 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve. Great Gildesleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft makers of Miracle Whip, the salad dressing that's so delicious. It's America's favorite and outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Miracle Whip has a wonderful peppy flavor, a flavor that's neither too sharp nor too mild. It's a flavor most folks call just exactly right. Make your salads taste better than ever before with America's favorite salad dressing, the one and only Miracle Whip. The Great Gildesleeve is fond of saying, if you were going to paint a picture of the most contented home in Summerfield, you couldn't do better than pick his house. It's a busy house and since the twins came, it's a full house. But it seems to be a happy house. Upstairs, Leroy. I've been looking all over for you. What's the matter? Need a little change, do you, my boy? Heck no. I just want to say goodbye to you. Well, goodbye, Leroy. Goodbye, Aunt. Be a good boy. Sure. Aren't I always? Yeah, you'll do. So long, Aunt. What a fine young man loves his old uncle. Oop, loves to slam doors, too. Yeah, well, growing boy. If the hinges come off, we'll nail them back on. My tree, Bronco! We're bathing the twins, Auntie. Bathing the twins? Say, I have to see this. Are they decent? Come in, Mr. Gildesleeve. Well, look at little Miss America in the tub. That's Mr. America. I've got Miss America here wrapped in the towel. Oh, they sure love the water. Well, you're still looking for names. How about naming the boy Johnny after Johnny Weismiller? Yeah, and we can call the girl Esther after Esther Williams. That wouldn't be bad. Here, let me dry off this fellow, Bronco. If you can lift him out, Mr. Gildesleeve, he's getting pretty big. Yeah, don't worry. I can lift him. Oops, sun's in my eye. Ian, out you come, muscle man. You're getting your fancy tie all wet. Yeah, well, the palm trees need the water. Come on, baby. Let me dry your little toes. He's crazy about Mr. Gildersleeve. Yep. Yeah, this little piggy went to market. And this little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy had roast beef. And this little piggy had none. And this little piggy cried wee wee wee wee all the way home. Yeah. Look at him laugh. Uncle, are you drying the baby or amusing yourself? Well, I'll let the proud father take over. I'd better get downtown. Yeah, I've got him, Mr. Gildersleeve. Uncle Mort, you didn't get to shave this morning. We'll be out in a minute. Oh, that's all right, my dear. My fault. I was a little late getting up. I'll get a shave at Floyd's on the way to the office. Ta-da, kiddies. Goodbye, Auntie. Goodbye, Mr. Gildersleeve. See you dinner. Bye, babies. If you want to go, Bronco, I'll finish with the twins. I'll take care of this fella. Pass the talcum, please, Marge. Hold still. You know, Marge, we're pretty lucky to be able to live here with your uncle. It's congenial and we're saving money. I'm happy. A safety pin, Marge. Yeah. We had a bathroom full of babies this morning, huh, Commissioner? Yeah. Cute little rascals. Well, it'd suit me if they sent you downtown for a shave every morning. Well, I sure hated to leave them. We have some great times at home, Floyd. Yeah. You know, I'm pretty lucky to have Marge and Bronco in the twins. You know, I don't know what I'd do without them. You know, George is great for a man to have his family around him. Well, it's nice of him to stick with you. Hey. You, what's this, Floyd? Of course, you've been good to them, and I guess they want to be good to you. What do you mean, Floyd? Well, you know how it is with a young married couple bringing on a family. Like anybody else, they'd rather have a place of their own. You make this sound like they're staying for my benefit. Ha-ha, face it, Commissioner. It's a cinch they ain't staying just for laughs. Right. They stay with me because they want to. Yeah. That's what me and Lovey told her old men. Who? Well, Lovey figured we owed it to the old boy, so we stayed to keep him from being lonely. Oh, my goodness. Lovey and me carried him along. We brought him his slippers, filled his pipe, and a couple of years ago, we moved out. Yeah, I suppose when you left Floyd, he was brokenhearted and lonely. No. We bought him a television set. Yo, Floyd, get on with the shape. Sure. Didn't upset you, did