 So, you want to get into a relationship where you're loved and you're seen and you're cherished by a great guy. That's really the best kind of relationship that you can possibly get into. And if you're not in one of those kinds of relationships, I mean is it really even worth getting into one? So, I have 10 things here that we're going to be talking about today and my suggestion is that you stay single unless you're meeting a guy that does most or all of these things. So hello, I'm Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you really want to get into an awesome relationship with a great guy, you can go and pick up my program, The Forever Woman for free. If you go to theforeverwomanformula.com, there's a link above and below this video for that. All right, so what are we talking about here? So the 10 things that you should stay single unless you meet a guy who does these things. So the first one is that he is true to his word. So the mark of a mature adult is when they promise something and they keep their promises. And obviously mistakes happen, right? People forget things. Nobody's perfect. But my suggestion is that if you want a great relationship, you wait for a promise keeper. You wait for somebody who has integrity and is true to his word. So that's number one. Also if you're here right now with us, make sure that you say hi and let us know where in the world you're watching this from in the chat. It's really cool to see women from all over the world watching these live streams. So number two is he tells you that he misses you. So he loves being around you and he's not trying to play games with you. When he misses you, he's willing to be vulnerable enough to say that he misses you. So he knows that you're a catch and he's a catch too. And so he's open and he's willing to say that he misses you because he really does. He likes you and he's willing to be vulnerable in that way. Number three is that he communicates his vulnerabilities to you. So he's not perfect. He knows he's not perfect and he's strong enough in himself that he can open up about his vulnerabilities to you. And that doesn't mean that he can't talk about himself in a positive way. He should be, right? If you have high self-esteem, you do talk about yourself in a positive way, but he's also willing to open up and admit when he's wrong or talk about mistakes that he's made or he's willing to open up and talk about how he's vulnerable with you. That's another mark of a mature adult is somebody that's willing to do that. Number four is he takes you seriously. So he listens, pays attention and cares about you and your needs. And so this means that he values you and who you are on the inside, right? He actually cares about who you are and he cares about what's going on with you and he cares about your needs. And he actually sits there and pays attention and listens to you and what's going on with you. Number five is he takes responsibility for your needs and happiness even though he doesn't need to. So you're happy and fine by yourself, hopefully, hopefully that's the case, right? But he learns about who you are and what you need and he makes sure that you're getting taken care of and that you're happy and you're, this isn't a codependency thing, right? You're not dependent on him for your own happiness, but he enhances and he enriches your life. So number six is he wants you to be safe, happy and protected. So he's the type of man who even if you two broke up, he'd still care about you and treat you well and be a friend to you. And that's because he's not just your lover, he's also a friend and a partner in your life. And that's kind of the foundation that really creates a really empowering, powerful relationship that you can be in is not just being lovers, but also being friends and actually caring about each other and each other's needs and what's going on with each other. And as a man, one of our primal needs is to provide and protect, right? To make sure that things are going well, everything's taken care of, everything's good to go. You want that to be a part of who he is and what he brings out in himself when he's around you. So number seven is that he is proud of you. So he sees the beautiful and amazing person that you are right now. So he's proud of your qualities, he's proud of your work, he's proud of your mind. So he's not waiting or pushing you to be something that he wants you to be. He sees and appreciates who you are today and so you want somebody who's proud of who you are today and he's proud of being around you and he's proud of having you in his life and he's proud of you. So number eight is he brings out the best in you. So he makes you feel good about yourself and he inspires you to bring out the best qualities that you have and you feel like you're a better person when you're around him and you're a better person for having him in your life and you're a better person when you're in a relationship together. And so a lot of people and one of the kind of red flags that you want to watch out for is a lot of times people get into relationships where you pull out kind of the worst parts of each other and you always feel like you're the worst part of yourself is being pulled out when you're together and that's the opposite of what you want. If you get what I'm talking about here, make sure you say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about or you have a question about something, make sure you ask it and I will get to it here in a minute. So if you have any questions, ask them about anything. Number nine is he gets along with your friends and family. So I've talked about this before in the past and there are exceptions to this rule like if you hate your family, right? So there are some people in the world who hate their families or they have really weird families or they have really disconnected families or they haven't done healing around their family or maybe their family, there's people in their family who are just