 I always hey friends this Dan Stephanie Burke. Welcome to behind-the-scenes Divine it's me to radio today. We're gonna be talking about marriage spirituality Marriage spirituality, so if you're interested in that the hot topic hang in with us before we jump into the show as usual, I want to give you an opportunity for spiritual growth and There's a course the Abilance to called introduction to spiritual theology So it's a disciplined expert exploration of the sacred doctrine proposed to induce the To you know what? I'm not going to read the formal thing. It's about how to become holy But this is for a website for a church for a school not for radio Anyway introduction to spiritual theology taught by St. Alfonso's Pinto Graduate course at the Abilat Institute Abiladesh Institute org Alfonso Pinto, sorry Did I say so Saint Alfonso? Wow, maybe he's the Saint the making he's a Saint maybe Dr. Alfonso Pinto, so wow I think it's I was thinking Alfonso somebody or something. Wow, okay. Well Today, yeah, so let's just go ahead and jump into the show on marriage spirituality Okay, yeah markets that go this is Dana Stephanie Burke Welcome to divine intimacy radio your radio haven of rest your hermitage of the heart your monastery of the mine where we lift their Mights parts and minds to heaven to draw on the wisdom of the saints to help us to navigate this tumult of life and Today we're talking about marriage spirituality and what we have are a bunch of questions sent in to us by Folks who are married? Because they have to be married to talk about marriage spirituality, right? About how to deal with marriage spirituality or how to start it or how to fix it or how to solve problems and all that Yeah, yeah, you ready? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll give you the first one How do so this is about marriage spirituality and spiritual warfare related, right? Okay, so how how do the husband and wife spiritually protect each other specific prayers question mark rosary question? Oh, okay. So how do I husband only spiritually protect each other? Yeah Um Well, it's interesting, you know, we we're blessed to get to do this these marriage retreats and This is a lot of what we teach. You mean divine intimacy marriage retreat. Yeah. Yeah Um, which will tell everybody a little bit more about coming up. Yeah within the show But there's a lot of ways, you know, I think the primary way when I look back at our journey and how we have grown in oneness with First with God and then with one another that's like the primary way that you Protect one another say that one more time. What is the primary way growing in oneness with the Lord individually and then together, right so growing independently spiritually right and then Say the right. I mean, this is really important. It is growing in oneness with one another, right, right? so Right, so it's we're not like Two ships that pass in the night. We're not roommates when we became one in the church when we exchange that sacrament, which is the only sacrament That's can that the husband and wife or the the bride and the groom confer upon each other It's not done by the priest, but it's actually done by the couple We became a new creation and a lot of people don't really Understand that they think it's like a contract or something like that But we actually became a new creation And so in that new creation We need to grow in holiness. We need to nurture that we need to uphold it and strengthen it and work Towards one another constantly in becoming that reality, you know in growing in that reality so It's really important, you know, a lot of people say well, what do I do about my my spouse? They're not in the church. I've had a conversion. He's not in the church She's not in the church or whatever because we hear it from both sides And the first thing is we we individually need to become holy Right, we need to chase after the lord not to the expense of our marriage. We don't leave them behind We don't abandon them. We don't check them off as being a lost cause and just it's me and jesus. It's never that but as I go deeper with the lord my my Desire to be holy and the graces that I receive Then spill out in and through me towards you To help bring you to holiness and the more that you seek after the lord the grace the lord gives you Throat flows in and through you towards me and then we become holier together I remember one of the most beautiful movements of prayer that That it just really changed my life is when the lord first Gave you to me and brought you into my life I was so profoundly grateful That I remember praying to the lord being inspired to pray this prayer right because it's not like it's something that You just kind of grab out of the air But but I prayed to the lord and I said Thank you for my husband Please love him through me please Grant him all the graces that he needs. Please Bring him to the holiness that you desire for him. Please bless him Profoundly through me And I think that's one of the greatest prayers you can possibly pray because what does that do it? It changes you as a as a spouse And then you're giving god permission to love your spouse Towards heaven, right? Yeah, so you answered the question. I think So the so the question was How do husband and wife spiritually protect one another? So You answered the question assuming like blank slate, which is fine And you gave you know important principles That are foundational Um, so I think then we can come up the next level and say, okay husband and wife are both practicing And they both, you know go to mass Weekly their confession monthly. Let's say they're What we might call authentic disciples of jesus. They're Living their life for the lord. I think what you provided is the is the foundational answer. I think to expand on that One when you sin You allow the enemy space in your heart mind and life Yes, when you're a maya when you're the husband and the father Your sin doesn't just affect you It actually provides a doorway into your whole family because You are the the The spiritual head of the family and this is revealed, of course in In scripture and