 Over the weekend, I received an email that was quite challenging. It was criticizing how I do online marketing and there are some relevant points in the email and I'm going to Do a special video. Well mine probably in my next video one of my next videos is going to be About the contents of that email and what my thoughts are about it and yeah But in this video, I want to address the overall idea of how to respond to online criticism because when you start sharing your message and being your authentic self on the internet When your audience gets big enough You will start getting more and more online criticism. So are you ready for that? it is the price to pay for having your message touch more people honestly and thankfully the amount of online criticism is far far less than the amount of positive impact that you're going to be making on others and the amount of You know praise good good feedback you're going to get from others. So But the way that we human beings are wired the way that we have evolved is to pay attention To the negative feedback we get far far more than the positive feedback we're getting now If you haven't read about this What I understand is that the reason why is our ancestors think of it this way Okay, as a you know Some as an as an ancestor who is like just trying to survive in the jungles, right? When you come across a piece of fruit that is good and you're like eating. Oh, that's great. Wonderful And then but when you hear a branch snap that could be a predator You give your full attention to that because it is far more dangerous It is far more important to not get eaten Than it is to find good things to eat So that's how we evolved because the dangers are far more important than the good things that we encounter in everyday life Those things we can take for granted because those things won't kill us, you know Where and lack of fruit, you know lack of food won't kill us immediately will die slowly But a predator who poses immediate danger to us, which is otherwise known as bad feedback Will instantly kill us So that's why we evolved to pay a lot more attention To the one negative feedback and take for granted the hundred other positive feedback that we're getting okay, so Now that you know that that's how we're wired you can more consciously Pay attention to the amount of attention you're getting to negative feedback and ask yourself again conscious living Means you're conscious of how you're living right and conscious of how where you're where you're investing Where you are investing your energy and your and your attention ask yourself is this negative feedback Being helpful. Is it being constructive? Is it something that I can gent that I believe yes That's true. I can genuinely grow from this and then learn from it. Okay, and then once you Harvest the benefit of it Discard the shell of the feedback the hard shell and Just you know because that's how we usually do how we usually consume things are good for us We discard the hard shell and we just benefit from the you know the the fruit that's inside. Okay Now there are two types of internet criticism one type which Unfortunately is getting more and more common is trolling or trolls and you may have heard of this Trolls are basically People who are often anonymous so you'll find this a lot on Twitter and on YouTube comments anonymous people who are just spreading negativity and Oftentimes they try to sound smart like oh, I know I know something about what you're talking about what you're writing about So I'm gonna try to be smart and sarcastic and and often biting Okay, so they are trolls are usually people who themselves are are miserable people. They're just they're not happy with their life but they find excitement by Offloading their negativity onto the internet and it makes them feel good about themselves so that's what trolls are and trolls unfortunately are an increasing percentage of Society because our society because there's a lot for people not to be happy with economic downturn, you know economic reasons or or social isolation And people are just you know anxious and depressed and they offer or angry and they offer their negativity very easily on on Twitter and on YouTube in the common sections and occasionally also on Facebook Now there's less negativity on Facebook because Facebook quickly Deletes fake profiles whenever they they find them But that's not always the case You know Sometimes they're still in fake profiles that will scoot negative comments on your stuff but even people some people Will also post be trolls even with their real profiles and that always is amazing to me because People some people just don't mind being seen as being mean-spirited and callous. They just don't mind I don't get it, but they don't mind and they and it tends to be men some women too, but it tends to be men and It's basically narcissistic personalities that tend to not be not be To be okay with being mean-spirited and callous especially with the real profiles Okay, so that's the one that's one type of internet criticism Which you should delete and ban right away By the way Speaking of negative criticism. I noticed that this video is Is one of my least popular videos? I just I can tell based on the number of live people people coming on and leaving right away I guess this is a hard topic for most of you right to think about oh I don't want to think about online criticism You know, but once you experience it, hopefully you'll come back here and and Find some comfort and find some encouragement. So when you when you get online criticism Delete it and ban it right away if it is trolls meaning if it's people who are just spewing negativity without Without you can tell the difference between someone who is really trying to have a discussion who honestly would Would like to know what you think and to to honestly share what they think and hopefully do it in a respectful way versus somebody who is just They're having a bad day or they're having a bad having a bad life and just want to spew negativity The thing about online at the thing about negative comments is that it tends to discourage positive comments, okay It will discourage positive people who would like to comment Or even comment thoughtfully and it will discourage them from doing so did that one negative comment would discourage lots of pot of so the lead Negative comments that are not constructive and not respectful and ban them from your page so that they don't even have a chance to do it again It's totally fine. And don't respond to them at all. Don't message them Oh, I'm sorry. I banned you from my page and please know that this was none enough Don't don't even there's no need at all to give any energy to to the trolls now like I said, there is a second type of negative comment, which is Somebody who is actually trying to respectfully disagree and share they they could just I said they could simply say I Respectfully disagree and that's fine. That's great And you keep them there and you can reply and say thank you for your you know for your respectful disagreement if they are Angry about something you said and they said, you know, I'm really and I really disagree with this because I got hurt in This