people that are just people that you would never want to associate with. And so sometimes there are exceptions to this rule for sure. But generally speaking, if your family isn't that dysfunctional, right, I know a lot of us have dysfunctional families, me included. But if your family's not so dysfunctional that you've completely disowned them and don't want anything to do with them anymore, then it's one of those things where let's just throw friends and family together here and say that if you want a great foundation and start to a relationship, it's good to have a man who gets along with your friends and your family. He doesn't have to be best buds with them, but he does get along with them. Number 10, he's bold and unapologetic about wanting a commitment with you because he sees a future together. So if a man's afraid of a commitment or he's scared about talking about it or he says he's not ready for one, that's a massive red flag. There's a question about this in our community, I think today or yesterday or something, where this woman was asking about this guy who said that he's not ready for a relationship, but he doesn't want to let her go. And it's just so bad to him to let him go. And it's like, well, you know, it's one of those things. It's like he's trying to get all of his needs met without meeting your needs. And if a guy is really serious about you, he will see you in his future and he will think about you in his future. And you want a man who, when he thinks about you and he thinks about being with you, he's a giant yes, right? He's like, hell yeah, you know, that's what you want. You don't want a maybe or a shield do. You want an enthusiastic yes, I want this person in my life, right? And that's the kind of attitude that you want him to have with you. And if he doesn't have that attitude with you, then that's a, that's a major problem. And so he isn't afraid of a future together because he sees you in it. He includes you in his life because you're important to him. So important that he doesn't want to let you go. And that's what you deserve. And you shouldn't accept anything less. Now if you're thinking he's not really, really any of these things. He doesn't have any of this stuff going on, then my suggestion is that you can do better. And if you want a man, you want a man who meets your standards and your standards should be high. So you're not just going for any guy. You're not, you know, acting desperate, all that kind of stuff. Because when you're coming from a space of desperation and just taking anything and just, you know, you want to be in a relationship so bad or you want a guy so badly that you're willing to get into a relationship that isn't really right for you just so that you can have the guy, you end up getting into a bad situation and you'll end up regretting it down the road once some of those crazy emotions that you have kind of settled down. And so you want to make sure you're getting into a great situation. And the way that you do that is by making sure that you value yourself and that you look at yourself as a woman who deserves the type of relationship that you really want to have. So if you have any questions about what we just talked about, ask them in the chat and I will get to them here in a second. Just going to go back over the 10 again real quick so everybody can hear them. First one is he's true to his word. Second one is he tells you that he misses you. Third one is he communicates his vulnerabilities to you. Fourth one is he takes you seriously. Fifth one is he takes responsibility for your needs and happiness even though he doesn't need to. Sixth one is he wants you to be safe, happy and protected. Seventh is he's proud of you. Eighth is he brings out the best in you. Ninth is he gets along with your friends and family. And tenth is he's bold and unapologetic about wanting a commitment with you because he sees a future together. Alright so let's see what kind of questions we have. If you have any questions about your situation or you have questions about the world and life, you have questions that you just want me to answer. If you have questions about anything at all, go ahead and ask them in the chat and I will get to them. Let's see what we have here. Lots of people say hi, hello, hello, hello, Michigan, New Zealand, Texas, Canada, Dallas, Nigeria, England, New York, Jamaica, Uganda, UK, Arkansas, Saudi, wow I mean it's so cool to see so many women from all over the world watching these things. Botswana, Utah, Washington, DC, Texas, Germany, Singapore, so awesome. So cool, lots of I gets it, I gets it, I gets it. Oh did I freeze, did this freeze? For a second, Pamela says it's not easy nowadays to get someone special, yeah I mean I don't know about that, I don't know about that. That's definitely not, is that really true, is that really true Pamela, is it really true, I don't know. Khadija says what if he has the last one, he sees a future with you, but you don't seem to see any with him, well I mean that's definitely a problem. If you don't see a future with him, why are you with him, right? Are you just doing something for the moment and just trying to get your needs met for the moment? I don't know that sounds like something that isn't really fulfilling long term for you. So Barlow says hey I met a guy who had these points, he wanted commitment early, yeah hopefully it wasn't too early. Josie says hi from Italy, hello, hello, hello. Kat says I have been holding off dating while I am separated, this month I apply for divorce and still my heart isn't open, yeah I mean you know it can take some time, therapists usually say that it can take up to a year after getting divorced before somebody is actually ready to or longer before somebody is actually ready to get into a new relationship again. So you know just take your time and focus on you and focus on building yourself up. They say when somebody breaks up with somebody that it actually, it's like you're losing a part of