 So I want everybody to shout away at the count of three and I want people to kind of just like Get it like because the stock cannot happen So at the count of three we all can say away, okay, three See I was taking out the interviewers. Oh, you were it one two three A little louder, this is too weak. Come on, they're like what 50 people in the room right now? We have stronger voices, right? See you're not being designing as we go along. Okay, so one two three Another topic that you might have heard a lot with the last two days But I'm going to try to bring it rest in it and hopefully keep you in each So what I'm going to talk about is a little different design, but it applies to design because Everything I'm going to talk about now is something I learned as a designer I'm going to talk about how you can be more enteric towards your team members and because build a culture That's more well rounded by bringing this ux principles to your team so So let me start by kind of explain a little bit what I mean by ux and empathy So for me ux and empathy are very interlinked. They're like, you know the same Two sides of the same point. You cannot do good ux without being empathetic and empathy just in itself without translating into an action It's just a feeling that you probably have walking around the city without any action So but what is also for me very synergic about ux and empathy is the vulnerability that comes with that When you're being empathetic, you are kind of showing a side of yourself and letting people kind of see that And being emotional is one way to go about it The same is true about design or ux because when you're talking about ux You are kind of letting your design go out in the wild and hoping that people will not trash it So it's there's a vulnerability that's associated with it. And that's what we're going to talk about So I'm going to use these terms very interchangeably throughout the presentation So in this presentation in this context, we mean by the same for me So So let's start by this is the dictionary definition of what empathy means It's the ability of being able to walk in someone's shoes, right? It's now the different kind of empathy. So this is what cognitive empathy means For me, empathy is a very humanistic trait. It's something that we humans are blessed with And it it should go beyond how we care about a user It should also go into how we develop processes and build teams and that's kind of what I'm going to talk about And this quote by Whitney Hess who's an executive coach and A designer kind of sums what I'm going to talk about because if you design the product without really designing the team It's worth nothing. You can't sustain a rock star product without designing for the culture and the team So next I'm going to pick four ux principles that I'm sure all of you will be familiar with And I'm going to type the story that happened with me very early on in my career And and I'm going to just say how I use those principles to get a navigate my way through that So ux is a conversation and I think building culture is the same thing as the rich people We're always striking a dialogue with the users We're trying to understand what the goals are what do they want to do and then like fulfill those goals with the designs Building culture is very similar So let me tell you a story and then we'll get into principles about it So after my master's I I did my first job It was awesome. My first manager was a gem of a person She was what I call my human shield She was the person who watched for me in all the meetings like first few weeks were crazy for me I was presenting to weekly and all and I should scare it was like my first job, right? So but she was always she always had my bad back Eight months in long story short. She left to pursue another career and I got another manager And because that was my first experience with a manager. I expected the same things Well, all day long it was not the same this guy a little empathy towards me or that at least that's what I thought initially And things got started really quickly every meeting we would be in I would feel I would be feeling inadequate It's a feeling we all must have had at some point I didn't feel like what we're doing is not making a difference or we're not able to get to the problem Like what is wrong? Why is this person not liking me? So I was convinced either he thought I was really incompetent or he hated me and both of the scenarios seem really odd to me because like hey I was going to find like a couple of months back and I don't know what changed Right, so it got really bad where I was on the verge of quitting like I was like, I don't know I can't deal with this there's too much negativity in my productivity went down I was just like getting to work was stressful I talked to this person on my team who I considered a mentor and I told her my side of the story It was like hey, this is what's happening. I feel shitty about it. I don't know how to go beyond it And she said something very very Simple but something I hadn't done she was like how you told him how you feel about it I was like, isn't that obvious like doesn't he realize that he's hurting me? Like that's how we expect really more people to understand What we're feeling about having to talk about it. He was talking about his little heart It kind of also makes things more concrete So I mulled over it for a day and I realized well, I've actually never actually told him That hey, I'm not happy with how things are going. I'm just expecting to figure it out So that's what I started off with This one principle that we all have kind of like, you know, this is one thing that's taught to us understand the problem What is the problem? Is my view of the problem his view of the problem? Does he think even there's a problem? Maybe he's not even realizing there's a problem, right? So in that case, I started that way. I need to figure out what the problem is And I didn't really have anything to lose. I was saying he was ready to quit So I was like, okay, I'm going to try to find a problem So what understanding the problem and you all know that helps us do is sometimes we actually find that the problem with our Initially is not the right problem to be chasing. There's probably more problems. That's not the right angle And that's what I started doing. I tried to try to understand more of his motivations And what