 The narcissist does this when you try to move on. You may have had enough of the narcissist and everything that you had to deal with. They manipulated you. They love bombed you. They lied to you and they future faked. And they deceived you. And they managed to keep you trapped for a certain amount of time. To where you were thinking that it had something to do with you. As though it was all your fault. But then after a while you started to catch on. You started questioning and confronting them. And they began to see that as a threat. As though you were going to expose them. Or as though you were going to abandon or reject them. Because that is what you need to remember about narcissists. Is that they have this childhood trauma. Where they were abused or neglected as a child. They were abandoned or rejected. And they didn't know how to deal with it. And it was very painful for them. And they never self reflected. They never looked within. They never tried to resolve these traumas. Instead they tried to resolve it. Using things outside of them. Using the outside world. To make themselves feel better. Which of course is why. It's like they just can't let you go. They may have told you while you were with them. That. You weren't any good. They may have devalued you and put you down. Made you feel small. But that was all just to control you. That was to stop you from leaving. To stop you from realizing that what you were dealing with with them. Was no good for you. Because they didn't want you to realize that. But at some point you did. And. Maybe now you have left them. Or they might have even discarded you. But either way they still took it as abandonment and rejection. And they felt as though. You might be a threat. To exposing them. To showing the world who and what they really are. But what's even greater. Than their image at times is. Their need to have control over you. Because yes they do have an attachment disorder. To where they can't just let you go. They have to. Be attached to you in some way. Because. It affects how they feel about themselves. If they just see you running off and you're just. Doing the things that you want to do in your life. And you're having a good time you're healing you're getting better. You're getting healthier. That is a real problem for the narcissist. Because how they see you affect how they view themselves. And how they feel about themselves. And of course as I mentioned yes they are. Very afraid of abandonment and rejection. They don't like the idea of that at all. So when you start to see through them. You start to recognize that yes the entire time you are with them. They were either manipulating. Or abusing you. They were putting you through all sorts of things. Things that they never owned up to. Things that they never took accountability for. When you finally realize that and you come to that conclusion. They are going to feel triggered. And it will cause a narcissistic injury. And they will fear abandonment or rejection. Or being exposed. They will feel like their supply is about to escape. Because that entire time that you were with them. Remember all of those times they manipulated you. They lied to you they sold you a dream. They future faked. They made you believe about possible future with them. And also all of those times that they. Devalued you they insulted you and put you down. They projected all that emotional baggage onto you. And expected you to carry that. All of those times they did all of those things. It gave them supply. It made them feel alive. It made them feel like they existed. It made them feel like their false character was real. But of course it's likely that only you saw the real character underneath the mask. The real person of who they are. Where they were constantly complaining and arguing with you. They were shouting and yelling and putting you down. There was emotional abuse. And at times it may have even been physical as well. And you had to go through all of that. But of course as we know with narcissists. Yes they are self absorbed or they lack empathy. They're not going to own up to that. They're not going to take accountability for it. Because they've just got too many skeletons in the closet. They may have been doing this to you for years. So they can't just stop now. They can't take accountability because they wouldn't even know where to start. And after everything that you invested in them. All of your time, energy, maybe even your money. They can't reciprocate all of that back to you. Many of them don't even have the means. Even if they do. Again they are self absorbed. They're very selfish and greedy. So they won't want to give anything to you. They want to keep it all for themselves. And of course once you begin to question and confront them. And threaten to expose them. They already know that you don't want to be around someone like that. You don't want to be around someone who is manipulating and controlling you. Someone who is trying to change your perception of them. Other people and the world around you. You don't want to be around someone like that. And when they realize that they know it's all over. Their game has come to an end. And just the thought of you. Moving on. Running free. Doing the things that you like. The things that they never got to do or experience. And their minds, it's so unfair. Because of course narcissists, yes they had a very rough childhood. They experienced a lot of trauma and abuse or neglect. They went through a lot of things. And because they never resolved these traumas. It's like hurt people just want to hurt people. So you may find that they want to put you through the exact same things. The exact same things that they went through. Because watching you go through it. It medicates them. It provides them with a sense of relief. Because I'm sure you will remember your experience with them. If you have left already. You will remember that they were always under a lot of stress. There was