yourself and I don't know how it was in your marriage and why you're breaking up or getting a divorce but it can take time to build yourself back up and shift yourself and shift what you're doing and regain your sense of identity and who you are and opening yourself up to actually wanting something real again especially if you were hurt really badly in the relationship or you ended up kind of cutting off your emotions or you felt like you just ended up having a roommate or something like that. Adaku says your words speak your life into existence, my special someone is on his way, that's right, that's what I'm talking about, Adaku, Adaku gets it, right your words do speak your life into existence and so it's very important that when you speak you're saying things that are things that you want to speak into existence and they're not things that limit your vision and what you want. So like when Pamela says it's not easy nowadays to get someone special that's actually creating a reality around you where you're experiencing it not being easy to get somebody special whereas if you open up your mind and you open up the way that you look at people and you start thinking about people in a completely different way then and you start thinking about it actually being easy to find someone special because it is actually very easy to find someone special once you realize that everybody is special, right? And so you want to be very deliberate and very conscious about what you speak into existence because if you're speaking the wrong things into existence you might actually create things that you don't want in your life and you aren't even doing them and you're not even doing them consciously or you don't mean to do them in that way. All right what else do we have here? Constance says I have a boyfriend who has all points but lives 40 miles away and we only see each other once a month. Okay, Julie Tree says Matt your face is glowing like an angel today. Well thank you, this is easier. So what else, anybody else have any questions about their situations here? I'm just going to go over questions here so if you have any questions let me know. In the meantime we will just talk about other things, life and existence, the world around us, what's going on. We have somebody here from Italy, I know that the coronavirus is going on. I don't want to start spreading like anger or fear among the people. Alright Tanja says how should I change as a person from flings to getting into a relationship? What to power think? Been single for six years, dated two guys I really liked but got ghosted. Yeah I mean how long did you date these guys? It's actually pretty common in this day and age so we live in the world of the hookup culture. I've talked about this a few different times where it's become pretty normal for people to ghost each other and women actually ghost more than men do statistically speaking. However, it's just become normal and it's something that you're going to have to deal with and there's not a whole lot that you can really do about other people ghosting you, there are women in our community that ghost guys and they talk about it and it's just one of those things, you gotta not take it, it's hard to not take it personally for sure you know and at the same time you have to remember that those people aren't for you and that they're opening space for somebody else to come into your life that's better for you and your needs and what it is that you want and so yeah it sucks when you date somebody and they ghost you. So how should I change as a person from flings to getting into a relationship? We definitely don't want to get into flings ever, I never ever suggest that anybody get into a fling ever mostly because we have a huge number of women in our community who have gotten into kind of fling situations where that's all they wanted and eventually it turned into them wanting something more but now they're with a guy who they made an agreement with that they just do a fling thing or they never had a conversation about anything more and so now they're in a bad situation and so my suggestion is that you don't get into a situation like that. So Megan says I'm four months out from husband deciding he wanted another woman, I'm wanting companionship but want it to be healthy. Mary says I know it sounds cliche but I found my husband when I wasn't looking at all that's my advice is don't try to force love. We are in a weird transition in our relationship after 21 years of marriage but if you love one another it's worth the effort. I'm finding that I'm putting in 110% and he is putting in 25% so that's the struggle now. He thinks it should be on autopilot but anyway I'm going to keep fighting. Interesting. Yeah I mean it's definitely one of those things I think there's a different energy about us when you're looking for somebody versus when you're not looking for somebody and I've heard a lot of times from a lot of people that they tend to find somebody when they aren't really looking for someone and I think it's because their energy changes. A lot of times when we're like actively looking for somebody what ends up happening is we start acting and behaving in ways that aren't necessarily attractive because we're taking it so seriously about getting into this relationship and so the energy that we kind of put out there and that we put out when we're talking to a guy or we're meeting a guy or we see a guy or whatever could end up being really kind of a repelling energy whereas when you're not looking it's like you're more calm you're more relaxed you're more confident you're more comfortable because you're not trying to make something happen and you're not like okay I got to get this right and I got to figure this out and all that kind of stuff which when you're in your head and you're doing that a lot of times it can end up pushing somebody away because what usually brings somebody in and attracts somebody to you is being playful and being in the state of feeling