 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. It was Byron who said, all history attests that happiness for man, the hungry sinner, since Eve ate apples, much depends on dinner. Well, if you were making plans for a dinner party, you'd probably start with a fruit cocktail or canapes or oysters on the half-shell, something like that. In Springfield, however, in the White Frame House on Maple Street, they do things in a much more logical way. When Jim Anderson plans a dinner, he starts in a basic, concrete manner, like this. All right, bud, let me have the cement. Here you are, Dad. Thank you. Now, uh, wait a minute. You didn't use the whole sack. Didn't you want me to? Bud, that's enough cement to build a second boulder dam. Well, gosh, I didn't know. You just said to mix it. We're building a barbecue pit, not another porch for the White House. Jim, I told you in the very beginning... Honey, I know you don't approve, but I guarantee that when I get through, we'll have the finest brick barbecue in Springfield. Gormans had a sale of portable barbecues, and there was no reason... That's the trouble with this family. They're always buying things. Wouldn't you much rather use something you'd built yourself? Not if someone else can build it better. Margaret, why do you assume that someone else can build a barbecue better than I can? Because you've built a barbecue. What was wrong with it? It fell apart. Well, there was a reason for that. I, uh, didn't have the proper material. They sold me stale cement. That's all. Daddy, I've got the bricks all piled up like you told me. Oh, that's fine, Kathy. Now what do you want me to do? Well, how would you like to go inside and do your homework? But I want to help. I'll go inside and do my homework. You stay where you are. You've got to get this thing built in a hurry, and it's going to take both of us to do it. He always gets to help you, because he's a boy, and you love him more than you love me. I do not, Kathy. Then why can't I help you? Because I... Oh, here. You take the magazine with the instructions and read them off to us. How'll that be? Is that important? Of course it's important. It's probably the most important part of the whole job. Why can't I help bud stir up the goo? Because the goop is all stirred up. Now do you want to read the instructions, or would you prefer to go inside and do your homework? I'll read the instructions, Daddy. All right. Jim. One second, honey. We've got to get this thing going before the cement hardens. What does it say, Kathy? Mix two parts of cement, one part hydrated. Hydrated. Limes. Nine parts grated sand. We've already mixed the cement, Kathy. What comes next? That's all it says. It's on the next page, Dopey. Oh. But that's no way to speak to your sister. Well, good grief if she doesn't know enough to turn a page. Here it is. What does it say? Continued from page 72. Well, that's nice. What else does it say? After building concrete slab to desired size for base. What do you have to do that for? The slab butt is to hold the ashes when they drop through. Why can't they just fall on the ground? Because it isn't that kind of a barbecue. Joe Phillips and his father built a barbecue and they didn't put a slab on the bottom. They were too lazy to do it properly. Now make a slab for the base and let's not have any more arguments. What are you going to do? I have to speak to your mother. Well, go ahead. Holy cow. I'll help you, bud. What were you saying, dear? Oh, I was just wondering why we needed a barbecue at this particular time. That's all. I explained the whole thing to you less than 10 minutes ago. Phil Buckley and his wife are going to be in Springfield. And you've invited them to dinner. I understand that, Jim. Margaret, they live in an apartment in New York. How often do you suppose they get to eat charcoal broil steaks grilled over an open fire? How often do they have a chance to eat out of doors with the sky for a roof and the green grass for a carpet? How often do you suppose they can get pneumonia? What? This is November, Jim. It's cold. What's that got to do with it? This is not the sky for a roof and green grass season. I promised Phil Buckley barbecued steaks. And when I make a promise, you don't suppose they'd rather eat indoors, do you? Not unless they're normal human beings. Well, that's all right then. Nobody ever accused a district supervisor of being either normal or human. Well, how about Mrs. Buckley? Well, anybody who can be happily married to a stuffed shirt like Phil Buckley won't know the difference. Jim? Well, Buckley keeps telling me what an outdoor man he is. Sits in a duck blind all