroms because Nordstroms will accept anything that you worn. In fact, Nordstroms will accept clothes from another department store. In fact, I kind of wonder if the Nordstroms model is contributing to the disposable nature of relationships today. And that's really what I was leaning into for a moment, the disposable nature of relationships today. I truly believe that one of the fundamental problems in the dating, mating or relating realm, especially for those folks in their 40s and beyond is a lack of consciousness, a lack of understanding, a lack of intentionality when it comes to choosing someone you're going to invest time in. This is why I've created a private coaching program. And if you need some support with that, look at the link right here to check out a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. And by the way, all the things I list are in the description below. So we're gonna talk about those five glaring red flags to spot in a man so you don't invest time in a potentially broken man. And I want everyone to think about this for a moment. The vast majority of people that are over 40, 45 years old that are actively in the dating marketplace are divorced. So it seemed like roughly 75% roughly, and that's anecdotal on my part, but I would say that's relatively a close number. And so what that means is they were in a relationship, they got married, they thought most of them probably thought they were deliriously in love and something about that relationship didn't work out. So you know what's interesting to me? It seems like people who literally come off divorce completely forget that there was a problem in their past relationship and they think that by meeting someone new and especially if they have amazing chemistry with this person, that somehow it's going to magically work out because love can magically work out problems in a relationship. Isn't that fascinating? Think about it. I know I thought that to myself if I found someone I had amazing chemistry with that's all I needed to actually explore a deeper relationship with someone and that would negate all of the problems that happened in my previous relationship or my marriage and or this person's previous relationship or marriage. Isn't it fascinating how few people actually do personal development work on themselves and actually do a deep healing when they come off a significant relationship that didn't work out. And sadly these days you could have a very short lived relationship. It could be one of two, three, four, five months and it could leave a huge scar on a person. That's right. This happens frequently. A very short lived relationship can leave a scar on someone. And what surprises me now that I've studied relationships, I've read the relationship books. By the way, there's a link below to Jonathan recommend books in the description. All the books I recommend in my videos are in the description. And why I'm sharing this with you is it's time for everyone to fucking pull their head out of their ass. Ah, there I said it, the F word. They've got to pull their head out of their ass. And what I mean to say is not go in naively, not go in like a fantasy. And women in particular, at least my observation when it comes to women is they oftentimes fantasize about relationships instead of truly understanding the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. And this is why I'm a big proponent of studying successful marriages, successful marriages. Why? Because when you understand what it takes to create a successful marriage and also what causes most of the divorces in relationships, you're better prepared to actually pursue a relationship with someone in the future. This is why I continually recommend the work of the Gottmans. This is John Gottman books, the seven principles of making marriage work. And why I recommend this book, amongst others, is because when you can see what it takes to be in a healthy, happy relationship and what you can see where the pitfalls are, those five glaring red flags we're gonna talk about in a moment, you will be better prepared to not invest time with the wrong person. And it's interesting because my girlfriend recently turned me on to a book that she read after her divorce. She read some time ago. She turned me on to a book and I've been reading it lately and I find it fascinating and we're gonna talk about this in a moment. The book is called Making Your Second Marriage, a First Class Success. Now here's the thing. I know many of you may not want to get remarried, that's okay, but ultimately, if you wanna be in a fully committed relationship, and by the way, my audience, look it, if you're seeking a casual relationship, I'm not the coach for you. I'm here to promote partnership with two people and the long-term commitment with one another. If you're simply, if you're not capable of leaning into partnership, if you're not interested in a partnership type relationship, then my channel isn't the right place for you. Go follow those other dating coaches that teach you the tricks and tips on how to land an emotionally dysfunctional guy because there are plenty of emotionally dysfunctional people out there and there's plenty of really crappy dating advice to trigger the wounds of those emotionally unhealthy people to temporarily chase you and then you're left in another dysfunctional relationship and it's interesting to