I? Oh, no. Don't let it worry you. Those kids will never move out on you. They got too much respect for their elders. Floyd, get on with the shape. Okay, but don't yell at me. When you come in here, I thought you said you was happy. The idea is I'm able to think about anything else all day. Yeah, I shouldn't listen to that, Barbara. Just because he works so close to the head, he thinks he's a philosopher. I mean, Marjorie and Bronco are staying with me because they like it here. Everybody knows that. Birdie! He must be in the kitchen. Birdie? Hello, Miss Gersliep. That man's got a heart like a rock casting. Now then, Miss Gersliep. Birdie, what are you doing? I've got a cake in the oven, and I'm timely for two verses and three courses of the St. Louis Blues. Oh, my goodness. Now, if you want to see a cake that's done, he has a cake that's done. It's lovely, Birdie. Uh, how are things around here today with everybody? Oh, fine with me. Good. How did it go with Marjorie and Bronco? Do they appear happy when I'm not around? They're hapture. They are. You know how it is with them when they're alone. They laugh and kid with each other. Bill and Coon. Do you think they'd rather be alone, Birdie? Well, they seem to enjoy it. You know what they say about two being a company and three is a crowd. Yes, but... And Birdie don't crowd them. Birdie knows young folks need elbow room, so she don't crowd them. Yeah, I see. Birdie gives them elbow room. She don't crowd them. Yeah, all right, Birdie. Yes, sir. Miss Gersliep, when you came in, did you want something? Never mind, Birdie. I got it. Bronco seemed happy enough during dinner. He included me in all their conversations. They said, pass the potatoes. Pass the meat. Yeah, I wonder if they were just being nice to me. Well, I may as well bring this to a head. I'll have a talk with them while they're both in the living room. Pardon me. Unky, do you have a cold? No, no, my dear. I just wondered if I'd be intruding if I came into the living room. Well, don't be silly. Come on in. Well, I want you two to have plenty of elbow room. What? Take this chair, Mr. Gildersliep. No, no, you look comfortable, Bronco. You are comfortable here, aren't you, Bronco? Yeah, sure. Well, just wondered. Would you like to see the paper, Uncle Mort? Yeah, not especially, my dear. I'll be through with the real estate section in a minute. You? Looking at real estate, are you? Just glancing through it. Gosh, houses are expensive nowadays. Yeah, I wonder if Bronco's trying to break it to be gently. Well, don't you want to read the comics? No, thanks. Unky, what's the matter? You know, nothing. I just feel like sitting. Unky, let me get your slippers. Slippers? That's what you need, Mr. Gildersliep. Your slippers and a pipe. Pipe? Please, no slippers and no pipe. That's just the way Floyd and Lovey treated her father before they moved. Mr. Gildersliep, they tell me a pipe's a lot of company. Uncle Mort doesn't need company. He has us. Well, it's a pleasure to have you. Yeah, I mean, have you. Are you staying home again this evening, Mr. Gildersliep? Yeah, I thought I might stay here by the fireside. Why? I thought I might take Marge to a movie. How about at Marge? Oh, why don't we stay home with Unky? You know, Marge, you don't have to stay home with me. You and Bronco have your own lives to live. Yeah, I realize staying home with me isn't so entertaining. Mr. Gildersliep, you know what you ought to have. You want that Bronco? A television set. Yeah, a television set. Broncos, why don't we save our money and buy him one? Yeah, see here. I won't be that lonely. What's that? Yeah, I have plenty of friends. I don't need a bunch of wrestlers in the parlor to keep me company. Mr. Gildersliep, what are you talking about? Unky, do you feel all right? Yeah, sure. I feel so good I'm going to bed. The Great Gildersliep returns in a moment. Chances are you're planning to have some friends in to lunch soon. And if you're looking for a main dish that'll please them, just try this. Serve plump red tomatoes that you've hollowed out and stuffed with your best shrimp salad. Extra delicious shrimp salad, the kind you're sure to have when you make it with Miracle Whip salad dressing. Miracle Whip has such a wonderful flavor, so lively and teasing that it adds extra taste appeal to any salad. Miracle Whip has a flavor