 Humans are naturally social beings, and it is pretty intuitive for us to find somebody to lean on when life gets tough, when we need a job to get done, when we want to learn and acquire more knowledge, or when everything does not make sense. Whether you believe life has no inherent meaning and purpose, or a hidden metaphysical reality governs our mere existence, I think we can all agree that we can find some meaning and purpose and friendship. And aside from the most prominent questions philosophers have dealt with for millennia like what's the nature of reality, of our minds, why are we here? Friendship is one of the focal points of human existence. One of the most influential philosophers of all time, who had several things to say about friendship, is no other than Aristotle. I will have to discuss his thoughts in a bit. But first, I'd like to share some thoughts about two pivotal moments that had me thinking more about friendship. One was after I graduated from college, and the second was during the pandemic. If there is one major event that drastically changed our lives in the past few years, it would be the pandemic. It's one thing that many people have suffered financially and physically, but more than that is its undeniable effect on our mental health. Just last year, I've seen that some people felt they had lost their friends, making them feel more alone and unvalued. Some people thought they lost half of their meaningful events in life because they can't go out with friends. Some felt like they're just buried in the house watching the news and stuff, which is understandable. As for myself, it's a win-win situation because I'm used to being alone because I'm an only child. I'm not that extroverted. I mean, I can be loud sometimes, especially to my closest friends. But hanging out with people for too long is kind of mentally draining for me. So the pandemic setup was ideal for me, but not for everybody, of course. Another moment that got me thinking deeply about friendship was after I graduated college. For a moment, I saw that my circle of friends got smaller and smaller from time to time. Not that I have too many friends anyway, but that's just fine for me, to be honest. But to those who are asking, are they real friends if they're not in our lives anymore? I had a great understanding of why it happens, and I want to share with you the thoughts of Aristotle in one of the famous books he wrote more than 2,000 years ago, the Nicomachean Ethics. But first, a little appreciation for the man behind the book. Aristotle was a Greek philosopher during the classical period in ancient Greece. His writings had contributed to the areas of metaphysics, mathematics, science, psychology, politics, logic, aesthetics, music, and ethics. He was also the founder of Delicium, a school where he taught the principles of Aristotelianism and was considered the first formal teacher during his time. For 20 years, he had been the student of Plato and a good friend. He was also the teacher of Alexander the Great. For almost three years, he shaped young Alexander's thinking on everything from leadership to natural science, philosophy, and mathematics. But today, let's focus on one of his famous writings, the Nicomachean Ethics. It consists of 10 books about happiness, virtue, morals, and justice, in light of his philosophical understanding of the nature of reality, a rich two out of 10 he dedicated to friendship. Aristotle thought that it is one of the true joys in life, and a life well lived needed to be built on it. He's also famous for asserting that without friends, no one would want to live. Even if he had all other goods. But why did Aristotle think friendship is essential if he knows that we are responsible for our own happiness? In poverty, as well as in other misfortunes, people suppose that friends are their only refuge. And friendship is a help to the young and saving them from error, just as it is also to the old, with the view to the care they require and their diminished capacity for action stemming from their weakness. It is a help also to those in their prime in performing noble actions. For two going together are better able to think and to act. Does it seem to be true? Going back to the question about friendship, on why we encounter short-lived friendships throughout our lives, some were not so meaningful and were just a spur of the moment. Aristotle made three important distinctions to the different types of friendships we encounter in life. The friendship of utility, the friendship of pleasure, and the friendship of virtue. The friendship of utility is a type of bond in which two or more people receives a benefit in exchange. Whenever the service ends, so does the relationship that brought them together. It's not permanent in nature and it's based on the usefulness of the fellowship. This type of friendship is very common in business, work, and even school. The sense of friendship is there. You both help and enjoy the times you've been together. But once the situation changes, like you move to another workplace or transfer it to a different school, so does the nature of the bond changes. Another accidental form of friendship is the friendship of pleasure. The source of friendship is often more emotional. It may not be necessarily helpful or useful, but it does feel good. It doesn't have to be sexual, although it can be. It may also be something like those people who can make you laugh and forget all your problems, probably with a few shots of alcohol, a long ride, and fun nightlife. The friendship is there as long as the parties gain fun and enjoyment through mutual interest. But as soon as the similarity of the preferences changes, so does the level of the friendship. These two are the most common types of friendships we get mostly. The people we meet out of utility and pleasure tend to change over time, as the phases they're in change the course and their purpose for many reasons. But the most important of all is the friendship of virtue. Unlike the two mentioned earlier, this is very hard to find. You may or may not even see them for the rest of your life. Probably that's why some people think negatively about the concept of friendship. Aristotle, however, didn't find the accidental friendships as bad. He was just describing the very nature of friendship as it is. And he even thought these unexpected friendships were just normal in life. But he saw that the friendship of virtue was the best among the three. This relationship is based on a mutual understanding of morals and virtues that the other person believes. You see this friend for who they are, not just because of utility and pleasure. There's a level of goodness attached to this form of relationship as to why it is the most preferable and often long-lasting. Both people care for each other's welfare and growth and wish for their best version in life. Aristotle in Book 8 Chapter 3 said, Now these reasons differ from each other in kind. So therefore, do the corresponding forms of love in friendship. There are therefore three kinds of friendship, equal in number to the things that are lovable. For with respect to each other is a mutual and recognized love, and those who love each other wish well to each other in that respect in which they love one another. In short, the friendship of virtue is what we can call true friendship. I think nowadays it is essential to distinguish which of your friends falls into the category of these three to know our limitations and expectations of everyone in our life. By understanding the nature of friendship, we may also refrain from being disappointed whenever we feel like our circle is getting smaller. To be honest, I think the smaller the circle, the lesser the problem. Aristotle also believed that we should find virtuous friendships throughout our lives. Not only it is beneficial for our mental health, but a world that knows the value of friendship built through virtue can make life worth living for.