 verses 22 through 24 here in Ephesians chapter 5 I'll begin reading in verse 22 read to verse 24 and give you a study on those verses wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord okay let's close with prayer for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore just as the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything and so I'm going to begin with a riddle and I'm gonna read it just to make sure I say it right once upon a time a perfect man and a perfect woman met after a perfect courtship they had a perfect wedding their life together was of course perfect one snowy stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress being the perfect couple they stopped to help their stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys not wanting to disappoint any children on Christmas Eve the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their car soon they were driving along delivering the toys unfortunately the driving conditions worsened and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident only the driver survived the accident who was it well the answer is the perfect woman she's the only one who really existed in the first place everyone knows there's no Santa Claus and there's no such thing as a perfect man so if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus the woman must have been driving which explains why there was an accident okay here we go as we begin our study here Paul has just instructed the church concerning what evidence is spirit filled life and he contrasted walking in the flesh with walking in the spirit the airmarks of walking in the flesh were described in chapters 4 and chapter 5 he wrote of a spiritually dark way of thinking that was evidenced by various sins he spoke of hardened hearts licentiousness uncleanness lying stealing obscenity and sexual sins these are the sins that characterize the pagan religious system that the unsaved Ephesians had once practiced and we're practicing included in those practices was the festival of Bacchus which was a drunken orgy so in contrast Paul had gone on to describe a life that was filled with the Holy Spirit and he said it's filled with fellowship and worship with thankfulness it centered on Christ it's earmarked by submission to one another and he made it clear that someone walking in the spirit would be with humility submitted a believer walking in the spirit loves other believers and lives at peace with them so Paul knew that a church could split if pride and self-seeking invaded it there needed to be an attitude an attitude of willing submission to other brothers and other sisters so to be effective the church had to live in love and humility and had to avoid selfish ambition these qualities that he wrote about are the fruit of being filled with the Holy Spirit so he'd been writing concerning the work of the spirit and he was speaking concerning the work of the spirit in the church so I now approaches the subject of the work of the spirit in the family and he begins by addressing the Christian wife now in verse 21 Paul had exhorted the church to submit to one another in the fear of God that is called a call for mutual submission and it flows into his instruction concerning marriage now submission is part of God's intention for an orderly home church and society in general and the principle of submission characterizes the entire Christian life Bible teaches us to be submitted to God and in James for example chapter 4 verse 7 it simply says therefore submit to God we're to be submitted to biblical leadership Hebrews 13 verse 7 obey those who rule over you and be submissive for they watch out for your souls as those who must give account let them do so with joy not with grief for that would be unprofitable for you we're to be submitted to government Romans 13 one tells us we are submitted to governmental authority and again I mentioned this in chapter 5 verse 21 here in Ephesians we submit to one another now when we speak of submission and we're gonna get to that in just a moment as it's as it occurs in the life of a Christian wife Jesus is the model of our of submission he's a model of perfect submission because he was submitted completely to his father in John 4 verse 34 he said it like this he said my food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work in John 6 38 he said I came down from heaven not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me so Jesus's submission is evidence to any who could see and would listen so we have an example of this when Jesus healed a centurion's young servant this this centurion's young servant boy whom he loved had been paralyzed he was in terrible pain and the centurion had come to Christ and it asked for help and Jesus had said and you know the story it's found in Matthew 8 Jesus said I'll come to your house and I'll and I'll minister to him well in Matthew 8 verses 8 and 9 this is how the centurion responded it says the centurion answered and said Lord I'm not worthy that you should come under my roof but only speak a word and my servant will be healed he goes on to say for I also am a man under authority having soldiers under me and I say to this one go he goes to another come he comes to my servant do this and he does it this man had seen in Jesus the model of submission and he called it out he said it I've seen this I'm like you I too am under authority Jesus was one under authority so to submit a submission to proper authority helps to create an orderly church in society as well as a family now in the home God has given leadership authority to the husband the father in 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 Paul said it like this I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ the head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God well here scripture commands wives to submit to their own husbands asked to the Lord now obviously this command has created a bit of a stir many women rebel against the notion that they're to submit to submit anywhere especially and perhaps even to their husbands they reject submitting because they're afraid of being dominated they're afraid of being suppressed by their husbands very often she's afraid of being made less of a person no opinions no valid feelings she fights against male domination rejects the notion of male leadership and I'm talking about Marie for just a moment no well the rejection of male leadership is demonstrated by the acceptance of male bashing you see this in media you see it in entertainment you see it as that which is openly expressed constantly I shared this once in the past I still remember how I had shared it and I said this you know in many commercials that we see if you watch TV at all in many commercials that we see and this is true a few years ago it would seem even more so now the way that husbands are portrayed in commercials we can't do anything can we we don't know how to do anything it always takes my brainy wife to tell me how to do things like even buy a car I mean commercials are that way this male bashing it's it happens all the time I personally have a problem with that I don't say much about it to anybody I obviously but Marie can tell you this I'll say oh give me a break I'll be watching a commercial give me a break are you kidding me that's just not real see but you can you can bash a male it's okay to do that but you had better never bash a female and it's become worse and worse and more more blatant I think over over the years and so male bashing is is is appropriate today and and but you would never tease with ladies and all of that you'd be surprised even in this church everybody knows I tease my wife I've done it several times already I just do that that's that's she can tell you this when I tease somebody it's because I feel very close to him and for me it's just a way that I just show affection and love that's what I've always done and it just comes out spontaneously it's not like I plan on doing that it just comes out you know for some reason and and my dad was the same way that's how he showed affection so I just picked that up and that's what I do so I was doing this many years ago here in this in this sanctuary before we built the the new sanctuary and and I had teased Marie and a lady who a lady came up after church and and said to me I have to tell you this is my first time here and I don't appreciate the way you spoke of your wife and I thought how interesting you know you've never been here before but but you know how I'm supposed to treat my wife so I slapped her and no I didn't I only wanted to I said I said you're not you know so this is your first time here and she goes yeah I said I said yeah I said if you came here more than once you'd see that I adore my wife and I teaser you know so sometimes people get very sensitive over those things but we have to be careful about that this rejection of masculinity is referred today as toxic toxic masculinity so to avoid charges of male domination society has stripped men and stripped men of their authority and so men and I'm saying only what we already know there are men who have become ashamed of being masculine and actually have become feminized and yet at the same time I have seen that many young women have become more masculine so what needs to be remembered is that God has created both male and female and as such men and women are regarded as individually equal before God in Galatians 328 it says there's neither Jew nor Greek there's neither slave nor free there is neither male nor female you are all one in Christ Jesus and so in marriage the context of submission is between the lover and the one loved it's not to be viewed as a servant and a master but it's to be viewed as mutual service to the Lord as we submit to one another and serve Jesus together and so Paul makes that clear when he instructs the husbands to love and if you look at verse 25 for a moment he says husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself or husbands are to love our wives sacrificially that's how we love our wives and so he makes it very clear that's what we're to do now focus on the family address this point well Paul's instruction they write to wives has to be read in tandem with his exhortation to men husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her it should also be understood under the umbrella of the apostles introductory admonition to all Christians of both sexes submit to one another in the fear of God so in this context it's been pointed out that the woman when she submits is actually demonstrating her love for her husband and the way she shows love for her husband is to respect if you look at verse 33 of this chapter it says nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself let the wife see that she respects her husband and so the way that my wife has demonstrated to me her love for me isn't simply because she she says those words I love you those words are easy to say but the way that my wife has shown me over the years that she loves me is when she's shown me her respect and so love for from a woman to a man is demonstrated in her willing submission to the leadership of Christ the headship of Jesus and the headship of her husband and the respect that she shows to the husband now next week we'll be looking or in a couple weeks we'll be looking at the the role of the husband but she evidences her love for her husband and demonstrates it by her respect and the way that a husband reveals love for