playful and connecting and having fun as opposed to making things serious and trying to get something to work and trying to make something happen so Casey says is it bad if a guy says they want to marry you but don't give a definite time frame is he just playing well it kind of depends I mean I wouldn't say that it's necessarily bad it could be that he's trying to open up that idea so one thing you have to know about a guy so guys are constantly looking for permission and they're looking to whether something's allowed especially in this day and age with the all the me too stuff and all the things that are going on where there's a lot of kind of like feminist ideas out there that are pushing guys to you know stop approaching and stop making moves on women and you know all this kind of stuff where you know obviously that's not what the me too movement is but that's what kind of some of the after-effect has been on a lot of guys is they've they've been attacked yelled at for making moves or approaching women or whatever right and it happens all the time I you know it's it's happened to guys in our community it's happened to friends of mine it's happened to a lot of people and so you just have to realize that sometimes guys will will look it will say things to kind of see how you react to him right so if he starts talking about marriage and you're like not interested at all he knows that that's not something that he can bring up right he doesn't want to propose to you and you end up rejecting him right he wants to be on the same page and make sure you're on the same page and that you're both kind of in this space where you're you're going towards this thing together and so that's that's something that you want to be aware of so and it also depends on what kind of a timeframe you're talking about in terms of how long you've been seeing this guy and what your relationship kind of looks like are you guys living together are you sleeping together you know how long have you been together all that kind of thing so it kind of depends he says I was seeing a guy who has a woman who's his best friend she lives 10 hours away and he knows she has feelings for him and he's aware of that but can't help the way she feels she's blown up so your your comment got cut off after she's blown up I don't I don't know what your question is so Josie says I wonder if I will find love I've been separated for three years have been dating a separated man for 10 months but it seems like it's not going anywhere from his side yeah I mean you want to make sure that you're getting yourself into good situations here and so so you know you're wondering if you're going to find love you know I wouldn't be so wondering about it I would be wondering if you're going to be finding love with this guy that you're with and it sounds based on what you've been saying that that you you aren't moving in that direction I'd have to know more about your situation so Cassia says today I said loudly in my car what type of man do I want I was laughing because he's going to be perfect haha but the universe heard that most important I know my standards now best greetings from UK all right so Kavita says how to tell my guy friend who's tries to pass those cross my boundaries in which I have I hate flings for sure well you just have to be really you have to be really stern with them you know and just let him know from like with your boundary that you know hey I really like you as a friend I really value our friendship but I'm not interested in anything more and if you you know continue to try to cross my boundaries I'm gonna cut off our friendship all together even though I really like you I just I'm not I don't want to have to deal with that all the time and so if he's you know if he keeps doing that you have to consider whether it's it's worth it to stay friends with him or not I've had gay friends in the past who have been very very like usually with women if they try to do that kind of stuff and you tell them no they like get embarrassed and freak out and disappear and stop talking to you but with guys they tend to be a lot more persistent with it and I've had that in in my case with gay guys before who are friends of mine who were like hitting on me and I had to be like really upfront with them and be like look dude if you try to touch me again or try to you know tell me this or try to hit on me or whatever like it's gonna be the end of our friendship like don't don't ever do that again right and if you're really really stern with them they'll usually get it so that's that's my suggestion on that one keely says his phone while we're hanging out and we had a fight about her so this is this is in continuation from the earlier one his phone while we're hanging out and had a fight about her and I was kind of mean to him when he apologized should I give him a second chance I don't know half of your comment got cut off oh she's blown up his phone while we're hanging out um I don't know like you'd have to tell me more about your situation and what's going on with him it's hard to know from you're seeing a guy and that's the one of the things that concerns me about what you're talking about is that you're the only thing that you said good about him so far is that you're seeing a guy that's it right you're asking me if you should give this guy a second chance but you haven't said anything good about him yet there's nothing in your comment about how he's great and he treats you well and he's really awesome but he's got this best friend who's blowing up his phone who really likes him you you didn't say any of that first part all your all you said is that you're seeing a guy and so that concerns me a little bit I'd have to know more about what your relationship to him is like how he treats you what's going on with that how attracted you are to him and you know what kind of boundaries you've set with him around her because if he's had this friend of his for a long time and they've been best