always something going on in their minds. Something in the way of them. There was always something bothering them. And yet they always blamed you. They always acted as though there was something wrong with you. And many of you, you may have been publicly humiliated. In front of their family members or friends. They may have tried to expose you on many occasions. Even for things where there wasn't even anything wrong with you at all. But they tried to make it seem like there was. Because deep down that's how they feel about themselves. But they want to project that onto you. Because of their childhood traumas. Their unresolved emotional baggage. Which causes them to attach to you. And use you to regulate their emotions. Because that's all that this is. It's a lack of discipline and self control. Especially emotionally. Because if their emotions were under control. It would not lead to these types of actions or behaviors. But of course they're never going to manage their own emotions. Instead they're going to try to control their outer world. And that means controlling you. So if you're not experiencing it already. In time you may become the target of a smear campaign. And that is when they will try to control your outer world. They will try to control the people around you. And try to get everyone to see you in the exact same way. Because that is the ultimate source of supply for a narcissist. That's why they work so hard to change people's perceptions of you. To get everyone to see you in this whole way. And it's usually very effective for them. Because the victim is not typically thinking like this. They're only thinking about how can I build with this person. And with the narcissist it's more just about smearing you. Because they must have seen you as something temporary from the very beginning. They must have known that you were the one. They were going to dump all of this on in order to save themselves. Because you've got to think that if something is important to you. And you have a use for it in the future. You're not going to treat it like garbage. You're not going to dump all of your emotional baggage onto it. Because you would understand that that is going to damage it. That is going to have a future consequence and effect. But also at times I think narcissists don't even really care. A lot of them lack self-awareness. So it's like they're just an autopilot. They're just doing what they need to do to regulate their emotions without even thinking about the future. Even while they're lying to you and they're future faking. Sometimes they're not even considering that. They're so wrapped up in themselves. They're very self-centered. But yes this is what they will do. When they fear that they're losing control. When they fear that they're no longer able to be a factor in your life. When they fear that you might move on and have a better life without them. When they fear that you might be happy without them. When they fear all of these things. They can't just let you move on. Because it hurts them. It causes a narcissistic injury. They have a great fear of rejection and abandonment. And of any threat to their control. And of being exposed. Because they're fake. And they're very weak. So they need to get their strength from somewhere. They need to find some form of power when you try to move on. And they see power in numbers. They believe that if they can manipulate other people and get them to see you in the same way. Then that means that they have won. They have defeated you. They have gained back that control over you. Because then it may make it difficult for you to move on. Especially if they've targeted you financially as well. Because they will do that to stop you from getting away. To make you dependent on them. Because that's what a lot of them want. They want you to need them. So that they can control you. If you can move on and you're fine, you're happy, you've got everything you need. Then you're not going to need anything from them. If you're self-sustaining. If you're independent. So of course they don't want you to be self-sustaining or independent. They want you to feel like you lack or you're deficient in something. So that you keep going back to them. And then they can have that control. And then you don't move on and do something that might otherwise trigger them. Which as you can probably imagine it's typically the very things that they never had. So they don't want to see you moving on and finding someone else. And having a healthy relationship. They don't want to see you moving on and getting married and having children with someone else. And having a happy family. Or even just you moving on and being happy by yourself. Even that is a trigger enough on its own. Because they could never do that. They always experienced a lot of stress. They were always going through all sorts of things. And their entire life just passes them by. They don't have these moments where they get to self reflect and feel inner peace. They don't get to have that. But they know that we do. Of course they sense that when we're alone we can be happy. We can experience peace, love and joy. Which is why they always want to disrupt it. Because they don't want you to be experiencing things that they can't. It makes them very envious and jealous and even sometimes competitive. Where they try to outdo you. But yes this is all because they are very insecure. And they're very weak they can't stand to see you move on. And it's because yes they are still attached to you. What you do affects how they feel. So in some ways it's almost like they're trauma bonded to you. You moving on and being happy it disturbs them. It bothers them greatly. They're very uncomfortable with that. They may not even be able to sleep at night. It keeps them awake knowing that you're out there somewhere. And you're just enjoying your life. Yes of course that bothers narcissists. They do not like that at all. They just want you to stay in the box that