 Hello everyone. Another Narks 5 Alive video. I was just driving for a few hours again today. Arrived at another city by the beach, as you can see. Got my room here. Two big beds. Just in case one of you wants to come down and lay next to me. Plenty of room right here. Oh actually, there. This one's my bed. I'm going to sleep here tonight. But yes, let's get into this topic. No one mentions this about narcissists. There may be some people who have mentioned it. But typically, if you are an empath like myself, then this isn't something that you're going to be thinking about too often. And it kind of reveals to you that you are dealing with a narcissist. Because this is something you're not even going to think about half of the time. And you may not have even thought about it until now, as I'm about to mention it in this video. Because all the time, if you're a victim of a narcissist, you're an empath. All you're ever thinking about is what can I do to make this person happy? What do I have to change about myself? Why am I not deserving of their love and commitment? And not only that, but it's just the way that if you look back to when you first met them, they gave you this false character. They represented themselves to be something, and they picked you out of a crowd, they singled you out and displayed that character to you. But then they never actually followed it up with action. They never followed up on what they represented themselves to be. And that could have been anything, it depends on your situation. It could have been something where maybe they said they were about loyalty and devotion. Maybe they told you they loved you, but they never treated you as though they did love you. Maybe they said they wanted you to meet their family, but then you never did. Or it could have been something to do with money, it could have been sexual favours. I haven't got too much experience in that, I can't say that's something that I've ever had to deal with. The narcissist that I was with, that was something we did quite often. But definitely I can relate very well with things such as love, loyalty and commitment, money as well. The narcissist that I was with, they portrayed themselves as though they were loving and caring, as though they were empathetic. And they may have talked about how they were donating to the homeless, these types of things from what I remember. Or they would use my money to donate to homeless people, or to give them food. So they portrayed this image, but then they were never actually acting that way towards me. At least not after the initial meetings that we had. And then other things as well, they may have said that they were about 50-50 relationships in terms of money. But then I was always the one who was spending, just looking back at my narcissistic relationships. I spent hundreds of thousands of pounds, and I never got a penny from them. So to get right to it, to get to the point what no one mentions about narcissists. They keep us on this hamster wheel when we are constantly running in an effort to please them, to make them happy. When the reality is that even if there was a perfect person on this earth, they still would not be good enough for the narcissist. And just with that concept in mind, it should help you to understand that no, it is not you. The reality is that you were far too good for them. You were well above what they deserved. The reality is, and what no one mentions about narcissists, it's that they cannot satisfy you. And it doesn't matter how much time you spend with them. It doesn't matter how much you do for them. At some point, once you've done so much for them, you should realize, hold on a minute, there is no way they could possibly reciprocate what I have put in out. Because if you look back, all of the things you've done for them, and they've never reciprocated, they've never done anything for you, that should tell you that they don't intend on doing anything for you in the future. Because of course, they understand psychology. They know people think the moment they do anything for you, it's going to instantly trigger in your mind of everything that you put out in the past and all of those situations where you got nothing back. And you're instantly going to realize that you are far superior to them. You're far greater than them. Because they can't reciprocate anything in comparison to what you've put out. And deep down, I think a lot of them already know this. Yes, they know they can't satisfy you. They know you're far too good for them. And not only that, but think about what it is that you want and what would satisfy you as an empath. Of course, you want love, loyalty, commitment and devotion. You desire something long-term, something sustainable, rather than just manipulation and an illusion. They can't give any of these things to you. They don't have any love for themselves, so how can they love you? They can't give you something that they don't have. You could give that to them. You could love them. But then when you love them and you give them your loyalty and devotion, that also triggers something in their minds. It reminds them that they could never reciprocate back to you. They could never love you. They could never appreciate and accept you the way that you appreciate and accept them. They're never going to be able to do that for you because in their minds, life has been so unfair to them. They've been through all of these things. So they have so much bitter, bitterness and resentment. They just hate everyone and everything. And any time that you do anything for them, it just reminds them of all of their failed relationships, all of the times and probably so many times in their lives where they failed to reciprocate to people in their past. Because of course you're not the only one. What they're doing, it is