Ephesians 5 and other other passages Where the where the husband is is the one who's going to be held accountable primarily For the for the well-being of the of the marital relationship and thus the family so the the husband in particular The first concern is get sin out of your life And I you know, I'd imagine some people are thinking what how do you do that? Like who does that? You know, but the church assumes presumes that you're doing that for instance We just came through a holy week And then of course divine mercy Sunday and the I mean this show might be heard at a different time, but the principles that still applies That there are great indulgences and things like that that that you can gain through holy week but Only if you are no longer attached to sin and you got a confession and mass and for the intentions of the holy father So the church presumes Constantly that we're fighting against sin and and eventually get free of habitual sin And so if you're a husband and you want to protect your family or provide spiritual cover The most important thing is to get rid of habitual sin because you're you're letting the enemy have space in your heart mind and soul And therefore in it will reverberate to your family sin is never individual never ever ever ever There's not a single sin that anyone commits That doesn't affect the you know, I think Father Bartunek and one of his books talked about the cosmic Effect of sin, it's you know the ripple effects of sin. It it just doesn't because It's just not possible to sin in isolation. You affect others. You affect god. You affect the demonic realm You know, and which which has its ongoing consequences Yeah, it's really really profound And you know, you said if you want to provide spiritual coverage for your family The thing is is that for for husbands And and I you know, I say this with all compassion Whether you like it or not You're the spiritual coverage for your family for good or for ill, right? You're either protecting your family spiritually or you're not or you're harming them. Yeah, right And and so it's really really important To get right with the lord so that you provide that coverage over your family. It's invisible You can't see it, but you will see the fruits of it So let's this is good. So let's just keep building on this because it's not okay. There's more so so then let's say that the foundations are in place what I just said was in place in terms of Legitimate pursuit by the way, I just want to say really quickly This is a divinacy radio. We're talking about marriage spirituality You made reference to an idea that's very clearly articulated in an amazing book. We recently helped bring to print by father Robert Altier Do you remember the title off the top of your head? God's plan for your marriage And it's amazing and it's published by Sophia press. Yeah, and you can I think you can find it at EWTN's religious catalog Yeah, or you can also pop out spiritualdirection.com and hit the shop button. Yeah Okay, so the next level is Those foundations are taken care of now. Let's talk about okay We've closed all the doors and the windows in our home to protect our family from the enemy because we're we're In a healthy sacramental marriage. We are pursuing holiness all of that Beyond that a daily rosary with the family is I think probably the next level of activity so Praying the rosary invokes Course to blessed mother Who is also terror of demons along with st. Joseph? And she will provide Just abundance of protection for the family through her presence your intercession for her and the enemy hates her Above all creatures because she is their their primary nemesis in terms of just humanity, right Aside from Jesus who's fully god and fully man So daily rosary with the family is an entire rosary damn No, no, i'm just talking about one of the mysteries I know but but what i'm i'm being a bit facetious because I think for a lot of catholics unfortunately because You know, I was one of them um This idea of oh just sunday mass And doing grace before meals means you're a good catholic. Oh, yeah, right, right like that's sufficient And it's not sufficient giving a nod to jesus. Come on winking the nods all it's required Yeah, we like you jesus Yeah, no it doesn't work like that. No, we get we and and our lady every time she appears In those private revelations that have been approved that every single time she holds up that rosary She's saying this is your weapon. Yeah, you must pray this it will protect you Um, and it helps to draw your heart and mind to the to the mysteries of christ Yeah, you know why is it powerful because our lady said so because it has grace behind it But it also reminds us who's we are. Yeah, it reminds us who's we are and what the lord did for us Yeah, so we need to fill our hearts and minds and the hearts and minds of our children Um with the truths of the faith, okay when we get back from the break I'm going to give you another book title that is fantastic spiritual warfare and the family I think it's the title of it Or but i'll check in during the break and we'll let you know about that book because that's a whole another level of um awesomeness in terms of Husband and wife i'm providing spiritual cover for the family and the children. So we'll be right back um Kathleen Beckman's look. Yeah, are you looking? I think it's on the shelf You're gonna check Yep, while she's checking. Let me tell you about another opportunity. Well, it's actually related to what we're talking about in the show Divine intimacy and marriage retreat november 3rd through the 5th of 2023 Shrine of the most blessed sacrament handsville alabama. It's divine intimacy and marriage retreat You can go sign up go to spiritualdirection.com check the events page Yeah, uh So go to spiritualdirection.com check out events and divine intimacy and marriage retreat november 3rd to the 5th Shrine of the most blessed sacrament amazing place handsville alabama, right right and amazing fruit Yeah, amazing fruit, you know this last one Um, we had a hundred couples Then we ended up with I don't know like 60 couples in our follow-up course after