 Next caller is Ethan from Florida. Hey, what's up Ethan? What's your question? Yeah, so my question, you know, I really appreciate the way that you guys are framing things and the mindset that you guys are teaching around wellness and being healthy and being as self-care as opposed to, you know, beating yourself up. I'm just curious if you have any tips for someone that's been following you guys a lot on how to express these and maybe shift views of family members, whether it be your spouse or siblings, to try and get them kind of a bit more health-minded, exercise-minded. God, you know, this is probably one of the most common questions I think as a trainer that I would get and I think I failed at answering it correctly for the first half of my career. It's one of the most difficult things to handle. It is. And, you know, so Katrina and I have been together for 10 years and you know that if you've been listening to the show for a long time and it wasn't until year five before she even came to me and asked for any of my help. And, you know, because she was somebody who was into exercise, I was like, okay, whatever, but I knew if she was doing everything wrong. And that's really hard for somebody who that's my profession. I'm watching her do everything wrong. And yet she didn't want any of my advice. And I knew from prior relationships and from being a trainer for as long as I'd been that if I tried to tell them without them asking, they would never receive it right and they would never apply it to their life and it become a behavior. And so the only answer that I had was to live the example and let them see what living a healthy lifestyle do and get them to ask me questions. And then I had the opportunity to teach. Ethan, how long have you been consistent with fitness and health for yourself? Consistent or how long I've been engaged are two different answers. I'm a father of a five-year-old and a two-year-old, so the consistency over the last five years has waxed and waned, but really it's been since high school. I was a wrestler in high school and it really got me into fitness and through high school, through college and really until kids is when the consistency started to fall off. But since really getting back engaged and getting on MAPS programs, I've been very consistent for a while now. Who's the person that you're referring to when you say family? And I'm assuming there's someone specific that you want to help. Yeah, so I'll tell you, it is my wife, but when I told her I was talking with you guys, I presented it as family. But she saw right through my BS and realized I was talking about her. Smart lady. Ethan, let me ask you a question and be totally honest. When you're doing something and you're doing it wrong, do you like your fiance to tell you that you're doing something wrong? How does that feel? Well, if I had a fiance, my wife would be very upset. Oh, my bad. Your wife is sick. Sorry, maybe that's why he has an alias. My bad, your wife. No, look, I see your perspective of 100%. That's exactly why. I would say that I have never enjoyed an exercise routine as much as I'm enjoying MAPS and I've been doing it now for many months. And I would love to get her engaged on it and that's kind of part of the issue. I agree with you 100%. I know that no one likes criticism, especially when it's something that's so fundamental. And so I'm more looking for a way to make it encouraging, making it that kind of positive mindset that Sal talked about on the podcast with Arthur Brooks. I mean, that's just a beautiful way to think of exercise and it's just so much more encouraging. And it's hard to express that, I would say, as a layman, especially to family members and your spouse. Now, do you guys work out at home or do you work out at home and does she see you working at home? Yes. Now, does she ever want to be included in that? Have you tried to incorporate that at all? I work out at 6 a.m. and she's just waking up when I'm finishing and convincing her to give up some sleep. That's not going to happen. She's been trying to get into some other things, but she's at home with the kids and I'm home working from home. And so I think part of it is just the stress of the pandemic and stress of really having to care for the kids much more than if we had a more normal schedule and a more normal environment. But you know, the engagement isn't there right now. Okay, so there's a few things I'll tell you. Fitness is strongly connected to personal betterment and personal growth. So when you tell somebody that they should work out, that they should start to eat right, they immediately, it's very natural for them to think, you want me to be better. It's no different than if she came to you and said, hey, I think it'd be awesome if you started to take some courses in learning how to do this thing better. Like, well, what are you talking about? So automatically feel criticized. So but now that being said, there's a couple of things you could do. Number one, Adam's exactly right. Be the example. And what I mean by be the example is you show her just what fitness does. You have more energy. You feel better. It's really, you feel great. You've got a better attitude that might convince her and then now I'm going to give you some hacks. So after you do that, let me give you some hacks. Okay. So it's a wonderful way to get your wife to do something with you. Ask her what she would like to do and then do it with her. So she may say, I want to do yoga. Let me do yoga with you. And then when you do it, here's what you do. Tell her how sexy she is when she's doing it. So while she's doing yoga, be like, oh my God, you're so hot when I'm doing this with you. This is like the hottest thing ever. And you want her to connect that connection with the fitness. And in my experience, that's a much more effective approach. Trying to tell somebody to work out or never works, never works. There's got to be an element of inclusivity. And I think that if she felt that, you know, and you're like, maybe, maybe you step down your workouts personally a bit just so you make yourself available so you're around. I actually went through a bit of that with my wife with, you know, there's a learning curve to this whole thing and just to be working out and maybe like take my intensity down just so I could kind of go through the reps and explain what I'm doing. She was paying attention to what I was doing just because I kind of, I organized my workouts around when I knew she was available. But I mean, that's not like something that you always have to do. It's just probably a good way to spark it at least. Well, let's not forget either that nutrition and lifting weights are only two things that's related to your health and fitness journey. I