friends for a long time then it's going to be difficult for you to kind of cut him off right if you had a best friend who's a guy and you knew that he liked you but you didn't care anyway because you're best friends and and you weren't really into him and you had some guy come in and all of a sudden he's like oh you can't be friends with him anymore I don't know how would you feel about that could be good it could be bad it kind of depends on what's going on in the situation um you know as long as he's kind of in a space where he's like I'm not going to jeopardize anything in this relationship and I don't want to but you know I'm I'm like we're just friends or you know whatever as long as he's really committed to it um and it depends on what he said about her and you know whether he's um you know like what kind of a relationship they have and how long they've been friends and all that kind of stuff so I'd need to know more about that situation before I really talked I spoke to it better the words coming out of my mouth sometimes all crazy all right Jennifer says what is a good way to tell a guy that you want exclusivity but not scare him off well it depends on what kind of a situation you're in with a guy are you are you sleeping with a guy yet my suggestion is that you bring up the exclusivity talk no later than getting physically intimate with someone so if you're not physically intimate with a guy yet then my suggestion is that you don't bring it up at all and if you are physically intimate with a guy already my suggestion is that you stop being physically intimate with him until you've had an exclusivity talk with him where he's agreed to it and the best way to have that conversation is just to talk about the fact that you're not seeing anybody else and asking him if he's I mean you can you can either ask him if he's seeing anybody else or you can just say hey you know when I'm sleeping with somebody I don't you know I don't sleep with anybody else while that's happening and I want to make sure for you know for health reasons that the person that I'm sleeping with is doing the same thing um you know if if you decide that you want to sleep with somebody else or that you're interested somebody else that's fine but I want to make sure that you let me know first and so that uh you know we don't end up so so that I know what kind of a situation I'm getting myself into and so if if you come from it that way and I know what I just said is going to freak out a lot of women because I just said you know it's okay if you go and you know decide that you want to sleep with somebody else but just realize that you're you're setting up a situation where you're allowing him freedom right and if you know if he wants to go and do something he's going to go and do something regardless and so if you're saying hey that's fine if you decide that that's what you want to do that's fine but you know we're cutting this off if you do do that then um you're you're kind of letting him go and do that if that's something that he wants and you're you're you're kind of giving him enough rope to hang himself with and at the same time you're giving him freedom so that he looks at you and he's like man this woman is awesome and I don't want to screw this up and so I'm going to make sure that I get into you know that that I keep her around and that I don't um you know what why would I and if you're doing all the right things and he's the kind of guy that's interested in having something long term with you it won't be a problem anyway that's my point that's my point so Tania says I've been dating this guy for a couple months now and I've been dating this guy for a couple months now and now he's asking me to move in with him and I said no I'm not ready for that kind of mood a move now he's upset and he told me if I'm not moving in with him we're done and I agree we can just be friends was I wrong for not moving in with him help me man no I mean if you're not comfortable with that and you're not ready for that first off if you're looking for marriage and you know you're not uh you know and he's like hey move in with me and you're not in some kind of weird situation where you need to move in with him or something like that then my suggestion is that you you you wait until you have some kind of promise of marriage before you end up moving in with him because you and you know if it's just been a couple months and it's just like you know because because basically what's going to end up happening is he's going to end up getting a lot of his needs met that he wants to get met that men normally would only get met if they were married and so if he's getting those needs met and you're not getting all of your needs met assuming right now that you want marriage which I just had a conversation with some woman the other day about this she's like well what if I don't want marriage and it's like okay great whatever it doesn't matter right and and I'm not advocating that you should or shouldn't want marriage you know I think whatever you want is fine but if you do want marriage then my suggestion is that you don't get into a situation where he's getting all of his needs met and you're not getting all of yours met and so I absolutely don't think that uh it's you're wrong for not wanting to move in with him you know I don't I don't think that you should ever just want to move in with a guy just because he wants to wants you to move in with him and if he's threatening the relationship because you aren't moving in with him that's a huge red flag anyway because he's threatening the relationship and so you don't want to be with a guy who's ready to throw a relationship away completely because you have a boundary right so you put up a boundary and his reaction is to threaten the entire relationship that's a that's a problem that's a big problem and so it's good that you know that now and that you know that that's going to be something that you're going to see more of in the future