that on spiritual warfare and marriage and just the transformation and marriages we heard folks that were you know all all levels of Stability in their marriage from we had some engaged couples. We had some young couples We had couples who had been married 60 years. We had everybody in between We had those that were strong and wanted to get stronger and we had those that were on the brink of Falling apart and they came and got back on the right track. We actually had two that came to us We don't know about everybody, but we had two that came to us specifically and said I was going to leave and because of this it was been so Transforming gave me hope it gave me hope and I've moved back into the bedroom or I've decided not to leave And things are are changing and moving the right direction So there's just so much goodness there and it's not like anything else that you've done We didn't model it on anybody else's marriage retreats. This is purely the fruit of Our own experience deep prayer um The interior castle Just all of these really um deep truths about what it means to be one Uh and to grow in oneness. So it's called divine intimacy and marriage retreat Ascent to oneness this little play in words. Do you find the title of the book? Okay, let me try this down family guide to spiritual warfare Okay All right, let's head back into the show and your markets that go welcome back. This is dan and stephanie berk You're listening to divine intimacy radio. We're talking about marriage spirituality before the break I mentioned a book that I wanted to make sure I got the title right to We bring it to all of our events because it's it's that good family guide to spiritual warfare by cathleen beckman Family guide to spiritual warfare and that's published by sophie and suppress as well And you can find that at uh, awtn religious catalog. I believe spiritual director.com shop Yeah, either one. Um, and she really knows what she's talking about. She she's deep in the spiritual warfare warfare realm warfare So anyway, she really knows crazy wabbit. Uh, so she's she's um She's the head of uh, deliverance ministry or in orange county. Yeah the organizer of deliverance ministry for the prohibition van in Orange county, so she knows the this world inside and out So I think um, so back with the question we've been talking through is how to husband-wise spiritually protect one another specific prayers rosary There's one that'll be a surprise to people and I think you should talk about it Oh, okay, and that is how is it? So the so you and I were Asked to be a part of exorcism ministry and the priest who invited us asked he said that He wanted us there because he knew about our life of faith, but also the strength of our sacramental marriage So when in marriage your strength against the enemy For one another, you know to do the right thing It occurs You are strengthened when sacramental graces increase Right. How do they increase? Yeah Well, there's a number number of ways. Yeah, you know and and so I I appreciate the question because I just think it's so important and I I work with women in this area through deliverance and healing ministry through direction We talk about it at the spiritual At the divine intimacy and marriage retreats that we do Each year we do a couple of years so check out our our site to make sure you stay in touch with when we're offering those and get involved because you it'll change your life, but There's two ways and I'm going to talk about the one that probably everybody hates the most and it's this idea of being subject to one another Ephesians 5 And and I just cannot express how How incredibly powerful this is I don't talk about it a lot with the end, but You know, I'm a very strong woman scale of 1 to 10 37 Probably 37 million, right? Um, I I'm not a wallflower Um, even though I'm I'm kind of a mixed of introvert and extrovert Um, I do have a very strong strength strength of will And plenty of opinions, right? You know when my when my daddy raised me Um, and unfortunately, you know, I've already gone through healing when I when I'm about to say What I'm about to say I've already gone through healing for this, but He wanted a boy. He told me that so he raised me In strength like stand up for yourself and be strong and have opinions and all of those things, right? so Being married to someone who is also very strong and has plenty of opinions and everything I had to learn how to die to myself To allow you to be the spiritual head of our home And that doesn't mean that I always I mean not just the spiritual head just the head of our home just in the day to day the You know that and it's not that we don't collaborate a lot It doesn't mean that we don't talk and you don't ask my opinion But in the end the the lion's share of the responsibility falls squarely on your shoulders And if I circumvent that and if I manipulate and emasculate you and And crush you and make sure that what I want gets done I'm destroying our family I'm destroying our marriage from within and the fruit of it is disaster It's just happens over and over again in marriage. You see it Men capitulate because they want peace in the home and they want peace in the bedroom and women are manipulated and by fear primarily I think And and certainly the culture doesn't help of thinking well I've I've got to get all this under control because nobody else is doing it So it's left to me, right? So the enemy just gets right up in the middle of a couple And divides them and destroys their intimacy their their goodness their oneness From the inside when we get that out of order, right? My peace my joy There's so much fruit in allowing you to be head of the household And it allows me to feel safe And I cannot express that enough my heart feels safe by allowing you to lead my heart My spirit my mind all that I am Feels safe and in right order when I allow you to lead and it doesn't mean I agree with everything But it just brings a peace in between the two of us That allows us to then come together in peace as well, which is the second part of this The second part of this is in the bedroom and It is true It is