winter. Fishes with the icy spray bouncing over the poop deck. Or wherever it bounces. He'd probably be insulted if we even mentioned going indoors. Of course, the steaks do seem to taste better outside. You bet they do. The smell of charcoal smoke, steak sizzling on the grill. Bud, haven't you finished that slab yet? I'm just moving it out, Dad. Well, that's smooth enough. Now, there you see. But it wasn't any trouble at all. What's next, Kathy? Lay three rows of bricks, building up the corners first. Okay, nothing very complicated about that. If you lay the bricks all the way around, how do you get the ashes out? This is a very reliable magazine. And if they say to put the bricks all around, you put them all around. Maybe they send a man out for the ashes, huh? That's not very funny. I wasn't trying to be funny, Dad, but if you put the bricks all around... You start with that corner, and I'll start with this corner. And when you get to Scotland, give my regards to Loc Lomond. Lie, but you're in a gay mood, aren't you? What's Loc Lomond, Daddy? Never mind. Just concentrate on the instructions. Now, what comes next? Use a plum level and a four-foot straight edge of wood to keep ends plum. What's that? Well, we'll skip that part. We don't have to be too technical about it, do we, Bud? The Phillips built theirs without a magazine, and they can take the ashes out. Bud, I asked you something. Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. I guess I wasn't listening. Well? Well, what? Uh... Your father wasn't listening either. Now, look here, Margaret. You said, do we, Daddy? Oh, of course. That's what I said. Well, Bud, do we? Do we what? Have me a few bricks, Kathy, please. We're in the backyard, Betty. Dad, if the ashes fall down and you've got bricks all around the bottom... The magazine says three rows of bricks, and that's what we put in. Unless you think you know more about it than they do. I didn't say that, Dad. What's going on out here? We're building a barbecue. What for? Cat's fur to make kitten bridges. What? I'm all through with my side, Dad. Want me to help you with yours? Never mind. I'll have it finished in two seconds. Mother? Yes, dear. Why the barbecue all of a sudden? Well, Mr. Buckley and his wife are coming to dinner on Saturday, and your father promised them... Saturday? Now what's the matter? Father, you can't have anybody for dinner on Saturday. Oh, I can't, can I? Mother, that's homecoming day. Oh, dear, I forgot all about it. About what? I'm giving a party on Saturday after the football game. Well, this is a fine time to tell me. I did tell you, Father. You even suggested the chili and beans dinner. Is that this Saturday? Thirty people, and you have to pick that day for a barbecue. Betty, your father didn't do it deliberately. This is business, Betty. I didn't know Mr. Buckley was coming, but he is, and there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm ruined. My whole life is a shamble. Betty, there's no need to be upset. Of course not. We'll have both parties. That's all. You have yours indoors, and we'll have ours outdoors. What's wrong with that? Well, nothing. As long as you keep Kathy outdoors with you. Now, just a minute, Betty. The Buckley's... There's no reason why Kathy can't stay inside. Father, she'll ruin everything. You know how she is. I didn't do anything. Margaret, will you please explain to her... This is the most important part of my life, and you want her to spoil it. Betty, Mr. Buckley is a very important man. Any worse stuff, sure. Kathy! Margaret, no matter what happens, no matter what Betty says, Kathy's not going to stay outside with us. Mother, please, you know what she did last time. She started a football game in the living room. Well, nobody broke anything, did they? None of the girls talked to me for a week. Father, if you only knew... Betty, I think I can fix the whole thing. You do? Jim and Lucille Hathaway are going on a picnic next Saturday, and I know they'll be glad to take Kathy with them. Would you like that, dear? Gee, that'll be keen. Oh. Well, that's a very sensible solution. I'll fix a little lunch for Kathy and Bud. Wait a minute. How did I get into this? Bud. I don't want to go on a picnic. I've got a date with Joe Phillips. Bud, you'll go along and take care of your sister. But why should I suffer just because she's a pest? I'm not a pest. You certainly are. I certainly aren't. Bud, I wasn't doing anything to anybody. I was standing here not hurting a soul. Bud, we won't discuss it anymore. But, Dad... You spend the day with the Hathaway's, and you'll have a very good time. Holy cow. Well, that's settled. Now