his wife is by sacrificially nourishing and cherishing her which is what he says in verse 29 of chapter 5 when he said no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church and so in this way the wife is to submit to and respect their husband and again that's repeated you'll see that in verses 22 24 as well as verse 33 in a spiritual way her submission to her husband is a picture it's a picture of the church and Jesus Christ so notice in verse 22 how Paul says you're to submit but as to the Lord why I've submit to your own husbands your own husbands as to the Lord submit as to the Lord I'll never forget a woman I was speaking to on one occasion who was basically sharing with me about how her husband wasn't a good man and all of that and and I I'll never forget when I said you know the scriptures teach that the wife is to submit to the husband she said yes to the Lord and when he becomes as the Lord I'll submit to him and so that means they never will so the submission the woman yields to the husband reveals her submission to Jesus Christ submission to Jesus is done for his glory and is done to please him and as the wife submits to her husband in fact she's actually submitting first to the Lord and so as we're speaking about this let me define the word submit this the word submit in the English is actually a translation of a particular Greek word that can also be translated subject submit and subject in scripture very often is the same Greek word and the word submit or subject is used in two basic ways first it's a military term it refers to arranging divisions under the command of a leader but secondly it speaks of voluntary attitude of cooperation it speaks of yielding to or carrying a burden so in marriage biblical submission doesn't make a wife inferior it doesn't degrade her and it doesn't make her weak biblical submission is a sign of strength because it requires strong character on the part of the wife it's an attitude that serves to help her live a comfortable life of peace it also is one of the evidences of her respect for her husband and as she does this it limits the amount of arguments in Proverbs 20 verse 3 it says it is honorable for a man to stop striving since any fool can start a quarrel now the wife is not dormant she's not someone with no opinion of her own the wife has the responsibility of sharing her feelings the wife has a responsibility of sharing her thoughts with her husband obviously that's not only permissible it's extremely important for her to do so how else would I get to know who I'm married to if she doesn't express herself to me right and so she's not to just be quiet and never share her views she should be sharing her views but she does it with respect and that's a very important thing she needs to learn what to share when to share where to share how to share and how often to share it's been said a continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike and so we don't need a whole lot of the sharing you shared once I heard you okay so some thoughts and some ideas some suggestions are just not necessary to share because very often the comments that could be made if not done right at the proper time proper place etc is not simple is not seen as helpful but is really seen as criticism and so we have to learn those things Marie has to learn Marie had to learn those things I had to learn those things you know just because you get married doesn't mean you automatically get along in every single thing everything to say you're always going to just nod your head in agreement of course there are times that Marie you know disagreed with me and it took it took a while for her to realize how wrong she was but you know but she learned she learned we had to learn each other right I mean every married couple knows that you date and you're dating a situation very often you're on your best behavior and you know because you're in a courtship place and and then you get married and then some of those things that you one time did simply because you wanted to make points those things are no longer necessary there's the ring on the finger why do I have to do that some guys will get that way sometimes ladies will do the same now to have a good marriage requires work and it's work every day it's not a work you don't like I enjoy what I do I want to know my wife the scripture says husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge it's my responsibility to study my wife to know the things that please are the things that don't please her so that I might be able to minister sacrificially to her and know what to do in such a way that it'll be something that she's she's happy I did I've shared it before but I had to learn these things in the past I continue to learn them to this day because as you grow older you continue changing and so there are things that you learn over time new things that you learn it's part of the joy of being married it's also part of the work of being married but it's an important thing so you never really know them a hundred percent but you go to know them better and better as time goes by and and and the wife you know we'll have to learn how to communicate we had to learn how to tell me the things she wanted me to hear because I came from a different background my family was more outspoken we were more direct and and Marie's is more quiet and they didn't open up and still don't open up that much that easily so I had to learn timing I had to learn all these things she had to learn it with me and that's good it's it's part of being married it's part of the dance that we learned to dance together so a lot of women have a problem though with the submission and why is it so hard well let me give you a couple of thoughts about about that