me. And I wanna share this with everyone. The number one emotional health issue most people are faced with today is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. That's right, I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. And nothing triggers this, these wounds, like the dating, I'm laughing only in the sense is the dating, mating or relating process triggers these wounds like nobody's business because when you're single, you're not gonna feel those wounds to the same degree when you've experienced one ending after another ending after another ending and God forbid you're with somebody who is toxic in your life or someone who's abusive or narcissistic or whatnot, those can leave deep scars. So today we're gonna spend time looking at ways to avoid entering in relationship with maybe the wrong person because what you don't wanna do as I said in the beginning of this broadcast is spend time trying to fix a broken person and I'd much rather you invest time and again, if you wanna put the odds in your favor finding that elusive emotionally available man, again, check out the link right here to schedule a call with me because that's my area of expertise. Okay, so let's talk about the five glaring red flags. Folks, the first two I have to be on the top of your list because these days when I, as I said, 75% of singles who are actively dating are divorced. So guess what? This means the minute you start a relationship with someone you're buying the package of their past life and you have to be looking at these first two very carefully. Number one, the status and relationship with their ex spouse the status and relationship with their ex spouse. Now, some of you are dating people who aren't even divorced, okay? And given that 85 to 95, 90% of divorces are incredibly contentious and toxic. You, if you're dating a divorced man, someone who is going through a divorce or is divorced, you have a greater chance of ending up with somebody who has a toxic ex in their life or maybe they're the toxic person to their ex. So it's really incumbent upon you to ask the deeper questions very early on about the status of their ex spouse. And in addition, this is the number two is the status with their children. Folks, I wanna share something with you. I've observed with a lot of men in particular. This is true for women as well. It's just a reversed in gender. Men, particularly who have daughters oftentimes go through a guilt factor when they're going through divorce and they can put their daughters up on a pedestal. In fact, they, and this happens frequently. Now I'm not saying 100% of the time, I'm not even saying 80 or 70% of the time, but enough of it. And I'm sure some of you have experienced this where they put their daughter or daughters up on a pedestal. And what happens is you end up being second or third fiddle in the relationship. This is why be, and listen, women do this with their sons and men do this with their daughters. Now this isn't an absolute, but I highly recommend asking those deeper questions about their relationship with their children, but here's the tricky part. They can seem like a completely devoted parent. In fact, many parents on their dating apps put that their children are their priority. Be careful, that's a red flag, because while children are incredibly important, I'm here to say as a parent, and most of you know, I lost a child, okay? You know, I lost a child. In fact, I went through a lot of emotional gut wrenching experiences during the first couple of years after Connor passed away. So I'm here to say that, you know, as a parent, I recognize the value and importance of children. I'm also here to say children should never be much more, listen, it's a child, your new relationship, your family, your professional life, your health. These are all important things in your life. Be careful of the person who puts children at the top of the list, and they treat their children above importance. That's right, above importance. They put them up on a pedestal. That is a glaring red flag. And so even the person that seems like they're a devoted parent could actually be something that caused contention in your relationship. Has anyone experienced this? Please post a comment below. I'd like to get your perspective on this if you've experienced that man who put their children, particularly their daughters on such of a pedestal that they actually treated you like a second class citizen. And for those of you that experienced that, I wanna reach in through the camera and give you a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug because nothing is worse than feeling like your second fiddle in a relationship. And that's a glaring red flag you should be paying attention to. Number three, his professional status in his life, let's face it, I know personally I went through, after going through a divorce, I lost my quarter million dollar a year insurance job. I went through a professional, I went through professional chaos and the emotional effects of one, especially for men, their professional life oftentimes ends up being their identity. And I'm saying this is that if someone's professional life is in some sort of key role, if there's a life is in some sort of chaos, if there's contention going on in his work life or his professional life, folks, if the ground underneath a man is not solid, he could never fully invest