 Why You Must Avoid Having Sex With Narcissists Welcome to the Narc Survivor YouTube Channel. Before I begin, please give this video a thumbs up down below. It helps the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors of narcissistic abuse. There is nothing wrong with desiring to have sex, or wanting to feel attractive or desirable. This is a completely normal thing for someone to want, but it is not so normal when you are dealing with narcissists, because they will use sex to manipulate and control you, until you end up feeling used, abused and discarded, and like you're just not a desirable person anymore. When you never felt like that before, it's just that you're now involved with an abusive narcissist, someone who is not concerned about anyone else's needs but their own, which is why they will deliberately orchestrate certain situations to make you feel like there's something wrong with you, to target your self-worth and self-esteem, because they know that sex is a personal thing, it's something people want to keep private. So it's easy for them to use it to isolate you, because it can be embarrassing, it can be something that you might not want to disclose to other people, which is why it's very important to have these communities where people can openly discuss their situation, so that they realize they're not alone and that other people have been through this too. Because it lets you know that it's not personal, this is just what narcissists do, and they do it to everyone, they've had years of practice, they've been doing it for a long time, so by this point of course their master's at making you think that your sexual pleasure is not important, and that only their pleasure matters, and in fact they will shame you for having sexual needs, they may even call you selfish or greedy, as though there's something wrong with you for wanting that, when really they're just very insecure and they may have experienced sexual trauma as a child, so now they use sex to gain narcissistic supply, because they have no innocence of value, their value comes from the external world, from other people, so they're constantly doing everything they can to feel powerful and in control, to get their narcissistic supply, to compensate for the fact that they actually have no internal value, and they have an inability to care for another person, which is why you must avoid having sex with them, because they are very bad sexual partners, they don't even care about your wants, needs and desires, all they care about is their narcissistic supply, which is why they will use sex to manipulate and control you, and to devalue and gas like you, to make you think you're going crazy, when you are not going crazy, they're just using sex to exploit you when you are most vulnerable, because in their minds it makes you weak, it's something for them to take advantage of, so that they can use it to hurt you, and they are always looking for weaknesses, so you should definitely avoid putting yourself in a vulnerable position with the narcissist, because they're only going to use it to that advantage, which is why you should never even reveal your sexual fantasies or desires to them, you should divert your attention away from it, because that's the one thing they're going to go after, if you're finding this video helpful please do give it a thumbs up down below, thank you, but yes in a sexual relationship you should want to feel desirable, and you should want to desire your sexual partner, but when you're in a relationship with a narcissist you're never going to get that, just as you're never going to get any other normal part of a relationship, instead it's going to be anything but normal or usual, and it's going to be full of gaslighting, where they're making you think that you're losing your mind, because all they really care about is controlling you, and making you feel like you're less than them, because they're very insecure, so they can't have a normal relationship with anyone, all they're ever going to do is manipulate and control the person that they're with, and when you have to experience that it can be very painful, because they've manipulated you, they've lured you into this relationship, they got you to attach to them, and you don't even feel like they desire you, yet at the same time they want you to be under their control, they want to feel like they own you, even while they're devaluing you and they're always angry and jealous, they're fiercely protective of you, as though the last thing they want is for someone else to take you away, but then they're also very interested in your past sexual encounters, they want to know about what you've done in the past, even though it's just making them even more jealous, even more possessive and controlling, well at the same time they're calling you selfish for having your own sexual needs, as though you're not even supposed to be a person, but then it's a right if they want it, because only their needs matter, and even if you call them out on it, it will cause a narcissist injury and then they will rage, because deep down they already know that something is seriously wrong with them, but they don't want to hear it, even if they are crazy and irrational, they will gas like you, they will tell you that they're not jealous, even though it's blatantly obvious that they are, because they can't even stand to see you on the receiving end of any attention, and they don't even take the opportunity to give any attention to you, because their attention hoars, they need all of the attention for themselves, which is why they will often coerce you, they will start demanding sex from you, especially if they've seen you talking to someone else, even if it was completely innocent, because they're paranoid, when the reality is that they don't even care about the act of sex, or they care about his control, so they want you to prove to them that they're the only one, so that they can feel safe and secure, but while they're worried about your infidelity, they will threaten to cheat on you, especially if you're not doing what they want you to do, and this is where it can get very dangerous for you, because clearly, they are attention hoars, and it's likely that they may be sleeping around behind your back, so they may be having unprotected sex with other people, and it's not uncommon for narcissists to give their victims' s to guys, because remember they lack empathy, and they may even use that to control you, because then they know that even if they leave you for another person, you're not going to be able to enter a new relationship, and this is something that they will often do because they're very possessive and controlling, even if they've got someone else on the side, they will do it deliberately, because they want to inflict emotional pain and distress, especially if they can give you something that's uncurable, because then they will feel like they'll own you for the rest of their lives, which is the ultimate source of supply for a narcissist, so clearly sex is very important to narcissists, it's a very useful tool, but ironically enough, they may often withhold sex from you, as a means of controlling you, they will use sex as a weapon, as a way of harming you, and if they're a malignant narcissist, they may even become violent, they may even try to rape you, or engage in degrading or sadistic sex, they may try to entice you into it in the beginning, but over time it will become even more forceful and disturbing, which is why it's best that you avoid having sex with a narcissist before it gets to that point, because there is really no telling what they might do, they're very sick and deranged, and they're just not suitable partners for a healthy sexual relationship. Thank you for watching, if you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up, let me know your thoughts in the comment section, and hit that subscribe button to receive the notifications, and if you would like to support the channel, you can donate at paypal.me-naxivver, you can book a one on one with me on my website, it is naxivver.co.uk, thank you all for watching, and I'll talk to you soon.