 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Oh. Little Miss Sonny, how are you today? I'm fine, and I know a riddle. Well, quick, tell it to me. Why did the moron throw his alarm clock out of the window? He wanted to see time fly. Oh, that's very good. Do you know any moronic riddles? I think I do. Why did the moron take a bottle of catsup to bed? That one I never... Oh, it sounds crazy. Why did he? To catsup on his sleep. Oh, that's silly. To catsup on his sleep. Now will you read me the funnies? Puck the Comic Weekly, very well. I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, hop along Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for hop along. Slote the outlaw had slipped into the town of Buckskin to see Doc Wiley, another crook. Slote happened to look out the Doc's window and saw Hoppy riding into town. Wiley told Slote to take his horse and Buckskin slip out the back way. As soon as Slote was out of sight, Doc Wiley double crossed him and sent Hoppy after him. Hoppy caught up with Slote, captured him and started to question him at a spot outside of town. Suddenly a shot rings out and Slote keels over dead before Hoppy's eyes. At this moment, Lucky California and the others of the posse ride up. Hoppy tells Lucky first picture, second row. I nabbed him when his rig overturned. Then Hoppy draws his gun and walks toward a field of huge boulders saying, He was starting to tell me who's behind the ghost raiders when somebody drilled him. The shot came from behind those rocks. The man behind the rocks who fired the shot is Doc Wiley, who sees Hoppy heading toward him. Wiley knows he's cornered. First picture, fourth row, the sheriff calls. Come out with your hands higher. Suddenly a horse gallops out from behind the rocks, heading down the trail. California yells, Hey, here goes the bushwhacker. Sheriff yells, Quick, our horses. They all run for their horses. Mount and head down the trail after the man on horseback. As he disappears down the trail, Doc Wiley, without his hat and coat, stands up behind a rock. First picture, fifth row and says, Well, for a moment I thought they had me. Now to slip back into town, and no one will be the wiser. Last picture, fifth row, Hoppy draws closer and closer to the fleeing rider. First picture, bottom row, he draws up behind him and jerks him out of the saddle. Last picture, the rest reign in their horses. California sees Hoppy holding a dummy wearing a hat and coat. He exclaims, Hey, what's that? Hoppy replies, Our bushwhacker, Whoever kills Slote, decoyed us with a hat, a blanket roll and a coat. Hoppy again, didn't he? Yes, I'll have to admit that was a clever scheme to tie a hat and coat around a blanket and then tie it to the saddle so it would look like a man was riding the horse and then chase the horse away. Do you think they can get back there to the place where he was hiding and get him before he gets to town? After all, they have horses and Doc Wiley's on foot now. Well, that's something we'll have to find out next week. All right. Now, I'm sure he's on page three. Well, let's turn over the page and see. See? I'm right. There you are. You are. And remember last week that Val made young Arff believe that he could still do lots of wonderful things even though he's lost one of his legs. That's right. And then Val went to join the rest of his friends in the city of Ravenna to get ready for the journey back to Thule. Let's read now and see if they begin the trip today. Very well. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Eckhart Breckett, Grey Malkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Back in Ravenna, three friends tried and true. Make merry at a banquet. First picture. For the time of parting is at hand. Yarlegal and Rufus Regan are to see that the caravan of churchmen, their servants and luggage, come safely over the long road to Thule. Prince Valiant must go by the perilous sea route. For the young Arff who we see hard at work in the second picture, the land journey would be too painful and Val will not let him go alone. So Val and his friends have a big banquet and which they have a jolly, jolly time. Then Val goes to Rome and picks up Arff. A litter is made for him which is suspended between two horses. And first picture next row, the trip to the coast begins with Val and Arff in two service. But Arff's leg still pains him and the trip to the coast is one long agon. Finally it's reached and here a sturdy ship is found. A ship bound for Sicily where men of the north have settled in great numbers and carry on trade with their homelands. Once at sea, last picture, second row, Arff triumphs pacemally to master the art of walking again with a rude crutch that Val has made for him. He struggles manfully as Val helps him. First picture bottom row, their ship passes Mount Etna, a volcano which sends hot lava shooting up into the air with huge billowing clouds of smoke. Mount Etna, breathing terribly, threatens them for a while and then is left behind. Last picture, they come at last to Syracuse where long ago the power of Athens was broken and Rome took its place as mistress of the world. Here in this busy harbor, they hope to find a ship sailing for Thule. Take that long trip when he still doesn't feel completely well. Yes, he is brave, but I'm sure he'll get along fine now with such a true friend as Val to help him. Yes, I think so too. It's