why is submitting to a husband so hard for some to do well we know it's part of the fall and it's part of the curse that came upon woman in Genesis 3 16 after the fall God spoke to the woman and he said I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception in pain you shall bring forth children he went on to say this your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you your desire shall be for your husband now that doesn't mean that everything hubby wants mama wants to do I just I'm here to please you no you see that word desire is also repeated same Hebrew word in Genesis 4 verse 7 where it says to Cain after his offering was refused if you do well will you not be accepted and if you do not do well sin lies at the door and its desire is for you but you should rule over it the desire that is being spoken of that word desire both in chapter 3 verse 16 as well as chapter 4 verse 7 in Genesis that word desire is a Hebrew word that can speak of dominating it also speaks of devouring so it's not that that Eve was going to be happy doing everything Adam said it was that Eve was going to have to fight with inner nature the desire to dominate him and to rule over him and so the Lord made that very clear from the beginning this desire to take control and and and all led to the usurpation of leadership and that's part of the fallen nature and it's cause problems in marriage from the beginning so what does Paul say again here in chapter 5 verse 22 wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord now he begins with the wife because her situation was difficult you see at that time if the husband was saved it wasn't something that would necessarily create a problem because his wife would come to church automatically because a wife could not refuse to do so but on the other hand if a wife got saved but her husband did not it could be dangerous her husband would consider her unfaithful not only to him but to his religious beliefs and that would cause tremendous problems in the home and it still does it could be physically dangerous for the wife because the wife had no rights you see at that time a Jewish woman changing her religion was absolutely unthinkable and by the way it still is to this day a Greek wife was to remain indoors bear his legitimate children and be obedient because the Greeks would have the wife to bear the legitimate child but he had the women on the side the Roman woman had no rights under law was regarded as a child before marriage she was under her father's authority and her father had the power of life and death when she got married this right was automatically transferred to her husband there was a Roman statesman his name was Cato the elder and he said if you catch your wife in an act of infidelity you can kill her with impunity without a trial so that's what was taking place when Paul was writing this wife submitted to your husband passage the atmosphere of the ancient world was that a woman was incapable of caring for herself and so you'd see how brave a woman would be if she came to faith in Christ but Paul says in verse 22 wife submit to your own husband's as to the Lord now notice he doesn't say divorce him he doesn't say argue with him he doesn't say preach to him he doesn't say give him ultimatums he doesn't say make his lunch and put in the bread you know in the sandwich you know when he bites it there's a piece of paper he opens it says man shall not live by bread alone he doesn't say to do that you know to try and win him he says submit submit you see biblical submission is spiritual in nature the enemy is attempting to destroy the home and he does that by destroying the marriage marriage is intended as I've shared with you earlier to produce godly offspring who are to not only embrace faith of Christ but also to communicate it to their own children and so the battle for marriage is at its core a battle for the future generations Satan especially works to undermine and destroy Christian homes that's because the marriage is the picture of Jesus and the church so somebody says well that may be true in a Christian home but what about the homes where the husband's not a believer why would a wife submit to a non-believer well the apostle Peter repeated the command for wives to be submitted to their husbands and in his case he was writing concerning believing wives and unbelieving husbands in 1st Peter 3 1 and 2 it says wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands and even if some do not obey the word they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear so Peter's emphasis in the passage was the value of the husband's soul why should she submit in order that they may be one to Christ now he speaks and says that even if some do not obey the word when he says do not obey in the original language it speaks of not a mild but aggressive disobedience some husbands are aggressively against the Lord and they're against a wife following Jesus Christ some of you know that he's the guy who will keep you from fellowship he doesn't want you taking the children to church he doesn't want you to serve he doesn't want you to change they get upset sometimes I've heard it over the years of my ministry what happened to her she changed she's not fun anymore she doesn't want to go out anymore she doesn't want to go to Vegas anymore she doesn't want to drink with me anymore she didn't want to go to the bars anymore she doesn't want to dress the way she used to dress anymore I don't like her she's changed and and so they get upset they and they'll say I don't want you going to church I remember one lady who approached me and said my husband has told me I I cannot bring the children to church because the children should go to his church he said but the