love that Sal recommend like yoga because here's, if I was trying to get, you know, my wife to get into exercise and I feel that there's resistance there. One thing I haven't met a wife yet who doesn't like to have a alone time with her husband and go on a walk and talk. That's it. You know what I'm saying? And so I'm going to find other things that I think that she's going to really enjoy that's going to improve our overall health, right? And that could be, you know, making a tradition now that after dinner we go for a walk or when there's times that you guys have somebody who can relieve you from the kids that you you make time to go do physical activities. And that could be a hike on the weekends where, you know, maybe mom or mother-in-law is watching the kids and you get to go out for two hours and go hike somewhere pretty or, you know, or meditating or reading together. All these things are all growth aspects or pursuing a better version of the two of you. And just because maybe we are you and us are into nutrition and weight lifting and that's the things that we kick ass at and we like and we see the most results from, doesn't mean that we can't find something else that's related to the health journey. And then you start to build on that. And like Sal mentioned earlier, you know, you start getting into that and you start sparking that growth mindset. All of a sudden you guys are reading together. You're walking after dinner together. And now she's getting a little excited about or interested or curious about some of the things that you're doing in the weight room or with nutrition. And that opens the door there. But if you try and force them or push what you're doing as far as weight training or nutrition on them, it's a dead end. Like it's not going to last. Yeah. In fact, in one last thing, in fact, if you push too hard in my experience, they'll actually not do it. They're more likely to not do it. Yeah, you'll get the opposite. You'll get the opposite. Yeah. How would you maybe nudge? Because I think the one place that's like an easy place to make a change doesn't require any more time. It's just making different decisions. How would you nudge someone on the nutrition side? I know I've heard you guys talk about focused on addition of healthy foods first. And we do eat relatively healthy, but both of us have a bit of a sweet tooth and just trying to break that. How would you nudge someone in that regard? Okay. This is a wonderful hack. Okay. This is an easy one. It's a sense that changing nutrition is always hard, but easy in the sense that making that initial step is actually quite simple. You need to do all the grocery shopping and start preparing the food. I was just going to say, you do the cooking, you take over one night and that's where it starts and you just start introducing it. Yeah. She's not going to complain when you're cooking or you're the one that did the grocery shopping. And I think you guys are both kind of swinging for the fence a little bit. I'd make that even simpler or just pick one night out of the week that you want to try a new meal that's healthy. That's right. Find a recipe online. I mean, they're everywhere, right? And find something that looks interesting to you or her. And it could be something you do together. Prepare it in the kitchen together or you prepare it for her, but start to experiment with healthy dishes and you start by maybe you preparing it first and see if it starts to catch a little bit of traction. Yeah. Hey, you know, like something like, hey, you know, Tuesday, I'd love to spend some time with you. Do you want to go on a walk or a hike together? And then after that, I'm going to make you dinner. I want to, I'd like to make you some dinner. I mean, that's a date, you know what I'm saying? To her, she's like, wow, that is a romantic date. And you do that, you know, enough times. She starts to build a wonderful association with doing activities with you. And before you know it, she'll be in there lifting weights with you. That's a great idea. No, I appreciate that. I want to thank you guys. That's the last thing I just want to say. I want to thank you guys. I'm so happy I found you. I'm so happy with the workouts. Keep up the hard work because I know it is hard work. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. All right. Have a good one. You too. Yeah, so that's great that he found us through Arthur Brooks. I love that guy. You know, what he's asking so many people struggle with when they find fitness, they, it's like, you know what it reminds me of? It's like, it's like evangelizing. Yes. Someone finds religion. They want to tell everybody about it. It's exactly like that. It changes your life. Exactly. It's hard not to blame them for that because it's changed your life so much. You're so passionate about it. And it's a positive thing that you're giving them. It's hard for you to not understand why they're not receiving it. I mean, I struggled with this as a trainer for years. I mean, I, the first like decade, like because it was so life-changing for me, I was telling everybody and, you know, trying to push everybody in that direction. Annoying everybody. Yeah, totally. You know, so it is, it's, it's, it's tough and it's hard to hear. But I mean, I, even when I remember coming into Katrina's family, when I was, when I was new to the family, I was right in the thick of like competing and carrying my Tupperware around. Oh man, I swear they didn't like me. They hated me because it was so annoying because they had so many like family parties and get togethers. But it was after they saw like the result, the plan, everything that I was building towards and then getting into competing, then all of a sudden the attitude of like, you know, having this like nose up in the air about Adam bringing his Tupperware. Now all the family was coming to me asking for advice and how did you do that or how can you help me. Imagine if you showed up preaching. Oh right, exactly. Oh man. And making them feel guilty for what they were doing. Like I was, yeah, so it's, it's tough. I tell you, if you have, if you have good connecting time with your significant other, you know, you flirt with them, you have fun during the workouts, they'll want to do that stuff with you, you know. Well they make time for them. The key is to understand that it's not always got to be resistance training and nutrition. That's right. There's lots of other things that encompass health that I bet there she is into. I guarantee a long walk with her husband and having a great talk about their day, she would absolutely love, you know, and so you start with things like that that are going to appeal to her and then you build upon them. Yeah, get reconnected first. Right.