in a relationship. Let me repeat that, if the ground underneath them doesn't feel solid is very difficult to fully invest in a relationship. And then you might be asking, why do men enter into relationships if the ground underneath them isn't solid? Because the reality is every human being is craving companionship, connection and sex. That's right, most every human being yourself included is desiring of companionship, connection and sex. But there's a fourth piece that's missing with these people that don't have the ground underneath them solid and that's their capacity to be in a committed relationship. That's right, this is why we now see dating as merely an opportunity to hook up. They can go clothes shopping at Nordstroms as I said before, try on a bunch of clothes, wear them out and just drop them back off at the store because we treat human beings these days sadly as disposable. There's a lack of integrity because for so many people and look at, I've been there, I didn't look in the mirror. I didn't look in the mirror and say, why could I be the problem? By the way, for those that know my story, know that after my divorce, my first year after my divorce, I went on over 100 first dates in one year. And in that one year, I'd meet this nice woman, we'd have this nice evening, we'd have, and I was going through my professional chaos at that time, literally the ground underneath me wasn't solid and I was seeking the companionship, connection and sex from women to basically make, so I thought I could feel good about myself and I had a hundred first dates, meet a nice gal, have a nice date, something didn't feel right, meet another one, nice gal, nice date, something didn't feel right, again, again, again. It took me one year to realize I was the common denominator in all these and that's when I began doing a deep dive into personal development, self-help and spiritual work so I could actually become better prepared to be in a relationship. Now I will tell you this, if you're familiar with the work of Allison Armstrong, she talks, she has what's called the PACS program, she's a colleague of mine, a friend of mine, I highly recommend checking out her work and she talks about something called the tunnel, the tunnel men go through. This is usually where the blueprint of what they thought their life would be like when their 20s and 30s collides with their reality, just like what happened to me and in this colliding of two worlds, we go through a dark tunnel, kind of a dark tunnel of the soul. This is much the same as Joseph Campbell's work on the hero's journey and for many men, this tunnel that we go through, I'll be candid with you, my tunnel lasted for over 10 years and for many men, it could last even longer than that. It can last 20 years. In fact, some men never come out of the tunnel. This is why when I created my coaching program, it's to help you identify the guys that are either going downhill or the ones that are coming uphill and you wanna catch that guy that's coming uphill, which is why I teach you how to vet for emotional maturity, how to, I teach you which questions you should ask based on your personality to determine if this person is right for you. Okay, so again, check out the link to a free discovery call with me. All right, number four of glaring red flags is health status of the man. Let's face it, if you're dating men 45, 50, 55, 60, 65 or older, as we age, we start having ailments. And again, if our health status isn't solid, which can be in many cases for those of us that are the baby boom or the Gen X generation. You know, I've heard women say to me, I don't wanna be a nurse and I don't wanna be a purse to a guy. Well, it's important to ask the deeper questions. I know when my girlfriend and I had our three-day deep dive, laid our cards on the table visit, one of the things we talked about was our health status. And we each are on some medication which we shared what it was and we shared why we're on this medication. We did this literally on our third visit, our third visit, which we spent four days together, because of our distance, we spent that time together and we laid our cards on the table. We practiced radical honesty. Folks, you've heard me say this over and over again. Many of you are dating on the surface level. It's things like, how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. Yeah, you're oftentimes asking such surface level if you want to get into deeper partnership with someone because you just can't sit back in your feminine energy and just wait for that guy to claim you, given that 80% of men are dysfunctional, leaning back only temporarily catches the dysfunctional guy. So don't practice this narrative. I want to invite you to be empowered in your energy. This is why read the books I recommend, like Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman before you ever really invest your heart and your body with someone who may not be capable of leaning into a relationship. And we're gonna talk about the fifth glaring red flag. This one is what I call emotional baseline, his emotional baseline. Remember I talked about radical honesty and asking deeper questions? Well, this is the time to really establish what's his emotional baseline? And there's a couple key areas I want you to focus in on. Number one, how he drives. I gotta tell you, there's a significant percentage of men that