 It's frequently said that behind every great man there's a woman, and our Miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School is convinced of the validity of that remark. It's true that in the years she's been going with Philip Boyington, there may have been times when he's been unaffectionate or even in a tentative disorder. But one thing she's been certain that one and only one woman has had any influence on his life. Yes indeed, and that woman I'm proud to say is his mother. I wouldn't say that Pilssey is tied to his mother's apron string because since I've known her she's never worn an apron. However, he certainly depends on his mother's opinion in practically everything. At times this isn't bad because I know she's fond of me and her impending Thanksgiving visit this past week seemed to produce some excellent results. Last Wednesday morning, Mr. Boyington broke a precedent and invited me on his customary early morning nature walk. It was beautiful in the park early in the morning, and as we walked along with the sun barely visible above the treetops, I felt that Mr. Boyington, just as I, could feel the romantic implications of our setting. Suddenly he stopped, drew me toward him, and in the voice choked with emotion said, Miss Brooks, look over there, a perfect specimen of a sharp-shinned hawk. Mr. Boyington, is that all you have to say? Oh no, the sharp-shinned hawk lives almost entirely on small birds, frequently raiding chicken farms. They're also destructive to quails. However, they're almost never seen in this part of the country. Have you ever seen a rarer bird, Miss Brooks? Only on the Madison High faculty. Is that why you asked me along on your walk this morning, to show me specimens of wild vise? Well, no, there was another reason. It was partly mother's doing. I thought so. Yes, she called me at school yesterday and must have spent half an hour giving me advice. You'd be surprised what she thinks of you, Miss Brooks. You'd be surprised what I think of her, Mr. Boyington. But you shouldn't listen to everything your mother to death. Oh, I don't. Even though Mom was a school teacher herself for many years, she does come up with some pretty peculiar notions. Can you imagine? Now she's after me to get married. As I say, follow everything your mother suggests. Christ of the letter, Mr. Boyington. Well, if the truth be known, I have thought about it, Miss Brooks. But Mom's idea is that a man should marry a much younger woman than himself, a very young woman, in fact. A very young woman, Mr. Boyington. But Mom doesn't mean some girl in her teens as someone more in her early 20s. How much more? According to Mom, most women follow that song. They're either too young or too old. Remember that song, Miss Brooks? No, I can't say I do, Miss Boyington. It was popular about nine years ago. Oh, well, that explains it. It was before my time. Nine years ago? That was before your time? From now on, everything was before my time. That is, I don't remember every song from my early teens. Really, I don't know where you got such an exciting idea. Isn't that Miss Enright standing over there next to that gnarled oak? Well, I saw it is. For a moment, I couldn't tell them apart. Oh, and now she sees it. I wonder what she's doing out here. If I know Miss Enright, she was probably listening at the switchboard when your mother was speaking to you yesterday. She's been alternating with Harriet Conklin on the job since our switchboard operator quit again. Well, if it isn't dear, dear Mr. Boyington and his faithful bird dog. Imagine running into you out here. What a pleasant surprise. For whom? Good morning, Miss Enright. My, this is a coincidental meeting, isn't it? Yeah, particularly since you had those coincidental earphones over your coincidental ears at that coincidental switchboard yesterday. Well darling, whatever you're talking about, I'm always taking long walks early in the morning. You really enjoy these nature walks too, Miss Enright? Enjoy them, I adore them. Why, I can't think of anything I'm closer to than Mother Nature. What about Father Time? Oh, now Miss Brooke, if Miss Enright really is interested in nature, she'll want to know what I discovered. Oh, indeed I would, Mr. Boyington. Well, I just found a sharp-shinned hawk in the bushes back there. I'm wondering where you ran into, Miss Brooke. Yes, well that is interesting. I'll bet you'll never guess what I ran into. What? A pair of the most beautiful field mice. Oh good, then I'll be wearing my