a habit. It's a pattern of behavior. So they've been doing this for a very long time to so many people. So yes, when you try to love them, you accept them. You desire something long-term with them. That triggers something in their minds. It just reminds them of how they do not deserve your love. They do not deserve your acceptance. They don't deserve anything from you. And just look at their actions. They are constantly showing you. They are constantly reminding you, no, don't give me your love. Don't give me your loyalty, devotion and acceptance. I do not deserve it. That's why they lash out at you. That's why they abuse you. That's why they can't give you what you want and what would satisfy you. Because then they're going to be sending a very different message to you. When the reality is that no, they are not good enough for you. They will never be enough for you. But they trick you, they spin it around, they point the finger at you. As though you will never be good enough for them. You will never be able to satisfy them. But it's just a mirage. It's an illusion. And it is intended to manipulate and confuse you. To keep you looking at yourself and thinking that something is wrong with you. But you should know by now that it isn't you. Because no matter what you do for them, no matter how much you do, it will never be enough. They will never be satisfied as well. But it's not because you're not doing enough. Just look back at everything you have done for them. And in fact, write it down. Get out a piece of paper. Make two lists. One where you write down all of the things that you have done for them. And another one where you write down all of the things that they have done for you. And then just compare the list. Even if it's just the main things, the most important things that you remember. I'm sure most of you will find that you have given them far more than they have ever given to you. And I'm not just talking about money. Although the reality is that the narcissist typically leaves with a lot more than they came in with. While the victim usually leaves with a lot less than what they came in with. Because you have to feed this insatiable beast. It's this void that can never be filled. You pour everything you have into them. All of your time, energy and money. All of your loyalty, love and devotion. But no matter what, it is never enough. And yet for us, as victims, as empaths, if you've been with them long enough, you have been emotionally starved. So you're so used to not receiving anything where it gets to a point where if they were to just to show you any amount of attention or love, if they just poked you, it would make you feel alive because you're so emotionally starved. Even though you may be extremely easy to satisfy and please. And it's sad, but it may get to a point where you feel like anyone else in this entire world could do this. Surely anyone else could have given me what I want, what I desire. Love, devotion, whatever it is. Anyone else other than this person. Because it just seems like they are incapable. They just can't satisfy you. And yet you feel as though you're so easy to please, so easy to satisfy. And you look at everything you've done for them and you think if they could just do a fraction of that, that's all that they would have to do. And I know many of you, you've been in these relationships for years. You've never received anything of value from the narcissist. And I don't just mean financial value. I mean emotional value as well. And it's not because they don't want to. Yes, they will use that to hurt you. They will discard you and triangle you with someone else and make it look like they've given everything to them that they never give to you. That is all a mirage, an illusion. It isn't real. If they really had that to give to you, trust and believe that they would have given it. Narcissists, they want to control you. They want to have power over you. So what better way to do that than to satisfy you? That's exactly the first thing they would go to as they desire power and control over their targets. They would go to trying to satisfy you as much as they possibly can to make you lose motivation, to make you lazy. That's the first thing that they would do. But of course they can't do that. As I said, they do not have any love to give. They cannot love you. And that is why many of you in these relationships you feel unloved, you feel unheared and you're just waiting for something to happen, for something to change. And yet many of you have been in these relationships for years. So those of you who have only been in it for a few months, maybe one year, look at the comments. See how other people have been in it for 10 years, 20 years. They've been in it for a very long time and they never got that loyalty, that love, that devotion, a sustainable relationship with the narcissist and all of the problems that they have. They never gave up on their addictions. Whether it's smoking, alcohol or drugs, whatever they do, all of these things continue to persist as well as the abuse, the mobilization, the lies, the future faking. And none of these things will ever go away. It's always going to be like that as long as you're dealing with them. But they will give you the illusion. They will manipulate you and make you believe that yes, at some point in the future, you will get the relationship you want, the marriage, the children, a relationship without abuse. Or they will give up on their addictions and pay more attention to you. They will tell you all of these things, but that is never going to be your reality with them. If you ever experience that with them for a long period of time, that means that you are not dealing with a narcissist. Because if there's one thing that they all have in common, regardless of age, gender or what part of the