have road rage when they drive. So if you're driving with a man and you notice that there's a propensity to get angry at the civilians out on the street, that might give you some sense of his emotional baseline. Number two, his drinking habits. I gotta tell you, there's a significant amount of men that are alcoholics. In fact, some of them are functioning alcoholics. So when you go, and I'm sure some of you, tell me if you've experienced a guy you've been on a first date with him and he's had literally four, or he's had five, six, seven, eight glasses of wine or a cocktail on that first date. That's a glaring red flag. That's like the ambulance flashing. Be careful, because I know many of you have these beautiful hearts and you oftentimes accept dysfunctionality. But guess who pays the price in the end? You, you, you. You pay the price for not paying attention and acting so cavalier that the magic fairy dust of love and chemistry is going to make everything work out. His emotional baseline is an important thing to consider. So I want you to also think of his attitude towards women. I gotta tell you something. A lot of men will talk about their past dating experiences and throw women under the bus. They have, and by the way, I can't tell you how many countless dates I've gone on where you ladies are habitually toxic, bitter and jaded towards men. I gotta tell you, the reason why I oftentimes didn't ask women out on a second date is because they didn't realize that I could see every man that's ever hurt them standing behind her at the restaurant while we had a cocktail together. I gotta tell you, it's not just men that have toxic issues with women. You ladies can be just as bad. And I invite you to work on your bitterness, jadedness and contempt towards men. Because I gotta tell you, I read a lot of the comments many of you post on my channel and I can tell you guys are really bitter and jaded. And it is a fucking turn off to whether you're a man or a woman. So work on your shit when it comes to the opposite sex. And also I invite you to talk about politics and religion because depending on their attitudes, their ideologies, particularly in politics and religion, you can see their emotional baseline of where their ideology stands, are they a rigid person or are they an open and flexible person? I gotta tell you, my guess is two thirds of the population are incredibly rigid in their ideologies. And guess what happens? You pay the price in relationship with someone who has a rigid mindset. So let's finish up again, those five glaring red flags. We started with the ex-spouse status. We talked about the children's status. We talked about the professional life status. We talked about the health status and lastly, their emotional baseline. If you literally all you did was watch this video going forward and dating, I guarantee you, I am going to save a lot of emotional tension for many of you if you just literally followed the content in this video. Is this making sense? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know. Please hit that thumbs up button. Please hit the like button to this video. Please share this video with your friends. And if you're brand new to my channel right now, please subscribe to my channel by hitting the button below. All right, many of you know my format. This is time for Q&A. We're going to have a brief Q&A for the next few minutes. So if you have a question to ask me right now, please in the chat box. And by the way, all the, by the way, first I invite you to purchase a super sticker, super chat or a super thanks if you're watching the replay because all of the monies go to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley. As I shared earlier in the video, he's my son who passed away at age 19 of an accident. And I started a scholarship fund in his name. In fact, one of you beautiful ladies recently donated $500 to the Connor Asley scholarship fund. And I immediately have already processed half of that to Insight Seminars, which I think is a great organization. Please Google InsightSeminars.org if you wanna change your emotional baseline for yourself. And again, if you have a question for me, post the, write the word question and post the question there after or purchase a super sticker, super chat and post the question there. All right, let's jump into Q&A. If you have a question posted in the chat box right now. All right, it looks like Wanda has a question for us and then Kimberly thereafter. All right, Wanda says, before agreeing to have sex, is it okay to ask the other person to have blood work done to make sure they do not have a communicable disease assuming you've also done so as well? Great question, Wanda. So I have an acronym I share with everyone. I talk about this before you have sex with a man. My acronym is CARES, C-A-R-E-S, C-A-R-E-S. The C stands for do not have sex with a man until you feel comfortable. Now let me just say this. Many women can feel comfortable having sex on a first date. I am not here to judge sex on the first date and I know plenty of people who have had sex on the first date and they went on to have amazing relationships. So while, but what I bring this up is, first you need to feel comfortable even if you're going to have sex on the first date. Now the A stands for be aware, aware of the consequences. If you have a habit of attaching to a person or getting