problem is he doesn't ever go to church so his whole thing was he was mad because she was coming to church and changing he didn't like it and and there are husbands who aggressively resist this in the wife and they get angry about it and Peter was speaking about that he said some do not obey the word some aggressively are disobedient to the commands of God and sometimes his desire for his wife is for her to sin with him and it can be strong and it can be insistent he may not be physically abusive but he's opposed to this wife walking with Jesus Christ and I've seen this a wife especially one who has been recently saved often speaks of the Lord to her unsaved husband and and she she got saved God saved her and and she wants to share with her husband because she doesn't want him to perish and go to hell so she tells him what she's learning and he gets upset you know her heart is filled with the love of the Lord the joy being saved in Acts chapter 4 verse 20 it says it like this we cannot but speak the things which we've seen and heard we want to talk about that so the wife will come to church she hears message a message that encourages her to share their faith well they go home and they share with their husband he doesn't want to hear it sometimes he gets angry they don't like the changes the religion becomes important to them and they finally say don't talk to me about this anymore I don't want to hear it ever again so what can be done well Peter had said that they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives we need to remember that man may be called the head but women have influence tremendous influence we know that and it's a blessing that they do and and my wife's life is a testimony it's a testimony of her goodness a testimony as a Christian woman of the gospel and and a saved wife with an unsaved husband can have an amazing impact as she loves and cares for him you see Peter doesn't say divorce him he doesn't say argue he doesn't say preach he says submit she's not I had somebody asked me this she's not to leave him for a better husband I've had ladies say that well I'm saved now can I divorce my husband so I can marry a Christian husband no how's he gonna get saved you know the possibility of being saved when you remain with him is important in 1st Corinthians 713 Paul said it like this a woman who has a husband who does not believe if he is willing to live with her let her not divorce you see that's the only way possible or one of the most important ways possible that he might be one to Christ by submitting her life to Jesus ministering to her husband she may win him to the Lord now of course that's not always the case sometimes they are not willing to not only come to faith in Christ but they're not willing to remain with you so Paul went on to say in 1st Corinthians 715 if the unbeliever departs let him depart a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases God has called us to peace but what can happen well again in 1st Peter in chapter 3 verse 2 he said they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear that word observe in the original language is a very powerful word the word in Greek is it speaks of an intense scrutiny it's a concentration that is very very intense I have always called it instant replay concentration your your husband's watching a game there's a call that is being disputed on the field and he wants to see whether that call was proper or not he's he thinks it's an improper call and also and then you come and stand in front of him and say honey lunch is on and you turn the TV off you're not going to get a good reception if you do something like that he is concentrated on something and so men observe their wives men do we learn to watch our wives that's how over the years I've learned my wife not just by what she says but how she responds to what I say how she says what she's feeling I've learned her over the years she has been my besides the scripture she's been my number one object of scrutiny I watch her I because I know what she likes I know what she doesn't like I want to do that which she likes or if I feel like teasing her I will do something that I know she doesn't like just because I know she's gonna get mad and then I get happy and it's a lot of fun because I know what she likes and what she doesn't like but I had to learn that it's not just in conversation it's my observation because we can say one thing and do something different or perhaps do it in a way that is different than I'd have done it so that's what you do husbands are to learn their wives are to observe and what do they observe he said they observe your chased conduct they closely watch you they get a picture of what Jesus is like as they watch you and they're observing you for two things Peter says they observe your pure life and they observe your loving respect so they should see your your chased life your modest or pure life but secondly they see your fear of God and your fear of God is revealed through your respect for the husband they see your genuine admiration you don't mouth off you don't put them down you don't ridicule him you have a love for him and you have a faith in him and I and I'll say it this way I stand in this pulpit today by the grace of God of course I give him all all thanks for leading me down a path that led me here but early in our marriage when I wasn't doing well and when we were we were in in a great difficulty I've said this before some of you haven't heard it I wasn't going to share this but I will for just a moment brand new Christian Marie's a brand new Christian you know she's about a year old in the Lord I'm only two and a half years old three years old in the Lord we're married I went to the service of military for