pinafore and pigtails. See you later. Bye, Miss Brooke. There you are. I was hoping you'd be back soon. How was your walk, dear? Well, it helped me to lose my appetite. Oh, did you eat on the way? No, we met Miss Enright. Well anyway, the walk gave your face a bright glow, dear. Why, you even look younger. I ought to. I'm at least nine years younger than when I started out. I've got a big surprise for you this morning, dear. Some people I know you'll be glad to see are in the next room. Really? What are their names? Odell. Come along, dear. They're waiting for you. Well, here they are, Connie. Mr. George Odell and his father. Mr. Odell says he's an old grad of yours. Well, I'm always glad to meet an old grad. How are you, George? You're shaking hands with my father. I'm your old grad, Miss Brooke. Oh, of course. How silly of me. Now, let's see. You must have graduated from Madison at least three or four years ago. No. No, I was in your English class when you were teaching at Jefferson High nine years ago. You were just starting to teach, then. I know. I began teaching there as soon as I got out of kindergarten. I mean, I was very young. You're probably just now getting started in the business world, eh, George? No. George is a doctor, Miss Brooke. A doctor? Well, that's just as well. The way I feel now, I'm going to need one. I knew you'd be surprised to see me, Miss Brooke. Oh, surprised isn't the word for it, George. How soon are you getting out of town? How long are you staying in town? Well, we were just passing through, Miss Brooke. George has a patient to see in town and wanted very much to see you again. And, uh, since I'm an old grad of your principal, Mr. Conklin, I thought it would be great to see him. Mr. Conklin taught you, Mr. O'Dell? That's right. At McKinley High, 30 years ago, he was just starting to teach himself at the time. I wonder if he's changed. No, he hasn't taught himself a thing, then. So, Mr. Conklin was teaching 30 years ago. That's right. He was very young. If I know Mr. Conklin's reaction, he stepped right out of the cradle into that job. Well, it's certainly nice to see you both. I, uh, suppose you'll be in town at least a couple of hours. Oh, we planned on being here longer than that. How long? Three or four hours? No, dear. They're staying overnight. And, Connie, since George tells me he was such an old favorite of yours, I have another little surprise for you. What is it? I'm reasonably sure. I've asked him to stay with us overnight. Now, isn't that a real surprise for you? I may never recover. I'm right, Cluphal. Mr. Boyden's mother urging him to get married to a much younger woman, and with me doing my best to be that much younger woman, it was quite a problem when an old grad of mine decided to show up. Particularly when said old grad happened to graduate from another school I had taught at nine years ago, and was staying at my house the same night Mr. Boyden's mother was due for a visit. I was passing the refuse cans in the main hall at noon, deeply engrossed in my problem, when I suddenly ran into something soft. No gas! Terribly sorry I ran into you, sir. Can I help you up? Why not? You helped me down. Premeditated attacks you've made on my person. This is the worst! Just look at this suit. Of course you can, and fortunately nothing happened to the brown hat you're wearing. That happens to be the remains of a half cantaloupe. Those I should consider myself fortunate that I'm still in one piece. And it so happens I wanted to see you anyway. A message, sir? Yes. A George O'Dell call to see if there was anything he could bring over to your house this evening. Oh yes, of course. George O'Dell. He's an old graduate of ours, sir. Graduated two or three years ago. Two or three years ago, eh? He happens to be Dr. George O'Dell in this room. Well, he always was a quick student. Don't you remember him, sir? Well, I can't say that I do, since I wasn't teaching at Jefferson High nine years ago. Or was it eleven years ago? I was little for nine. However, I know how you feel, Miss Broke, since I'm faced with a similar predicament. His father has the fantastic notion that I taught him thirty years ago. Can you imagine me teaching anyone anything thirty years ago? No, sir. I have a tough enough time imagining it today. It does seem fantastic. Why, thirty years ago I was barely out of swaddling clothes. But frankly, Miss Broke, I'd give anything if O'Dell's senior didn't think I was the same man who taught him years ago. But why, sir? Well, I'm