if he wants something and you don't want it he's going to threaten the relationship and so that's it's good it's good that you know that now and so I you know I don't know what the rest of your situation looks like but yeah I don't think you're wrong at all Mina says hey I am a single mom of two I've been dating these guys for one year now he's intention to marry me but I am scared because he's a divorcee so my question is should I go on marrying him or what are you going to give me so I it's I don't think it's a problem if somebody's a divorcee right like so people get married to the wrong person all the time like half the world right now is like 50 percent or above divorce rates at this point maybe not half the world but a huge portion of the world is above 50 divorce rates so I'm I'm not worried about that I'm I'm worried about you know why did he get divorced I'm worried about how does he treat you I'm worried about you know all the other things that you need to look at to see if he's a good man and a person that you'd want to be married to or not Laura says learning how important it is to share the same realities in a relationship yeah I mean the most important thing you can do is look at his values right so you you want to share values and if you have the same values then you he'll be able to see the two of you being in a relationship for a long time and you'll be able to see the two of you being in a relationship for a long time and you're far less likely to break up because of something big and which is can be a huge problem for a lot of couples which ends up creating like negative emotional experiences which is the leading cause of breaking up a relationship and so you want to share values with each other Monique says how can you tell that he is telling the truth well what's he telling the truth about what's he talking about what are we talking about here what are we talking about here actions speak louder than words depends on what you're talking about usually if it's something that you don't want to hear and you're asking if he's telling the truth you'll usually want to believe it it's something you don't want to hear and if it's something that you do want to hear you'll usually want to be skeptical that's the general rule thumb Phoenix says what if I am interested when my guy friend brings up the marriage subject what if you're interested if your guy friend brings up is do you have a relationship with this guy friend are you interested in getting married to him what are you talking about I'm cheesed out says we had a video uh-huh and he both enjoyed it and then he told me he can't talk to me anymore because he knows I want more we are in different countries your your I was going to his city in a month yeah I mean it sounds like you wanted something more second thing I want to say is that don't do videos right videos can be out there for a long long time and so my suggestions that you don't don't don't make videos with people anymore and find out what somebody's looking for before you start getting involved with them that's my suggestion it's that you talk about those things because if if he's interested in something more he'll he'll be open to having a conversation about it if he's not looking for something more he'll pull away disappear avoid the conversation act like you're aren't talking about it get angry about it all that kind of stuff and so you want to have those conversations early on in the dating experience Rachel Rachel Rache Rachel Racheal Rachel Racheal so bad with names solo for six years last week no intimacy for almost two years just want to say thank you for being so informative on this subject you are welcome Rachel Rachel Rachel Joanne says how to regain respect after having no boundaries in beginning not sure if he will want to pursue a relationship well how you regain respect is to immediately start having boundaries and start talking and start pretending like you are starting all over that's that's my suggestion is that you start like that whole process of things is starting from right now and finding out immediately what's going on and talking to him about those things and starting to have boundaries and doing all of that stuff and doing it immediately and also start looking at yourself in a different way as a woman who actually deserves the things that you want in your life that is what i suggest in terms of doing that it's very important it's very very important to have boundaries and respect yourself it's very important to do that so i'm cheesed out says i've met him in person and i haven't seen him in 1.5 years wow well that is yep okay so Miracell says what if the guy has a friend with benefits and he doesn't want to leave her even though something going on between us well then you should stop seeing him completely and go find a guy who isn't isn't taken phoenix says what my guy friend said was i'm the marrying type and so are you i'd marry you if i ever marry again what does this mean it means that if he ever decides that he wants to get married then that is then you're the type of person that he would want to get married to that's i mean it sounds like it's pretty clear on that it doesn't mean anything more than that doesn't mean that he's trying to get married to you doesn't mean that he wants to get married to you doesn't mean that he's going to propose to you doesn't mean that he's moving towards that it just means that you'd be the person that he'd consider if he did consider it so it's kind of like a carrot on a stick that he's dangling in front of you and that doesn't mean anything doesn't mean you're going to get the carrot is what that means so lisa says what is the progression of dating to long-term relationship to possible marriage i'm in an exclusive relationship for seven months it's been a long time since i've dated and been in a relationship well the progression is that a guy meets you and that you date for about three months after the three month mark usually what