that's neither too sharp nor too mild. It's just exactly right. And it's a truly distinctive flavor too, for Miracle Whip is actually a different kind of salad dressing made from a very special secret craft recipe. This recipe combines the finest qualities of old-fashioned boil dressing and choice mayonnaise to give you the best of both. And beside that perfect flavor, Miracle Whip has a texture that's outstanding. That's because Miracle Whip is blended a special craft way till that fine dressing is smooth as satin. So it's no wonder Miracle Whip is America's favorite salad dressing, is it? No wonder at all that Miracle Whip outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. So whether you're fixing a fancy salad for guests or a planar salad just for the family, make it taste extra good with the salad dressing millions prefer. Smooth, delicious Miracle Whip. Let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. Last night he persuaded himself that Marjorie and Bronco only lived with him to keep him from being lonely. Crushed, he went up to death. Now it's morning, and with a martyr's determination, our water commissioner is out to prove he doesn't have to be pampered and that he can surround himself with plenty of friends. More coffee, Mr. Gildersleeve? No, thanks, Bertie. I have to be getting downtown. I have a lot of people to see today. You seem to feel much better this morning, Anki. Me? Oh, I feel fine, Marjorie. Never better. Oh, I'm glad to hear that, Mr. Gildersleeve. Last night you seemed a little upset about something. Last night? Yeah, I felt fine last night too, Bronco. Never better. Then what did you go to bed so early for? Well, I went to bed early because I'm going to be up late tonight. I'm giving a party. A party, Mr. Gildersleeve? You? Who wants so unusual about me giving a party? You just never do it, that's all. Well, Leroy, I've been neglecting my friends, and I have a lot of them. I'm going to have them all over tonight. We'll want some refreshments, Bertie. Yes, sir. We'd like plenty of sandwiches, pickles, cheese, olives, coffee, cocoa, and Kailak water. The judge will be here. Yes, sir. Yeah, I realize it's short notice. But I have so many social engagements coming up. I guess I forgot to mention it. Yes, sir. Is there any way Bronco and I can help? No, no, thank you very much. About the best way for you and Bronco to help my dear is to get off by yourselves. Perhaps you'd like to go to that movie you were talking about last night. Well, we don't want to run off. That's what I want you to do. I mean, well, I'll be busy with my own friends. You don't want to stay around here. The house will be pretty full. Well, Marge, I guess we can take a hint. Let's go to the movies. Yeah, fine idea. Then we won't be getting in each other's way. It's hard for me to be too faced. I'm going to party tonight. Well, Leroy, I owe it to all my friends. Yeah, I've been neglecting them. They've all been saying they haven't seen enough of me lately. Like who? Well, all the people who are coming over tonight. I want all my friends with me tonight. This isn't like you. What's going on? You're party, Leroy. But why? Well, you're no use telling Leroy all my troubles. Isn't anybody's birthday? Yeah, I know, but I just want to be gay. I have to get back in the social world. Party, party, party. Yeah? Yeah, I want gaiety, life, laughter, laugh, clown, laugh. What does that mean? Nothing. Leroy, please stop asking so many questions. Okay. You can run along now, my boy. I want you to stop in Pee-Vee's and invite him to the party. You mean you haven't invited anybody yet? Well, no. It's sort of a surprise party. What a character! You may be short notice, but everybody will come. I can count on my friend. Hello, Pee-Vee. Hello, Mr. English, please. What can I do for you this morning? Pee-Vee, I'm giving a big party at my house tonight. You don't say. Came in to buy the ice cream, did you? No, the refreshments are taken care of, Pee-Vee. But I want you to come. A lot of my friends will be there. Your friends, too. They don't eat ice cream. They're not friends of mine. I'm counting on all the jolly boys. Have you seen Judge Hooker? Since he stepped into the telephone booth. Oh, is that the judge in there? Couldn't tell. The glass is all steamed over. He's been in there quite a while. What are you