attached to the outcome with a man the minute you have sex with them then definitely don't have sex on the first date. You literally have to if you're going to do that have a bit of detachment if you're going to have sex before you fully know this person. So be aware of the consequences. The R stands for learn his real intentions, his real intentions. Is he looking for a casual relationship? Is he looking for a serious relationship? Now here's where it gets a little tricky and you ladies need to be a detective because you could be sitting there talking to a guy I want a relationship. He goes, I want a relationship too. Well, relationship for you might look like something like this. I'd like to spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills both in our personal and professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy, leading to either moving in together or getting married. Okay, that's one type of relationship. That might be the way you're looking for. And he's looking, well, I want a relationship where I spend time with you at my beck and call. So you both say you want a relationship but it means this to you and it means this to him. And you know that space in between? That space in between is called drama because you didn't do a good job asking what does commitment look like for you? What does a relationship look like for you? Ladies, many times you only have yourself to blame. So stop pointing the finger at men because they're honest with you. You just didn't do a better job investigating. Now I'm not victim blaming any of you for those of you that might say that right now. I'm just here to encourage look. Just like Cher said to Nicholas Cage and Moonstruck snap out of it. You have to snap out of the fantasy. Many of you are swimming in these days about relationships because as I said in the beginning of this broadcast, the majority of folks in midlife are divorced. Your relationship didn't work out for one reason. If you didn't figure that out, then you have no busy dating until you figured out how to actually be in a healthy relationship and how to spot the clues of someone who is capable of being in a relationship with you. So coming back Wanda cares, C-A-R-E-S. Oh, and to answer, oh, the S, I forgot the, or the E, I was doing one of my squirrels. The E stands for be exclusive. If you're gonna have regular sex with a guy, then be exclusive with him. And the S stands for safety and safety might look like actually doing an STD test. Okay? And many people do that. Many people don't, but many people do. And I certainly encourage that if that's important to you. So again, care, C-A-R-E-S, okay? When it comes to sex. And Wanda, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, let's go swimming. Woo, Kimberly writes, question, how's your relationship going? I'm nosy and I wanna know how things are going. Well, I'm here at her place right now. We're packing. She's moving to California within the week. So I think it's going great from my perspective. You know, one of the things I'm blessed now that I have someone really special in my life is I get to bounce off a lot of my professional ideas with her. And I gotta be candid with you. She's brilliant. I mean, she has a wisdom and a sense of perspective that I think will actually help me in my coaching practice. Not that I didn't have much of this, but hearing it from her point of view, hearing it from the emotional perspective she's experienced. And yes, I will, she's agreed to eventually come on camera as soon as I build out my studio and my new place. By the way, just as a reminder, you're still gonna be getting some reruns next week because I won't be able to shoot when I return back to California until my studio is built out. So Kimberly, it's going great and I am beyond blessed. And can I say something about relationships really quickly, folks? Gratitude is by far one of the most important fundamentals to a healthy, happy relationship. Attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance of one another. That's the multivitamin, the four A's to a healthy, happy relationship. And I'm beyond grateful that I've met someone where we practice giving each other undivided attention on the daily basis. Attention, affection, being affectionate with one another, sharing appreciation and quite frankly, she accepts my childlike behavior and I gotta tell you, I love her childlike behavior as well. So Kimberly, thank you so much for that question. Bridge asks, are there any green flags? Yes, actions matching words, victor consciousness from a human being. The ability to listen to your point of view, accept your point of view, acknowledge your point of view and understand that while they may have a different point of view, they can agree to disagree. Empathy, empathy is they can actually feel your feelings but more importantly, they care about their own feelings and they genuinely care about your feelings so much that they care so much about your feelings that it affects them when you're not feeling happy and lastly and most importantly, transparency. By laying your cards on the table, by knowing your own deficiencies or weaknesses in life, by being transparent about it, those are five amazing red green flags. Actions matching words, victor consciousness because here in the United States we are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness. I got to