I did next which is The hardest thing of all is ask for help I I took him out for a coffee and I was like, hey, so this is happening Maybe I'm feeling bad about things and you know, can you help me? That's the hardest thing because it does two things One, it formalizes the thing that there's a problem. You're accepting that there's a problem And you're basically not pushing it under the rug. If the problem is really bad people usually If it's too less people, we have a lot of thinking this is the way things are supposed to be The second thing that does when you ask for help is we're basically saying I'm not able to do it on my own. I need someone's help And that's culturally in a lot of companies. It's something that's not promoted because asking for help Means you're saying you're weak. You're not competent enough to do it on your own But I actually look at it very differently and this is something that we start to as in that school In a conflict management course because when you ask for help, you're basically putting down the person in the driver's seat You're asking the person, hey, this is what I'm feeling. Can you help me do that? And the person is more likely to help you rather than if they were wrong Or when you point a finger, you're just like you get into this argument and that's about it It doesn't move anywhere. So this is one strategy I've learned at grad school As a designer and I've practiced it throughout When you have an issue, ask for help. You're not going to get any brownie points, any bonuses To figure it out on your own. But when you have help, you have one, you make it to an understanding That understanding that there's a problem and second, you have somebody to work with Like we all design this. Nobody wants to work in the silo. So I do it when we're dealing with people So next what I did was Next what happened once I communicated this with my manager is It's something very interesting. He realized he was dealing with somebody he didn't understand And that whole principle that the user does not need He was dealing with me thinking I was him or somebody like him or somebody that he had dealt with in the past And he was not paying attention to my needs and what I needed So his problem was he had not managed many things and most of the people he had worked with With his peers. So this guy who's 45, he's except Sorry, expect expert. Expecting a 24 year old to kind of work with him on that And that's where I was like, oh, I need mentorship. I need Kind of you know, when I'm doing something wrong, I want to know that I'm doing something right Or wrong. I need feedback. I need mentoring. I just don't want you to tell me here This is not good. We'll figure it out because I need that guidance And for him also it was a huge learning thing. I he said, you know, one thing my girlfriend's going to really thank you because You're kind of making me a little bit more human, right? So I think it's it's very necessary to have those conversations because sometimes another person doesn't realize Your point of view, you know, I realize their point of view and there's empathy that's needed at both ends Whether you're a manager or somebody under somebody and and then that's when you realize that This person is not really, he doesn't wake up thinking, hey, I'm going to wake up this morning and I'm going to make life Help for this person, right? I don't think anybody is not even in this room or outside of it But when you look at somebody else's point of view realize, okay, they're just reacting based on the information They have and that's about it. So when you open the conversation when you ask for help You realize all of these things So, okay, so we had established there was a problem and he had realized he was dealing with somebody he didn't understand So the next step was communicating what went wrong While doing that So while doing that, this is the principle that's not the most Clarity above all So when we're looking at this image, what is it that stands out for you? Please don't say pizza Okay, so you actually last on the right thing the two sentences here about the pizza company one is This is the best pizza in town and this is only after Best pizza in town. I don't know. Did anybody buy that? It was the best pizza in town The goal is best me best of what is it best of Jami chalk is it best of chicago is it best of what? But home may be yes. They understand it's something that's with me at home. It's more specific. It's more related So the first thing when you're having these conversations, especially the harder ones Be specific because be very Don't use jargon's don't don't assume you know your target audience and don't talk to them in a language that they probably don't understand Using words like best awesome But that's good as appreciation for a while But when you're doing a critique or when you're actually trying to understand his time saying awesome doesn't really do anything Or saying god, this is not good enough Compared to what what am I solving? So when we started having those conversations What he realized was he was not giving me specific feedback He would either say it was awesome or he would even say who figured it out So there was no midway, right? And that's what I needed at that point to figure out how to get those answers from being It's okay to figure it out to go into awesome Um, and I mean somebody say hey Trust me versus when somebody takes you to that path where you actually trust them on their own I think it's a very different journey if a website says trust me. I don't think anybody's gonna be on that so um The second step when you're having a conversation is be very very credible be very very consistent If you tell me something one day if you like a design and you say, oh, this is awesome, you know But next thing you're like, oh, no, this is not that great anymore You really don't know what changed in that day, right? What happened? Like I just showed you the same things Say you're pleasant to have a conversation If I don't if I just there's something not credible about me or not consistent about me You're not gonna trust me as designers. We're always creating designs that our users can trust, right? And you do that by being consistent in how we are presenting information So that they remember what they saw in the first thing versus last thing and that's what would cost the trust So we should do that