 Hey, it's been a while and unfortunately for some of you, I'm still here, I'm still alive, yada, yada. I'm gonna do a bit of an update, since I haven't done one in a while, sort of explain the why that absence happened, what I've been dealing with and so on. So the last videos that I have done at all, I mentioned that I was going downstate to help out at the earliest parts of the pandemic, that I, about three or four months down there dealing with things, as I think I have prior medical experience. And a whole clusterfuck of things after that point. I, part of medical work is you wind up losing patients occasionally, and that's always sucks to deal with. A particular one wound up being, I can't, I can't go too much into details, but essentially this person could not make decisions for themselves, and so there's a whole process dealing with that. And due to what this individual has, you would over time see gradual decline in the muscle tone, all throughout the body, but that includes the throat, which eventually manifests as swallowing problems. Inevitably, this individual did, started choking on food fairly often. Well, in very pedantic terms, it would not be considered choking yet, but that all goes down the wrong pipe cough a few times. It's not considered choking at that point technically, because they're still airflow, but it's obviously not good. That's a warning sign that choking is going to start happening. And so, after a few weeks of complaining about this, which should not have taken that long, should have been after the first few times, get an appointment for a speech pathologist to do a swallowing valve. Sounds a little bit weird. Usually it's the speech pathologist who does a swallowing valve. It doesn't seem all that connected, but when you're dealing with the intricate muscles in the throat as part of speech, it actually winds up making a lot of sense. Do that appointment. Speech pathologist completely agrees that this individual can't swallow appropriately anymore, and it's going to be problematic. She recommended a G-tube, a gastric tube. You take a bolus and it goes directly into the stomach. There are a few other possibilities, but that seemed to be the most likely one to do, because there was nothing wrong with the guy's stomach. Otherwise, you'd go for like a J-tube or something similar, which puts it into the joint arm, which is part of the intestines. A G-tube is usually what they wind up doing. As a temporary measure in these situations, you are supposed to put the person on a modified diet. And even if they are already on a modified diet, there are special precautions you can put in place that further reduce the risk of choking. The employer that I was working under did not make any changes for several days after the result of this consult. And did not make an appointment for several days after this appointment. Note that I don't mean that they couldn't get a surgery until, say, like a week later, but they called it in that day or the next day. I mean, they didn't even try to schedule the surgery. They just took the files and they were like, okay, just going to keep doing that thing. So, a few days after this appointment, the guy starts actually choking. Not the coughing. I mean, there's an actual blockage air flow is not going through at all. That's the point in what you've got to do the Heimlich maneuver, do CPR, all that lovely stuff. So, that winds up turning into an ordeal in which I'm doing CPR. And you've got the other person that was there was freaking out LPN who was there freaking out. She's not used to dealing with that either. Just this whole bunch of fun, you know, but that's that's part of the job. I've had stuff like that happen for it's traumatic, but it's you can deal with it. So, I get back in touch with a therapist because you should after dealing with the death. And the business winds up not cutting my hours back because I've been working overtime at the time, you know, typically doing like 64 hours a week. No, jumps it up to about 80, 84 hours a week, which makes it really hard to find any time to relax. Makes it really hard to find time to actually see a therapist and so on. So that's causing all sorts of problems. But then they wind up actually trying to accuse me of wrongdoing in that situation that I was somehow responsible for the guy's death. Now, the state investigates in these situations and they investigated the whole thing. Had cleared me of any wrongdoing, but this is like an additional month and a half that I'm dealing with that. That's this whole clusterfuck. And I really don't want to deal with it involves reliving the entire thing numerous times and wondering what the hell is going to come of it. Because, oh shit, did I do anything wrong? All of that. I didn't. State investigation completely cleared me of any wrongdoing, which is fantastic. Sucks that I had to go through it, sucks that I had to deal with investigation, but it's nice knowing that I didn't do anything wrong. It does mean the employer tried to throw me out of the bus. Now as part of that investigation, the state actually found wrongdoing on the part of the employer, which backfired hilariously. They had tried to blame me for it, and in the process, because state has to investigate when there's an accusation, it actually found evidence that the business employer trying to pass it on as me being the one who fucked up was the one who actually fucked up. And so they got, negligence was found, they were the ones responsible. So that really fucked up my head as it would. I've been, looked at the therapist that I was already seeing because of that, and another therapist for a second opinion as well as an NP for possibly prescribing something. All three of them have read that I have PTSD, which is fun. So I've been dealing with that, a lot of just focusing on me, keeping busy, but I don't know if you're dealing with stupid YouTube comments. Obviously I'm not doing better, things aren't fantastic yet, but doing a lot better. One thing that you may notice, the... I've had a minor tictosaur for like three years now, started in February 2018, or at least became noticeable then. But it's minor, they're not talking like Tourette's. If you look back at the videos, you'll definitely see instances of it. One single eye will twitch, or my whole face will jerk in a particular direction. Sometimes when I'm speaking, my stomach will abs, will contract and will hear a sudden force to it. But it's all pretty minor, people typically don't make the connection as to that's what's going on. Translucent, the Alpha 1 blocker that's often used to treat PTSD, does sometimes worsen tics, and it has gotten a little bit worse. So there may be a bit of that in videos for a while. Typically not all I notice up below, just because it's not Tourette's. I do have plans for more videos, especially throughout April, which if you are not aware is Autism Awareness Month, and I am autistic always have been. I would like to try to do a single video every single day throughout the month talking about various Autism topics. Taking a different approach from other creators, there are some fantastic ones like Paige Lyle and Eliza Wolf, Princess Espion. Those are all girls, so the guy creators. Aspergers from the inside, and I can't remember the guy's name. They'll take much more conventional approaches and work well. I don't expect to try to repeat them, whatever. But I figure since I'm very, very research oriented anyways, and had been for a while now covering various research topics, not just Autism in particular, but like on my Twitter account taking a research article that was interesting and summarizing it. Figured I'd do something like that, take some of the research around Autism that people aren't aware of that has interesting implications or explains parts of the condition that often aren't talked about to actually do a summary of that. Findings where what the actual implications are. Do like a layman summary for explaining the condition and parts of it that aren't. Like an interesting one, and that 96, there's a diagnostic test worked out dealing with the vocalizations and autism. That is 96% accurate at determining whether the individual speaking is autistic because of a combination of morphological changes in the throat and abnormal movements of the muscles that would be best characterized as like laryngeal catatonia. So that's what I mean. I obviously explain in much better detail what that means in a layman sense, but figured I'd be doing that. Yeah. Few days. Expect to see those start to come out. Until then, have a good one.