world that they are from, it's that all of their victims, their targets, I mean, let's keep it real, they're all miserable. They're all unhappy. They're all stressed out, pulling their hair out a lot of times. They're experiencing anxiety, clinical depression. Some of them are even suicidal. And I know what it's like of being through it myself. That's one thing we all have in common when we are dealing with these types of people. We are all miserable just by being around them. And it's only when you get away from them. Yes, it might be difficult in the beginning. You may have cognitive dissonance. You may have doubts of whether or not the false character was real or not. But once you go into contact and you spend enough time away from them, life starts to get good again. You feel much stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. The good vibes come back. You feel happier, you feel more alive. You feel more passionate and excited about life. And it gets better for you in your work or in your business. You start making more money. While we're with them, it is a miserable, disappointing and dissatisfying experience. And a lot of times, yes, it is very frustrating because you look at them and you think, hold on a minute. You are a human being. You're a person. Or at least you look like one. You should be more capable than that. I mean, you presented this false character. You represented yourself as being something magnificent. So why can't you live up to that? Of course, yes. It's what we all think. Even though, yes, as empaths, we feel bad for them. We don't want to embarrass or shame them by telling them that. But let's keep it real. That's exactly what is on our minds. That we see this person. Or at least you think they're a person. They're actually emotionally underdeveloped at the age of a toddler. And yet you're expecting this person to meet your emotional needs. They can't even meet their own needs. They can't even take care of themselves. Which is why once you get away from them, you heal. The cognitive dissonance fades away. And you look at it from an observer's point of view. Then it starts to make perfect sense. Then you start to understand. Because it's like this person cannot even take care of themselves. They're not independent. They're constantly dependent on you or someone else. Emotionally, mentally, financially, sometimes even physically. So how on earth are they going to give anything of value to you? Because that's a clear sign when someone is so dependent on you or someone else. That reveals that they don't have any value inside. They have no identity of their own. So what are they going to do for you? How are they meant to make you happy? They've never even done the work themselves. They've got all of these problems, all of these traumas. They can't take care of themselves. And they never learned how to. All they've done their entire lives. From the very beginning, they already knew they weren't good enough. So they focused on manipulation. That's why they're so good at it now. And they've manipulated many people before you in order to get their needs met. And the whole point of the manipulation is so that they get what they want from you without giving you anything in return. Because they don't have anything to give to you anyway. How would they when they've been working on manipulation their entire life? That's why they're so good at it. And yet many of you, you actually believe. You actually think that there is more to them than what you have seen. As though there is this other side to their personality. As though they could be so much more fun and exciting. Especially when they've discarded you and they post these pictures on social media. It looks like they're so much happier with their new supply. You've just got to look back at what they did to you. They manipulated you. They love bombed you. They represented themselves as being that. But then they never followed it up with action. All they do is talk. But guess what? They can talk the talk but they can't walk the walk. They can give you lip service. But you're never actually going to see anything manifest into reality. You're never going to get that from them because they haven't even got it to give to you. It's all a lie. It's all an illusion. Like I said, narcissists, they desire power and control over their targets. So what better way to have power and control over you than to give you exactly what you want. Than to give you love, loyalty, commitment, devotion, a relationship, money, whatever it is you want or need from them. If they just gave you that, that would keep you there. That would keep you stuck. That would keep you under their control. Which is how you should know that all of these illusions, the love bombing in the beginning, even the triangulation, all of this stuff, it's all fake. It isn't real. It's a figment of your imagination. And yes, now it is time for you to wake up. Especially with narcissists, if they've got something to give or to show to you, you are going to see it. The very arrogant, the grandiose, they will brag and boast about it until the end of time. They're not going to hide it from you. If they targeted you, they clearly won't supply from you. So they're going to do whatever it takes to impress, to entice you, to lure you in. And when you truly realize this, it will make perfect sense to you. You will realize that, no, they actually never had anything to give. But I know what it's like I've been there. I've experienced it many times before, these narcissists. They came to me, they mirrored my values and ideals. They reflected back to me what I was about. Everything that I had already in my own life. Because actually that was just a projection. All of the things that they tried to identify with, it was more, that was what they wanted from