let's get back to the barbecue. What comes next, Kathy? Oh, after the martyr has hardened, fill with water to the first line of bricks. Well, that shouldn't be too... What? Why do you need water in a barbecue? Kathy, give me that magazine. I just read what it said, Kathy. See? Oh, no. What's the matter, Dad? Kathy, you... You... I didn't do anything. Jim, what is it? What did she do? She turned two pages. That's what she did. Do you know what we've built? A bird bath. A cup of coffee is making some good news these days. All over the country, grocers are featuring Maxwell House coffee at lower prices. Yes, lower prices on Maxwell House. Something we've all been wanting to see. You, your grocer, and the Maxwell House people. Now that wonderful good to the last drop flavor is yours to enjoy at the lowest prices in months. Rich, satisfying flavor you can count on. Cup after cup, day after day. Because with Maxwell House coffee, we have just one aim. To bring you the most in flavor and real enjoyment every pound you buy. To bring you truly good coffee at the lowest possible price. That's why Maxwell House gives you so much more flavor for your money. Your money's worth and more in pleasure and satisfaction. And at today's prices, it's more than ever. Today's coffee by. Next time you shop, look for that familiar blue Maxwell House tin in your store. Featured these days at the lowest prices in months. Bring home a pound and start enjoying coffee that's always good to the last drop. It's Saturday in Springfield and there's great activity at the end of the season. Indoors, Betty's party is proceeding at a great rate. Outdoors, well, outdoors, things aren't going as well as they might, like this. Ah, the outdoor life, Mrs. Buckley, that's the thing. Living in the open, close to nature. We're very happy with our apartment. Yes, it has steam heat. Jim is telling me that you have some wonderful plans for the future, Mr. Buckley. Right now I'm beginning to doubt that there is any future. Yes, sir, this is the sort of thing you New Yorkers miss. The peace and quiet of a small community. A chance to look at the blue sky and the green grass. The simple life. There is nothing in the world more complicated than the simple life. What happened to those stakes you were talking about? Oh, they're right here, Phil. In another few minutes I'll have these coals just the way I want. You know, Jim, this barbecue of yours has given me an idea, a great idea. Philip gets ideas from the strangest things. So I've been told. Margaret. What were you saying, Phil? This is a whole new approach to the family angle of insurance protection. Modernization, that's the ticket. Well, I wouldn't say that this was the most modern barbecue in the world. That's what I mean. Why buy an old-fashioned policy? Why cook the way the caveman did when they've invented stoves? Follow me? Phil, you can't get the charcoal flavor in a stove. It's the... It's the smoke that makes the difference. Jim is testing it now for the proper consistency. It certainly looks thick enough. I don't know what's gotten into this fire. It should have been ready an hour ago. Well, stop poking at it. You've put it out twice now. Would you care for another blanket, Mr. Buckley? Oh, no, thank you. Right now I'm interested in food. You might not believe this, Phil, but Bud and I built this barbecue with our own hands. I can believe it very easily. It's the weirdest-looking contraption I've ever seen. Philip likes everything to be efficient. Don't you, Philip? Is the smoke annoying you, Mrs. Buckley? Oh, no, it seems to make things a little... warmer. I think we're just about ready, Phil. Good. I was beginning to wonder whether you'd built a barbecue or... or a smudge pot. Yes, sir, in ten minutes you'll be digging into the greatest steak you've ever eaten. Ten minutes? I'll be ready to take a bite out of a passing cow. Well, here we go. And when these steaks hit the grill, just listen to them sizzle. I tell you, Phil, there's nothing like it. There. Now they'll crackle and pop and sputter. Fill the air with the most magnificent aroma. When? That's funny. They always have before. Jim, don't you think we ought to take them inside? I'll get it going in just a minute, honey. Let me take a look at that fire, Jim. Philip, you're getting all uncovered. You'll catch your death of cold. Oh, it's going to be all right, Phil. It's just like sitting in an icebox. That's what it is. Jim, where are you? Right over here, Phil. Barbecue. You ought to sell the confounded thing to the government as a secret weapon. Please don't get too close to it. Close? I can't even find the thing. Jim, there's