 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay calm And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic the one surprising motion that makes a man respect you one surprising emotion All right really quickly if you're new to my youtube channel, please hit the subscribe button hit the bell I usually shoot about three or four videos per week for your enjoyment pleasure Okay, our topic the one surprising emotion that makes a man respect you So that's interesting. I once heard a relationship Therapist who's in her 80s plus say that a Man a woman feels respected when she's cherished and a man feels cherished when he's respected And I've been thinking about this for a long time and I'm here to say Oh, how about when I'm respected? I feel respected and when I'm cherished, I feel cherished How about that? How about we take those two and don't put them together? Let's keep them separate because respect is Demons is is basically When we respect another human being we're saying you are important to me you are important to me and At least from my perspective and it says that I actually value you This is in romantic relationship, okay? so when you respect someone you're saying you're important to them and they value you and they actually You know because think about respect, you know, what's the operas respect is? Disrespect disrespect is saying I don't value you and disrespect is saying you're not important to me So what's it take to get a man to respect you? What's it take to get a man to respect you? Now I like the way Brene Brown talks about something that I think is hugely important And I'm gonna by the way I'm gonna get to the one surprising emotion a little bit further along But I want to talk about Brene Brown for a moment if you're not familiar with her work Please Google her work. She talks about boundaries. It's one of her her signature areas that she talks about In fact, she has an amazing book called daring greatly daring greatly and if you haven't received check that check it out By the way, there's a link to all my recommended books below if you've read this book or you've checked out Brene Brown's work Please post a comment below. Let me know what you think of her work But the title of her book is how the courage to be vulnerable Transforms the way we live love parent and lead How the courage of being vulnerable? So a boundary is basically saying what's okay and not okay for me What's okay and not okay for me? Now you might be thinking well Jonathan is that is is a boundary the one surprising emotion that makes a man respect you Well, yes, absolutely boundaries do that But it's how you deliver your boundary that makes the difference And that's what I want to lean in today is how you deliver your boundary and while I you know If you've read my book what the heck is self-love anyway, and if you haven't please check it out By Jonathan Asley my first chapter is speak your truth do it with kindness speak your truth do it with kindness So boundary is best to be delivered because it is your truth a boundary is what's okay And what's not okay for you another way of looking at a boundary is your standard Is doing a kind way, but I also want you to begin to apply something new and this is the surprising emotion I want you to adopt and that's Firmness firmness firmness now in other words firmness basically means is this is important to me This is important to me and when you treat something important for yourself And that's what firmness is then a person can either choose to accept it or Reject it, but if they were accepted it's probably because they respect you and if they reject it It's because they disrespect you now I'm not here to suggest firmness in a confrontational way. Okay, or in some sort of Of controlling way. I'm talking about seeing it from a place of empowerment. I'm firm about this and I want to give you two examples What is from my own personal experience? I Dated a woman years ago. This was a decade ago where we began dating and Are you know the first our first night that we slept together the next morning? She said something to me and she said look I need to share something with you Jonathan You snore and you snore badly you snore and you snore badly by the way ladies If you've ever dated a man's who snored, please post a comment below But she said it and she's basically said look I'm gonna if we're gonna be in relationship together I need rest. I need eight hours of sleep every day and I couldn't sleep with you last night And if this persists then this relationship isn't gonna work Now she said it not in a confrontational tone, but she said it with a level of firmness This is a boundary for me And I need this if you want this relationship to continue So you know what I did is I googled at that time how to cure snoring I found out that you can actually get something called a snore guard a snore guard. This is mine inside It's too grody to show you But but I found was a dentist can preform a guard for your mouth Which actually raises your chin or moves your chin a little bit so allows airway to come through Lo and behold, I you know it took about two weeks to get and we met navigate. I told her what I was doing We navigated it and Eventually when I got it the snoring almost went away I mean it went from like all night long to late just five minutes in a night Okay, now she delivered it from a place of this is important to me She was firm and I said, you know what because I wanted I want to be with this woman. I was open to Accommodating her it's because I respected her I respected the way she shared it with me and I want to share you another story of a client of mine who's in a two-year relationship and There happens to be an issue in his home where there's a lot of clutter and In her life when there's clutter. She doesn't feel safe. I mean clutter to her She's not obsessive compulsive or anything But clutter doesn't feel safe for her and he's kind of open to having a messy desk and things like that and And and there's an office that he wants to says that she can use For her professional life because she works from home now because of COVID and everything But she's like look, I don't feel safe in this office and this is really important to me and she said it Firmly in other words, this is important to me and because he genuinely cares about her because he genuinely respects her and he respects her because she didn't do it all passively She didn't do it at all in leaning back feminine energy. She was being solid in her empowerment In fact ladies, I'm a big proponent be solid in your empowerment Dare greatly don't lean back Don't be in your feminine energy be in your empowered energy because that's how we choose to respect another human being Yeah Now listen, this might turn off some men. Yeah being firms gonna turn off guys It's gonna turn off the guy who's genuinely not that into you or doesn't respect you and believe me plenty of men treat you ladies like low-hanging fruit and I'm here to say when you step into your empowerment when you step into yourself love You become the top of the tree in your life and when you're the top of the tree of your life when you're firm by saying What's important to me? You can express it in a kind loving way. That's okay And we're gonna respect you for it because if we genuinely care about you We want to make you happy and it demonstrates that we respect you as well Mmm. I'm sure you have some thoughts about this. You might even have some questions Please post a comment below. I read all the questions or at least I do my best and I try to respond to several of them Also, if you've been feeling like this resonates with you if this content resonates with you and you've been thinking about hiring a coach Check out my free discovery call to see if working you can call with me But to see if working with the coach is right for you. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off Giving myself a big gigantic job to bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love If that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and We can all use more love in our lives. Thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye. Bye now You