and we're talking because consistency create connections Remember the human chain manager I talked about I want to work with her for eight months But but the consistency in the credibility like took me so far and I trust that she's still a good mentor of me I always look up to her for answers because I understand that she's spacious coming from and you've got that equation going This is one thing that especially I've seen managers Or even me as designers tend to think kind of we tend to solve for others Right if I see this is a problem You're like, oh, this is a solution, right? That doesn't help me because when I'm going to be in that situation again I really don't know where to go from there, right? But once you learn how to go navigate from point A to B You can do it no matter who's your manager Who are you dealing with? Is it p.m. Is it dev? So as as people who are navigating other people Give them ways to figure out solutions don't get them like nobody wants to be in the sales pressure We go to this because you want to run away at least I want to run away with somebody says do this because I want to come to I want to make my own mistakes and come to my own solutions So as managers as those conversations I think this is really good The last thing which is again like a UX mantra, right context is the king If I just come up to you and say hey, you know what you really hurt me What are you going to do about it? You don't even know what you did to hurt me, right? There's this friend episode that all this thing I don't know how many of you watch films, but there's a character called Phoebe and she gets upset with Ross And she doesn't tell him why and he spends the poor guy spends like months Trying to figure out why she's upset and in the end she says I forgot I don't remember what I'm saying, right? So he couldn't really get to her without understanding what was at that So when I started these conversations with my manager and again as a UX storytelling is something that comes very uniquely to us I started giving specific instances saying hey this meeting happened and that's what happened And you know, this is what I felt about it So what do you think maybe he has a justification for what I did and I can help I can be more empathetic towards where he's coming from or he understands my point of view and can be more inclusive about it So he started doing these things once we have this conversation Very much every week where I would give him feedback on the way things have happened over the last week And he would kind of give me either like why he did what he did or say, okay I get me just saying and try to fix it So so the bottom line of all this is This is like if there's one thing I want you to walk away with this Have these conversations it seemed very obvious It seemed something that it's very rude but we forget to have these conversations with the people that really matter So, you know, next time you are in a sticky spot Try to put yourself in other person's shoes try to understand the problem Ask for help. That's totally okay. It doesn't make you weak It just shows actually if somebody asks me for help I feel like really good about it and actually feel somebody values what I'm saying So I it like what I said it puts you in the driver's seat And being clear about what you're saying be very very specific Don't do his job and don't be wishy-washy about either as a manager what you feel about your subordinates Or somebody who is talking up to your manager in the right context of all this So my hand will seem so obvious right like we should be all doing it But since even then I hear so many stories where people feel like the managers we get The PM doesn't get them why are we not doing it because it takes for work There's something that's never going to be a part of your care or you know your Weakly quarterly goals or whatever you have It's something that needs to come from a country needs to drill from top bottom Talk to bottom and it's something that people need to start practicing And it takes effort it's time consuming but once you get that going and make it in it to your How you conduct your experiences it gets really easy And the reason why this is all very critical for us especially as designers or product owners is Because once you become this person who's kind of interacting with everybody and trying to understand the point of view You become the crystalline right you are the one who has everybody's buy-in because they all have like Equations you become the move that's connecting everything which is a product for you And then you can build better products if you're more efficient You can help mitigate any issues that might come up and this this really helps in team building and part of it So this is like the luck I thought I might leave you with So as you and people you all say like great experiences are things that people don't even notice right If I actually feel like if I go for a user research and they don't say anything about the design I feel like it's awesome right it work for what they want to do That's best but great teams are something people won't forget my first manager Like I said only work with her for eight minutes But she's somebody that is my benchmark always and I always try to either form those kind of bonds with people or either Get to that level because I know there is better out there. So if you have a great team a great work culture It will go maybe on the part. It will be like a legacy for you So thank you So you mentioned about consistency So consistency in how you behave with people right so I've seen certain managers Who are really Nice when you talk to them in person and I have that experience first hand actually Doesn't mean you can't be nice when you talk to them They wouldn't point out anything but you go in a team meeting and they're saying something very different right So it's the consistency in how you I see something here And it's also like if I understand this is how we're going to react to things I can better prepare myself I can cater in my own way But if I don't understand what you want, it's going to be always like a mystery thing Sometimes you'll be happy sometimes you'll be sad and I will be why You can only search and then see why Great awesome. I hope you guys practice this and would love to get anything back on this This is something I believe as a designer We all should do so Thank you