 In today's video, I'm going to walk you through five simple steps to help you to become a better listener. Whether you want to listen to friends, whether you're a parent who wants to listen to their child, a teacher who wants to listen to their pupils, whoever you are, if you want to improve your listening skills, listen up. So point number one is commit to listening. So this is about when you want to listen to someone, actually being really mindful in your listening and getting rid of all the distractions. Put your phone down, move the computer away, focus completely on the person to whom you are listening. Make them the most important thing in your world right now. You don't necessarily have to listen for a really long period of time, but you do need to listen with your whole self. So commit to listening. Number two is shut up. Silence is your friend here. So don't feel like you've got to be constantly interjecting in the conversation. Just be quiet. Allow the person who you're listening to to talk. And particularly if you are touching on some pretty difficult topics and the person who's opening up might be talking about these things for the first time, they might be really struggling with how to actually phrase that. Maybe they literally don't have the words. Maybe these thoughts are in such a jumble in their head that it's going to take a moment for them to disentangle them. Or maybe they're worried about what you're going to think of them and it's taking a while to kind of build up the bravery to actually say these words. So just be quiet. Give them a little bit of space. Lean into the silence. And remember that when your role is that of listener rather than the person speaking, if you embrace the awkward and sit with the silence, most likely the person who you are listening to will eventually jump in and fill that gap. We feel really awkward in a silent room when the conversation drops. And so if we just sit with our awkwardness, then eventually they will continue talking and they will begin to pick apart the things that they're finding challenging to talk about. Number three is get curious. So when you're listening to someone, if you put all other thoughts out of your mind and you actually just sort of step into their world a bit and really hear what they have to say, then you will inevitably begin to have some questions about what it is that they're telling you. Tap into that curiosity and ask those questions. Even if they're quite difficult or you're not quite sure if you should go there, asking these kind of questions that really begin to pick apart someone's experience and story and they're telling of things, will help them to realise that A, you are actually listening, you can't ask intelligent questions unless you're listening. So it shows that you're listening, but B, it shows that you care and that you're interested. And it will help you to kind of ensure that that conversation doesn't dry up and that you are getting answers to questions that are arising for you. Often something will make perfect sense to the person who is speaking, but we're left with loads of questions. So ask them. Four, and thanks to Stephen Covey for this one, from Seven Habits for Highly Effective People, is listen to understand. So rather than listening with a view to responding, which is what happens much of the time, if you just stop and take note of what happens in many of your conversations day to day, you will notice that when someone is speaking, you are already a step ahead in the conversation and you are thinking, not about what they're saying, about how you are going to respond. So very often we listen with a view to responding. To be a really good mindful listener, we want to listen instead to understand. So don't worry about what it is you're going to say next. Don't worry about what turn this conversation is going to take, but rather just hang on every word of the person who is speaking. Try to really, really understand what it is that they're saying and step into their world. And finally, number five is walk and talk or do and talk. So often conversation will flow a lot more naturally if we're doing something alongside somebody. And really often good listening can happen if we are busying our hands or our feet with other things. So you might choose to draw with someone or to otherwise create with someone whilst you are listening to them, or really simply just get up and go for a walk walking and talking. When we're walking, particularly if we kind of get outside and get away from all the other kind of distractions that we might have and we clear our minds a little bit connect with nature, we're in a really good position to do really good listening. And also when you're walking or doing and talking and listening, then that lends itself a little bit more to these silences and these quiet moments in the conversation, which will sometimes naturally occur when we've got these difficult topics going on. And you'll feel more able often to lean into those silences if you're actually walking alongside someone. When it goes quiet like that, if you're kind of walking, that companionable kind of walking alongside both literally and metaphorically is a really important part of listening. Sometimes we don't need to tell anyone anything, we just need to stay there, not judge them and continue to walk by their side and then they will feel really truly seen and heard. So they go five tips for brilliant listening.