a perfectly good stove in the kitchen. Oh, oh, there you are. Looks like the draft isn't operating quite the way it should. Maybe if I poke the fire a little more... No, leave it alone. How do you expect it to get well if you keep picking at it? Those children certainly seem to be having a nice time indoors. Jim... Just a minute, honey. I think I know what's wrong. You know, Phil, I think if we could just raise the fire a little... Would you like me to get under it and push? Well, no, but I would just... You gods, man, those steaks aren't even warm. Why don't you lower the grill? Well, you see, we had to build it in a hurry. It was a bird bath first. Margaret. We had some technical problems to overcome, and we had to take a few little shortcuts. So? Well, that's the only place the grill goes. But if we can raise the fire a little... Why don't we just hold some matches under the steaks? Jim, I think this has gone quite far enough. Honey, if you'll just give me a few more minutes. Are you going to take the steaks inside or shall I? Why don't we all go inside? No, you... You'd better stay right here, Phil. All those kids running around, they'd trample all over you. Well, that would be quicker than dying of cold and starvation. Put your blankets back on, Philip. Jim... I'll take the steaks inside. I'll have them cooked in two minutes. Well, please, hurry, dear. And enjoy yourselves the simple life. When I get home, I'm going to kiss every stone on Fifth Avenue. Try to do something unusual, and what thanks do you get? Put matches under the steaks, he tells me. Big outdoor man. Shoots ducks in the middle of the winter. I've never saw a duck in his whole life. Hi, Father. Oh, Betty, can I speak to you for a minute? Isn't this a wonderful party, Father? How's yours going? Fine, Betty. Just fine. Hi, Mr. Anderson. Oh, hello, Tommy. Having a good time? Great. Say, Betty, the gang needs some more chili and beans. Well, there's lots of it on the stove. Grab a pot. Okay. See you around the drugstore, Mr. Anderson. Yes, I'll... See you around the drugstore. Isn't he a goon, Father? Yes, he certainly is. Betty, I... Yes, Father? I know why I promised to keep the bucklies outside, but we're freezing to death. Father... The barbecue doesn't work. The steaks won't cook. You've got to let us come in. That's all. Father, you're going to ruin everything. Everything is ruined. I'll be lucky if I don't get fired. Father, if you'll just wait another few hours... You'll be dead in another few hours. Look, just get all of those things out of the oven. Let me cook the steaks and we'll discuss the rest of it later. But you can't take the biscuits out of the oven. They'll be ice cold. Well, we're ice cold. Why should they be any better? Father... Daddy! Oh, no! Hiya, Dad. What's cooking? Very little, believe me. What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be home for three hours. What happened to the picnic? Mr. Hathaway said it was too cold for a picnic. What are you doing with the steaks? Father, if she goes anywhere near the living room and says anything about a football game... I hid the football, so stop worrying about it. Let me get at the stove. Why don't you use the barbecue, Dad? Why don't you take Kathy to the movies? Go ahead, Bud. You heard what he said. We haven't had our dinner yet. We can eat popcorn, Bud. Come on. I haven't had anything to eat since one o'clock. What happened to the picnic lunch? We ate that on the way over. Bud! It's the most ridiculous thing that's ever happened in my whole life. Margaret, I was just starting to cook the steaks. Mother, it isn't time for you to come in. It most certainly is. It's raining. Well, outside of an earthquake, what else can happen? Now, see here, Jim. I've stood just about... What's that? What? On the stove. What is it? Oh, chili and beans, Bill. But if you'll be patient for just another few minutes... Chili! Did you hear that, Isabelle? Chili! Doesn't it smell wonderful? You mean you like chili? All the time Philip was courting me, we never ate anything else. Chili and beans and chopped onions. I haven't had anything like that since... Oh, grab a plate, Isabelle. I already have. Phil, I've got all these steaks. You can take the steaks and stuff them back in the refrigerator. Dad. What is it, Bud? I'll eat a steak. Grab some of this chili, Bud. It's terrific. I made it, Mr. Buckley, all by myself. Betty, if I were two years younger, I'd marry you. Don't listen to him, Betty. He tells that to all the girls. Can I have some chili? I'll have a steak ready in five minutes, Kathy. I don't want a steak. I want some chili. Kathy, I don't think