 🎵óI'm like, wishing to take them, over and over, with never an end.🎵 🎵Take a step backwards, and take them again.🎵 🎵But steps to follow, but steps to make.🎵 🎵New things to learn, new lessons to take.🎵 🎵Learning from every success and mistakes, but steps,🎵 🎵But steps to follow, but steps to make.🎵 Our three-year-old son Malik gets very upset and anxious when he has to go to the doctor just for a routine examination. The tongue depressive, the weighing in process, the examination of the ears, the immunizations, they all upset him very much. Well, you know, needles upset a lot of adults when they have to get them out. Malik has a problem with being out of control. That feeling of being out of control, we've noticed it here. But I've had a similar problem in the hospital. That feeling of being out of control, not really in charge of it, and I think a lot of adults have a similar feeling. And if you think about an adult feeling that way, imagine how a child feels in the hospital. Talk to Mr. Young. That guy's trying to give me a C in his class. What for? Because he's a creep. Okay. What do you say? Well, I don't know. What? Huh, you scared of my cooking? Yeah, you scared of my cooking. No, what is it really? Your father is... Uh, don't worry about him. He's too busy hovering over Paul. He didn't notice you. Oh, that's right. They're operating on him tomorrow, huh? Walter, he's only going in for some tests. I swear, you're as bad as my parents. You know, if they take out your intestines and pull them in a straight line, they reach from here to Indianapolis? What's a buddy sandwich? That sounds good to me. Here, honey. You be careful of the milk, Paulie. Uh, Spill? Well, um, Paulie, they try to make tick little boys get thinner. Listen, you better eat to your sandwich before the bunny chips off the plate. Bite your nose. I'm not easily bummedy, you know, even with a Spadale. Kitchen, please. Yeah, let's go to the kitchen and have your mother, uh, hammering. Okay, Pop. Paulie, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Okay. I'm excited about the operation. Annemarie, he ought to be prepared for the worst, don't you think? You know, he's not exactly going to a, uh, surprise party. Don't worry, honey. Listen, Jimmy and Cedar are going to take off work, and Kathy's going to come home as soon as she can get a reservation. I can close your call, Aunt Rose, and the cousin, too. Well, you don't know it. When you have something wrong in a year, you don't just sit around. Like that friend of yours, Al. You know the one that wears the bag on the outside? Because they didn't catch it in time. Yeah, Sally and Trini. Now, Annemarie, honey, you just can't pretend anymore that something serious isn't happening. Yeah, but it's a different maw. I mean, the doctor said he'd outgrow it. No, honey, the doctor said he might outgrow it, depending on what they find, depending on what the test shows. Oh! Oh. Okay, come along this way. I bet a good mechanic like me can fix it. Uh, I don't think so. It's broken in, so I really can't see it. Hmm. Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. Do you need the bouquet, Mama? Annemarie. Is that better, Ellie? Oh, it's your first time in the hospital? Yeah, because I'm sick. Oh, I know. Dr. Nohoskey told me you were going to have some tests. Do you know why? Because I have stomach aches. That's right. Hey, little boy, I had a stomach ache, too, and they caught me open. You want to see my stitches? Paulie's only here for some tests. I have a book here with some pictures of some other children who've come to the hospital. Uh, nurse, can I see you outside for a minute, please? Paulie, no one's going to hurt you, okay? I won't let them. It's okay. It's okay, honey. Come on, Grandma, see you. You know, I really don't think that Paulie needs to see pictures of sick kids, okay? So if you'll just keep that away from them. I know this can be just as upsetting for you as for Paulie, but I'm sure if I explained some of the tests, you wouldn't be worried. Well, I know what goes on in this place, okay? Believe me, and I'm telling you right now, there is no way I'm letting any of you scare us, okay? This is the camera. It's going to be moving up and down. This is the TV. The picture of your insides right here. You want to watch, okay? Now, I want to tell you, this is going to move off and close. Oh, it's important that you keep your hands down. Paulie, honey, keep your hands down, okay? That's important. Don't put your hands up. Paulie, put your hands down. Paulie, put your hands down. I want to go on my way. I think maybe we