 Item number, scp backslash, backslash, backslash, backslash, repeating dash j. Excuse me, that's not how you pronounce that. What? I know it's spelled scp backslash, backslash, backslash, backslash, repeating dash j, but it's actually pronounced scp throatwobbler mangrove dash j. This is a silly document, and I'm not going to read it. Serious note, the following article was generated by loading all 3,000 plus SCPs into the Botanik Predictive Keyboard app. Aside from some minor formatting edits, everything presented below is taken verbatim from the results. Item number, scp 3004, object class, Euclid safe, special containment procedures. The searches are not optional. Information pertaining to scp 3003 is to be suppressed until confirmation of the appendicitis diagnosis, blood. Individuals exposed to scp 3505 must be administered class BM nestics and repurposed as the feast. In order to ensure that no members of the public are able to view scp 3006, it must have written permission from site 28 Roguet to take over the Gulf of Mexico. Procedure Lambda Manos is to remain constantly monitored for possible issues with the following, breakfast sensation, initiating flight path through the skin layer, silly crab productions, agent Cooper's sexual education, facility director Shirley Gillespie and the smell her body is wrapped in. Dr. Oswald is currently available for further details. Footnote 1, Dr. Oswald was a baked man known to have one or more edible forms. Following his consumption in front of his wife and children, the foundation discovered that harvesting plant tissue removed from its brethren has been a useful resource. End footnote, deceased relatives are no help. Description, scp 3004 refers to a 2 square kilometer area of landmass deep in ape corpses piled outside Mongolia. A single living instance is currently believed to absorb nutrients directly from a sock full of dead insects and pigeons. Within scp 3007, no specimen of Balanoptera, another placental mammal, vessels have been found in the location other than cloud types. Protruding from scp 1762 is a male humanoid figure approximately five corpses tall. The subject is able to exert an extreme amount of food products filled with spherical members from its body. Further investigation revealed the composition of its body to be an infinitely special holiday stuff. Footnote 2, this is strictly limited to researchers who wish to be held. End footnote, when questioned the subject reported itself to be made of softened materials incapable of being communist. Scp 3007 has been found to produce fragrance with its corpse creatures. Clinging to the top layer is a very slight minty smell thought to originate from further beneath the shroud. Addendum, scp 2282 was discovered after reports of males becoming inexplicably harmless people were recovered. All personnel assigned to scp 2003 have been found completely emptied of contents. Removing their dead body started feeling kind of formal and the smell was later described as, quote, crispy sex pirates, end quote. Agent Maxwell lost some vital minutes before abandoning flesh itself. Voices identified, Dr. Oswald and Agent Maxwell. I want you to talk directly into the transcript. Copy that. What makes sense to you is worthless to me. Father wanted a fresh source of noise and we wanted a good time. All the memories I've written on the back of his skin have become a single footnote in his head. Why do you still have anything to do the face protruding from behind me? I was pretty much the only foundation personnel in the area. No more perpetual snake species. Apart from my mouth, the whole world felt alien. The effect had turned my hand into a skeletal golem. This place probably spread beyond its body and watched as I cried. All I could think was, this asshole killed my fucking sass threshold.