doing? Trying a case? He's trying. Trying to get a date with Miss Matterhorn. The judge is squiring her now, I believe. I know, Pee-Vee. I better get to the judge first. Judge! Oh, Horace! I'm suffocated. I better open the door. Gildy, close the door. Sorry, Judge. Well, I have to talk to you. Gildy, I have Miss Matterhorn on the wire. Yeah, I know, but... Hello, Elsie. Sorry, I was being interrupted. Shall we say 7.30 tonight? Yes. We might go to the roller rink and watch them skate. In fact, I might get on skates myself. Please, Judge, don't make any plans. Now, Elsie, I will if you will. There was a time I could waltz on skates. You know goat on skates. Oh, yes, I can, Elsie. Tidy, tidy. Tidy, tidy. Judge! I'm giving a party. Oh, boulder dash. Close the door. But, Judge... No, no, not you, Elsie. I'm getting confused. Perhaps I better ring off. Goodbye, Elsie. Hello, Gildy. Yeah, I'm sorry to tug at your coattails like that, Judge. But I wanted you to come to my party tonight. Gildy, as you insisted on hearing, I have an engagement. Good, Judge. I've counted on you, old friend. At any other time, I'd be most happy to. But tonight, I fear it's impossible. Goodbye, gentlemen. Tidy, tidy. Bye. Bye, bye. You're a fine friend he turned out to be. Well, he'll miss a good time, won't he, Pete? Well, I don't know, Mr. Gildersley. You like? I can't come to your house tonight. Beavey, you have to come. Well, that's your idea versus Mrs. Peavey's. Oh, my goodness, why can't you come? I'd like to, but Mrs. Peavey wants me to stay home and read to her. We're just starting around the world in 80 days. Yo. Peavey, the trouble with you, you don't put your foot down. You don't have a mind of your own. No, I wouldn't say that. Well, never mind. The house will be full anyway. I have plenty of friends. It's almost eight o'clock. I haven't found one person who can come over tonight. Yeah, I guess it's just a coincidence that everybody's busy. I know everybody likes me, I think. Well, Marjorie and Bronco will never know. I'll get them off to the movie and mess up the house a little bit, so they think I've had a party. Yeah, I'm gonna get my suit brushed off. Yeah, darn blue surge catches anything. Hi, Aunt. Yo, hello, Leroy. Hey, you look pretty sharp. Thank you, my boy. Have a new tie? Yeah, bought it just for tonight. Who's coming over, Aunt? Well, I've been inviting people all day. Judge Herger coming? Yeah, well, no, not the judge, Leroy. He had a previous engagement. Oh, well, Mr. Peavey will be there. Yeah, I don't think so, my boy. Yeah? Other than Mr. Mosul will be here. He's a good guy. He never misses a party. No, Floyd won't be here either. The barbers are bowling tonight. Darn athlete. He's coming, the chief. Leroy, sit down, my boy. There's something I have to tell you. Yeah? Sit down here beside me, on the bed. Gosh, don't this sound serious? It is, my boy. We're going to lose Marjorie and Bronco and the little twins. We are? Why? Well, they want to move away, to a place of their own. I haven't heard them say anything like that. Yeah, maybe they haven't said so, but I can tell. Your old uncle isn't stupid. They're just staying here to keep me from being lonely. Gosh, things will never be the same again. Well, that's life, my boy. We love them. We'll miss them. But they have their own lives to live. You understand that, don't you, my boy? I guess so. Uncle. Yes, Leroy? I'll never leave you. That's very comforting, Leroy. Yeah, then, I want you to help me. We can't let Marjorie and Bronco know there aren't a lot of people coming over tonight. And after they leave, you and I'll have a party. Bertie has dozens of sandwiches. I'm not very hungry, uncle. Gosh, I was just getting used to the twins' crying. No, Leroy. We're going, auntie. Yo, I'm Marjorie. Yo, auntie. To the movies, Mr. Gilman. Fine, great. What's the matter with Leroy? I got something in my eye, can't you see? Well, let me look at that eye, Leroy. No, Marjorie, I'll look after Leroy. You and Bronco run along. My guests will be arriving any minute. The joint will be jumping. There'll be a lot of people here tonight. And every night, practically. Mr. Gildersleeve, I've been talking to Marge today. Who? I think this is the time to tell you that... well, I think we should find a little place of our own. Well, I've been wondering when you come to that