they've created for you. And just don't do anything that might trigger or hurt them. Because they are very sensitive. It doesn't take much to set them off. Any little thing you do could hurt them. And then they will want to lash out at you. They will want to control you this thing that they are deeply envious of. And you will know that because I'm sure you noticed a pattern of behaviour throughout your relationship. Where they were always trying to control you and take things away from you. Especially things that promoted and encouraged your independence. Maybe certain hobbies or interests that you had. Maybe when you would go out and spend time with other people as well. All of these things it reflected back to the narcissist. Their lack of control over you. So when they took these things away from you and they tried to isolate you. It was just for them to try to regain that control. Because it really bothers them it gets to them. They don't like the thought or idea of you moving on and being happy without them. And you moving on and doing things that they can't do. Because yes they are still attached to you. Even though you may have moved on. You may be just doing what you want to do with your life. You may be focusing on your future. Maybe you want to move on and have another relationship. Get married or have children. But they will always find something wrong with it. They will always find a way to discredit you. And make you look like the bad person. Because it's either you or them. And they just can't get around it. They can't deal with not having control over their target. Because that would mean that you could just move on. And do whatever you want with your life. And then it would greatly affect them. Because yes they are still attached to you. And they won't really be able to let go. Until you're no good for anyone else. Until they've driven you mad or insane. Until you've lost your mind. And you're heavily dependent on unhealthy coping mechanisms. Or maybe you're smoking or drinking alcohol every day. Maybe you're using recreational drugs. You're gambling or shopping excessively. You're spending all of your money until you've got nothing left. And then they may not care so much. If they know that that is it for you. And you can't move on. You can't find anyone else. You don't have a future at all. Maybe then they might let go. And they might target someone else instead. But in some situations even when that happens. They may just become an even more potent source of supply for them. Because then you're very easy for them to control. And that's what this is all about. It's control. It's all about them managing your perceptions of them. Managing your emotions. So that you don't affect them. Because they don't want you to find your power and use that on them. They don't want you to move on and become successful without them. Because all of these things would greatly trigger them. They tried to maintain a successful relationship with you. But they couldn't do that because they got triggered by your progress and success. By realizing that you are a much better person than them. They were always having these blow-ups, these temper tantrums. And you managed to maintain your composure. So that already tells them that you're a much better person than them. By you being able to do things that they can't do. Because they could never control themselves. They lacked discipline and self-control. They felt like they weren't even a real person. Because they had no control over themselves. So they had to use you for that. And this is just typically what people do. When they can't control themselves. They try to control their outer world. They try to control the people around them. And it's all because they lack self-control. Because they lack composure. But they don't want to accept it so instead they try to point the finger at you. And they may call you unstable. They may call you crazy. They may even call you the narcissist. And a lot of times after everything they've done to you. After all the times that they provoked you. Some of you may find yourself reacting in that way. And when you do, the narcissist will stand back and stay calm. And then they'll point the finger at you. They'll record you or they'll tell everyone about it. As though you were the problem all along. And they will say that they were just trying to help you. You had all of these problems. And they were just trying to fix these problems for you. But you were out of control. You were unstable. And there was nothing they could do. And that is what makes their smear campaign so effective. It's because they're not just saying bad things about you. They're also saying that they were loyal. They were committed. They were devoted to you. They spent all of this time and effort on you. And they did their best. They did everything they could. To make you happy. To make things right for you. To help you. But you just weren't having it. You were arguing. You were very confrontational. And threatening to expose them. Making up lies about them. So that's how they do it. That's how they enforce these flying monkeys. To get them to think that something is wrong with you. But the irony is they do this. Typically at the exact same time. That you try to leave. That you realize that this situation is unhealthy and toxic. It's dysfunctional. And you do not want to be a part of it. You want to move on and live a normal healthy life. But that sends a message back to them that something is wrong with them. And that's something that they cannot accept. Because they've never even began to work on themselves. They've always controlled everything outside of them instead. So they're not going to start now. Instead they will just enforce their flying monkeys. And start a smear campaign against you. In order to try to control you. Because otherwise you're going to move on and you're going to make them look bad. Many of you you don't even know your own potential. Because a