happens is you guys start letting down your guards and start revealing who you truly are to each other and start opening up your vulnerabilities and start releasing all your stuff and then at some point between the six-month mark and the like one year one and one year and a half mark he's already figured out that exactly what he wants right so by the one year mark he's definitively figured out what it is that he wants with you and so if he wants to get married he knows that by then and if he doesn't want to get married he knows that by then he might even know that by now since you guys have been together for seven months but it's it's been shown in studies they've actually done studies on this where they found that guys know unanimously usually after the six-month mark what kind of a relationship they want to be with with you being with you and so the progression is that at one point he decides that he wants to be with you forever and that part of his expression of love and showing you that he wants to be with you forever is that he pops a ring on your finger and wants to get married to you that's that's the progression it happens like that and all the other things that happen don't mean anything all the other stuff that happens whether it's meeting his friends meeting your friends and family meeting his friends and family you know living together like all of that stuff none of that stuff you know sleeping in the same bed together cuddling while you fall asleep none of that stuff means that he's moving towards marriage none of it does what happens is that there's a switch that's flipped in a man's mind and he goes from zero to a hundred where he's like been thinking about it and he starts really thinking about it and then he does it and he usually knows that somewhere between six months in a year of being with you and I know that can be shocking because a lot of women have a like step-line progression of how how this stuff works it's not it's not true for most guys so Rhonda says been seeing a guy for almost a year now and I'm kind of worried we have a great time together and sex is wonderful treats me great but he is very private doesn't really communicate during the week a lot he calls and texts sometimes we go places together a lot and have been with all his friends and he's met my family he runs his own business and works a lot I spend weekends at his house and he comes to my house for weekends kind of seen a message on his phone from an axe he's agreed to take her to a concert a few months from now doesn't like social media at all we have plans for events all summer long should I worry I mean yeah I mean that's kind of a weird thing if he's not talking to you about that and he's kind of hiding it and you were for some reason snooping on his phone and you saw that I mean you can always bring up things in an innocent way and talk in an innocent way find out what's going on you know it's one of those things you it says you say that you've been seeing a guy but it doesn't sound like you've you haven't mentioned any of the conversations you haven't talked about being exclusive you haven't talked about being in a committed relationship you haven't talked about any of the important things that I would expect that somebody would say about some guy if they were talking about him seeing or hanging out with some ex at a concert and being worried I'm worried about you because you haven't mentioned any of those things about exclusivity your commitment or any of that kind of stuff so Rhonda says we are together every other weekend yep Lynn says but I think the children suffer most because of divorces yeah children can definitely suffer but children can also suffer from two people who hate each other staying together and being in a horrible relationship together children definitely can suffer through that Judy says is it possible to get a guide back that showed a lot of interest and did all the right things in the beginning long distance yeah it's possible it's definitely difficult to get guys back long distance it's a really challenging thing to do because you're not in person you're not hanging out together you're not talking and so you have to rely a lot on text messages and messenger and potentially voice conversations so absolutely it's possible to have that happen you would need to set it up the right way and you'd have to make sure that whatever it was that you did initially that ended up creating the breakup was removed and you came at it with fresh eyes and created a situation where he felt like he was getting into a new situation but absolutely it's possible Samuel says hi I will like to know what I'm supposed to do if my long distance partner is losing interest I mean we do see one time each month but lately he does not care about planning when next we will meet the best thing that you can do is to lean back is to give him some space and create so there's this thing that I talk about I don't even think I've talked much about the forever woman program so I have a program called the forever woman and you can go get it at the foreverwomanformula.com there should be a link above or below this video about that and it talks about this principle in there that I call the scarcity principle and basically what you want to do is you want to pull back a bit and give them some room give them some space to breathe because usually what ends up happening is somebody will end up kind of smothering men or being around men or a lot of times what women do is when they feel like something is going wrong they end up kind of moving forward and trying to connect and trying to fix things and with a relationship and usually a lot of times it's the exact opposite that needs to happen and so if he if he's starting to lose interest you don't want to start moving forward and trying to connect with him and trying to fix it instead you want to create space and lean back and give him some room to breathe that way he starts missing you again that's what you