you should... Oh, a little chili isn't going to hurt her, Margaret. You don't mind if I call you Margaret, do you? I know. Hey, Betty, hurry up. We're waiting for you. Oh, just a minute, Tommy. They're going to do birdie in a cage. Oh, I'll be right there. Wait a minute. You mean you're going to square dance? Philip, that's just for the young people. Well, we're young people. Come on. But I haven't finished my chili. Get along. Come on, Isabel. I'm sorry, Margaret, but he's so impetuous. Betty, you're holding up the whole works. You want me to carry your plate, Mrs. Buckley? I can manage it, dear. Me? I come too, Betty? Oh, sure. Come on. Dad. There's a great thing. $9.60 for steak. And they want chili. Dad. So help me, Margaret. This is the last time I try to do anything for anybody. Dad. What do you want, bud? I'll eat a steak. Thank you very much. I mean, if it'll help you out any. All right, bud, go ahead. Eat all of them. All of them? Holy cow. Where are you going? To get Joe Phillips. I'm going to need help. Bud. Jim. Yes, Margaret. While we were waiting for you outside, I had a long talk with the Buckleys. Good for you. Do you know why Mrs. Buckley made this trip to Springfield? At this stage, I don't know anything. Well, Mr. Buckley had told her so much about our children that she wanted to meet them. She did? They weren't interested in barbecues and steaks. They wanted to spend the day with Kathy and Betty and Bud. Well, how was I supposed to know? They don't look like the sort of people who like children. But they do, Jim. They like them very much. They like us all very much. Well, what's so funny? Just something Mrs. Buckley said. Well, all right. Go ahead. Drop the other shoe. What did she say? No, you won't be angry. Of course not. What did she say? Well, she said that Mr. Buckley had a great deal of respect for your business ability. Yes. And isn't it too bad you're such a stuffed shirt? We're mighty happy about the coffee news these days. Grocers everywhere are featuring Maxwell House at lower prices. Yes, lower prices on the coffee more people buy and enjoy than any other brand. Now you folks who always drink Maxwell House can enjoy it at the lowest prices in months. And you folks who haven't been getting that wonderful good to the last drop flavor, now's the time to bring home a familiar blue Maxwell House tin. See how much more pleasure you find in a cup of coffee when it holds the world's most famous flavor. Flavor so rich and mellow. Flavor you can count on because we'll never compromise on the quality of a single pound. For wonderfully good coffee. For today's coffee buy. Look for Maxwell House featured in stores everywhere these days at the lowest prices in months. You can be sure it's always good to the last drop. Now it's Sunday in Springfield and in the Anderson Backyard, Jim, he's the stubborn rover boy, is still determined to make the barbecue work like this. There you see, nothing wrong with it now, is there? No, dear. Weren't the Buckleys fun, mother? Boy, could he square dance. How do you suppose he learned a new thing like square dancing? Look at those hamburgers cook, Margaret. I ask you, isn't that beautiful? Yes, dear, just beautiful. I can't figure out what got into the darn thing yesterday. Well, it's like a new baby, I guess. Invite a bunch of people over to see it and what happens. Probably cries for the first time in his whole life. Know what I mean? Yes, I know what you mean. Now you take last night, smoked like a chimney. Probably won't smoke again as long as we have it. Bad. I've got the plate, Mom. Just one of those things. It won't happen again in a million years. Go ahead, bud. Where are you taking the hamburgers? Into the kitchen where they belong. Wait a minute, Margaret. There's nothing wrong with a barbecue. It's just that... I said... Tell the kids, it's a hot favorite with Hoppy. That's hot post-tweet meal. And you won't have to coax the youngsters to eat a hot cereal for breakfast if you tell them how Hoppillow and Cassidy loves hot post-tweet meal. Hoppy knows it's chuck full of good, solid nourishment. He goes for the rich, nut-like flavor. And you'll go for the fact that post-tweet meal cooks in just three and a half minutes. So get hot post-tweet meal and tell the kids it's Hoppy's favorite. You'll see, you'll all agree, it's the best hot cereal you ever ate. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best. Starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed J. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet which follows immediately over most of these stations. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.