theologically true That when a husband and wife are in a state of grace And they engage in the marital act There are sacramental graces that flow between the husband and the wife that strengthen the marriage because The marital act is both unitive and procreative. It's not just for babies And it's not, you know, just to have fun It actually brings you together as one And creates a stronger bond between the two of you and the two of you and god And the two of you and god and it is it's remarkable What it does it's it's just remarkable when you're in a state of grace when you're Truly given over to god as individuals And then as one together understanding this is a gift that he's given us and he desires us to be Um close to one another he desires us to engage in this activity that's the way he's designed us, right? I mean the the enemy and society has told you it's dirty. It's bad. It's xyz, right? That's why pornography is rampant. That's why um You just see all the the junk out there that's meant to destroy the unity of a husband and wife in holy matrimony So I love this and I'll I'll kind of close out this this question with this but there's this Beautiful priest that's passed father Lambert and he was being cared by by a bunch of Beautiful holy nuns up in the Birmingham area. He said this to you when he was 90 years old Yeah, but he used to tell other couples he didn't just tell me but Um, he what he said was in marriage there should be sex and lots of it And I would extend that with in a state of grace. Yeah, you know And in service to the to the other it's not about use or abuse. Yeah, right, okay We probably have time for one or two more And maybe I can speak to this next question Do you do you want to talk about? You know praying over one another the sure, you know, I think that's important in this too Yeah, we probably shouldn't shouldn't leave out happen this week, right? Both of us actually. Yeah, both of us and and so do you want to explain about what the realities are there about? The the coverage or I don't know what you're getting at. Okay, so if you have a more specific question or you can just dive into it And I can add okay, so so the thing is is that As one You have authority over me, right? And as one I have authority With you not to circumvent you but your body is my body in a spiritual in a spiritual reality warfare sense in particular We are one person. Yeah And therefore your body, you know, I have authority there and you have authority with my body and my soul and my spirit, right? Right. Yeah, spiritual rights and authority, right? And so when I'm struggling I can go to you and I can say dean I'm in desolation or I'm in spiritual warfare or I'm feeling Stressed and anxious. I'm feeling fearful. You know, I'm hearing Thoughts in my head that are that are telling me that I'm never gonna amount to anything or I'm never gonna be a good mother Or you know, we're never gonna get out of the situation or our children are lost Whatever it is, right that the enemy likes to whisper in our heads I can recognize that that's spiritual warfare. I can come to you and say You know, beloved spouse Dan Burke come will you pray over me? And you can lay hands on me and you can pray over me And you've done it many many many times and every time that I surrender to that and I request it and you provide that coverage and you Command in Jesus name that anything that's affecting me leave me now And go to the foot of the cross and you pray a blessing over me That desolation has lifted that warfare has lifted. I've been strengthened. I've been brought to peace, right? The opposite is also true. You know and and this week you were struggling You'd had a terrible night. Yeah, I just to be really specific so people know. I mean I I had some pretty horrifying things happen to me as a child and Rarely now but occasionally a memory will come back or um, I don't even know what to call it a feeling it feels like You know the same demonic presence is there and it's not fun Yeah, it's not a minor thing. It's not fun. And so it happened this week And so I asked Stephanie If she would pray over me and she did. Yeah, because we were both up early for prayer Yeah, and you said hey, you know when you get your coffee would you mind coming and so I and and I want to I wanted to talk about what a beautiful moment it was for us because You know, I asked you what's going on. Yeah, and so you practiced rule 13 You show rule 13 of st. Ignatius first set of rules of discernment of spirit So you shown a light on what was going on you you explained it to me Um, we so we got it out there in the open And so then we started doing we did some renunciations together We renounced some lies and then I prayed Um over you and for you And what we want you explain renunciations. We were running out of time, but I think we have a little bit to cover that I'm just saying, you know, what are you feeling? What's coming up? Oh, it's a type of fear or anxiety or whatever is so we said in the name of jesus And you repeated it. I renounce all spirits of fear all spirits of doubt or despair or narcissism Which is the opposite of love, you know, so we went down that road And we renounced any lies and we replaced them with the truth all in jesus's name and in the power of our oneness And you felt relief and it got better. Oh, yeah, absolutely was relieved and it did get better Pretty quick there. So that's just another way Of providing spiritual cover and is doing is essentially engaging in spiritual warfare Yeah on behalf of our spouses. So with that we're out of time If you're interested in going deeper in your marriage or improving your marriage or saving your marriage Go to go to spiritualdirection.com We do a couple of retreats a year at our events page on our events page spiritualdirection.com forward slash events divine intimacy and marriage And uh, you'll I have no doubt that you'll be blessed Okay, so with that until next time may the god of peace make you perfect in holiness May he preserve you whole and entire spirit soul and body irreproachable at the coming of our lord jesus christ amen perfect timing