better come back and do this when he settles down. I really... It's very important that he has the tests now. No, I don't think you understand. He's getting upset. Now, I don't want him going through this when he's upset. I do understand. But I promised him that I would stay with him. No. You have to go. Here, honey, take your foggy, okay? I promised him that I wouldn't... It won't be a better couple, can it? Paulie, I'm sorry, but it's going to hurt for just a second. Paulie, remember what I told you about the tourniquet? What it does, I want you to make a big Steve Austin fist, okay? That's it. Okay, you ready to make a fist? Can you count to ten? Go ahead. I want you to hold rules. There's it all at once. Don't worry about it. That's it. You could explain to him about the IV. I'll tell you what. Why don't I just sort of... I'll kill the nurses. Just do what happened. Just get over with. And then we'll go to have something silly tonight. We'll fix this flat yet. Why don't we just let your mother handle it? I mean, she's calmed him down and everything. Then you can play with him all afternoon. She's missing. Al, she's been gone since lunchtime. Paul is right here beside me. He really wants Anne-Marie. Is Mommy coming? I'll call around and see if I can find her. I'll get there as soon as I can, okay? Okay. Thanks a lot, honey. Bye. Hello, Ellie. Hi. How are you today? Hi. Oh, it's good to see you. Look what I brought for you. Lexington and McCarthy in about 15 minutes. Yeah, we'll go for pizza or something. I'll treat. Keep quiet. Yeah. The family's over at the hospital, and everything's really worked out great. Yeah, it's really fun. Listen, can you meet me now? Okay, bye. Oh, has Anne-Marie been all there? Oh, it's good to see you. Okay, bye. Oh, does that hurt at all there? Oh, don't worry. We're going to get her just as soon as we can. How about here? Does that hurt at all? I don't know. Stop as soon as we can, okay? So, Doctor, what's the verdict? I think we now know what the problem with Paul is. Since he's been in the hospital, we've found a little rectal bleeding. Cancer? No, no, no, not cancer. He has what we think is probably called mechal diverticulum. What is it? It's just a little misplaced tissue that's in Paul's intestine, and it's causing a lot of acid. And as a result, it gives Paul pain, and now some bleeding. Do you think it's a mean thing that you're going to have to operate? Yeah, I really think we should, just to get that piece of tissue out, and we'll schedule it just as soon as I can. It's just one problem. We really should have a chance to talk to both Paul and his mom before I schedule for the operation. I know you're here, and it's great you are, but I think it's even more important that Paul has a chance to deal with his mom before we operate. Listen, anytime you want to buy me a double pepperoni pizza, it's all right with me. Yes, sir. I've got an idea. Let's go surprise Paulie. No, I've got a better idea. Let's go bowling. Come on, you promised to take me. Come on, it's almost midnight. I've got to go to work in the morning. I'll just drop you off at the hospital, OK? No, it's too late. What do you mean it's too late? Visiting hours are over. Oh, come on. You told me that parents could visit any time. You're not going to go back at all? What? Walter, look, just leave me alone, OK? Oh, come on. Your kid is in the hospital. You're not going to go see him? Walter, look. What? If you're not going to take me for somebody, just take me home. OK, I'll take you home. I want to know why you're not going to go over there, huh? If it were my kid, I'd be there right now. I know. But it's not your kid, OK? I know it's not my kid. It's your kid. That's why I want to know why you're not going to go back. Look, it's none of your business. It is my business. You've been using me all night to get away from your kid. I'll just get him in there, and they kept hurting him and scaring him, and I just kept scaring him. I'll go out and see if I can find him any day. OK. Hey, honey, listen, why don't you take the red on home with you, all right? Yeah, all right. Come on, honey. I think I'll walk out with you to the elevator. All right. Let's go. Where have you been? We've been booking all over for you. Mom, I don't know. What happened? Why are you in here? Well, Ann-Marie, they, uh, listen, they decided to go ahead and operate on Paulie. It's going to be OK, Ann-Marie. I knew it. Listen, Dr. Nahatski explained everything real good to your dad and to me, all about it, and that nurse is going to tell you anything you want to know about the