lot of these narcissists they underestimate their targets. And if you could just move on. And you had some time and space to yourself. You could achieve some amazing things. You could become incredibly successful without them. And that would prove to everyone that you never needed them. But they need you to need them. That is how they control you. That is how they manage other people's perceptions of you. Which then makes them feel better about themselves. And I'm very sorry for those of you who are having to go through this. I know it's not fair. It's not right. No one deserves to be controlled like that. We all deserve to be free. We were given free will by God. We have the right to make our own choices and decisions. But unfortunately these narcissists have experienced a lot of trauma in their childhood. And they lack the ability to regulate their own emotions. So for that reason they do become very attached to certain sources of supply. And they won't feel right. They won't feel comfortable. Unless they can drive you to insanity. And get everyone to see you as crazy. And if you look back, if you look at the other people in their lives. The other people before you. You will see that that is exactly what they did to them. They changed them completely. They drove them insane. They turned everyone against them. Until they were completely isolated, they had no one left. And sadly, yes, they want the exact same thing to happen to you. They want to see you all alone with no money. With no one. Just on your own. Engaged in unhealthy coping strategies. Where you might turn to alcohol or drugs. Where you're hurting yourself. And then they don't even have to do it anymore. You're just doing it to yourself. That's what they want and that's when they're able to let go of their control. It's when they don't have to abuse or manipulate you anymore. Because they've already programmed you and you're just doing it to yourself. Until the day you die. And they do this because they're attached to you. Because they can't let go. And they can't let go because they're very insecure. So yes. This is just how it has to be with these narcissists. And I know and understand it is very difficult to live this way. To live without peace. Freedom. To not be able to exist in a normal healthy functional environment. Because they don't want you to have that. They act like something is wrong with you. The flying monkeys as well but they already know. They know that you would thrive in that type of environment. Which is why they don't give that to you. They don't give you any peace. Because they know that you would thrive in that. That's why it's all about control. It's all about dysfunctional treatment and behavior. Because they already know what type of person you are. They know that you desire peace. They know that you are a healthy functional person. Which is why they have to drive you to insanity. They have to gas like you. They have to make you feel like you're nothing. And it's very sad but this is what they will do. They will make you give up on yourself. They will make you give up on your own future. To where even if you have a job and you're earning money. You might just feel like you should just go and blow it all. Because you know that if you don't. They might just take it away from you. So what's the point of them planning for your future? You might as well just give up now. Which is exactly what they want you to think. But of course we don't promote that type of behavior on my channel. On here we do promote functional behavior. Believing in ourselves. Believing that things could be better. But they could never believe that way for you. Because they already knew that it was them and that there was nothing wrong with you. They just had to project these emotions onto you. So that they could survive emotionally. So that they could feel comfortable. And it's not going to stop. There's nothing you can do to get them to see sense. Because they already know that it's them and not you. Flying monkeys are narcissistic as well. They all have personality disorders or mental illnesses. That's why they have this unhealthy attachment to you and they can't let go. Because it's all based on their own childhood traumas. Which they are then taken out on you. Which is why it's not going to change. Many of these things do last a lifetime. And they are always going to be that way. So all that I can advise. Is for you to move to another city. Or maybe another country. Maybe to the other side of the world. It really depends on how significant you are to the narcissist. And how weak and insecure they are. That typically decides how extreme their behaviour and spear campaigns will be. And to the extent that they will go to control you. It all depends on how weak they are emotionally. And how insecure they are. And how threatened they are by you moving on. And establishing something that they couldn't. And that they had to project. On to their exes or family members in the past. To where they had to traumatise them. And perhaps put you through the very thing. Put them through the very thing that you are going through now. So yes. This is typically what they will do. And all I can do. Is advise as I have in my coaching sessions. Which is for you to just run away. Run away from it all. Not just the narcissist but their flying monkeys. Their family members and friends. All of them. Anyone who is connected to these campaigns. To this dysfunctional behaviour and mistreatment. You have to leave them all alone. You have to disconnect from all of them. Because all they are going to try to do is run their false narrative on you. So that they can feel comfortable and secure. Because yes they do attach to people like ourselves. People who are innocent and susceptible to control. People who they can manipulate. And if they have manipulated you in the past. They will believe that they can get you again. So the only thing you can do. Is leave them all behind. Because