two years I got out so I go into school taught a Bible study met Marie she fell in love with her Bible teacher I was the guy with a lot of promise God's gonna use me I had this confidence I knew I want to be used by the Lord she loved that about me we were living in a little apartment in and I had to quit school because Marie is pregnant where she was going to have Corinne our firstborn and I had a very low paying job it was minimum wage and we barely were making it I mean we we had no money at all I felt like an abject total failure I mean you know a lot of people can this is kind of common in my era you know when we got married we didn't have people giving us you know huge TV sets and and electronic equipment and outfitting our our apartments with new furniture we didn't have that that wasn't my generation my generation was good luck we'll see you later and you had to go out and you know and make your own your own way that's what you do we didn't we didn't expect people to you know we didn't send out invitations and to whatever and say and this is my wish list and you can buy me one of these things we didn't do those kinds of things we didn't tell you where you could go and buy us what we wanted we didn't do that I mean our reception dinner was Colonel Sanders I mean that's what it was you know and and our and our marriage dinner was Taco Bell was a Taco Bell or it was Jack in the Box yeah and I splurged I got I got shrimp because I was a roller I had $200 and that was to my name that's what we had we had nothing and so you know we had a little apartment and Roland Heights we had a we didn't have a bed what we had is a rollout sofa you know so we'd roll it out we'd we had a table I bought at a Home Depot kind of thing and I it was just a little circular maybe 18 inches and I put some legs on it and put a cheap little lamp on it we had a 19 no it was a 19 19 inch TV I think was huge 19 inch TV we had a $99 dinette set that was it that's what we had that's what I gave to this woman my wife's a college graduate you know she's she's a sharp woman she's you know just adore her and and then I got depressed I got depressed I thought I'm a loser so what I used to do before I came to faith in Christ is I would deal with emotions believe it or not I didn't cry I didn't cry at all I bottled them and the only way that I ever felt that it was okay to cry was to drink so if I drank a little I could blame the alcohol that's how I did it I there's a lot of guys who know what I mean when I say that that's what I did that gave me an excuse I could blame the alcohol and that's what I did so I went out bought some beer Maria had never seen me drink or anything like that I mean our Bible study teacher I went out and bought some more and that's when I got a little it got a little bit inebriated I wasn't real sloppy drunk but I certainly had drunk enough to to know I don't want her to see me like this so I walked up these stairs and I went to our room and I climbed into our bed which was our fold-out bed and and I started to cry and that I needed to it was my excuse but I needed to and I still remember she's pregnant with Corinne I still remember hearing her footsteps going up those stairs coming into our little room and she walked she sits down next to me and and I had the pillow over my face and I was sobbing in it I was just crying like a child she says what's wrong and I remember pulling the pillow down and I said I'm you married the wrong guy you made a mistake you made a mistake you married me you deserve so much more look at me I said I am a failure I'm a I use the word loser I'm a loser I'm a failure I want to be a pastor but I can't show my emotions you made a mistake and I just sobbed and I'll never forget she's a young girl she picked me put her arm around me and lifted me towards her shoulder put her arms around me and began to rock me yeah like a baby she rocked me and whispered in my ear and said to me you're not a loser God is going to use you and she said I believe in you she could have torn me up she could have but I'm telling you when a wife loves a man like she loves me it makes this man want to be worthy of the love that she shows me that's how over the years I have earned her respect because she didn't tear me up and she could have and every wife knows the weakness of her husband every wife can point it out at any given moment every wife knows the thing that will make him cry if she says it but she keeps it to herself because she tenderly loves and references this man and by her faith and her love for that man it frees him up to desire to show her the kind of love she deserves so people will say I had a guy called the church and he says that guy always talks about his wife Marie this Marie that Marie I don't get it well of course you don't because you don't have a Marie in your life that's why you don't get it because if you had one you'd understand because my wife has made me the man I am not by trying to make me this way but being who she is and her love for me has made me want to make her know how much I love her so that's the secret we have here that's why you see me tear up when I speak of her she has never brought up never one time and all of these years ever brought up that that day I'm the only one who brings it up it was dead the minute she said I believe in you it was dead it's over I believe in you and when a wife believes in her husband and he knows that most husbands many husbands at least this husband will do everything he can because he doesn't want to disappoint her he wants to be that man that she wants so submission I was a little nervous that I might not be able to finish this and I don't think I'm going to because we have communion tonight this will be part one I'll