me. It's just they didn't want to come out and admit it. But once they spent enough time around me, that energy, the money, just everything began to fade away. Because that is what they came around me for. While making me believe that they were about that. But they are not about that at all. They're just not the type of people that you think they are. Narcissists are not loving, caring people. They are not fun. They are not anything that you should desire to be around. All of these things, they are a reflection of your own qualities and virtues. At some point you need to look at yourself and realize that you are loving. You are caring. You are a fun and interesting person. That's why they always want to be around you. They don't want to be around you if you're boring, if you're dull, if you gray rock. Then they will forget about you. But the problem is at some point they have to leave you alone. Otherwise you're going to catch on and realize that they're boring. They're no fun. They're no good for you. And of course they don't want you to realize that. They don't want you to be aware of that. Because if you are aware of that then you can destroy them. Which is why of course yes they will come back to hoover you. They will come back with a love bombing. They may even come back with flowers or a box of chocolates. They may come back with makeup sex. They may come back with all of these things if they have anything to give. But again it is not sustainable. It's an illusion. It's a reflection of your own virtues and ideals. Even when they do these things that doesn't make any difference. It doesn't matter if they come to your door with flowers and a box of chocolates. Anyone can do that. It doesn't mean that they love you, that they miss you or that they care about you. It just means that they want supply. It doesn't reveal any particular quality or attribute about themselves. That's something that's proven over time. It's not proven over a sense of urgency. Where they're rushing to you and they want things to hurry up. They want to do kind gestures for you. Just to get you to believe or think something in your mind that reflects back to them. How they want to feel about themselves. Because that's all that it really is. It's nothing more than that. And it doesn't matter what they do. Yes some narcissists they may actually have some money. In some cases they may splash out. They may buy you a car. But anyone who has a lot of money can do that. That doesn't mean that they love you. That doesn't mean that they care about you. That doesn't mean that they're going to treat you right. In actuality we should not accept any kind gestures or gifts from narcissists. Because we should recognize a difference. It has nothing to do with love. You should be thinking if you want to show your love to me. Then meet my emotional needs. Just be vulnerable even for a moment. Let's just have a normal conversation. But of course they can't even do that. It's all about superficial things feeding their ego. Whatever makes them feel alive. Because I genuinely believe that a lot of them don't even have a soul. There's just no one even inside. They're just whatever they think they need to be so that they can get supply. So that they can get you to think of them in a certain way. And as we know in some situations they want to be intimidating. They want to be powerful and important. They want to be superior to you. And then in other situations they want to be attractive and desirable. They want to be something that you might desire. Not because they see you. No they see people as objects. All they ever do is objectify their victims or targets. And at the same time they also objectify themselves. Everything is objectification. It is all superficial and it never goes any deeper than that. They will never expand. You will never experience a deep emotional connection with them. You will never experience intimacy. You will never have a normal conversation. You will never have any of that with the narcissist. You might have that with someone else but not with them. And yet of course as we know if you go to them you say why can't you just talk to me? Why can't you open up? Why can't you connect? They always have some reason or excuse for it. It's always something to do with you. It's always you're not good enough. You're not doing what they want you to do. It's always that you need to be better. Or you're bad, you're crazy, you're wrong. You have all of these problems. It's always you. It's always the victim or target. That's their reason. That's their excuse for why they can't be vulnerable, for why they can't open up. For why you can never have a genuine conversation with them. That's always their reason or excuse. But at some point you need to realize that it isn't good enough. You need to realize that you deserve better. You deserve so much more. But actually you're not even asking for much anyway. You're asking for just a fraction of what you've given to them. Those of you who've spent such a long time with them. You've given them all of your love, all of your devotion. And yet what did you get from them in return? All you got was a sham. A fake relationship. And at some point you need to wake up and realize that that's all that it's ever going to be. It's not ever going to be any more than that. And it may seem believable when you look at them with a new supply and the triangulation. It may look like they've just moved on and they're so much happier with this new person. But it's really not what you think at all. It's nothing like how you may think that it may be. It's no different to what they portrayed to you. The manipulation, the love bombing, that was fake. They're just doing the same thing again with someone else. The only difference is they have found a bigger fool. They have found someone