operation, OK? Listen, there's just one thing, Ann-Marie. They think it would be good if it was you who tells Paulie about the operation. Mom, I can't. I-I-I would say... Oh, just you can, Ann-Marie. You know why? Because you've got to. Dr. Nahatski, and he said that tomorrow the operation... I know, but, you know, after you have the operation, I'm talking to you. You know that? That's going to be all better. Rain had an operation to correct the wandering eye. We talked to her for quite some time. She was five years old about what the results of the operation would be, also telling her what the hospital visit would be like was her first time in the hospital. And, frankly, the idea that her eyes would be corrected meant a lot to her, and she was able to deal with the hospitalization. Well, that was an advantage that most parents don't have. I know I'm very anxious myself about the possibility of Maliki from going into the hospital. Of course, the main problem remains the nervousness of the child, and there are a lot of new programs set up to deal with that these days. One such program is at Children's Hospital in Washington, D.C. Dr. Mary Robinson has a few helpful ideas. If you had to travel back just where it will hurt, that's right, and sometimes you'll feel a little busy and sometimes a little sick at your stomach. Of course, children are worried and frightened about coming in the hospital. All of us are frightened when we have to be hospitalized. But children are particularly vulnerable because of their limited life experience and the many misconceptions they have about the experience of illness and hospitalization. Mommy is not allowed to go with her. She waits in the hospital room for Jill to come back. Mommy, she's scared, right? I don't think she's scared anymore. I think she was scared. Me too. You too? Yes. I was scared. Oh, you were scared of it, yeah. It's important that you let your child talk about the experience. Explore his misconceptions. Get at issues relating to his feeling that illness and hospitalization are a punishment. He doesn't like it. He doesn't. He wants an aspirin. Okay, does he like the aspirin? Yeah. Oh, okay. He doesn't like the green aspirin. Oh dear, he doesn't like it. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like any medicine. Let me try some of the things. Tell him what's going to happen. Prepare him not only for the big things that are going to happen, but for the little things as well. Things which we may consider as very small in connection with having an operation. A blue. That's another mask. You want to try it, Richard? You want to try it? That's a mask. You can try one or two. Be honest with your child. Tell him that things are going to hurt when they will hurt. Please don't ever tell him that big boys or big girls don't cry. If a parent wants to help a child cope with the fears, admit that he's afraid too. Parents are afraid when their children go in the hospital. Then I think he has to be open about discussing those fears. Letting the child know that it's okay to be afraid. It's not something weird or strange about you because you're afraid. You're afraid to drive your car. You're afraid to drive your car. Your child needs your support when you're in the hospital. He needs your presence as much as the time as possible. And particularly if he's a young child, it's important that you insist on staying in the hospital with him. I've been continually amazed at how much children can tolerate in the presence of a warm, familiar adult. They'll put up with procedures that would be terrifying to them otherwise. Accept the way the child is going to feel. Let him cry. Let him be angry. Permit him to be afraid. Be prepared for the fact that he may have some aggressive behavior afterwards. That is, he may go back to wetting the bed. He may go back to baby talk. He may be more clinging, more easily frightened, more reluctant to separate from you. So remember, if you're the parent of a child who has to go into the hospital, prepare him for the experience. Be honest with him about the pain. Stay with him if you possibly can. Do everything you can to encourage the trust that already exists between you and your child and encourage him to transfer some of that trust to the hospital personnel. And take them again. Following, following, but making a path. Take and travel and make it alone. The time is coming. We'll look for the day with someone to guide them. They'll make their own way. Footsteps to follow, footsteps to make. New things to learn and new lessons to take. Learning from every success and mistakes.