go out and get drunk next week so we can have part two so submission submission isn't just doing what I say submission is an attitude of the heart and submission is revealed by the beauty of her inner being in first Peter 3 verse 4 Peter spoke of of it as the the hidden person of the heart he said the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God and so Paul says wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord now that would be regardless of her education her spiritual maturity her gifts her age or life experiences I've had people say my husband isn't saved he's not interested in growing as a Christian well your submission isn't predicated on your husband's attitude or characters not even his spiritual maturity you see the more mature you are the more you will do what is pleasing to the Lord and spiritual maturity is demonstrated by obedience to the Lord not the amount of information you have and so he says again in verse 22 submit to your own husband as to the Lord now he's not teaching the submission of all women to all men but he's teaching submission of wives to husbands she submits to her own husband because she owns him as her husband she has this personal allegiance and loyalty she has an intimacy with this man and she willingly submits to him because she possesses him as her own husband in the size Solomon in chapter 6 verse 3 it says I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine and so there's an ownership that she has for this husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church and savior of the body I'm wrestling right now to see whether I should take you just in a rapid fashion through the study or pick up because I don't know if I have that much that I can share with you next time I'll have to make some things up I want to serve you communion so I'm going to close and I'll pick up and I'll add some more information next study but let me share with you one one thing here I'll go back to when a husband loves a wife and the wife loves a husband submission is much easier and service serving him is much easier and it really is we went on a trip many years ago now Marie and I with some people in our church and other churches we all went I forget where I think it was Mediterranean or something we went with Pastor Chuck and and we got off at a particular site and we were on a cruise and there were like 300 or so people about 300 on the cruise tour because there are several churches united with Calvary Chapel Coast Mason we got off the off of the ship and we went to a particular location for lunch so you have to picture about 300 people and so this line forms immediately when you get somebody off the cruise ship and you're saying it's time to eat we're gonna eat in 10 minutes people event you know immediately get in line and so this is a long line and I'm sitting that I went and sat at a table I just sat at the table I'm not gonna go wrestle with with this I'll just wait that's what I do but Marie walks up to me and I had a friend of mine sitting here and Marie walks up to me and she says what do you want and I said I don't know what they're serving she says oh she says I'll just figure it out and I said okay I'm just I'm not thinking of it okay so she goes and stands in line no she's not pushing people out of the way don't you know who I am no she gets in the back of the line she gets in the back of the line and then she comes walking up to me and she puts the plate in front of me and I thank her and I said where's my napkin and drink go no I said I said thank you baby she went and got back in line to serve herself the guy who was sitting next to me his wife comes puts her plate in front of her and eats starts eating and this guy sitting right here says to me how'd you get her to do that he how'd you get her to do that I said do what how did you get her to serve you and I kind of shook my head like what and I still remember I said what how did you get her to serve you and I smiled I said I love her I love her he goes yeah yeah yeah how did you get her to serve you I still laugh to this day it's been 20 years but it still makes me laugh because that's the secret husbands love your wives when you love your wife your wife loves you back your wife learns who you are and ministers accordingly that's not there's nothing wrong with with this man's wife serving herself that's their relationship I don't carry the way and yes I can make my own yes I can put food on a plate of course who can I can but she won't let me if I want to get Marie mad to this day to this day I I it two days ago it happens all the time I'll be sitting down if I get up when after she's made the meal if I get up it's the first thing my wife will say is where you going and I'll say I'm gonna get sit down why I can get the sit down I was raised that way my mom stood at the stove or at the kitchen sink she would serve the family but she never sat my mom never sat she would ask my dad first what do you want my dad would say could I have this she'd get it and that's how I was raised now I didn't ask Marie to do that I'm a big boy I can make my own plate I can cook I can do those things but that's her service to me she doesn't like me to get up she doesn't like me to do things she want she doesn't want me going outside anymore because I fell if you look closely at my ankle there's a chain and it's she's holding it so anyway I'll talk to you ladies a little bit more about submission next time because I have so much more I want to share and I'm not I I've I really I won't do this study justice without giving you a second installment if you don't mind so let's let's close here and we'll pick up and I'll share with you some more next time and father thank you Lord for the opportunity