wonderful to have a good friend like Val. Yes, you bet it is. And it's nice to have a good friend like you to read me the funnies every single day. Well, it's nice to have a good friend like you to listen to me. Next week... Oh, you bet we will. Well, now how would you like to read Donald Duck? Oh, I just love to read Donald Duck, you know that. Very well, then let's go over the page, past the Lone Ranger, past Jungle Jim, and on page six in the middle, there's Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee, chicka-chack. Let's have music to fit a quack-quack. Today Donald and his three nephews are going on a mountain climbing expedition. Donald has a flag with the words painted on it. Donald Duck's Man Killer Mountain Expedition. And Donald says to Louie, We're going to plant this flag on this summit. The summit is the very top of the mountain. Donald says, If we make it, we'll be the first ever to set foot on the summit. They tire up to each other so no one will slip and fall, and they begin the climb, third picture top row. As they sweat and toil, Donald says, I guess I'll take all my skill and ingenuity. Finally, they reach the top of the first peak. They see 30 feet away, another peak, a little higher, so Donald takes careful aim and flips his rope, which settles around the top of the other peak. And Donald ties the rope around the peak he's standing on. And then last picture top row, Donald and his three nephews walk across the rope like tight rope walkers at a circus. And they reach the top of the second peak. And they start climbing up another peak, which goes almost straight up. First picture bottom row. Donald says as he groans, Don't reach, boys. Remember, the honor that will be ours. Nearer and nearer the top they get. Finally, Donald says, It won't be long now, boys. I can see the top. I'm gonna climb. Finally, Donald reaches up, finds a hold on the ledge with his fingertips and says to his nephews, This is it, boys. The scummit. Pulls himself up. Peaks over the edge and sees something that makes his eyes pop together. Last picture, his nephews stick their heads over the edge and they see a sign which reads, For the better view lots, See Hitch and Company Real Estate Brokers. Hitch Hitch Hitch Hitch Flag is at the top of the mountain and he finds that someone else has been there before. But how did those other people get there? Apparently, there must be a road that goes up the other side of the mountain which Donald didn't see. Oh, that's Donald. Well, now what would you like? Oh, I'd love Dagwin and Blondie, please. I'd love them too, so let's pick up the first page of the second section. And here we go with Dagwin and Blondie. Ramaphoo, Ramaphum, Sim, Sim, Zombie. Come to me music for Dagwin and Blondie. Dagwin starts getting ready for bed, saying to Blondie, I'm going to bed early tonight and get a good night's sleep. I need the rest. Meanwhile, at the dither's house, Dagwin's boss is having a terrible time with his wife. She's chasing after him with a chair as he screeches, Oh, Kara, no, no. And she yells, He opens the door and dashes out at the night yelling, Oh, Kara, no, no. Last picture top row, Dagwin, who has settled down at bed, hears his doorbell ringing. He sits up, exclaiming, Great Scott, who can that be ringing our doorbell at this hour of the night? When he opens the door, first picture, next row, Mr. Jithers grabs his hand and tells Dagwin a sad tale. Oh, Kara and I quarreled. She locked me out of our house. The tear trickles from Dagwin's eye, the right eye. And Dagwin says, Come in. I'll make you some coffee. Half hour later, Mr. Jithers is drinking a cup of black coffee and the tears are trickling from his eyes. And he sobs, Oh, thank you, dear boy, for your kindness. I'll sleep in the park with the other broken, unwanted old old men. And the tears roll down Dagwin's cheeks and he sobs, Oh, no, Mr. Jithers, please don't go. I insist you stay here and sleep on our sofa. And he bets Jithers down on the sofa and spreads a blanket over him. Last picture, the row, Mr. Jithers kisses Dagwin's hand and says, Dagwin, dear boy, I'll never forget this. I'll be grateful for the rest of my life. Suddenly the doorbell rings and then the door bursts open and Mr. Jithers' wife dashes in, screeching, So, this is where you are. I've been frantic of the worry about you. Mr. Jithers drops to his knees in fear, second picks a third row and points at Dagwin saying, Oh, it's all Dagwin's fault, dear. He insisted I spend the night here. Whereupon Mrs. Jithers leaps for Dagwin who tries to get away. Around the room they go. Mrs. Wethers yells at Dagwin, Oh, so it's your fault. So, it's you who's trying to break up our happy home. Finally, she brings him to the floor with a flying tackle and first pick your bottom row, Mrs. Jithers snarls, You, home wrecker! And Mr. Jithers says, You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Dagwin Bumpstead. And Mrs. Jithers goes to Mr. Jithers saying, Come, dear, we'll go back to our dear little home. And Mr. Jithers puts his arm around her and walks out the door, cooing, Our little love nest. And Dagwin, who was lying on the floor, opens one black eye and then the other and dizzily staggers upstairs. Blondie takes one look at his black eye and says, I thought you were the person who said he wanted a good night's sleep. Because Mr. Jithers was unhappy, then Mr. Jithers lets this happen to Dagwin. I feel the same way, that big coward blaming Dagwin for his troubles. You know what? Dagwin should quit his job and never work for him again. Then Mr. Jithers would be sorry. Well, now? Oh, look, I'm on the page. Read that, please, will you? I'll read that in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. And with Pock the Comic Weekly, and on the bottom of the first page of the second section, Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic words for the music scene. Very well, my lady. Ah, yep, I owe. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yep, I owe. Roy caught up with the bandit who had stolen Trigger Junior and found him trying to hold up a train. The bandit seemed to be quite inexperienced and turned out to be a timid fellow who couldn't even get his gun out of his holster. Trigger Junior bucked the bandit off and the train engineers get their hands on him just as Roy rode up. Roy asks him what the big idea was of stealing Trigger Junior. The bandit makes a break and runs for the horses again. Roy tackles him and brings him to the ground just as a shot rings out. A tough-looking man gallops up, holding a rifle and all of them. He sniles at Roy. Take your mitts off the mask, man cowboy. Dick Dolan is dealing in here to help out a fellow road agent. I'll find out later what he's doing in my territory. As Roy drops the clumsy bandit and holds his hands up, the man with the gun tells the engineers last picture top row. All right, climb into your iron horse, boys. Eyeball out of here. You, Jesse James, get on your chaos and don't try nothing, cowboy. The timid mask bandit runs for Trigger Junior again, saying... Thanks for liberating me, Mr. Dolan. We road agents must stick together. Roy makes a jump at him, first picture about a row, saying... You're not stealing Trigger Junior again. He's Trigger's son and he belongs to me. The man on horseback yells... I told you to stay out of this, cowboy. Maybe this will teach you that Dick Dolan means what he says. The ox roys out with a rifleman. At this moment, the engineer who has climbed into the cab of the locomotive reaches for a lever and gives it a quick jerk. Hot steam shoots out at the horse and the horse prances about as the engineer last picture yells to Roy who's lying on the ground. Roy, watch out! You'll be trampled! Yeah, look, that crazy clumsy bandit is running for Trigger Junior again. He wants to get away from both Roy and Dick Dolan. I won. Well, next week we'll find that out and see whether Roy comes to in time to prevent Trigger Junior from being stolen again. Now let's turn over the page. All right, it's by the moon man named Rock. Yes, a mad scientist from Earth who had succeeded in overthrowing the human and now was ruler on the moon. And just as a good beetleman was helping Flash Gordon get loose from the ropes he was tied up with, Rock came out again and aimed his gun at Flash and said he was going to kill him. Quick, read and we'll see what happens next. Very well, here we go with Flash Gordon. Rigger, Rigger, Doon, Doon. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Flash has barely finished melting the spun glass ropes that bound Dale and Professor Bright when Rock appears in our old... Drop that torch or I'll fire. While Rock's attention is centered on Flash Core, the beetleman steals up behind him. But Rock senses danger and whirls around blasting Wildy with his ray gun. Flash, last picture, top row takes advantage of Rock's momentary distraction to charge at him with a blazing torch. The flame touches off the charge and the moon tyrants ray gun and the weapon backfires. And Rock vanishes in a white hot blast of light. First picture, bottom row, the noise of the struggle in the cavern attracts a swarm of beetlemen. Speaking by telepathy through the friendly King Core, Flash addresses them. The tyrant Rock is gone. You moon men are free. Core will lead you again to live in peace with the Earth. The moon men accept Flash as their friend and assign a crew of mechanics to repair his space rocket. Flash makes a friendly gesture in return inviting the moon men to send one of their number as a visitor to the Earth. To receive the friendship pact, Core offers a token gift saying, The Earth man, Rock, collected these shiny meteor crystals. Perhaps you would like them. Flash and Dale stare in amazement because the shiny crystals are huge diamonds. Flash takes those back to Earth. You'll be a millionaire. Isn't that wonderful? I'm so happy that he's a friend of the beetle men. And now the people on the moon and the people on the Earth will be friends and they won't have any more trouble. Well, let's hope that's the way things will work out. Now? Well, now it's time for Dick's adventures. It is. Let's go over to the last page and Dick's adventures. Do you remember that by General Benedict Arnold? Yes, and Dick is suspicious that Benedict Arnold is up to no good. The general has him secretly guide an English officer, a Major Andre, through the American lines. I think that this Major Andre is a spy. And if General Benedict Arnold has any dealings with him, I think he's bad. Well, let's find out more about it right now. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Under pretence of negotiating for the exchange of revolutionary war prisoners, General Benedict Arnold, at this point, meets secretly at night with British Major Andre. But dawn comes, and Andre can't get back to his lines. Dick receives orders to hide the enemy officer in a neighboring farmhouse. As they approach the farmhouse, a dog announces they're coming. The farmer opens his door, and on being shown the note from Benedict Arnold, the farmer, last picture top row, reluctantly agrees to give Andre shelter until nightfall. Upon being shown to a room, Dick and Major Andre prepare to relax until night, first picture next row. Dick sees Major Andre peer nervously through the curtain window, and deeply suspicious of treason, Dick ponders on how to get a look at the paper which he knows is hidden at Andre's boots, noticing that Major Andre is overly vain of his appearance. Dick says, as he sees him, take off his boots. They could stand a good polishing, sir. They could stand a good polishing, sir. Andre hands his boots to Dick, who polishes them. But the British officers supervise his watchfully. Finally, Andre lies down to take a nap. His boots beside the bed. Sometimes, light fingers can outwit sharp eyes. While Andre rests, Dick, last picture second row, steals a glimpse of the map of West Point with all the gun batteries clearly marked for enemy eyes. But spies don't necessarily have to be sleeping when their eyes seem shut as Dick discovers too late. As Dick is reading the note, first picture bottom row, suddenly, from behind him, a blow on the head knocks him out. It's Andre who has seen Dick reading the secret plans. Retrieving the treasonable plans, Andre quickly dresses, slips from the house, steals a horse from the barn, and speeds undercover of darkness to the British lines only a few miles down the Hudson. Last picture, in an upper room of the farmhouse, a dazed Yankee sergeant struggles furiously to get himself free. It is Dick who comes to finding himself gagged and bound and lying in the room of the farmhouse. And Major Andre and the paper's gone. See, while it's in those papers just then, he should have waited until a safer time. Yes, I think you're right. Maybe the farmer, though, maybe he'll hear Dick taking on the floor or something, and then he'll come in and help him get loose and then they can send somebody to catch that Major Andre. Well, we'll find out next week because now it's important that Major Andre gets caught. You see, if the English get those plans of the fort, they'll know exactly how to capture it and take it away from the Americans. Oh, I can't wait to see if they do stop him. Well, now what? Oh, let's see. Let's redress the rally. Here he is at the bottom of the page. You remember last week that me and Smith had knocked Tex out with the rock when they got in a fight, and then he ran towards the locomotive and he was going to try to escape on it. Yes, and by the time the sheriff and the state policeman looked up, he was starting the locomotive. Please read now and see if they catch you. Very well. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallup and run until the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. As Tex hears the locomotive starting up, he exclaims, Hey, don't let that man get away, Sheriff. He's an enemy agent. He's wanted by the FBI. One of the possey exclaims, Yeah, and if he gets that engine on the downgrade, we'll never catch him. The sheriff says, Come on, men. The state trooper exclaims last picture top row. And Frank comes. He's on the downgrade with the throttle wide open. The sheriff says, Yeah, he won't go far. And what do you mean he won't go far, Sheriff? Well, there's a hairpin turn near the bottom of the grade. That there engine won't hold the rails over 15 miles an hour. They watch the locomotive as it nears the bottom of the hill. Faster and faster it goes as it nears the curb. Then, as it hits the curb, its wheels leave the track. And over it goes. The trooper exclaims as they run toward the track. You were right, Sheriff. We left the rails all right. And there's that fellow. He must have jumped. The sheriff, seeing Smith lying still, beside the track says, And he'll be mighty lucky if he ain't dead. A moment later, Rusty and Tex are watching as the sheriff and the trooper arrive. And he'll be mighty lucky if he ain't dead. And Tex are watching as the sheriff and the trooper examine Smith who's unconscious. The sheriff says, He's in bad shape when he lives. I think he's got a broken leg. The trooper replies, There's a shack for the phone down the track a bit. I'll get a doctor. Tex says, If you don't mind, I'd like to make an important call, too. Last picture a little later at Milestone Farm, Mr. Miles hangs up the phone and says to his daughter, Patty, Well, that was Tex, Patty. He and Rusty are safe. I'll tell you all about it in a minute. But first, I've got to call the FBI. Yes, you bet it has. Isn't that wonderful, though? Tex and Rusty are safe from any more trouble with that mean mess he has the secret plans. And you know what? I'll bet you he'll be a hero when he hands them over to the FBI, won't he? I think he will. But we'll find that out next week. All right. I'll surely be here, Mr. Conny. And now that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice man with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all you boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right. Next week. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man. The jolly Comic Weekly Man.