who is more susceptible. Someone who is willing to believe in them. Someone who has become their doormat. Their emotional punching bag. So don't worry about it. If you've been discarded. If you're seeing these pictures on social media of them with their new supply don't let it get to you by realizing that they could never satisfy you even after everything you did for them. I mean, typically with us empaths it doesn't take much for someone to do for us. To where we then have so much to give to the world. Because unlike narcissists we don't have a void but narcissists do have a void and no matter how much you pour into them it just disappears without a trace. You'll never get anything back. They will never be able to reciprocate anything back to you. They don't have any love to give. All they can do is strip you of everything that you have until you feel lifeless and depleted and you start to think that something is wrong with you. You start to go along with their narrative and even when you're completely drained it's like you have no life left. You're still trying to get back up and do more for them because it's like it's just signalling to you that you're still not enough that you should still be able to do more even if you're on your last legs. And I know it sounds crazy but a lot of people they've been through it already but maybe they were driven to suicide driven into a mental hospital or they developed extreme health conditions where now they can't even survive on their own they're having to depend on someone else just to sustain their own lives and this is exactly what will happen to you if you stay with them long enough you're just gonna keep giving and giving until you burn yourself into the ground and I promise you I can guarantee it 100% they will never be able to satisfy you or anyone else they will never be able to do that it doesn't matter how long you wait around for them to change it doesn't matter how much you give to them that doesn't make a difference because they have a void so anything you pour into them it just leaks out which is why at some point it's like you just have to give up give up with them don't give up on yourself because not giving up on them is giving up on yourself it's depleting yourself it's burning yourself out until you've got nothing left to give nothing left even for yourself and realize this to protect yourself to protect your mental, physical and emotional health because they're never gonna do that for you they're going to watch you burn yourself into the ground and many of them are sadistic they will even find satisfaction in watching you doing that because they never got their emotional needs met when they were children so these things like love, loyalty and that means nothing to them their thrill comes from manipulating and deceiving people and then once they start to see you waking up then it's all about breaking you down because that brings them amusement and excitement as well that is that idea of fun but it's no fun for them to do what you do to want what you want they're just not interested in relationships they can't experience a relationship that is not available to a narcissist to someone who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy someone who doesn't care about you it is physically and emotionally impossible for them to have a relationship because a relationship is the way in which two people connect it's not someone consuming everything from you and you getting back nothing or very little in return that's not a relationship the whole point of a relationship is that they connect to you just as you connect to them but narcissists cannot do that so you will always be left feeling dissatisfied and sometimes feeling like you're not good enough unless you've watched enough of my videos enough to realize that it isn't you and that a lot of other people are going through this as well we've all been through it none of us have felt satisfied with these narcissists just turning this up it's a bit cold in here now I've had this AC on for a while but yes none of us have felt satisfied with these narcissists none of us have ever got the result that we wanted we never got that sustainable relationship and it's not because of us again just look back at everything you did for them it's because they didn't have it to give they didn't have it to give to you or to anyone else they can't because they lack empathy you need to have empathy to have a relationship you need to be able to share another person's feelings and experience you need to be able to put yourself in their shoes because a relationship again as I said it is the way in which two people are connected and they could never connect to you so how are they going to connect to anyone else especially when you see that they've moved on and they're triangulating you with someone else and they act like they care so much about this other person while not caring about you but genuine empathy does not work that way you can't pick and choose who you care about even though they may act like they're just against you and everyone else is okay they can't just single you out it does not work that way as someone who has very high empathy I know that it doesn't work that way you either have empathy for everyone or for no one so when they act like they've moved on and they've just forgotten about you they don't care about you they're with someone else yes that is all fake they are not really connected they're not really in a relationship it's impossible that just cannot happen because if that was real they would care about you they would be able to sense your pain and then they never would have left you in the first place but yes this is the reality I'm dealing with narcissists we always talk about how no matter what we do even if we were perfect they would never be satisfied