 the reason why the narcissist doesn't respect you, the reason why the narcissist doesn't admire your abilities, qualities or achievements, the reason why they don't have due regard for your feelings, wishes or rights. When the narcissist first meets you, they do appear to have quite a high opinion of you. They like everything about you, and that is why they target you. They are hoping that you will be able to provide something to them, will improve their lives in some way, but the problem begins when you start to get involved with them, when you've spent enough time around them, when you're no longer a stranger, when they've learned you. That is when they begin to devalue you, that is when they begin to disrespect you, but this also has nothing to do with you as a person. You haven't really changed, your abilities, qualities and achievements are still the same, but the narcissist now sees you differently because they are projecting their negative traits onto you. Once you have spent enough time around a narcissist, they become envious and jealous. They start comparing themselves to you, they start to feel like you are outshining them and that makes them feel inferior to you, that makes them feel like you are taking the spotlight away from them, so they become envious, they feel this need to take something away from you so that they can regulate their emotions and boost their self-esteem, they become very resentful towards you because they expected you to change their lives, they expected you to live up to their impossible expectations, they feel like you failed them, they feel like you should have done more, they hold you responsible for their failures which then causes them to become bitter and resentful towards you, it makes them no longer respect you, it makes them no longer care about your health and well-being because in their minds you weren't there for them when they needed you, so they hold this grudge against you because they feel like you did something to them and they don't really care whether or not it was intentional, it's just the fact that they feel hurt even if you didn't actually do anything to them, if they just feel hurt about something that's enough for them to hold a grudge against you and when someone hurts us we do lose respect for them, the problem is the narcissist can be hurt by any slight criticism or perceived rejection, they are very sensitive people so anything could set them off, anything could trigger them to no longer have any regard for you, the reason why the narcissist doesn't respect you is because you're around them, because you're interested in them, because you want to spend time around them, once you spend a certain amount of time with a narcissist they are not going to respect you anymore, the way they're thinking is that if you were such a great person why would you be around them, why would you be interested in them, why would you want to spend time around them, narcissists have very low self-esteem, they feel worthless and insignificant so they assume that anyone who associates with them must be the same, in their minds if you were anything great you would be moving on to something better, you wouldn't have any interest in being around them while a person with high self-esteem would assume the opposite to be true, they would assume that anyone who wants to be around them must be an amazing person, but narcissists think in the opposite way because they hate themselves and they think you're crazy for wanting to be around them, they think you're crazy for trying to love them, when they know that they are unlovable, they act arrogant, boastful and superior to compensate for how they really feel about themselves, deep down they feel completely worthless and unworthy of anyone's attention, they've created this delusional reality in their heads, well they are everything that they wish they were but none of that ever manifests into reality, they're just playing pretend and they know that after a while you're going to figure that out, they know that at some point their mask is going to slip and once you've seen what they're really about, they lose respect for you, they cannot feel any respect for someone who doesn't respect their false self, but by doing that you will be disrespecting reality and you will be disrespecting yourself, so to make the narcissist respect you, you would have to value their false self over reality and over yourself, that's just how it works and if you look back to the beginning of the relationship, you will remember that when you believed their false self was real, everything was fine, they appeared to respect you, but as soon as you began to notice the cracks in their false self, that is when everything began to change, the narcissist doesn't respect you because you don't respect their false self and you don't respect their false self because you know it isn't real, you have to respect yourself enough to walk away, once you've figured them out, you cannot respect them and yourself at the same time, you have to make the choice between respecting yourself or respecting the narcissist, but once you've figured them out, no amount of respect is going to change anything, they are still going to disrespect you because deep down, they know you know what they are, they know that you remember everything they did to you and while they may not feel bad about anything that they've done, they do see it as an insult, they do see it as an act of disrespect that you even see them in that way and that is why remembering or bringing up acts of past abuse will never change anything with a narcissist, it will only give them more motivation to finish the job. Thank you for watching, I hope this video resonates with you, please like, comment, share and subscribe, click the bell icon to receive notifications from my future videos, if you liked it today, my paypal link is in the video description, coaching inquiries, you can email me at NarcisfyTheCoachIn at gmail.com, thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.