really want to do and you can learn more about the scarcity principle in the forever woman formula at theforeverwomanformula.com Sarah says is it possible to start a relationship with someone you meet on Tinder in New Year's saw them once and live in two different continents we speak regularly I'm attracted to him yeah I mean it's possible and my suggestion is that you meet people in your own continent that are close by that you can hang out with that you know are real people because there are plenty of fake people on Tinder who are scammers who are trying to you know who are trying to take money from you you it sounds like you've never met this guy before it's going to be very difficult for you to meet up with him my suggestion is that you find other people and start using my program at theforeverwomanformula.com go there pick up that program you can get it for free and start using it Samuel says I was actually applying the lean back technique it worked for a time but now it's like when I stopped applying it and giving him all interest he's backing off and won't reach out consistently yet you're doing something and it worked and you stopped doing it and now you're now he's backing off again so you're so you do something and it works and then you stop doing it and it stopped working my suggestion is that you go back and start doing what worked again that's my suggestion if you don't have my program go pick it up it's changed people's lives absolutely changed lives that's what I say so sissy says I dated a guy on Sunday at the end of the date he asked if I wanted to go on a second date I said sure I'd like to I texted last night he replied immediately he doesn't take the initiative is he really interested well what you need to do sissy is lean back and let him you already said that you're interested you already sent him a text message he replied immediately and you know it's one of those things where I don't know for some reason there's a lot of women in our community who think like so they're like okay there's this interest and now it all needs to happen immediately it's you know it can take a week week and a half for him to start wanting to pursue things even more right like he's interested but he might have things going on in his life right he needs to have an opening he needs to make sure you have an opening he needs to find a match for the two of you and so sometimes it might take a week it might take two weeks for him to set things up so just lean back give him some space let him pursue let him initiate let him create that initiative that you want him to create it and so a lot of women come to me because they are in a situation where they want to be they want to attract a guy who really sees them and loves them and cherishes them and they want to be in a committed relationship that lasts and you know a huge problem in our community and all over the place is that one we are in the hook-up culture right now where men and women are just hooking up with each other and superficial relationships are the norm and the second one is that the second problem is that a lot of times men will end up pulling away and disappearing on them and so all these things combine together it's created a lot of confusion a lot of frustration a lot of women are doubting their own value their own self-worth just doubting themselves in general and many of them feel like they want to give up and so if you're having a hard time with men and dating right now and whatever is going on in your relationship it's not your fault we live in a culture that encourages superficial relationships and discourages anything that's really meaningful but i believe that there's a better way for men and women to get into and stay in committed relationships that last and that's why i put together a proven path that will help you get into the relationship that you want to get into it's called the forever woman and there's a three part plan for you to be successful in your dating life and in your relationships and what this looks like is step one is to believe in your own value step two is to position yourself in value and step three is to communicate from a space of value and communicate your value and so if you're interested in the forever woman program you can sign up for free there's a link above or below this video or you can go to the forever woman formula dot com go there there's a video watch the video to learn about what's in the program and then sign up for our free for the for the program and if you get the forever and you use the principle the principles that are in the forever woman program you'll end up attracting a man who loves and cherishes you he'll pursue you for a committed relationship that lasts and you'll do less work and you'll feel more appreciated and valued by your man and if you don't you'll end up just staying stuck in whatever problems and challenges that you have right now you'll feel like you're doing everything in a relationship only to be taken for granted to have a guy's pull away from you and eventually disappear on you and you'll wonder if you're ever going to get into the relationship that you want to have and I don't want that for you I want you to get into an amazing relationship where you're valued and you're loved and valued and you're loved and you're absolutely cherished and so if you want that as well and you're really serious about it go check out my program the forever woman formula dot com thank you so much for being here with us today you are absolutely the best part of our community our community it's you we have some of the most amazing women in the world a part of our community so thank you so much thank you for trusting in me and allowing me to be a guide for you on this journey to help you get into the relationship that you've always wanted to have thank you so much for being here and I will speak with you again soon take care and good night or good day or good evening or whatever time it is around the world for you right