with us but the reality is that even though we may be very easy to please very easy to satisfy they cannot satisfy us and the more time you spend with them the more your value goes down the more miserable they become and I think in some ways it becomes dissatisfying for them because they know they can't give you what you want they can't give you what you're looking for and I think sometimes they may wish that they could but even then it would only just be to manipulate you which is kind of a catch 22 it means that it is impossible for them to ever give you what you want because they're never going to care about you or anyone else it's always going to be manipulation it's always going to be whatever they have to do whatever they have to say so that they can feel better about themselves because that's everything that a narcissist does it's also they can feel better about themselves and yet many of us we remain detached from ourselves for such a long period of time to where we don't even realize that we're not happy we're not satisfied we're not feeling good about ourselves and yet because we're in past we just don't stop we keep going and it's like the moment we take any time to ourselves to do the things that we want to do our passions and interests then they have to shame us then we're being selfish even though nothing you do will ever make them happy they're never going to be satisfied with you or anyone else but just don't let that affect you don't let it affect your self-esteem because what tends to happen is that as an empath you want to fix the situation you want to please them you want to make them happy so then you're tuning into that frequency and it begins to eat away at you what you need to do is get back to yourself and yes they are predators they already know it they can sense your energy shift they know when you're tuning into them and their misery and pain and suffering their dissatisfaction with not only themselves but everything in life they can see when you begin to take on that energy and then they can sense it as soon as you tune back into yourself into your own pure natural naturally high vibrational energy in you just being yourself yes they know the difference they can sense it which is why as soon as you start to move on it doesn't matter even if they have new supply they will come back to try to hoove again because they sense your energy shift they sense that you're pulling away from them from them energetically and they don't like it the only thing a narcissist really wants or cares about is for you to tune into them is for you to enter their world of misery and pain so that they can feel better about themselves while the genuine empath all we want to do is tune into them we want to abandon ourselves just to tune into the narcissist's energy so that we can make them happy we are even willing to abandon ourselves to tune into their frequency to please them to satisfy them without realising that they can never be satisfied while all the narcissist is ever going to do is get you to attach to them and tune into their frequency so that they can feel better about themselves they're never going to tune into you they can't tune into you if they did that even for a moment they would feel completely worthless in comparison to you because they would know that they can never be anything like you but yes that's all it's ever going to be all they're ever going to do is try to pull you into their energetic field and they will typically be very successful in doing that not because they're expert manipulators but because it's just the way that you're wired as an empath you're wired in a way where you want to please and satisfy people you want to make them happy but what will help you to heal and detach from this is just to imagine what it would be like to have what you want to have the type of person that could satisfy you even though yes you may be very easy to please just imagine another empath like yourself because yes like attracts like another empath will be naturally attracted to you it's just that narcissists manipulate us they make us believe that they are in paths in the beginning and that's what makes us stick around we don't really desire narcissists we don't really want to be anywhere near them only if we think that they are empathetic and they're going to reciprocate back to us what we're putting out and then there will be a mutual exchange where we can build and grow together because that's what we really want so just imagine that for a moment what it would be like to meet another empath someone who has the same qualities and traits as yourself just imagine that and it will help you to detach from the narcissist by realising that they can never give you what you want they can never satisfy you just as you can never satisfy them so that's the message for tonight yes it's something that no one really mentions about narcissists but I thought it was really important for me to mention that to you those of you who have cognitive dissonance and you're not aware of it just come out by the beach again sorry I've got a bad cough I think I put the AC on a bit too long really nice beach I'm looking forward to going down there tomorrow do a bit more exploring but yes that's it for this video thank you all for joining me I hope it was helpful for you if it was you can show your support by giving it a thumbs up down below let me know your thoughts in the comment section as well and read your comments every day and subscribe if you'd like to book a coaching session with me you can do that from my website it is Narcseviver.co.uk and you can check out my Instagram as well it's Narcseviver YouTube and Instagram I have new pictures and videos of my travels every day on there thank you all for watching and as always I will talk to you in another video very soon