up for the job of assistant school supervisor for this district. That would mean my relinquishing this position. However, the one obstacle in my way is that Mr. Stone wants to slightly younger man. The truth of the matter is I'm going on forty-four. Yes, sir, but where are you coming from? You don't look a day older, sir. I know, and I've practically convinced Mr. Stone I'm young enough for the job. However, since O'Dell knows Mr. Stone, this could ruin the whole thing. I wish there was some way I could convince O'Dell I'm not the same man who taught him. Would you help me, Miss Broke? Oh, yes, sir. I'd do anything to get rid of, to help you. It really shouldn't be too difficult if he hasn't seen you in all these years. Why, all you really have to do is shave off your mustache and darken your hair at the temple. But he knows my name, Miss Broke. Well, you could put a junior in front of it and say you were old Osgood Conklin's son. Yeah, it might work at best. But personally, Miss Broke, I haven't got the nerve to shave my mustache off myself. Would you be good enough to do it for me? I've got shaving cream and a razor in my... A razor in your hand! I'd resist the temptation, even if I didn't know how strict the police are about that thing. Well, I don't suppose there's much choice. Come along, Miss Broke. Yes, sir. Now, you just get out the shaving cream and razor while I get a cup full of water from the cooler and we'll go to work. Very well. Ah, here we are. Now, just sit down and put your head back. Now, hold still while I apply this shaving cream. Miss Conklin, stop touching my hand. This isn't going to hurt a bit. Now, for a good dab of shaving cream. Right, sir, here we go. Good bye. There goes one side. Here goes the other. How does it look, Miss... I've never seen your face in the nude before. I'm wondering what happened to the Andrews' sisters. How about this old grad besides you two? Harry, it got the message from the new switchboard operator. Is the only other person who might have known about it to Miss Enright. She was showing the new operator how to use the switchboard. I'm dead. What difference does it make if anyone else does know about your old grad, Miss Broke? The reason is strictly personal. It has to do with Mr. Boynton and his mother coming over tonight. Oh, and with this Dr. O'Dell around, it'll make you seem a lot more immature than you want to appear. Is that the ticket? Uh-huh, and I wish I could use it to take the first train out of town. Oh, so, Gosh, Miss Broke, that shouldn't be such a difficult problem to solve. Well, just ask the doc to cooperate and tell him he graduated from Madison a couple of years ago. Well, I'm sure Mr. Boynton doesn't remember every student. Walter, you may have an idea. Well, sure. Yeah, I'll just lend the doc a sweater reminding a few other things and he'll look like a very recent graduate. You know, I think that might do it. Yes, I'm sure it will. Walter, I could kiss you. Miss Broke, you wouldn't. Oh, don't worry about Walter and me, Harriet. As things stand now, I'm much too young for him. Hopefully nice of you to help me out this way, Doc. Oh, not at all, Miss Broke. I understand the situation now. Well, this Madison high sweater should help me look like a recent graduate. Yes, and that beanie with two propellers helps even more. Now all you need is a silly grin on your face and you'll look like every member of my senior class. Well, I guess the Boynton's ought to be here any time now. Didn't you say 8.30, Miss Broke? Yes, that's right, and Mr. Boynton's always right on the dock. Well, my watch says 8.30 in 30 seconds now. Your watch is 30 seconds fast. George, although you look like a recent Madison graduate now, I'd like to avoid any slip-up, so if I can get rid of the Boyntons without having them meet you, I'd prefer it. Okay, then I'll stay in here until you want me, Miss Broke. Good. Mrs. Boynton, how are you? Well, you're looking just as fine as ever. We're looking just as fine as ever, too. Well, you certainly haven't changed a bit. Well, you certainly haven't changed a bit either. Well, uh, this time you go first. Please, come in. Come in, Mr. Boynton. It's a pleasure for us to be here. Well, oh no, you won't trap me into that again. Now that you're both here at my house, I have an excellent idea. What? Let's go out to a movie. Movie? Miss Broke's mother had a rather tiring trip. Would you mind if we stayed home tonight? Not at all. Let's go back to your home and stay there. Well, what