 Ah, ah, ah! Don't turn that dial. This is the right station if you wish to hear about Jonathan Thomas and his Christmas on the moon. If there should be some folks about who scoff and laugh and seem to doubt this story of Jonathan Thomas, of how he went upstairs one night and went to sleep with his eyes closed tight until a light from the moon came into his room and two little people named Ezra and Jeeple slid down and started to frown at Gus. That's his teddy bear. Why don't you care if they laugh and sneer? Because it happened. And that's a promise. It happened as true as things happened to you. And this truly happened to Jonathan Thomas. Gus growled at those elves till they were beside themselves and chased them up to the moon. And Jonathan Thomas, he chased after Gus and he shouted to Gus to come back because he was afraid he might get lost. And pretty soon he reached the moon. He knew because it was covered with frost. But Jonathan Thomas didn't mind the cold, for he was sick and very brave and bold. But he did get scared at a man with a beard, with the funniest face he'd seen any place. And he wished he could find Gus pretty soon, but he couldn't. So he asked the man in the moon. But then in a hurry with a terrible flurry, there was the awfulest noise which would scare most boys, but didn't scare him because he got as mad as he ever had when the Scribubbles kidnapped Santa Claus. Then what do you think? As quick as a wink some policeman came and put the blame on Jonathan Thomas and he went to a court of the very worst sort. It was the court of all King Cole who said, Oh, now you must go or you have broken the laws. You're a wicked spy and you'll have to die unless you bring back Santa Claus. So Jonathan Thomas, he gave his promise and he left the court in a terrible bloom, for he didn't know where he ought to go. And then he met the man in the moon who said that of course he'd get his horse. That is if he didn't mind, or it isn't much fun when there's only one who's got Santa Claus to find. So Jonathan Thomas, he said, Oh yes, and what happened next you won't have to guess. For quicker than you can count up to ten, here's where the story begins again. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Scrimm dum dee, scrimm dum doe, there are some things that I must know. Be it happy or be it sad, be it good or be it bad. So speak, oh magic mirror, great and wise. Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Unless you wicked-looking glass, unless your sass very quickly says, I'll break you into a million pieces. So speak the truth, and tell to me what strangers doth appear to thee. O evil witch of Rumpelstich, this is what I see. Beyond the road where lives the toad, there is not one but one. For sooth you speak the truth, O magic miligrate, and I wouldn't know as to where they go. So tell it to me straight. They approach the river, with him shiver so. For the I see... You shan't acknowledge, but I shan't let them, because I'll call them suffer so. They'll be so afraid, and never set out to... We'll never come back till we've taken them back to the terrible land. Vigorous and chimney crickets. What a beautiful song that is. I think it's the best song I ever heard. Oh, it's stupendous, it's colossal, it's gigantic, mama. How it nearly drives me frantic. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. How much further do we have to go, Mr. Man and the Moon, if you please, sir? Oh, just about as far as from here to there. But if you please, sir, how long is that? About as long as a piece of string without any knots in it. Ah, and we must be careful now, because we're in the canyon of the Three Dwarves. Ah, it's moida, that's what it is, not but plain moida. Oh, dear. Oh, my gracious, the goodness to Agnes, we. It's the Three Dwarves, I think. Ask them who they are, Jonathan Thomas. Yes, sir. Uh, who, if you please. I'm Sneezel. I'm Weezel. I'm Beelzebub. Who? I'm Jonathan Thomas. And I'm Coginthola the horse. And we're going to the land of the sweet bubble to rescue Santa Claus. He's been kidnapped. Yes, and we'd be ever so grateful if he'd let us go through your canyon. You'll have to pay. To go this way. And if you don't, you'll have to stay. Well, of course we'll pay. How much do you want? Each will have to pay a song. And if the song is much too long, or if you've learned it wrong, you can't go through. Not one of you. That's what you'll have to do. Oh, but I don't know any songs. Well, that's very good one. Then you'd better make one up or down. Or we'll never get through the canyon. You'd better hurry. Oh, don't you worry. We'll even escurry. I'll never let you. Or you'll. Or you'll. Go through our canyon. Well, very well then. I'll sing mine first, yeah. Oh, I'm the man in the moon. Who's singing this redful tune? It's up to you when I get through, which I hope will be very soon. Yeah. Now it's your turn, Jonathan Thomas. Well, but I only know one song. Then sing it, and ring it, and swing it. Yes, sir, if you'd please. A wee little fork in a knife in a spoon Set out for adventure one day The fork in a spoon to the wee little moat Of a wee little boy found their way Little knife by the side of the plate Thought he had wasted his life For somebody's mother had firm With his knife you'd butter my bed It's too pointless, it's colossal, it's gigantic. That's a wonderful song But a trifle too long But there wasn't a word that was wrong You pleased us so But you may go We cannot tell you no And we'll give to you This magic shoe All the evil which can trouble you And this magic hat Which goes with that Will make them wonder where you're at Whenever you'd say Scat You shouldn't say wonder where you're at You should say wonder where I am I'm doesn't rhyme with hat And that's that, you bat. Hey, wait, gracious to goodness Run with your lives There comes the witch Oh, oh, Mr. Mann is home Oh, it's terrifying, that's what it is Nothing but terrifying Yeah, come on, quick, Jonathan Thomas Put on your hat and say scat Or the witch will have you And that will be last Do you suppose Jonathan Thomas Said scat quickly enough Or do you suppose the evil witch got him Well, I guess we'll just have to wait And find out Oh, but I hope not Don't you?