 This is a big one. We have a fetish with rationality. And don't get me wrong, rationality is a beautiful, wonderful thing. I just finished reading a book called Alchemy by Rory Sutherland and I cannot recommend that higher. It is an incredible read and in it, he talks about this problem that we have where we take something that's so appropriate because honestly, when you think about things like building a plane, engineering a bridge, these kind of things where the world works in a very quantifiable and measurable way when we think about that, we want rationality. We absolutely do. But when it comes to other things like the way that we interact as people, the way that we deal with the world around us, when we try and fit everything into the box of logic, it doesn't work. Take chess for example. Chess is a beautiful game of strategy and rationality but it only works the way that it does because the pieces are limited. The game of chess isn't different if it rains or if there's an earthquake going on. Your pieces can only move in certain directions and so you get to perfectly plan out and think about, okay, well if I do this and my opponent's gonna do that and I need to get nine steps ahead of him and this opens up more opportunities, the world doesn't work like that. Interacting with real people in real situations doesn't work like that. As I was listening to Socrates talk earlier this morning about being a father and planning and preparing for that, it's hard because that's one of the things that we do. We do it with relationships. We do it with parenthood. We do it with our jobs. We think that if I can just quantify what these things are, if I can know that my kid's gonna do A, B, C or D or if I know that the girl that I go talk to is gonna do A, B, C or D, then I know that I can respond this way or I have this line that's gonna work or I can, but it doesn't work like that. We're not limited to these little boxes. We can't quantify these things. There's so many variables that come into this that we can't even understand. And the problem is is that we, again, this is, I love how Sutherland puts this, we think that rationality is the oval office, right? We think that our rational brains are what drives our decisions. Our rational brains are what tell us what to do and we just follow orders. But really what our rational brains are is they're the PR department, okay? We act on instinct. If you were to hear a loud bang go off right now, you're not gonna rationally think, oh, there is a loud bang. That may be danger. I'm going to turn around and look and see what, you do it on instinct and then rationally, you're able to justify that, oh yeah, I heard a bang, I turn around and wanted to see what it was. The action preceded the understanding. Rationality is a fantastic tool. It's a great tool to use because we're people that interact with each other and we need to be able to explain why we do things. But when we take rationality as something that rather than being a way to post, like after the fact, describe what an action was, but use it as a tool to try and preempt or pre-create what it is, it doesn't work like that. Yes, it works in very limited environments but it doesn't work in every single one of them and we have a problem where we want rationality to be the king of everything and it's not. The other people around us want us to be objects. They want us to be, that's how they see us. Most people, and we're guilty of the same thing, we see most other people around us as objects. There's something about the idea of we're the heroes in our own story as we should be. But for so much of us, the other players, the other characters who are in our story are just that, they're set pieces, they're just characters, they're just here to be in and be part of it. And we need to recognize that that's the same way that other people perceive us. As you become more of a subject in your life and less of an object, you will have people in your life who resent you for that. They will try and draw you back. They will tell you that you've changed. Ed was talking about this yesterday about how he went to a wedding and then after that he never saw this friend again. Really what happened is Ed ceased to be an object in a life surrounded by other people who were objects. He became a subject. Ed became a man of action. He started doing his own things and it makes objects uncomfortable. Other people want us to be objects. One, because they're more focused on themselves and two, because it makes them, it provides this glaringly stark difference to them of what it is to be a subject versus being an object. People want us to stay as objects because it's a way to rationalize and justify their own desires, their own fears or anything else. Okay, so now that we know that that's a problem, what do we do about it, right? What are the next steps here? Because everything that the world does, everything that we experience now as men wants us to be passive, it wants us to be, it wants us to wait, it wants us to rely on our fear, it wants us to treat risk a certain way, but what do we do to actually start to combat that? So one of the things you'll hear the most often is,