tell you that. Learning how to listen and acknowledge a person, empathy and transparency. Bridge, those are five great red green flags to look for. Thank you so much for that question. Okay, Kim writes, three dates. You put it all out there, I went wrong there, I went with the flow and didn't try thinking to turn them off. Well, I don't see a question there, Kim. So when you actually have a question, post it. Thank you. Nicole writes, question. I'm in a long distance relationship, boyfriend and girlfriend for a year now. I ask him to move in, he gets mad every time I bring it up and he finally just said, eventually it's going to happen. He's 42, what do I do? You know, folks, you know I'm in a long distance relationship. We had the talk about taking the distance from short or long to short, literally by the third meeting we had with each other or our third, we had two dates and then when she came to visit me, that's when we had the conversation and then we had a plan. Folks, if someone doesn't actually, especially if you spent a year with someone and there is no plan, then you're rolling the dice. You are rolling the dice with your emotional well-being when somebody isn't willing to put a plan in place. Folks, if you don't have a plan after the, listen, I'm a big proponent. Within three months of investing in a long distance relationship, if there's no plan in place to taking the long distance to short distance, I would start dating other people. That's it. I'd start saying, look, I'm not going to invest more in this relationship until there's a plan to take this distance from long to short. That's my invitation for you. Good luck, Nicole. I wish you all the best on this one. All right. Jennifer writes, can you get a man in his 40s and 50s to commit if they've never been married? First off, you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do. I'm here to suggest, look it, 20% of the, by the way, this is anecdotal what I'm about to say. 20% of the population has clinical, emotional and mental health issues. Maybe 20% of the male and female population actually have the capacity to lean into a juicy, delicious relationship. And then the vast majority, 60% are rather dysfunctional in their emotional maturity and relationship skills. So basically, eight out of 10 people are fucked up. Yourself's included. I've been there. I'm still there to some degree. So you can't make a man want commitment unless he's made that decision before he ever goes out with you on a first date. I'm here to say, most men operate like this. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. So they're hoping for something magical to happen to shift their narrative because the reality is these days, there is literally very little incentive to be in a committed relationship because we basically, men and women alike can swipe and get laid with little or no effort. Little or no effort. Men and women can have sex with little or no effort. Okay? So with that said, when a man starts saying, when I believe it, I will see it. So why I'm sharing this with you is I believed in commitment before I ever met my girlfriend. I knew that was what I wanted. So when I met him, really amazing, fantastic person and she felt strongly about me, I felt strongly about her and she wanted commitment as much as I did. It was easy to put the pieces in place. You can't make or force someone to want commitment. They actually have to want it before they ever really go on a first date with you. That's my invitation. They at least have to want it for themselves. And as I said in the beginning of this broadcast, I'm only working with those folks who want to be in partnership with someone. And yet sadly these days, most people are experienced companionship, connection and sex. And what's missing is commitment. And I'm sorry, all of us, and I've been there and I know many of you there as well. This is why again, I teach you how to do a better job. I put the odds in your favor. So again, reach out to me for a discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. Thank you, Jennifer, your question. All right, let's keep swimming and hear Maya. How did you and your girlfriend put it all on the line on the third date? What topics? Great question. You know what I appreciate about her? She actually led with telling her story of who she is. She wanted me to know, and we talked about her marriage, her most significant relationship. After her marriage, we talked about some of the people that she had dated and been in short-lived relationships. After that significant relationship ended, we talked about what was problematic. We talked about our personal development work that we experienced. We both did the same. We unpacked our lives with one another. And what I appreciate most about her, she is a woman of integrity and most importantly, transparency. She shared things that most dating coaches would tell you not to say. Let me repeat that. She shared things that a lot of people, often signs say, leave it as a mystery. Look it. You could be with someone for 50 years and continually uncover a person. You cannot vomit your entire life on one, two or three dates. But what I appreciate most about her is her capacity to be transparent. And when we both shared who we were as people, we found that we were incredibly compatible with one another. And I'm still oftentimes surprised at the person she