way or or people are getting hurt or whatever it is and and they're not trying to be a troll They just are really sharing their anger, but they're just not they're not doing it in a very skillful way They're just they're angry and they're just reacting and as especially that's someone you know, you know You can reply and says hey, I appreciate your anger or you know, I appreciate your disagreement I don't see it that way and and if they if they didn't do it in a respectful way You might want to mention the tones like you know In the future it'd be great if you you could share your disagreement in a in a more respectful way since this is my page and you know, I get I have to moderate these comments So Here's here's the bottom line. I want to share what I want to say about this ban the trolls and love the critics Ban the trolls and love the critics very simple Launcher to remember just delete and ban the trolls right away and love the critics the critics that are disagreeing with you Whether or not they're doing it respectfully if you feel like they are being genuine in their disagreement rather than just offering an activity You you simply try to love them try to provide a safe space for them to share what they're what they're what their Disagreement is and and just and and when you can when you are feeling able to You might want to mention their tone whether their tone is goods appreciate good tone and Call out the the tone that tends to shut down conversation Again, that's only for people who you feel are being genuine in having a discussion rather than the trolls who are just also being negativity and being Just yeah, you know just being being negative. That's all so Let's see. What else do I want to say? Oh, I also want to just end the video by talking about the the higher purpose of online discussion Okay, this is something that a lot of people don't understand in my opinion. This is my opinion I don't think the higher purpose of online discussions is truth Now you might say how could that be? We all we're all trying to find the truth Yes, we're all trying to find the truth, of course, right? but truth is only that which can be Validated by Scientific study or investigation truth is something that's provable that everybody can can can investigate and and discover and Say, okay, that's that makes sense So there might be a Wikipedia article Wikipedia is a is a great way to bring evidence into a discussion because Wikipedia is Well-regarded it is open source which means people can edit it, you know, and there's moderators at moderate Wikipedia's I some people might disagree with me on Wikipedia because there's some things like like spiritual topics Which Wikipedia constantly shuts down. So all these are not true. So But so so so this is why I feel like the higher purpose of online discussion is not truth It's personal growth Okay, because truth can be There are some discussions where you can't even talk about truth like spiritual spirituality You can't talk about truth because it's not scientifically provable right now. There is no scientific method that can prove You know the spirit world, I mean some people would disagree with me I happen to believe there is a spirit world, but the mainstream science, which is make Wikipedia Which is what's easily pulled things you could pull up and easily respectable Cannot doesn't have a method to prove spiritual matters yet. Okay, so so when you're having online discussions about spirituality religion politics, you know, even relationships or even mental health You're not really talking about truth. You're talking about opinions And so most online discussions are about opinions that they're not provable discussions So that's why I think that all of us should take on this idea In my opinion that the the higher purpose of any online discussion is personal growth rather than truth Personal growth is basically being mindful of how we are approaching the discussion and seeing how we can learn something from it Number one and number two how we can practice saying something Because the more we practice saying something and sharing our experiences and sharing our opinions in an authentic way the more we grow as people the more we Practice our authentic practice living into authentic confidence Right, which is why I always I always talk about the importance of creating content because it it is practicing your authentic confidence And also helping you explore your opinions. Okay, which is important for you to think through things, right? It becoming more thoughtfully opinionated. Okay, so personal growth is Mindfulness of your reactions to other people's discussions and how you can bring more love and care into things and also Practicing your own authentic expression and being bold practice being bold, right? So that's really I think the higher purpose of Online discussions is this personal growth Also Knowing that then you're also being mindful of other people's personal growth Which means giving the safety to others for sharing their authentic opinion and Creating a nurturing environment for that so If we keep these things in mind Then we can really have online discussions that help everybody. It's not again It's not about who's right who has the truth because again, if you're just being smart and go I have the truth. Here's what's true I think you're missing the bigger point of online discussions, which is and the bigger point of life Which is not to show people you're right, but to show people you're loving That's the bigger point of life and the bigger point of life beyond above that Showing people you're loving might just be virtue signaling Which is like the lack the opposite of humility, right? But the bigger purpose of life I think is personal growth and personal growth involves learning how to show people that you care and Learning how to express your truth not your truth. I always I don't like that term your truth Because it disrespects the truth, which is provable reality. So I like to say your opinion Okay, which is which is important. Okay, so I Hope this is helpful. I hope this helps us all Bring our best or try to bring our best selves to online discussions not to try to see who's right Yes, we can try to figure out what is the truth that with a capital T something that is verifiable by everybody Usually through the scientific method But whether it's opinion or truth discussions, let's come to it with the realization that it's about personal growth It's about mindfulness. It's about showing people. It's about finding a caring container It's about creating the caring container for others to to to work on their personal growth to share their opinions Okay, so I hope this helps and thanks for those who are willing to to join me on this journey Oh, Alicia Sabine Alisa and Kim Karen And thanks Alisa for your comments there. I mean she says I miss the art of good conversation. Yeah, so Do you have any any opinions about this stuff? Please go ahead and comment below if you have any questions I look forward to it as well. And until the next video. I wish you The mindfulness about your personal growth and the other other person the other people's personal growth in online discussions Be well