still it meant is that we'd prefer to visit with you here this evening. Now that wouldn't inconvenience you, would it? Oh no, of course not. But it's rather stuffy in here. The heating system's on the blink and it's awfully warm. Anyway, Miss Broke's were both extremely anxious to meet the old grad Miss Enright told me about. Yes, sir, it's getting warmer by the minute. What a fantastic story she told me about him, too. Wait till you hear it, it'll kill you. It may, it's sad. She said he graduated in your class nine years ago when you were teaching at another school. Why, nine years ago you were probably just getting out of high school yourself. The ink was barely dry on my grammar school diploma, Mrs. Boynton. Would you like to meet our old graduate, George O'Dell? He's reading in the other room. Oh, Georgie! Wait till you see him. He graduated from Madison three years ago. Yes, ma'am? Do you want me, ma'am? Yes, Mr. Friday. Ah, George. Mr. Boynton and his mother. Hello? Uh, I, I hope we didn't interrupt George reading George. Oh, that's okay. I've gotten through the part where the Batman killed a purple giant with his ray gun. A typical graduate of Madison High. George graduated three years ago. Three years ago? That's strange. I would have remembered him if he graduated then. Well, certainly. You can't remember every student who graduated from the school, Mr. Boynton. But George said he remembered you, didn't you, George? Uh, yeah, sure. Mr. Boynton's the best French teacher I ever had. I teach biology. He probably sounded like French. But what did you expect? If you can't remember him, why should he remember you? But I remembered most other students, Miss Brooks. Did you participate in any extracurricular activities, George? Well, um, uh, I was on the debating team three years ago. I was coached that year. Well, it's certainly too bad nobody bothered to introduce you to. But I don't see what... You're very welcome, too. I'll get it. Good evening, Mr. Brooks. I was just driving by, so I thought I'd drop in and see Mrs. Boynton and meet that old grad of yours. You don't mind if I come in to you, darling? I don't know what else I can do with your foot in the door. Good evening, Mrs. Boynton. Well, Mr. Boynton, and your dear, dear mother, how are you, dear, dear Mrs. Boynton? I'm good, dear, and you'll be over the limit. Oh, and this must be your old graduate, Miss Brooks. I waited for Madison three years ago, but I can't seem to remember him. Can you, Miss Enright? Of course I can, to feel faint. Miss Enright? Miss Enright, what is it? I don't know. Maybe if I slap her face, it would bring her around. Oh, no, let me have the fun. Oh, that's an idea. Mr. Boynton, dash out into the kitchen and get a bucket full and we'll throw it on her. In the middle of the best thick bed scene since Camille. Enright, if you'll wait a moment, I'll see what I can do. I've got my little black bag in the closet. Your little black bag? He's got to have someplace to put his little comic books, doesn't he? Well, what do you know? He's a doctor. Then it was true. He did graduate nine years ago. Just as I was getting out of grammar school. Well, better now, Doctor. My trouble seems to pass. Mine's just beginning. Yes, it's true, Mrs. Boynton. Dr. O'Dell was my pupil nine years ago, and I'm not 21. I'll take it this time, Miss Brooks. That's probably Dad getting back from his visit with Mr. Conlon. Hello, Dad. Hello, Joe. I have quite a little gathering here, haven't you? How are you, Mr. O'Dell? Why, Sally Boynton, as I live and breathe. I beg your pardon. Do I know you? Know me? Don't you remember little Harry O'Dell, the kid you were teaching when I was at Wadsworth Junior High 35 years ago? 35 years ago. Why, you yourself can't be over 40. Well, that brings George down to 19 and me back to 21. Anyway, Miss Brooks, what difference does age make if I've said that to my... Mother, for the last few weeks you've been insisting... You heard your mother, my fella. Oh, Mr. Boynton. What age qualification that I must insist on? What's that, Miss Brooks? That the justice of the peace is young enough to remain standing throughout the ceremony. Well, the age problem, once and for all, hadn't been accounted for. I'll get it. Why, sir, didn't you get the job? Didn't my scheme work out? And how could Mr. Stone think you're too old for the job? He doesn't. Now he thinks I'm... Well, that might not be necessary, Mr. Conson. What do you mean? A few more days like this and I'll be old enough to retire.