is. I mean, even to this day, after we spent the last couple of weeks together packing up her place, I'm still amazed at who she is as a person, her capacity to be a, just even like taking apart a bed. I mean, she has these skill sets that I've witnessed that I'm continually impressed by. This is why folks, you know, I'm so fucking tired of the masculine and feminine energy. Look it. She has the capacity to take apart a bed, put together boxes, load a car by herself that is traditionally male. And yet she can be incredibly feminine and get dressed up in a sexy dress and look fantastic. I think the more evolved human being is that person that can basically operate from the narrative of masculine and feminine, mutually within their capacity of who they are. And we show up each in that way. We each have our strengths and weaknesses, but we don't judge the other person the way a lot of the feminine energy dating coaches out there because there are expectations the man be a leader, leader, leader. By the way, when you expect the man to be a leader, you're giving the job to the wrong person, you are in charge of your relationship destiny. So coming back to your question, how we laid our cards on the table, we just explained who we were, warts and all. And guess what? None of it, even the good, the bad, the ugly didn't scare either one of us away. And I think that's when you can be radically honest, when you can lay your cards on the table, I think that's the makings to a healthy, happy relationship. I wanna read every one of you, you know this meme I talk about. I hate small talk. I wanna talk about Adam's death, alien sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, far away galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you've told, your favorite sense, your flaws, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurity and fears. I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't wanna know, what's up? That's how we operated during those three days. Thank you Maya for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, hey, by the way, am I bringing value to you right now? If I am, please purchase a super sticker, super chat. If you're watching the replay, please purchase a super thanks. I'd really like to donate to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. So can you make an investment if this is provided value to you? Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Blinky writes, question, do you know of any questions and answer games to play with a new partner? You know what, there is a app called Card Dex, Card Dex, Gottman, Card Dex. Go to the Apple Store or the Play Store and check out Card Dex. These are great questions and that actually you can turn into games. So check out Card Dex from the Gottman, Card Dex on the Apple Store or Play Store. All right, Kim says, amen to gratitude. Thank you, Kim, I appreciate that. Let's go swim in. By the way, has this been a value to you? Please tell me if this is resonating with you, please hit that thumbs up. All right, Jennifer says you always provide value. Thank you so much, I appreciate that. Let's see. All right, you know what folks, I think this would be a good place to wrap up. Listen, I want you all to experience a juicy, delicious relationship in your life. I'd prefer that you don't invest in broken people, invest in relationships that actually have potential. Please focus on those five glaring red flags I talked about. By the way, I wanna thank Pam so much for the $5 Super Sticker, I really appreciate it. I'd really like you to do a better job vetting men. Do a better job asking questions. Do a better job of learning if you're capable of leaning into a healthy, happy relationship. Because while many of you might believe it, believe it or not, many of you are not as capable, capable, as you think you are. So let's have a prayer to end our live chat tonight, God, universe, spirit. I am experiencing a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship. Start from the I am experiencing it, and we have amazing chemistry together, and our communication skills are off the chart with one another, and we have lifestyles that are blendable with one another, and we share the same values that allow us to build the deeper roots of trust. I'm experiencing this right now. Act as if, act as if you're already there, God, universe, spirit. I am experienced this, and I wanna thank you for allowing it to be in my life today. Thank you so much, God, universe, spirit. Everyone, I invite that into your life right now. Also, I wanna invite the appreciation of Debbie for purchasing a $4.99 Super Sticker. Thank you so much. All right, folks, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today. Did I provide value for you? Please let me know. Please post a comment below. Please comment on some of the comments I made about those five blurring red flags. And my hope is this content actually can change your life. And if it has, please let me know as well. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big, gigantic, Joth and Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Janice and Kim and Bridge and Debbie and Ava and Danielle and Indigababy and Gloria and Patty and Maya and Jessica and Kimberly is in the house. And Robin and Blinky, thank you all. Oh, beautiful one. Thank you all so much. You all be well. Take care. Talk to you soon. Bye now.