once you have triggered their abandonment. Abandonment wounds. And maybe you have threatened to expose them. They are never going to see you the same way again after that. They have a black and white mentality. So once you try to do that. It's all over for you. All they are going to try to do after that is destroy you. Destroy everything in your life. And that is never going to change. They are always going to be like that. Because they need you to regulate their emotions. They need you to make them feel alive. They can't do that on their own. They can't do that on their own. I can guarantee that if you just put them by themselves. In an isolated space. Somewhere in the woods. In the jungle. You just put them there for one day on their own. And they would go insane. Especially if you took away their devices. Their computers. Their phones. They would lose their minds. And the reason why is because they have no sense of self. They don't even know who they are. They have no identity of their own. They're just whoever they think people want them to be. Whatever they think will give them the most power and control. Which is why they just can't be left alone. They always need other people around them. Even though it may not seem like it at times because they often push you away. Or they insult you and put you down. But yes they are actually heavily dependent on you. Which is why at times they can also seem very suffocating as well. Because they get that energy from you. And that energy makes them feel alive. It makes them feel powerful. And that's all that they really want. Which is why they're so hell bent on controlling and destroying you. That's why they're so hell bent on doing that. But yes it is very sad. And I have to say that I am very sorry for anyone who is experiencing this right now. It's not right. It's not fair. That loss of potential. It's not just unfair for you. But it's unfair for many people around you as well. Because all of these qualities. All of these things that you could have been successful in. You could have gone on and shared those things with other people. You could have built a business. You could have provided jobs for many people. You could have started a family, a marriage with someone. You could have changed other people's lives. And this is how you know that yes they do only care about themselves. It's not just you. They don't just not want to see you happy. They don't want to see anyone happy with you as well. So they will happily take away opportunities from other people. Just in an attempt to control you. Because yes sadly all they care about is themselves. But yes, we just checked into this new room. Mia Nala. She's had a long day in the car. So she's just relaxing on the bed now. There's nothing more I enjoy than seeing other people happy and at peace with themselves. Moving on. And establishing healthy relationships with other people. And I can even say that for the people in my past. My exes, even the ones who were narcissistic and tried to destroy me. Of course I know that they didn't move on and find healthy relationships. That doesn't happen for them. But at times I wish that it did. Yes I wish that they could have just moved on and found healthy relationships because that's really what I wish for everyone is peace. And happiness. As long as it's real and not just another illusion. But sadly yes that is all we will get from these narcissists. And they will continue to try to control you because they see you as an extension of them. You're this object that exists to meet their emotional needs. And that's all you'll ever be to them. Which is why they never, and you may have been with them for decades and yet they never sat down with you and just had a normal conversation with you. Asked you questions about who you were, what you believed in, what mattered to you, how you wanted your future to look like. They never sat down and asked you anything like that. But isn't it crazy how when it comes to the smear campaigns they can put in all of this work. They can go crazy with it. They can enforce all of their flying monkeys and get everyone to see you in the same way. And yet at the same time it's like they never even knew you. They never even sat down and had a conversation with you. They never tried to understand you. So how could they possibly know anything about you? And that is how you should know that it actually has nothing to do with you at all. It's all in their minds. It's all just a response to their traumas. And when people are responding to their traumas, they can't even see you. You don't even exist in their world. You're just whatever is going to make them feel better in that moment. You're not even real to them. You're just an extension of them. Just this object that they're attached to. This appliance, this tool that makes them feel better about themselves. And they will never even take the time to get to know the real you. If they feel triggered and uncomfortable as though it may be a threat that exposes them, then they will try to pretend that they know they want to know more about you. But the reality is that they just don't care. None of that matters to them at all. They don't care about what you're going through. They don't care to understand. All they care about is their own emotions, which are the results of their childhood traumas. I really like these old town buildings. They just don't sign to you. I'm glad to keep coming back to this room. It's nice to see that. But yes, I know I have carried on a bit here with a message today. I haven't paid much attention to the live chats, but I really wanted to get this message out there. And I hope it was helpful, helpful for you. And if it was, you can give it a thumbs up down below. Share and subscribe. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section as well. I do read your comments every day. Thank you all for joining me on this live video. And me and Nala, we'll see you in another video very soon.