conclusion. Probably a very good idea. After all, we can't live together forever. Can we, Leroy? Heck, no. You... You understand, don't you, Anki? Yeah, of course I understand. It's the thing you should do. In fact, I want you to go. Me too. Well, Mr. Gildersleeve, if that's the way you feel, I guess it's the way we feel. I guess it's all set then. Yeah, all set. Of course, we'll try to see each other often. We'll all be happier this way. I suppose you're right, Uncle Morris. Yeah, he's right. Yeah? Yeah, I'm right. We'll all be happier. What, Leroy? I'm done. Why, you spilled the beans. What's this all about? Well, it's... It's Leroy. Oh, Anki. Well, my dear, I'm trying to make it easy for you to leave. And we're trying to make it easy for you to be with your friends. What is this? You have your own life to live, Mr. Gildersleeve. We thought we were cramping your style by staying here. And I thought you thought I'd be lonely. And I thought, oh, Anki, we really didn't want to leave. Well, I don't want you to leave. But where would we go? Oh, Uncle Morris, all been a misunderstanding. We love you. Well, now we have a better understanding than ever. Mr. Gildersleeve, where all that people come from? They're all here, Bertie. They are? Just the family? Yes, the family. Well, I've got 4,000 families out down to. I'm hungry. Let's all stay home. We didn't want to go out tonight anyway. No, I kept hoping Anki invited us to his party. Well, you're invited. Bye, George. Life is good. Great Gildersleeve will be right back. For you who like to serve salads but don't have time to fuss with fancy recipes, here's an idea that's simple and simply delicious. On each individual salad plate, put a slice of canned pineapple. Surround the pineapple with watercress and 3 or 4 ripe olives. And top the pineapple with delicious Miracle Whip salad dressing. Miracle Whip makes even the simplest salad taste special. Because Miracle Whip has such a wonderful flavor. So lively and teasing, yet not a bit too sharp. And it's a distinctive flavor too. Try it, won't you? Enjoy the salad dressing millions prefer. The one and only Miracle Whip. This is a life. Oh, nothing like having all the family together. Is there, Mr. Gildersleeve? No, sir. Right, George. I'm glad that gang I invited couldn't come tonight. Well, you wanted them over, didn't you, Anki? Me? No. Yover. Who's that at the door? Butting into our evening. Hello, Gilders, surprise. George Hooker. Hi, Commiss. Floyd. We come to the party. PB's outside with Mrs. PB and Lovie's here. What? Yes, and I brought Miss Matterhorn and some of her friends. We figured it was lonely, Commiss, so I invited ten guys from the bowling alley. They're all coming with their wives. Oh, my goodness. One for the cellar, folks. See you next week. I hope. Played by Woodard Waterman. The show is written by Paul West, John Elliott, and Andy White. With music by Robert Armbruster. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Roth, Lillian Randolph, Arthur Q. Bryan, Dick Crenna, Lee Heal, Earl Ross, and Dick LeGrand. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilders League. Here are the winners of the third week of Parquet Margarine's great $83,500 name the Twins Contest. For entries postmarked before midnight, March 31st, glamorous new Ford victories go to... Mrs. Edwin Pearson, St. Charles, Illinois. Mrs. Minnie Smith, Wichita, Kansas. Mrs. J.E. Ruth, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Mrs. Jenny Lou Larimer, Nashville, Tennessee. A bonus winner. Winners of other prizes will be notified by mail. Still time to enter the fifth and final week's contest. Your entries must be postmarked before midnight this Saturday. Entries must include your names for Marge and Broncos Twins, your own name and address and your grocer's name and address, and the red end flap from a package of Parquet Margarine. To try for a $500 cash bonus as well as a first prize, send two Parquet red end flaps. Mail your entries to Parquet Margarine, box 6799 Chicago's 77 Illinois. Hurry! Your last opportunity to win one of those glamorous new Ford victories ends at midnight this Saturday. Hear the Falcon every Sunday over this station. Check your newspaper for time of broadcast, and listen next Sunday as the Falcon solves the case of the shopkeeper's gun. Groucho Marks plays You Bet Your Life on NBC.